UK - Nurse Lucy Letby, Faces 22 Charges - 7 Murder/15 Attempted Murder of Babies #19

[JamesMcGillEsquire]

What an odd request, don't have contact with anybody except these three friends? I've never heard of that. It's usually do not discuss this with anyone, or lightly suggested you should be quiet about it. Not only these three?

Ambigious isnt it?
However this was not a direct order, moreso a suggestion. It's possible this advice was thought to be in Ms. Letby's best interests, and left to her as to whether the advice was heeded.

JMO

 

[katydid23]

Dan O'Donoghue
@MrDanDonoghue


The murder trial of Lucy Letby continues at Manchester Crown Court this morning - after almost seven months of prosecution evidence, her defence begins today. Ms Letby has left the dock and is sat in the witness box ready to begin her evidence

Ms Letby is flanked by two dock officers in the witness box, she has just taken the oath and is responding to questions from her defence barrister Ben Myers KC

Mr Myers is asking Ms Letby about her background - she says she was the first in her family to go to university. She said she 'always wanted to work with children' and picked qualifications to become a nurse

Ms Letby tells the jury that in the period these offences are alleged to have taken place 2015-2016 she cared for hundreds of babies and denied harming any of them

She said when she found the allegations against her 'sickening'. 'I just couldn’t believe it, it was devastating', she said

After she became aware of the allegations in September 2016 she said 'I went to my GP, I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating had a complete change in my whole life. I was started on some antidepressants which I remain on now'

Ms Letby said over the last few years there has been 'times when I didn’t want to live'. She said her 'job was her life' and that she 'can't put in to words' the impact the accusations have had on her

Ms Letby has broke down in tears as she recalls the first time she was arrested - she was woken by officers at 6am in July 201. [<<<typo by Dan---]

 

[gc105]

10:50am

Mr Myers asks if the trauma has left Letby sensitive to certain things.
Letby replies she is now sensitive to noises, and is "easily startled" by new things.
She says she has been diagnosed, in prison by a psychologist, with PTSD.

Via Chester Standard.

 

[gc105]

10:51am

She says the journey to and from court, from prison, is about an hour and a half each way.
Letby has been at court each day throughout the trial.
She says she usually returns to prison at 7pm from court.

Via Chester Standard.

 

[DianaWW]

That, then, largely explains the notes and her fears of police investigations as Sept 2016 is very early on. If innocent she had every reason to harbor the fears she expressed in the notes.

It explains her self-doubts and things like "I killed them because I'm not good enough" and suchlike.

But presumably being held responsible at this point would have meant that her care wasn't good enough, not that she's murdered anyone, seeing as the police weren't brought in until the following year? There's no mention of police here, and I don't know if this letter could explain writing that she killed them 'on purpose'. JMO. I'm still astounded that she's giving evidence!

 

[gc105]

Obviously the defence have a job to do, but all this info RE PTSD diagnosis, having to travel 1.5hrs each way every day for court, late back to prison etc, just screams WOE ME. If guilty of course, MOO!

 

[ColourPurple]

Throughout the trial, I always felt she would. Weirdly though, when it was announced this morning I was still surprised! I wonder if her testimony will help/hinder her defence?

Yup, I felt she was headstrong enough to ignore any advice not to , if she wanted to. But still surprised that she actually did.

And once again, tears only for herself already. IMO

 

[LadyEdgeworth]

That, then, largely explains the notes and her fears of police investigations as Sept 2016 is very early on. If innocent she had every reason to harbor the fears she expressed in the notes.

It explains her self-doubts and things like "I killed them because I'm not good enough" and suchlike.

What a strange timeline, so she was told in 2016 that she was being held responsible, but the police did not become involved until 2017 and she wasn't arrested until 2018.

 

[gc105]

10:53am

Mr Myers asks about notes.
Letby says, about her notes, "it's something I have done my whole life".
She adds she has "difficulties" throwing things away, and that includes notes.
Mr Myers asks about one of the notes she had written. Letby says she does not have a precise date of when she had written it - between July 2016 and July 2018. The note is headlined 'Not good enough'.

Via Chester Standard.

 

[Marantz4250b]

But presumably being held responsible at this point would have meant that her care wasn't good enough, not that she's murdered anyone, seeing as the police weren't brought in until the following year? There's no mention of police here, and I don't know if this letter could explain writing that she killed them 'on purpose'. JMO. I'm still astounded that she's giving evidence!

I am too!

No. it's not a perfect explanation for every word but it places the notes into much better context than they previously were.

 

[ColourPurple]

That, then, largely explains the notes and her fears of police investigations as Sept 2016 is very early on. If innocent she had every reason to harbor the fears she expressed in the notes.

It explains her self-doubts and things like "I killed them because I'm not good enough" and suchlike.

WHy have you left out the most important part of that quote?

I killed them ON PURPOSE...

