Cluella DeVille
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Damage limitation IMOIf you were PA / her family, why would you agree to this?
This is the burden of her legacy her girls will now carry. Da![]()
Damage limitation IMOIf you were PA / her family, why would you agree to this?
This is the burden of her legacy her girls will now carry. Da![]()
RSBM. I agree with this. I also think making a big issue of leaving the dog and phone on the bench has made the press/public interest worse. IMO the 10th January visit by police has made them act differently in all this. Maybe because something that they did or didn't do that evening or the aftermath that could have contributed to her being missing.I still think if, at the very beginning, when NB was reported as a missing person the words 'may have been in a vulnerable state of mind' should have been used. I have heard vulnerable used in loads of missing people reports and don't understand why her state of mind was hidden in this case. IMO the publics interest in the case wouldn't have been anything like it has been if there had been clarity from the start and would have avoided such personal detail being released
I think public suspecting and spreading rumors about PA involvement was more damaging to the family than this - maybe police want to stop speculating and prove they know what they are doing.If you were PA / her family, why would you agree to this?
This is the burden of her legacy her girls will now carry.![]()
Do you not think they probably still have more information we’re not privy to? Also, they said vulnerabilities, so is there more than alcohol and the menopause?THIS! I’m absolutely appalled that LE released this information. I understand thousands of people were speculating all sorts of horrific scenarios and the media was about to spill the beans. But that’s an unfortunate and unavoidable reality in today’s world. Anyone who happens to become “famous” like this will be examined under a microscope by a bunch of trolls, busy-bodies and garden variety gossips. It’s terrible. And there’s no stopping it.
But for LE to officially release this information rachets my dismay to a new level. If Nicola is still alive I hope she’s away from WiFi, tv and has no cell signal. Whatever demons she’s wrestling with would certainly be compounded by all the rumor and speculation in social media and the press. But to have her situation spelled out by LE leaving no doubt…. I have no words.
Not that it’s the case here but most of us know someone w/a spouse who over-reacts, exaggerates and bad-mouths them at every turn either for attention, to make it seem like they’re “the good one” or to manipulate custody hearings. What a field day for them now if their victim happens to get drunk and behave badly one night. Again, I’m not suggesting that’s the case here but it’s one reason why I’m so upset.
I suspect this will make some people in her community think twice before they call LE for any kind of personal/domestic issue. It sure as Hell would give me pause,
They could just had said that he was working from home, the house has cctv, and they have cleared him.I think public suspecting and spreading rumors about PA involvement was more damaging to the family than this - maybe police want to stop speculating and prove they know what they are doing.
however I think they shouldn't have released the details about incident on 10th Jan
It appears to have primarily been PA who didn't want the information made public. But there's a line between releasing just enough information to be helpful, and appearing to mislead everyone. I, personally, feel quite mislead.I still think if, at the very beginning, when NB was reported as a missing person the words 'may have been in a vulnerable state of mind' should have been used. I have heard vulnerable used in loads of missing people reports and don't understand why her state of mind was hidden in this case. IMO the publics interest in the case wouldn't have been anything like it has been if there had been clarity from the start and would have avoided such personal detail being released
I don’t think this post will be popular but I agree with you. The information we had and didn’t have pointed people’s guesses certain ways. No, an alcohol problem can’t be verified as a “fact” at this stage and even if it did, doesn’t absolutely indicate accident or suicide, but it’s still relevant in assessing possibilities.It appears to have primarily been PA who didn't want the information made public. But there's a line between releasing just enough information to be helpful, and appearing to mislead everyone. I, personally, feel quite mislead.
NB's problems aren't my business, but if you're going to make public statements and appear in primetime TV shows asking for help, there are ways to say NB has "vulnerabilities" without invading her privacy. Instead, PA and all of the other friends and family made it seem like everything was perfect and wonderful... which it quite clearly wasn't.
It's easy to second-guess and hindsight is always 20/20. But we now have PA and the family upset about the overwhelming attention and revealing of personal details, when as you've noted in your post, this case probably wouldn't have taken off the way it has if the family had been more honest about the circumstances.
It's an incredibly unfortunate situation.
of course but we the public don't need to know any of that tbh,Do you not think they probably still have more information we’re not privy to? Also, they said vulnerabilities, so is there more than alcohol and the menopause?
Perhaps PF was right. The phone was a decoy left by NB and she wandered off elsewhere.There’s nothing about this case that makes sense to me. Firstly, knowing what they did where were the appeals, in case she had left the area and needed assurances she could come home? They didn’t need to say why (but also they could’ve done as she shouldn’t be judged) but they could have been stronger. We still don’t know if she’s out there reading these posts about how depressed /suicidal she was that day, maybe she wasn’t. Because we still don’t know where she is.
Secondly, why allow PF to come up and use his expensive equipment if they weren’t going to share vital information that would’ve possibly got her found? Surely finding her was the goal, and I get PF saying slipping in the shallows versus jumping in the middle and deep , is completely different. Just weird as his search seems a bit pointless and he could’ve gone farther down. Surely getting her found should’ve been the highest priority.
PA knows the history and yet says 100 % she’s not in the river.
For me, this is as confusing as it was at the beginning. It’s very troubling.
Even that wouldn't stop some people from still insinuating he's involved. Some would say it's to trick him into feeling they aren't on his case. It's mad.They could just had said that he was working from home, the house has cctv, and they have cleared him.
Although difficult for the family it may help to quash untrue rumours and assumptions from being made. Maybe it was a difficult decision to make to release the information but it was obviously deemed necessary at the time.If you were PA / her family, why would you agree to this?
This is the burden of her legacy her girls will now carry.![]()
I have no idea. And I don’t care. I just know that there’s absolutely no reason why any of us here need to or should know about her returning alcohol issues, struggles with menopause (OMG!) , home welfare check etc. It’s not helpful, Definitely say she’s “in a vulnerable state” if you have to, but the rest of it is nobody’s business.Do you not think they probably still have more information we’re not privy to? Also, they said vulnerabilities, so is there more than alcohol and the menopause?
In my opinion it was left thinking the family would at least get some closure when she was found.Perhaps PF was right. The phone was a decoy left by NB and she wandered off elsewhere.
This is what I think. Dog and phone were clues to her family.In my opinion it was left thinking the family would at least get some closure when she was found.
100% agree. It's quite common to see an indication in missing person announcements that the person is vulnerable. If this had been said at the start rather than the fit, healthy, happy, narrative, maybe we wouldn't have had the feeding frenzy of speculation, accusations and plain fantasy (not that any scenario should be ruled out at this point). I think yesterdays announcement was partly an exercise in damage limitation but imo the speculation has been unleashed now and has just switched focus.NB's problems aren't my business, but if you're going to make public statements and appear in primetime TV shows asking for help, there are ways to say NB has "vulnerabilities" without invading her privacy. Instead, PA and all of the other friends and family made it seem like everything was perfect and wonderful... which it quite clearly wasn't.