Donjeta
Adji Desir, missing from Florida
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2009
- Messages
- 19,246
- Reaction score
- 633
I don't assume she felt that way. That's my own analogy.
But we don't need to assume at all what her wishes were. We have the testimony of her husband and parents as to what her wishes were - that she would not want to be kept alive this way.
We accept testimony about things like this all the time. Why suddenly is this different? Wy are we treating women differently, simply because they have a uterus that might have an embryo or fetus in it?
JMO, because the fact of the matter is that many women feel differently and make different decisions depending on whether there is a baby involved or not. I would, anyway. Normally I would prefer to die with dignity and not artificially ventilated if there is no hope of meaningful recovery. But if I was pregnant I would put my baby's life ahead of my right to die without ventilators and say, to he!! with my dignity, please do anything you can to save my baby. I had a cancer scare during one of my pregnancies and I had it all thought out. I would normally have wanted all the treatments the doctors recommended as soon as possible but I had decided that I would delay anything that could harm the baby.
I realize not everybody is me but I think I'm probably not the only one who thinks like that. It is possible that MM would want the same things anyway and her husband might be right that she'd prefer to disconnect the ventilator, never mind what happens to the baby. Perhaps she would be particularly worried for her baby and that's why she'd like to disconnect the ventilator, to save her baby the suffering.
But it's possible that all the families don't know what their loved ones want either unless they have made a point of discussing the end of life decisions while pregnant and while not pregnant. Mine didn't... I didn't want to talk about it, it was too scary.
The only way for anybody to know for sure what we want after we are incapacitated is for us to put it in writing beforehand. There's no way to take all the different contingencies into account but it would be easy enough for the advance directives of fertile women to add a rider, "if I'm pregnant, please disregard the above and try to save my baby if possible? yes/no/maybe in some circumstances/let the father of my baby know the facts and the prognosis and decide what he wants to do".