Normally my private life remains just that private. This weekend though one of the most caring, nuturing, loving people in the world passed away.
Her moto throughout life was "treat people the way you wish to be treated" and her main perspective on life was that it is always very easy to judge others but few take the time to realize what the ramifications those judgements may have on others. She often said never think that you are better than those whom you have passed those judgments on and if you think you are then it is time to take a good look inside yourself.
My aunt on the other hand is simply one of those people who believes that she has the god given right. In her very self centered, self righteous, and quite pompous belief of herself (she attends church every Sunday) she passed judgement on me when my partner arrived at the hospital, hugged me and gave me a kiss, not in a sexual way, but to simply express that he was here to help and confort.
If it had not been so sad to watch and hear, my aunt created chaos over her perception that what my partner did was inappropriate. My uncle quickly escorted her from the room and yup I was beyond furious. In my normally decisive way, I went to the hallway and informed her in no uncertain terms that she would not be welcome at the funeral and asked the staff to have her removed from the hospital.
Upon reflection, my step mothers words came back and I realized my "decision" was wrong. I called my aunt up and told her that in my company she was never to pass judgement on any person. She would be welcome at the funeral if those conditions were adhered to and her response was to hang up. I hope that I can live up to the legacy of my step mother whom I came to love and respect greatly. For my aunt I hope and pray that she takes the time to look within herself as I do not believe if she took the time to look in the mirror she would like whom or what she has become. Needless to say my uncle and cousins were upset with her behaviour. I smiled and said hey lets head back to my home as I know she is smiling down on us all.
There is a moral to this. Some will understand it and others with find offense with it. Some may simply dismiss it. I did though find it ironic how the very incident that had just happened to me was being discussed.