.. but the point is, neither of you are up on a murder trial .. and if you were, then it would be expected that those messages would be gone through to establish the state of the relationship in order to see whether DV was a factor. Which is exactly what is happening here, in this case with OP. There is no point in using a hypothetical situation involving your own situation .. it isn't relevant because it hasn't resulted in the same thing that Reeva and OP's relationship did, i.e. her death during the relationship (for whatever reason, yet to be determined).
Of course, it's a hypothetical. I've made this same point in the JA trial. It's impossible to get a full picture of the relationship over texts alone. It's impossible.
What I am saying is, hypothetically (of course) if say I ended up dead and my husband is on trial and he says we had a very loving, wonderful relationship, that would not be a lie. It's scary that a lawyer can cherry pick a few convos and say, "see, you're lying, you did not have a great relationship, you argued sometimes." I fail to see how that's fair. In fact, we had an argument earlier that, taken out of context, can seem like what it isn't. I'll post a bit to make a point:
Me: It makes me feel bad when you try and put all the responsibility on me for everything. I understand your frustration but I don't think that's fair and it hurts my feelings.
Him: Ok I understand, and I don't want to hurt your feelings. I'm just under a lot of pressure for work, I just need your help.
I just imagine some ALV type taking that as evidence that he hurts me, abuses me, and blames me for his anger while making excuses for it. Taken alone, I shudder think someone can say, "so what he apologized and took responsibility for hurting her? He blames work and her not helping him for his anger. And why couldn't she say this to his face? And why does he brush her off...etc. Classic DV." When that couldn't be farther from the truth. And he is stressed at work, very stressed.