And she means that literally
and figuratively. I think *she* has family of origin issues re: abuse and I think she may have had abuse in previous relationships, perhaps her marriage.
When she said she was "old-fashioned", she didn't say it in a way that excuses why she couldn't bring herself to ask Jodi about more explicit sexual details. She wore it as a
badge of honor.
We all construct realities to some extent and when you're a kid it can be your only escape. Her generation had a different view of "proper" things to talk about in public and "improper" things to ask another person. She never made the distinction between being an advocate for an abused person and being a dinner party guest. You have to ask the hard questions as an advocate. You don't ask personal questions at a dinner party.
She needs everyone to always say "please" and "thank you" and to do everything you say you're going to do and her standards for behavior for men in "relationships" are completely different from her standards for women.
And she brings those personal beliefs about acceptable social behavior to her weird belief that Travis was an abuser because he didn't call Jodi back on occasion or he had sex with her and immediately left or he didn't say please or he raised his voice to her or he was rude in an e-mail or he insulted her or said negative things about her family.
Seriously lady? If we physically struck back with Jodi-esque force at every man who failed to remember an important date, chose football over going out to dinner, told (as opposed to asking politely) us to bring them a towel or were just plain crummy boyfriends, it would be a bloodbath.
The concept of a friends with benefits relationship or even a purely booty call agreement is so foreign to her.
And for some reason she thinks Jodi's 5 month sexual romp with Travis was a committed relationship that should have led to marriage if only TRAVIS hadn't foiled Jodi's plan by breaking up with her and seeing other women.
Since I'm already into a thesis, I'll just say that I think Jodi ran this hustle on Travis after he told her he didn't want anything serious with her: "No, no, I agree with you. I don't want a serious relationship either. Let's just hang out and if it goes somewhere, great. If not, we're still great friends" ...
He was naive and inexperienced so he took her at her word.
She made a telling comment earlier when JW was questioning her about Jodi's sexual boundaries that she (meaning DV Lady) "may be comparing my boundaries to Jodi's". Shouldn't the evaluator separate herself and her issues from the person she's evaluating? She doesn't get to make moral judgments in her role AS A CRISIS INTERVENTION/CONFLICT RESOLUTION/DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR ADVOCATE.
She could even somehow see Jodi as representative of what she wishes she could have done to a man who truly abused her (or even behaved in a way that she defines as abusive) or maybe she wishes her mother had been able to take action against her father ... whatever the issues are with DV Lady, there is no arguing the issues are there. And glaring.
Long-winded way to say DV Lady is totally projecting.
The defense team should have seen this bias in spite of their glee at having found an expert willing to testify. JW is a death penalty approved attorney so surely she's seen this kind of desperation to save a client thing before.
The defense team should have had another psychologist or therapist come in to confirm DV Lady's findings or at least put her through a tough grilling about her assessment. I would have, especially knowing Juanderful would be the prosecutor.
I'm stepping down from my soap box now and going to get a much needed cup o' joe.
