Was Burke involved?

[ScarlettScarpetta]

I have a 10, 12 and 14 year old. My children showed more concern, fear and interest when one of our family chickens went missing recently.

My husband had let our 5 chickens out of their coop to free range in the yard for a few hours- and when he went to put them away- there were only four.

I don't need to be a seasoned detective, police officer or FBI agent to know how children act when someone or something they love goes missing, is kidnapped or worse.

We have no idea how he acted or how he grieved. People all react differently. When My grandfather died when we were young, I bawled for days. My brothers did it differently. One cried that day and then nothing.. He brooded.. was just sad for months. The other did not cry right away it took him months to process and grieve.

Grieving is personal. I don't think it is ever fair to look at a 9 yr old, Whose had to deal with his mother's illness and his sisters violent horrid death and judge.
JMO

 

[Frigga]

My initial post was not about grieving- at all. It was about how they behaved when a chicken was missing and the chicken's fate was unknown.

 

[Frigga]

At the point of Burkes interview (I posted above) it was not known yet (because Burke NEVER ASKED) what had happened to his MISSING sister.

That is a BIG difference. IMOO

 

[Frigga]

ETA All three of my children have very different temperaments- one is emotional and very sensitive; one is pragmatic, logical (although very intuitive) and not prone to emotional reactions; the third is stoic and appears detatched emotionally (she discects insects at school without a second thought, skins and filets her own fish, and will probably hunt with my husband someday) each one of them showed outward signs of fear, agitation, concern and confusion in reaction to their missing hen.


When the hen was later found dead in a neighbors yard they all cried and showed signs of grief, sadness, anger or frustration.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

At the point of Burkes interview (I posted above) it was not known yet (because Burke NEVER ASKED) what had happened to his MISSING sister.

That is a BIG difference. IMOO

We have no idea what he knew or did not know. Sorry.

ETA All three of my children have very different temperaments- one is emotional and very sensitive; one is pragmatic, logical (although very intuitive) and not prone to emotional reactions; the third is stoic and appears detatched emotionally (she discects insects at school without a second thought, skins and filets her own fish, and will probably hunt with my husband someday) each one of them showed outward signs of fear, agitation, concern and confusion.


When the hen was later found dead in a neighbors yard they all cried and showed signs of grief, sadness, anger or frustration.

That is not all kids. All kids can react differently to stress and fear and sorrow. IMO

 

[Frigga]

Anyone else here have children?

BDI, IDI, RDI et all.

Do you feel Burke's lack of interest, fear, agitation or concern for his missing sister would be normal from a sibling?

Honestly- if your child/children were in similar circumstances to Burke?

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

I think the only way to know how someone grieves is to be with them 100% of the time.
Kids can be shy and reserved, even in grief. Just does not seem right to judge someone else's grieving process to me. Especially a 9 yr old little boy.

JMO

 

[Frigga]

Your sister is kidnapped, out of your home, from a bedroom- near your own.

You show no outward signs of fear or concern... even for yourself or your own safety.

Interesting.

 

[Frigga]

The recent So Cal earthquake(s) shook our house hard , Saturday night. We had all just recently gone to bed after a Frozen party at our next door neighbors. 'Frozen'- the movie for the kids, along with cake and 'Frozen' ice cream... and 'Frozen' drinks for the adults.

The kids were all pretty freaked, it was really the first 'big one' any of them have felt. We all made our way out front- as did everyone of our neighbors on our street.

My tough, strong, stoic daughter was afraid, really, truly afraid. She slept on the floor of our room. She was afraid... for herself.

 

[bettybaby00]

Anyone else here have children?

BDI, IDI, RDI et all.

Do you feel Burke's lack of interest, fear, agitation or concern for his missing sister would be normal from a sibling?

Honestly- if your child/children were in similar circumstances to Burke?

No way is it normal. Not when you see his disinterest carry through past the funeral, and into the psych visit.

