WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 7

[kiwijayne]

More than just awkward IMO. He is in an almost impossible position.

He is, in a sense, acting as a hostage negotiator with a psycho who hates him -- and doing so with the eyes of the world watching.

Exactly he is in a lose-lose situation. He says the wrong thing she never tells where Sky is or if he says the wrong thing she may hurt herself and again noone will know where Sky is.

 

[kiwijayne]

Saw this in the morning:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/45285499#45285499

I could not figure out why the father is smiling and happy. So, now everyone thinks this is all because of a Law and Order SVU show?!

When nervous some people smile and appear to be happy when not.

 

[ClassyT]

In a way I think the system failed them but if you look at it the way we all dad first going into it, it looks like they are just making wild accusations on each other back and forth with 5150s and abuse allegations. Sadly, its really common in family law. My ex-husband did it to us. He told CPS we "padlocked" our fridge. He made the report two days after he was served with custody modification papers. CPS came and checked it out. I was hysterical because I couldnt believe my sons dad could do something like that. She learned I didn't padlock the fridge, it was a child safety lock to keep my younger 2 year old out and safe. The case worker asked my 7 year old son "Well can you open it?" He said "Of course! Look!". I have a child safety issue. She also saw baby gates, a sensor on my sliding glass door and cabinet locks. When we sat down to talk I asked if it was my son's dad did the report. She said she couldnt say. I handed her our modification and she looked at the filing dates and date the call to CPS was made. Two days. He may have actually been served on the same day as he called. It was closed and UNFOUNDED. He was also warned that its a crime to make false allegations. But...it gets better...because my current husband is in the military NCIS ALSO had to investigate. It was also unfounded. But a huge stress on us all and that made my exhusband happy.

My point is, to the court it just looks like a bitter family fighting over kids like maniacs. It sucks and its not always the system. Its human nature. People get vile in these cases. I have a feeling there was something more to SMs involvement and I think it might be money or she perceived it that way at least. No one is perfect.

 

[Cubby]

“But we understand that she’s traumatized by this and devastated by the loss of her son,” he said. “We’re hopeful that if she can gather herself we can have that conversation that we need to have.”

http://www.nwcn.com/home/?fId=133807223&fPath=/news/local&fDomain=10212

Anyone beside me amazed at the level of coddling mom is getting?

I don't care how traumatized she is, this is a 25 month old child we're talking about here and mom can't get her head out of her hiney to assist with the investigation? :furious:

 

[ClassyT]

Well, she was clearly not so ill that she couldn't break her OCD cycles with her attempts to prove dad wrong. There goes the insanity defense.

jmo

I think it was control. She seemed to be most symptomatic when she felt she has least control. I know I feel much more anxious when I cant control my environment. Shes not crazy, shes quirky.

 

[MizStery]

We have to remember this declaration is one sided. We don't have her version. I realize Sky "disappeared" in her care and I do believe she had some mental issues but the pictures we've seen of the children don't show any form of abuse (malnourished, filthy, bruised, etc). We've seen them in bathing suits and I don't see bruising . That's not to say she didn't harm Sky. IDK. I keep hoping she's hiding him.

What I'd like to know, if all he says is true, how in the world did she get custody?

This is from the exchange from hell:
When I am reading a retelling of an event I usually think there has to be a
kernel of truth and the person could be fabricating around that. My son around the same age as M said a man who he would come into contact with was "mean" to him. I never was able to piece together why my three & half year old said that. (but i made darn sure that there was never a chance he would be alone with him again) I am not disputing M was coached but the
statement in that recording where M claimed Armard was mean to her does worry me. Now,I know your going to say M was coached but I wonder if that raised a doubt to the state.

Julia: “And she also says Armand is very, very mean to her, you know. He
hurts her and that’s probably not the best thing for a little girl like M.”

Not to put too fine of a point on this but I wonder if that could have weighed in the courts
decision. I am thinking there had to be something that raised a red flag to the court and they gave her custody.
MOO
Do we know who Armand is? Is this a child or a man?

 

[CountryGirl]

I read the father's court statement last night. Was he still going over to feed the children right up until Sky disappeared? Neither child looked like they weren't being fed. Were all the pictures with food staged? His description of JB's behavior made her seem so out of control, how could she even make it to the mediation?

