Identified! VA - Annandale, WhtFem 245UFVA, ~60, 'NO CODE, DNR, No Penicillin', Dec'96

[astridxx]

Unlikely. Everything she did was from a book about how to commit suicide that was popular at the time. I've forgotten the title but it's mentioned several times in the earlier part of the thread. Astridxx found that for us, IIRC.

Wasn't me. But yes, it was from a book. I wanna say it was written in the 80s but for the love of me I can't remember the name either.

 

[rosesfromangels]

Does anyone have a clear pic of the ring? Any inscription or marks?

 

[Reyire Alexander]

Wasn't me. But yes, it was from a book. I wanna say it was written in the 80s but for the love of me I can't remember the name either.

Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - VA VA - Annandale - White Female 245UFVA, ~60, "NO CODE, DNR, No Penicillin", Dec'96 <--- yes you did astridxx and it was apparently called Final Exit. I don't really have much to add except this case kinda freaks me out since my father works in a cemetary and my mom wears trifocals, and wears similar clothing. It literally just makes me sad thinking this might be someone's mommy and they have no idea what happened to her. ):

 

[Jmoose]

I remember being on that dark ledge of hopelessness looking down at suicide. My brain told me it was the only way to end the suffering of myself and ease the burden on family. I haas thought about running way somewhere to die but I didn't want my family thinking I was abducted. I decided to do it on a warm, rainy September night. I had called the maintenance people so would find me in the morning and not my mother who checked on me frequently in my apartment. I put the shower curtain in the bath tub so there was no mess and prepared for it. Then the phone rang and it was a good friend I hadn't from since I had moved back home from college. We talked for hours. I hung the shower curtain back up and went to bed. I woke up the next morning in disbelief of what I almost did and I never told anyone, not even the friend who called. The thought of suicide is powerful. If you feel alone and anonymous in life that's how you want to go out sometimes.

Thank goodness, your friend called! Welcome back from the edge, Tssiemer

 

[micheleonelonly]

Just read through most of the thread again Here are my thoughts
You don't wear a DNR bracelet unless you think resuscitation is looming in the near future. She was terminally ill and took matters in to her own hands.
.

I like your ideas on this case, but I disagree with this point. DNR/No Code jewelry is very common among people in the medical fields and people with chronic illnesses. I first saw one on a doctor I once met, and I asked her what it meant. She told me that she has seen several resuscitation efforts and does not want those things done to her.

My sister is 23 and very healthy except that she has had diabetes for 9 years. She wears a medic-alert necklace listing her medications as well as a DNR order. She and our mom (also a diabetic) decided that was what they each wanted several years ago when my mom was writing her will and learned about all of the different types of medical orders around. Neither of them are waiting in their deathbed, but they wanted to make their wishes known just in case, since they both needed a medical bracelet anyway.

 

[ThePhantom]

Thank you to everyone who has been adding information about this unidentified lady. Does anyone happen to know where unidentified deceased are buried in this county? I, too, feel she lost all her loved ones along the way, and had no one left to feel connected to in this life. I'm thinking perhaps long time civil servant who recently retired -- thus no one from her office would be missing her. Maybe after her job ended, she felt she had no one else to connect with and nothing else to look forward to. There are many who live this way, alas.

I used to think it was a bit strange that not one single person recognized her -- not from the drycleaners, restaurants, grocery store, apartment building/neighborhood, nail salon, local drugstore, car repair (if she had a car, she may not have if she lived in that neck of the woods), doctor's office etc. -- until I remembered the case of "Mall Man," in which a young man who committed suicide at a mall remained unidentified for years -- and it turned out his family did not live that far away from where he died. Perhaps this lady came from Maryland or the District, and this is why she wasn't recognized in Annandale/Fairfax County.

It just seems very important that her identity is discovered -- that even though she must have felt unimportant in life, at least to us, she matters.

 

[astridxx]

Phantom, with this particular jane doe, her ashes sit on a shelf at the police station in ffx.


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[Tssiemer]

That's even sadder.

 

[carbuff]

Thank you to everyone who has been adding information about this unidentified lady. Does anyone happen to know where unidentified deceased are buried in this county? I, too, feel she lost all her loved ones along the way, and had no one left to feel connected to in this life. I'm thinking perhaps long time civil servant who recently retired -- thus no one from her office would be missing her. Maybe after her job ended, she felt she had no one else to connect with and nothing else to look forward to. There are many who live this way, alas.

I used to think it was a bit strange that not one single person recognized her -- not from the drycleaners, restaurants, grocery store, apartment building/neighborhood, nail salon, local drugstore, car repair (if she had a car, she may not have if she lived in that neck of the woods), doctor's office etc. -- until I remembered the case of "Mall Man," in which a young man who committed suicide at a mall remained unidentified for years -- and it turned out his family did not live that far away from where he died. Perhaps this lady came from Maryland or the District, and this is why she wasn't recognized in Annandale/Fairfax County.

It just seems very important that her identity is discovered -- that even though she must have felt unimportant in life, at least to us, she matters.

