WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 7

[Magdalyn]

...and the 2 that do have indian names,so IMO it's safe to say they are from the Dad's side of the family.

To be fair, unless their surnames are the same, they could just be friends. My husband is filipino, and though his parents have been in this country over 40 years, they still tend to mostly 'hang' with other filipinos--who are not related.

ETA: Oops, you probably meant friends made through the father's side of the family, not necessarily relatives. If so, my mistake!

 

[Magdalyn]

This is so troubling to read about the rollercoaster ride that SM and his two children endured through JB and her bizarre obsessions. I can't imagine why the authorities weren't called when JB refused to feed her child. Or to have it documented how JB wouldn't allow the three of them inside "her home" until she was ready for them to enter. Incredible, but I guess that SM did not want to cause any more disturbances than there already were. Her outbursts must have been embarrassing, to put it mildly. I guess SM really really loved her. Maybe helplessly, or hopelessly? I don't know anyone who would tolerate that outrageous behavior for so long.

IMHO

BBM

I think it's probably more common than we think that people stay in unhealthy relationships out of love and they themselves become enablers--when they get caught up in the cycle, they try to convince themselves that either it's normal or that it's temporary and they can help their significant other get through this. (Solomon, leaving work early to care for M, going along with sleeping on the floor, etc.)

A friend of ours was in a 17 year marriage with someone who we believe is a narcissist and I think has sociopathic tendencies. He said he always knew something was 'off' with her, that she was a little different, but he loved her and she was his wife. For the first ten years he kept thinking she'd 'warm up' to the family and friends (no, she was slowly but surely isolating them FROM the family and getting rid of friends.) It wasn't until last year--year 17--when she decided to have an affair and leave HIM that he realized what life was like outside the unhealthy bubble she had them in, that he was unhappy, that their marriage was awful, that the entire marriage surrounded her needs only and at the expense of his happiness always, and that she was abusive. There were no children, thank God.

Point is, my friend said the same thing Soloman said in his declaration. That it wasn't until he got outside the cycle that her realized how unhealthy it was.

And I think in Solomon's case, he was trying to protect the children by staying with her as long as he could.

 

[Cubby]

Just considering it, eh?


Investigators Consider Criminal Investigation in Sky Metalwala's Disappearance

Investigators frustrated after a week of searching for Sky Metalwala said Sunday that they are considering shifting from a missing persons case to a criminal investigation as they try to find the Redmond toddler.

More: http://shoreline.patch.com/articles...tion-in-sky-metawala-s-disappearance-8f7cd485

IIRC in the presser we heard LE would give us more information regarding criminal investigation/charges? Monday.

My guess is they will give Julia limited time to cooperate and then change directions. Will that happen today? Not sure, but I expect it to happen soon.

 

[melissasmom]

ooh interesting comment underneath that picture now.I wonder if that is one of her friends,claiming JB does NOT have OCD.

I don't really understand the comment though. I don't see how that picture would prove anything. Um, isn't that a hotel room? Not really anywhere else for the kids to sleep but in the bed. Also would account for the mess. If you're in a hotel for any extended period of time, its going to be messy, especially with mom, 2 kids and maybe other people? Can't really tell from the pictures who all would have been in that one room. JMO

 

[momtective]

Just saw a teaser on GMA...Exclusive as Solomon speaks out...coming up.

 

[rachelslaw]

I wonder if both of these pieces of luggage can be accounted for?

IMG_2222 | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Fascinating picture!

What would have been the point? Anyone venture a guess? Why take a picture of a sloppy room, open suitcases, (is there a missing top drawer too?) and only the daughter? Hmmmm

Good question about the luggage. Seems to me that this picture was staged to make a point. Surely it has no other function. Even people who do not have OCD who were inclined to take a picture of their child would make an effort to tidy up or have the child in the forefront. This picture is of luggage and a sloppy room with the daughter as an afterthought, or a "prop" to personalize the photo.

IMO

 

[SurfieTX]

Just saw a teaser on GMA...Exclusive as Solomon speaks out...coming up.