Something doesn't add up --- most especially the mother's story of Sky's disappearance. Running out of gas and leaving your baby in the car. This is one strange case.

 

[ClassyT]

“But we understand that she’s traumatized by this and devastated by the loss of her son,” he said. “We’re hopeful that if she can gather herself we can have that conversation that we need to have.”

http://www.nwcn.com/home/?fId=133807223&fPath=/news/local&fDomain=10212

Anyone beside me amazed at the level of coddling mom is getting?

I don't care how traumatized she is, this is a 25 month old child we're talking about here and mom can't get her head out of her hiney to assist with the investigation? :furious:

You would think that the devastation would be somewhat alleviated by participating in the search or help in some way. (As an innocent anyway) because sitting at home not knowing is madness. I would want to be as close to all tips and information coming in to find him. Its not a lost set of car keys....its a baby. Im giving myself a panic attack just thinking about it.

 

[SurfieTX]

This is from the exchange from hell:

When I am reading a retelling of an event I usually think there has to be a
kernel of truth and the person could be fabricating around that. My son around the same age as M said a man who he would come into contact with was "mean" to him. I never was able to piece together why my three & half year old said that. (but i made darn sure that there was never a chance he would be alone with him again) I am not disputing M was coached but the statement in that recording where M claimed Armard was mean to her does worry me. Now,I know your going to say was coached but I wonder if that raised a doubt.

Julia: “And she also says Armand is very, very mean to her, you know. He
hurts her and that’s probably not the best thing for a little girl like M.”

Not to put too fine of a point on this but I wonder if that could have weighted in the courts
decision. I am thinking there had to be something that raised a red flag to the court and they gave her custody.
MOO
Do we know who Armand is? Is this a child or a man?

From what I can tell, he appears to be a child (a cousin maybe?). If I had to guess, he's about 4-6 years older than M.

 

[JeannaT]

“But we understand that she’s traumatized by this and devastated by the loss of her son,” he said. “We’re hopeful that if she can gather herself we can have that conversation that we need to have.”

http://www.nwcn.com/home/?fId=133807223&fPath=/news/local&fDomain=10212

Anyone beside me amazed at the level of coddling mom is getting?

I don't care how traumatized she is, this is a 25 month old child we're talking about here and mom can't get her head out of her hiney to assist with the investigation? :furious:

My ears pricked up when the officer mentioned he had been in contact with outside LE in a "similar case" but wouldn't go into specifics. My guess is, they've been talking to St. Louis PD. My guess is, Bellevue isn't about to make the same horrible blunder of completely alienating the witness to the point that anonymous benefactors rush to her aid and provide top notch legal counsel to keep her from being harassed.

I think they want to keep lines between LE and Julia as open as they possibly can.

 

[ClassyT]

I read the father's court statement last night. Was he still going over to feed the children right up until Sky disappeared? Neither child looked like they weren't being fed. Were all the pictures with food staged? His description of JB's behavior made her seem so out of control, how could she even make it to the mediation?

Something doesn't add up --- most especially the mother's story of Sky's disappearance. Running out of gas and leaving your baby in the car. This is one strange case.

Her OCD was managed at this point I think. I think her BPD was more apparent in the days leading up to her son's disappearance. Nothing she did in that time period made sense. It was the primary condition, IMO.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

Agreed. Mine is a predisposition combined with the fact that I did not feel safe as a child. I was raised by addicts. I was left as the primary caregiver for my younger siblings for days as early as 8. The fear they would get hurt evolved. I know how I got it, I know its weird and irrational and it still happens.

Thanks, ClassyT! It actually helps to know others suffer, too!
But I totally feel for you.
It can be exhausting, frustrating, and at times, debilitating.

 

[SurfieTX]

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2011/11/skys-father-says-disappearance-linked-to-custody-dispute/

Police also say Biryukova never bought gas at the Northtowne Chevron Service she and her daughter walked to on Sunday but, instead, spent time walking around a wealthy neighborhood where she reportedly didn’t ask anyone for help.

:waitasec: Is this new info. or just mis-reporting?

 

[rachelslaw]

You would think that the devastation would be somewhat alleviated by participating in the search or help in some way. (As an innocent anyway) because sitting at home not knowing is madness. I would want to be as close to all tips and information coming in to find him. Its not a lost set of car keys....its a baby. Im giving myself a panic attack just thinking about it.

