Intimate Partner Violence is definately Not about anger. It is about control.
Abusers can CONTROL their anger very well. Person after person as told me how the abuser can be in a raging fit but when the doorbell rings and they answer it, "No problems here, officer. We were just having a little argument and I guess it was kinda loud. Isn't that right, darling? See, everythings fine. We are so sorry you guys had to come out tonight."
Don't believe it? Then just take a look at Jodi. So calm and collected. I bet she takes those little pencils back to her cell and stabs them into the wall until they look like nail heads. When JM was cross examing ALV, did you notice how vigorously she was erasing and sweeping her paper? I did. And if I were one of her victims, that would have brought me in line just like that.