SM didn't say much at all, just that he doesn't believe Julia's story. He expressed gratitude to the community for helping him search. He also said he believes Sky is coming home.

He's a very soft-spoken person.

 

[momtective]

Okay, just watched the GMA segment with Solomon and I'm in need of feedback because I can't believe how incredibly uncomfortable it made me. Maybe it's cultural, maybe it's just not knowing what to say in front of the camera...I don't know, but I do know I would have said a heck of a lot more to my spouse if I thought they had anything to do with the disappearance of my son. When asked if he believed his wife had something to do with Sky's disappearance, Solomon said "I do believe my son is coming back home, that's what I believe."
He said he doesn't believe Julia's story and feels that there is something she isn't saying. When asked what he wanted to say to Julia if she's watching, he said; "I would tell Julia, please if you know anything about Sky's disappearance, please come and tell the authorities so they can find him, so they can find him." That's it! Very strange indeed. jmo
He does believe Julia knows where Sky is and has something to do with his disappearance and he has not talked to his daughter.
When asked if there was anything he could think of to say to Julia to convince her to tell everyone what she knows and what happened to him, Solomon pauses long and then says "If the police thinks that it would help if I talk to her, I would if they tell me to. That's it! I think even George was uncomfortable. :doh:

 

[momtective]

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/missing-washington-toddler-sky-metawala-14947089

 

[SurfieTX]

Okay, just watched the GMA segment with Solomon and I'm in need of feedback because I can't believe how incredibly uncomfortable it made me. Maybe it's cultural, maybe it's just not knowing what to say in front of the camera...I don't know, but I do know I would have said a heck of a lot more to my spouse if I thought they had anything to do with the disappearance of my son. When asked if he believed his wife had something to do with Sky's disappearance, Solomon said "I do believe my son is coming back home, that's what I believe."
He said he doesn't believe Julia's story and feels that there is something she isn't saying. When asked what he wanted to say to Julia if she's watching, he said; "I would tell Julia, please if you know anything about Sky's disappearance, please come and tell the authorities so they can find him, so they can find him." That's it! Very strange indeed. jmo
He does believe Julia knows where Sky is and has something to do with his disappearance and he has not talked to his daughter.
When asked if there was anything he could think of to say to Julia to convince her to tell everyone what she knows and what happened to him, Solomon pauses long and then says "If the police thinks that it would help if I talk to her, I would if they tell me to. That's it! I think even George was uncomfortable. :doh:

It was super-awkward, wasn't it? Maybe he's on some medication or something?

 

[kiwijayne]

Okay, just watched the GMA segment with Solomon and I'm in need of feedback because I can't believe how incredibly uncomfortable it made me. Maybe it's cultural, maybe it's just not knowing what to say in front of the camera...I don't know, but I do know I would have said a heck of a lot more to my spouse if I thought they had anything to do with the disappearance of my son. When asked if he believed his wife had something to do with Sky's disappearance, Solomon said "I do believe my son is coming back home, that's what I believe."
He said he doesn't believe Julia's story and feels that there is something she isn't saying. When asked what he wanted to say to Julia if she's watching, he said; "I would tell Julia, please if you know anything about Sky's disappearance, please come and tell the authorities so they can find him, so they can find him." That's it! Very strange indeed. jmo
He does believe Julia knows where Sky is and has something to do with his disappearance and he has not talked to his daughter.
When asked if there was anything he could think of to say to Julia to convince her to tell everyone what she knows and what happened to him, Solomon pauses long and then says "If the police thinks that it would help if I talk to her, I would if they tell me to. That's it! I think even George was uncomfortable. :doh:

Either he is too afraid of what he really might say ie he is really angry and doesn't want to tip her further over the edge(making her reluctant to admit what she has done). Or he has been coached by someone to not push her too hard.

 

[Adrienne37]

I think he's absolutely terrified that if he says too much or something wrong, she will kill herself. This woman has ruined all of their lives.

 

[jash]

With respect to the luggage in that photo on Flickr, I believe it may belong to JB's father. I imagine he came to visit (from the Ukraine?) and because of JB's cleaning issues (and maybe lack of room in her apartment), they all stayed at a nearby hotel to spend time together.