That doesn't expalin that part, or explain why she wrote all those fears if they were written before September 2016, or why she assumed she would be found guilty if it went to court etc etc

 

[katydid23]

Ms Letby tells the jury that in the period these offences are alleged to have taken place 2015-2016 she cared for hundreds of babies and denied harming any of them

She said when she found the allegations against her 'sickening'. 'I just couldn’t believe it, it was devastating', she said

After she became aware of the allegations in September 2016 she said 'I went to my GP, I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating had a complete change in my whole life. I was started on some antidepressants which I remain on now'

Ms Letby said over the last few years there has been 'times when I didn’t want to live'. She said her 'job was her life' and that she 'can't put in to words' the impact the accusations have had on her

Ms Letby has broke down in tears as she recalls the first time she was arrested - she was woken by officers at 6am in July 201. [<<<typo by Dan---]

*2018...She tells the court she was told she was being charged with murder and attempted murder and taken away in her pyjamas. After this first arrest she was released on bail - part of her bail conditions was that she couldn't return to her home, so she moved in with parents

It was just the most, the scariest thing I've ever been through…it didn’t happen once, twice and a third time…it’s just traumatising', she said

She said she has been diagnosed with PTSD following the arrests and receives psychological support. She says it takes her one hour and a half to get to court from where she is currently being held. She gets up at 5.30am and gets back at 7pm

Mr Myers is now turning to the notes that were found in Ms Letby's home

Asked why she had written 'not good enough' on one note, she said 'I think that’s the overwhelming thought and feeling I had about myself at that point'

 

[gc105]

10:56am

Letby says she had written "I haven't done anything wrong" because she hadn't done anything wrong.
She said in the "worst case scenario", the police would get involved.
Re: 'slander and discrimination', she says that was how she felt the trust was towards her in regard to the allegations.

 

[marynnu]

What a strange timeline, so she was told in 2016 that she was being held responsible, but the police did not become involved until 2017 and she wasn't arrested until 2018.

'Being held responsible' is very vague and in this context would be taken to mean negligence or incompetence. It doesn't imply a criminal offence.

 

[Marantz4250b]

*2018...She tells the court she was told she was being charged with murder and attempted murder and taken away in her pyjamas. After this first arrest she was released on bail - part of her bail conditions was that she couldn't return to her home, so she moved in with parents

It was just the most, the scariest thing I've ever been through…it didn’t happen once, twice and a third time…it’s just traumatising', she said

She said she has been diagnosed with PTSD following the arrests and receives psychological support. She says it takes her one hour and a half to get to court from where she is currently being held. She gets up at 5.30am and gets back at 7pm

Mr Myers is now turning to the notes that were found in Ms Letby's home

Asked why she had written 'not good enough' on one note, she said 'I think that’s the overwhelming thought and feeling I had about myself at that point'

She wasn't charged until November 2020.

2018 she was arrested on suspicion of.

 

[gc105]

10:58am

re: 'I am an awful person...', Letby said at the time she did feel an awful person as she was worried she had made any mistakes.
She said she was being taken away from the job she loved for things she had not done.
She adds, at the time, she could not see a future for herself, in relation to 'I'll never children or marry'.
She says "my whole situation felt hopeless, at times".


11:00am

Re: 'HATE' and 'Hate myself for what this has' - "At the time, I did hate myself".
She says she was made to feel incompetent in some way.
She says her mental health at the time of writing this note was "poor".
She says it was "difficult", with the "isolation I felt", and this lasted "two years".

 

[Tortoise]

Another live blog by Judith Moritz/ BBC

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-65431833

I'll copy over updates from this until I have to leave

 

[ColourPurple]

10:56am

Letby says she had written "I haven't done anything wrong" because she hadn't done anything wrong.
She said in the "worst case scenario", the police would get involved.
Re: 'slander and discrimination', she says that was how she felt the trust was towards her in regard to the allegations.

Letby says she had written "I haven't done anything wrong" because she hadn't done anything wrong.She said in the "worst case scenario", the police would get involved.Re: 'slander and discrimination', she says that was how she felt the trust was towards her in regard to the allegations.


That's placing the "Not good enough" "I killed them on purpose note BEFORE the police investigation IMO

 

[gc105]

11:05am

Re: 'I killed them on purpose because I am not good enough to care for them, I am a horrible evil person'.
Asked what she means by that note, Letby responds: "I [felt as though I] hadn't been good enough and in some way I had failed [in my duties, my competencies]...that was insinuated to me."
Re: 'I AM EVIL I DID THIS' - "I felt at the time if I had done something wrong, I must have been an awful person..."
Letby says she feared she may have been "incompetent" and because of that, she had "harmed those babies".
She adds she could not understand "why this happened to me".
She says, looking back, she was "really struggling" at the time of writing the note.

Via Chester Standard

********

This explanation doesn’t cut it for me, tbh.

 

[katydid23]

*2018...She tells the court she was told she was being charged with murder and attempted murder and taken away in her pyjamas. After this first arrest she was released on bail - part of her bail conditions was that she couldn't return to her home, so she moved in with parents

It was just the most, the scariest thing I've ever been through…it didn’t happen once, twice and a third time…it’s just traumatising', she said

She said she has been diagnosed with PTSD following the arrests and receives psychological support. She says it takes her one hour and a half to get to court from where she is currently being held. She gets up at 5.30am and gets back at 7pm

Mr Myers is now turning to the notes that were found in Ms Letby's home

Asked why she had written 'not good enough' on one note, she said 'I think that’s the overwhelming thought and feeling I had about myself at that point'

Dan O'Donoghue

Mr Myers is now turning to the notes that were found in Ms Letby's home

Asked why she had written 'not good enough' on one note, she said 'I think that’s the overwhelming thought and feeling I had about myself at that point'

She'd written 'I am an awful person' on the note. Asked why, she said she felt at the time she was awful as perhaps, through a mistake, she had caused harm - she said she'd had everything taken away, 'the job that I'd loved and accused of things that I hadn't done'

Asked why she had written she'll never have a family, she said 'at that time I couldn’t’ see any future for myself....I didn’t have any hope…the whole situation felt hopeless at times'

Asked why she had written 'I am evil, I did this' she said evil she felt she 'somehow had been incompetent and done something wrong which effected those babies'

'I felt I must be responsible in some way', she added

She said she was 'really struggling' with her mental health when she wrote the note and it was a way for her to express everything she was feeling