That would be correct - for an "innocent" who did not know what happened to their now missing child. However, it's entirely possible and most likely that she knows exactly what happened to Sky and where he is now, and she is not saying. Most "innocent" people would be involved in the search efforts. This particular mother is not because, in my opinion, she already knows.

And yes, most mothers would be having a panic attack at the thought of a missing child. Her story never made much sense to begin which suggests that she made it up. How much of the story is made up is still up in the air, since we know that her car did have gas and was functioning properly. I'm just not convinced that Sky was even in the vehicle that day.

IMO

 

[nursebeeme]

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_...or-tips-on-washington-toddlers-disappearance/

 

[nursebeeme]

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2011/11/skys-father-says-disappearance-linked-to-custody-dispute/



:waitasec: Is this new info. or just mis-reporting?

she was "gone" for an hour (heck... I could carry three kids quicker than that back and forth)


iirc she also told investigators no one was around to help her (or something to that effect)... :twocents:


eta: hey surfie: I further think the reporter "embelished" a little bit ;-)

 

[belimom]

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2011/11/skys-father-says-disappearance-linked-to-custody-dispute/



:waitasec: Is this new info. or just mis-reporting?

I think I saw that elsewhere as well - that she never bought gas.

 

[Cubby]

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlin...says-disappearance-linked-to-custody-dispute/



:waitasec: Is this new info. or just mis-reporting?

I don't see how you mean, or what you mean by mis-reporting. The gas station attendent told LE she did not purchase any gas and that she only called her friend for help from the gas station.

Also, the neighborhood she walked through on her route to the gas station was a wealthy one, and mom did not stop to ask anyone for help in a 'safe' neighborhood.

That is how I am interpreting the statement and imo it coincides with what we previously learnt.

jmo

 

[hollyblue]

I am certainly no expert and can only relay my own experiences with intrusive thoughts. In my case IT's were directly related to postpartum psychosis following the birth of my daughter. I had them following my son's birth but didn't appreciate the severity of what that meant at the time. I was diagnosed PPD with my son. With my daughter I went into full blown PPP.

I would seriously question JB's mental health status following the birth of both of her children. If she was already struggling with OCD or other mental illnesses, the postpartum period can heighten any underlying mental illness.

JMO.

ETA: My IT's were always related to hurting my children or myself. Forgot to add that.

TY for your input. Seems everything escalated and started after the birth of MM. I'm just wondering if she truly wanted any of the children for the "right" reasons, just to placate SM or to manipulate their lives more so.

I'm truly stymied how much he apparently tolerated, and it's much more than I would have put up with. Too bad he didn't nip it in the bud, take MM, and file for divorce to force her to come out then, but he was young (and many of us endure unpleasant situations much too long.:innocent. Everything just kept escalating. I'm also at really at odds with Sky's conception, not planned, etc. Don't know what was going on there. ?? Since her odd behaviors were progressing, I'm wondering if Sky was to be her excuse to not return to work ...and leave her to enmeshed herself in the OCD and further control?

Someone in the last thread mentioned his lawyer was wanting to work out some of the things that the last poly revealed (Paraphrasing) so I'm guessing he did not pass with flying colors. I missed that info, and if anyone has a link to the article or video, I'd very much appreciate a link to review. TIA Just me, I don't doubt this man put up with a lot, but can't help thinking there is more to this. His demeanor, to me, is different when in the company of his lawyer. He's quite the people person, imo. I have no doubt JB is responsible for his disappearance, but how it all came about is what I'm :banghead:.

**Has it been said if the keys were left in the car?

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

BBM

There are also page limits in what you can present in King County (and neighboring counties as well). Unless the items qualify for submission under seal, there is a set limit of what you can present to the court.

His declaration was so lengthy, there was no room for supporting declarations.

It's ridiculous. I know this was done to ensure the commissioner or judge can actually read all the material, but complicated cases such as this require a lot of documentation, and the limits kill on this.

ETA This is the official rule from King County Superior Court's site:

Thank you, GingerRed!
I am so appreciative of the all the professionals in WS who share their expertise. It certainly helps me to get a better understanding of the cases...an understanding that would be hard for me to obtain on my own!
Sincerely,
IHAVENOCLUE