I have always assumed that this cemetery was a place she commuted past every day -- maybe looking out the bus window and seeing that it looked peaceful.

You could be right about her retiring. Maybe finally forced when she reached 70 or something. And yeah, publicity about something like this is never as thorough as it seems like it should be. She could be from quite near by.

 

[astridxx]

That's even sadder.

I should have clarified -- her urn sits on a shelf that overlooks the office. She's not in storage or anything.

 

[astridxx]

I have always assumed that this cemetery was a place she commuted past every day -- maybe looking out the bus window and seeing that it looked peaceful.

You could be right about her retiring. Maybe finally forced when she reached 70 or something. And yeah, publicity about something like this is never as thorough as it seems like it should be. She could be from quite near by.

I can't remember when this happened if I saw this on the news or not -- but it's area folklore. I believe a station or two has run a piece on it within the past 8-10 years to no avail.

As for the cemetery itself, I'm not sure what it looked like in 1996 but I know nowadays you kinda really have to be looking for it to see it. It's pretty well tucked back (not necessarily hidden but sits on a sort of a slight downslope) from the main rd. Of course, it is ENTIRELY possible she gazed upon it every day during her commute (which, if that was the case, I would say she'd be on a bus that was commuting west on 236 -- so toward the heart of Fairfax City, government buildings, etc).

 

[carbuff]

I can't remember when this happened if I saw this on the news or not -- but it's area folklore. I believe a station or two has run a piece on it within the past 8-10 years to no avail.

As for the cemetery itself, I'm not sure what it looked like in 1996 but I know nowadays you kinda really have to be looking for it to see it. It's pretty well tucked back (not necessarily hidden but sits on a sort of a slight downslope) from the main rd. Of course, it is ENTIRELY possible she gazed upon it every day during her commute (which, if that was the case, I would say she'd be on a bus that was commuting west on 236 -- so toward the heart of Fairfax City, government buildings, etc).

If she didn't want to be found and stopped, maybe what she liked about it was its isolation?

 

[astridxx]

If she didn't want to be found and stopped, maybe what she liked about it was its isolation?

It's certainly strange as the mausoleum she laid behind was one of the first things visible once you entered the parking lot. It is close enough to the main road to be seen. She could have easily walked further back into the park (which is not visible from the highway) and laid to rest in the woods.

 

[carbuff]

It's certainly strange as the mausoleum she laid behind was one of the first things visible once you entered the parking lot. It is close enough to the main road to be seen. She could have easily walked further back into the park (which is not visible from the highway) and laid to rest in the woods.

I've seen it said several times that she didn't seem to be connected to any of the nearby graves, but who's laid to rest in the mausoleum? Is that children also?

 

[astridxx]

That's the view of the cemetery entrance from the main road. The mausoleum is over to the right -- that little tiny brown/brick building.

Once I make it out there again I'll look inside the mausoleum. I didn't go in the last time.

 

[apearn]

I wonder about the 'no penicillian'. I don't think she got that thing for this event because if you want to die and you have a penicillin allergy...... It can only help the cause to get the penicillin. So perhaps then it was not her chain..... Or it was done prior to this plan.
I still wonder about Shirley Sprang but it looks like both have DNA so that should have been matched already.

 

[rosesfromangels]

She positioned herself in an area where she would be found quickly so she wouldn't create "a mess". That tidy plastic, etc.

I keep dwelling on the exotic juice brand the Monty Python tape. That tape is out of character for someone in her age group unless she saw it frequently on the BBC....in England? Is that juice sold mainstream in the UK?

 

[carbuff]

She positioned herself in an area where she would be found quickly so she wouldn't create "a mess". That tidy plastic, etc.

I keep dwelling on the exotic juice brand the Monty Python tape. That tape is out of character for someone in her age group unless she saw it frequently on the BBC....in England? Is that juice sold mainstream in the UK?

Monty Python's been well known in the US since the 70's. It fits right in with the other comedy tapes, too. She apparently had a slightly edgy sense of humor.

 

[Tssiemer]

That cemetary meant something to her. I don't think it's random or she would have done infront of the police office, or medical examiners office or a pretty park etc

 

[ThePhantom]

It's possible someone (a relative, distant or otherwise, or a friend perhaps) is buried in that cemetery. There is no way to really know, but given her attention to detail and planning this, it would make sense that there's some kind of logic (perhaps) to her choice of location. I also think AstriddXX' thought about this possibly being a place she passed on the way is very possible. There are many non descript apartments and condo complexes in this area filled with many civil servants, and she may have taken a bus downtown. I could be totally off base -- I have the sense that she felt unnoticed and unimportant in this life -- with no one to care for her -- and the type of personality that didn't allow for close connections to people. Just a lone soul walking amidst the throngs of people, no longer seeing a reason to be here, nor having anyone to talk to or share life with. There are introverts who enjoy spending a lot of time alone, and then there are introverts who need and want to connect with people but just aren't comfortable doing it. Gee, that's a lot of supposition on my part -- could be totally off the mark here. She could have been the life of the party at one time, but then lost her friends and family and grew lonely and depressed over time. ?