I've identified the room and pool as being in the Hotel Sierra Redmond (http://www.tripadvisor.ca/Hotel_Rev...-Hotel_Sierra_Redmond-Redmond_Washington.html)

 

[belimom]

Either he is too afraid of what he really might say ie he is really angry and doesn't want to tip her further over the edge(making her reluctant to admit what she has done). Or he has been coached by someone to not push her too hard.

Combine that with the allegations she made about him, and I think he is trying extra hard to stay calm and not add fuel to the fire.

I feel very sorry for him...

 

[kiwijayne]

Combine that with the allegations she made about him, and I think he is trying extra hard to stay calm and not add fuel to the fire.

I feel very sorry for him...

Agrees. She has all the power here she knows what has happened(as most people are sure of that)and she knows that is probably eating him up.

 

[Disguiseduser0308]

I do have another question for those of you with more knowledge and/or experience.. I have a family member who is very consumed with ritualistic OCD but very much functions and is in fact a psychologist herself(we always tell her she went in the profession with the intention of curing herself).. But I must say as bad as I thought that I'd seen or witnessed with her OCD that at different points in her life have been a hindrance to her.. I must say that as far as I know her OCD does not include The "intrusive thoughts" specifically thoughts of doing harm to others that some with OCD have discussed.. Before Julia's extensive OCD had come out we had a member posting here with us that was being very open and honest with us about her own personal experience with specifically the "intrusive thoughts".. This was greatly appreciated and as I said was prior to Julia's intrusive thoughts and dreams of harming her kids, specifically strangling Sky came to light.. In hearing about Julia having these thoughts of strangling Sky and his now having disappeared.. Well.. To many that definitely seemed to be a possible alert that should have been acted on as a precursor leading to her harming Sky.. I, too would have felt similarly that this was a precursor to her harming one of her children..

But what mAkes me question the accuracy or validity to that was something the member shared in her personal experiences of having intrusive thoughts of harming her daughter..
Below is the post better explaining than me.. I just wondered what is known about these OCD intrusive thoughts specifically of them continually in relation to harming or killing your own child.. Is there any connection or is it like is explained below.. I'm very confused at the moment about the issue so any input or answers would be greatly appreciated.. Here's the post:

I am certainly no expert and can only relay my own experiences with intrusive thoughts. In my case IT's were directly related to postpartum psychosis following the birth of my daughter. I had them following my son's birth but didn't appreciate the severity of what that meant at the time. I was diagnosed PPD with my son. With my daughter I went into full blown PPP.

I would seriously question JB's mental health status following the birth of both of her children. If she was already struggling with OCD or other mental illnesses, the postpartum period can heighten any underlying mental illness.

JMO.

ETA: My IT's were always related to hurting my children or myself. Forgot to add that.

 

[Cubby]

With respect to the luggage in that photo on Flickr, I believe it may belong to JB's father. I imagine he came to visit (from the Ukraine?) and because of JB's cleaning issues (and maybe lack of room in her apartment), they all stayed at a nearby hotel to spend time together.

I've identified the room and pool as being in the Hotel Sierra Redmond (http://www.tripadvisor.ca/Hotel_Rev...-Hotel_Sierra_Redmond-Redmond_Washington.html)

Welcome to WS jash!

:welcome:

 

[claudicici]

I think he's absolutely terrified that if he says too much or something wrong, she will kill herself. This woman has ruined all of their lives.

I agree,he also seems a little slow and very helpless to me.He was acting the same way in the "exchange from hell" blog.Not able to know what to do or say and here just like then he talks about prayer so I think he puts a lot of weight in faith but otherwise feels helpless.I also think he completely tries to block out the possibility that Sky is dead that's why he rather says "I don't know" because it would be too hard to voice his true suspicions.
I also heard a lot of pain in his voice when he repeated three times "no" he has not talked to his little girl.

 

[Marah]

Is it possible the dad is making this all up, regarding her OCD etc?

 

[peeples]

Is it possible the dad is making this all up, regarding her OCD etc?

I don't think so.. MOO