Did you know that you had children that you knew that were victims of sex abuse, probably by a parent or relative?
I never heard of it. Sure, creepy old man, but never the true story of family sex abuse
Attitudes have changed. Decades ago, you didn't acknowledge child abuse or spouse abuse because "It's a family situation". I'm sure there was vague knowlege of it, but nobody intervened. Children and wives were once thought of as marital property. We haven't fully evolved from that way of thinking, but it is getting better.
I am 32 and worked with an older man of probably 78-80 (I remember him having his 60th HS reunion) when I became pregnant with my son seven years ago. I was a single mom, and this man decided to have a talk with me. He told me that the world was a better place when women stayed home with their children (I sort of agree, but not for his reasons) and I needed to suck it up and marry the father or I was basically going to be responsible for the downfall of society. He believed that working moms were the explanation for all evils in this country, and they should stay married no matter what. I asked him why he didn't put any blame on all of the dads who ran out on those moms and kids, and how were the moms supposed to support them without a working dad in the house. He told me that men wouldn't run out if women would keep their mouths shut and accept their fate. He said his own dad was a mean, drunk s.o.b. but his mother took her beatings and did her best with the situation and so in his eyes, his mother was a saint.
Also, my own grandma's mother died when my grandma was 12, leaving behind 8 children between the ages of newborn and 14 years old. This was back in the 30s. Six of those 8 children were girls, and all became replacements for her mom in every single way. They were made to quit school, cook, clean, hunt, plant a garden and can the family food, raise the younger kids and worst, he raped them all until they were old enough to move out of the house. He was finally turned in by one of the older ones (who was by that time out of the house and married) when the babies (twin girls) were 10 or so. He lost custody, but he was never jailed. You can't tell me that no neighbors or extended family members knew or suspected what he was doing to those kids for 10 years. But nobody turned him in. It was a family thing. Disgusting. I wish I could have met him so I could have punched him in the face for hurting my grandma and her siblings like that.
So this is the kind of thinking that kept family molesters and abusers from being outed in the past, I think. Thinking has changed for the most part, thank goodness, and so perps go to jail and friends and neighbors become aware. I don't believe for a second that it happens more frequently now than it did in the past. I think we just hear about it. There is more awareness, and the public perception of family privacy and property has shifted.
