I've followed this case from the very beginning, since I am in Texas and it's been huge news here.
Here's the deal (and maybe some other posters have said this too, I haven't read the whole 12 pages).
You don't backchat a cop. You don't backchat a coach, a sports referee, a teacher, a principal, a TSA officer, an IRS official, a bouncer, a judge, or a cop. You aren't on an equal footing in the relationship. They have command of the situation, and can't be expected to have to cajole/plead with/convince people to do what they are being asked to do and offer explanations for their requests. We as a society have kind of forgotten that people in certain positions are to be obeyed when they tell you what to do. Within reason. And although this cop was a jerk and pulled her over for not using a turn signal, he was giving her a warning and not a ticket. At which point she started backchatting him and then when he requested that she put the cigarette out (kind of an unreasonable jerky thing to ask, he really didn't need her to do it) she flat refused him and then refused to get out of the car when told to exit the vehicle.
These aren't two citizens on equal footing, one telling the other what to do. This is a cop telling her to do this. What would our public places be like, if everytime a cop told someone to go sit on the curb, vacate the location, etc. got backchat and refusal to cooperate? Bedlam is what.
It's a great skill, really, knowing when to shut your mouth. She should have shut her mouth, put out her cigarette, taken her warning ticket and left. And maybe written something to the police chief about being treated disrespectfully.
If all the cops who were jerks were all fired, we wouldn't have enough cops to do their job.
That is certainly a skill I've taught my kids. Shut your mouth. Don't go on and on and on refusing to get out of the car, and saying ooohhhhhhhh, I can't WAIT to see you in court, ooohhh, I can't wait til this goes to court.
Sad that her family wouldn't come bail her out before tragically she killed herself.