Chewy
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- Jul 8, 2010
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She was a woman on a budget, perhaps she was trying to both fulfill her desires and save money for her family, so she stayed somewhere as affordable as possible.
Could be, could be that she wanted something authentic. I live in Bay Ridge Brooklyn and i didn't realize until reading some of the posts on here how certain things in certain cultures are just "obvious" to me as "off" just because I've lived closely to people like this over the last few years. There's a lot of shows on TV about living in NY and most of them are so far removed from reality that it's not funny. I think "The King of Queens" is one of the only shows that come close.
If you look at where they lived, their cultural background etc, the fact that she has kids, the fact that it is during the school season, this thing just doesn't make any sense at all as a "Photography Trip to See the World"
Maybe she connected on an emotional level with someone and they made her feel special so she wanted to visit them or maybe she wanted to challenge herself. Her brother and husband said she did a triathlon when it was a stretch, so she clearly liked a challenge and break from the norm.
I like to break the norm, I'm not judging her for breaking the mold and trying something wild and different. My own mother spent 6 months backpacking through Europe and left 6 kids at home including a six month old baby when I was a kid. It's not normal to do this to your family in order to "find yourself." There are plenty of other outlets in the world available. If she wanted to keep a commitment to go to Turkey on some life long dream of hers I'd believe it if she went with her friend and didn't have sex with the guy while she was there.
Her friend bailed on her, so she decided when will I have this chance again or she had her ticket already and that was the largest expense, so she went. Sometimes if you wait for people to have the same vacation times, money, or perfect life circumstances you just end up waiting forever. I admire that she followed her heart.
So do I.
Her marriage could be turbulent, it could be a lot of things, it doesn't matter what she did, even if it doesn't match the moral code of a lot of people. She was married at 19 and for nearly 15 years. There wasn't much time to get to know what she wanted out of life. Suddenly this new found passion was igniting a positive response and she appreciated the attention. There's nothing wrong with that. She doesn't need to be portrayed as a hussy or a saint. She's just human.
It's not about judging the person, it's about figuring out important clues. Something about this doesn't add up. Many people have said the same thing. It's not "one or two" issues, it's many issues. Her story doesn't gel and it's obvious she was lying to her husband.
She left her children in the care of family who she clearly trusted. Again, nothing to be judged. It might not be the choice a lot of people would make, but she felt the big enough need to do it for herself for whatever reason.
You are discussing something again about judging. It's not about judging to say it is not a normal thing to do. It is just an indication that there is more to this story than a random act of violence.
This has nothing to do with having children or not, but more so with being compassionate to the fact we all live different lives with different struggles and different circumstances. Some days people decide to do one thing and 5 years later they are in a different place and wouldn't consider it.
I think it does. It think people who don't understand how big of a deal it is for her to do this probably don't have kids. It means that her passions meant enough for her to risk her kids not having a mother in order to do this.
This is not judging her as a mother, it's observing her mental state.
Basically two kinds of people would do this
A. Someone who is passionate about something in such a way that they can't not do it without sacrificing part of their identity.
It's clear this is how she and her husband and family tried to present it to the world, that she went to Istanbul on a photography trip. Well I know a lot of photographers and they all say that is total BS because the idea of being in such a glorious rare opportunity of a space without your camera for once in a lifetime shots is inconceivable to them. If it was about photography she would have taken her camera no matter what.
She didn't. The trip was not about photography.
In the beginning it was also suggested that she was going to meet her Instagram Pals but this turned out not to be true at all. It speaks to the way her family rationalized this to everyone around them as a trip of "Passion for Photography."
It wasn't.
The other reason someone does something like this is that they are desperate to get out of their situation and see the world. She may have felt it was her opportunity to see the world and come alive.
The problem for me with this is that she slept with a stranger over there and that just seems completely bizarre. She obviously went on this trip to see someone.
So this more and more looks like an escape plan gone wrong. The fact that her shoes and bag are missing could be that women attacked her.
Who knows.
Judging her or her situation and taking the moral high road isn't going to solve this case or help remember her for who she was and how she made those close to her feel.
My comments above point out the difference in judgment and sleuthing. However I don't feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for her children. They are the true victims in all this. I also feel bad for her husband having to deal with all of this because someone wanted a chance to find themselves. No I simply don't believe it.
There are beautiful opportunities for photography in the Grand Canyon, in many other places in the US.
To me this looks like she was involved in something that wound up getting her killed.
But as I've said, we'll see.