I get that a kid doesn't have to get hysterical in order to show emotion, but he isn't even curious about what's happening. Think about what that scene would have been like that morning....cops, family friends, the pastor, CSI people, victim advocates...and he "wakes up" and has no questions? Has no fear? Nope, I'll just go grab my Nintendo and go.

 

[bettybaby00]

Kolar, the guy who had a book to sell and wanted to hook a salacious new angle and also shows NO EVIDENCE in the entire book. Gotta love those money driven hinky meters. cheers all I'm out

Way off base.

 

[Linda7NJ]

We have no idea what he knew or did not know. Sorry.







That is not all kids. All kids can react differently to stress and fear and sorrow. IMO

I think it's very concerning if a child shows zero empathy, care or concern in this situation.
This behavior wasn't transient. Can't be explained by the initial shock. It was persistent.

Kid sure stated he had secrets and he was not willing to share them.

He also expressed zero fear. Not normal.

All IMO


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Your sister is kidnapped, out of your home, from a bedroom- near your own.

You show no outward signs of fear or concern... even for yourself or your own safety.

Interesting.

I don't think that is the case. I think it is about how you process it. How do you know he was not afraid? Just because you don't show it does not mean you don't feel it.


The earthquake thing is scary!!! We had one on the east coast a few summers ago and It freaked us all out.
WE had a FROZEN party too last weekend.. LOVE it!

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

I think it's very concerning if a child shows zero empathy, care or concern in this situation.
This behavior wasn't transient. Can't be explained by the initial shock. It was persistent.

Kid sure stated he had secrets and he was not willing to share them.

He also expressed zero fear. Not normal.

All IMO


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

IT could just be shock. Absolute shock.

Well ,I will bow out because I think it is completely unfair to judge any 9 yr old. For any reason.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Does anyone remember reading about the mother of Burkes best school friend's child? They flew with the Ramsey's and mom took on the role of sitter for both boys during the funeral. He was brought along to occupy Burke.

The mother witnessed a conversation between the two boys, Burke and her son, discussing strangulation as if it were a new video game.
This upset her do much she shared it with another of the Ramsey's friends. Iirc it was the Fernies.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Frigga]

I don't think that is the case. I think it is about how you process it. How do you know he was not afraid? Just because you don't show it does not mean you don't feel it.


The earthquake thing is scary!!! We had one on the east coast a few summers ago and It freaked us all out.
WE had a FROZEN party too last weekend.. LOVE it!

How about showing interest or concern for your missing or murdered sibling?

James Kolar viewed the tape and transcript of the actual interview.

 

[Linda7NJ]

IT could just be shock. Absolute shock.



Well ,I will bow out because I think it is completely unfair to judge any 9 yr old. For any reason.

Ah! Thank you for your honesty and admitting you refuse to even consider the possibility.
I find that a refreshing breath of air!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Frigga]

I think any parent knows not to evaluate and judge a child based on what you see in the media and that you obviously have never gone through the loss of a child in a family or you wouldn't be comparing the death of a child to a missing chicken.

My husbands brother was killed in a tragic accident when he was 17 years old. His parents talk about their loss all the time. My husband never does, it's too depressing for him to consider the loneliness and missing part of himself. It makes even joys and triumphs in his life poignant reminders of what could have been.

The only way to heal is to move on.

BBM- I don't even know what to say to this... exactly.

My point was missed entirely.

I give up.

 

[Frigga]

I wouldn't normally consider shock when thinking about a kid being questioned by police while horking down a sandwhich and telling the detective how excited he is about a trip to Charlevoix. And starting a fire.

 

[Chewy]

BBM- I don't even know what to say to this... exactly.

My point was missed entirely.

I give up.

Have you? My point is that you wouldn't even be asking this if you understood the reality of such a shock as opposed to a theory of what it should be like. When the idea of something is a threat it scares you, when the reality of it happens you are drowning in it.

Good example

Someone scared in the water with a fear of drowning screams and thrashes. Someone who actually drowns struggles silently beneathe the surface and can't move. Comparing your own children outside of trauma to child in the middle of one is unfair.