Why doesn't CPS take away the minor children?

[CHICANA]

bbm

I have a lot to say on the subject of "family beds" as well, and I think the current research would say that allowing young children to sleep with their parents is NOT improper parenting. Most human cultures consider it completely normal and expected. But I don't want to go all OT.

For the first several months or so they slept in a bassinet right next to me, I mean touching the edge of my bed. When they were too big for that, and mobile enough that I wasn't afraid I'd roll over and suffocate them they slept with us. My youngest are only 1-1/2 yrs apart so we had two sleeping with us. My best friend's baby died of SIDS at 4 months and that funeral was the worst experience of my life, I wanted my babies close. I don't think I slept soundly the first six months after they were born.
I'll get back on topic now...

 

[linda505]

I think CPS is not taking the boys because they do not think the boys are currently in any danger and that removing them would do more harm than good. Just think - these poor little guys believe that someone took their sister and now imagine if someone came and "took" them. Unbelievably tramatic for them.

 

[melissasmom]

I'm not caught up on this thread but wanted to ask, out of curiosity, do you feel as though you and your 4 siblings should have been removed from the home?

I snipped this for space reasons.

I guess myself personally, no, I definitely do not feel that we should have been removed from our home. I know some people would be aghast at that as my father was pretty much drunk about 50% of the time he was not at work. But I have always felt that my childhood was fine, alcoholic father aside. He wasnt like a mean drunk or anything, and my siblings and I had SO much fun with our dad. He was a good dad-he played games with us, took us places, actually talked to us about our hopes and dreams, etc. Yes I do recall a few times that he passed out, but Im pretty sure that my mom was home those times. No he shouldnt have been drinking so much, but I have nothing but good memories of my daddy. I think we would have been traumatized if we had been taken away.

I am SO sorry about your experience. I have been to some ACOA meetings with my mom(her father was also an alcoholic)and yes, substance abuse can destroy families, and does every day. It is heatbreaking. I have heard too many stories similar to yours. People in that state should not be caring for children.

I just think that unless we know all the details of how much DB drinks, does she leave the children unattended, have black outs, etc., I don't think it is for us to say that those children do not belong with their parents.

 

[4Jacy]

Why would they step in and take the children away .Just because the parents aren't talking to the police and your frustrated thats why u take children away from the parents now adays .Everyone is feeling the same way we wanna bring lisa home but as of right now the parents have not done anything wrong to have them taken from them is she not allowed to have a few drinks on the patio . why not take the neibhours kids away too she was on the deck with her drinking that night how do we know her husband doesn't work a night shift job and her kids were also home alone god forbid she were to have a few drinks on a patio . What a joke. and not funny haha kinda joke either .

Because DB is Lisa's mother, because DB is the adult, because DB should be responsible for all children in her care. Because DB didn't check on that baby since 6:30 PM.

 

[colie077]

:twocents:I know each state is different but where I live (TX), there was a situation recently with my step son's mom and step dad where someone told CPS that they were possibly selling prescription drugs out of there home, and they took both the boys away. They are now with us. My point is, CPS didn't have to prove anything, there was never any proof that they were actually doing what they were accused of at all and they still took them, and fast at that.

 

[Deleted member 39678]

:twocents:I know each state is different but where I live (TX), there was a situation recently with my step son's mom and step dad where someone told CPS that they were possibly selling prescription drugs out of there home, and they took both the boys away. They are now with us. My point is, CPS didn't have to prove anything, there was never any proof that they were actually doing what they were accused of at all and they still took them, and fast at that.

Wow. That's scary. So if someone calls CPS and says your doing something illegal, they will come and take the children from you also? Seems like if someone has it out for a particular family they can cause all sorts of grief.

 

[colie077]

Wow. That's scary. So if someone calls CPS and says your doing something illegal, they will come and take the children from you also? Seems like if someone has it out for a particular family they can cause all sorts of grief.

I can only speak for our certain situation, but yes, that is what happened. They actually think that an estranged friend of hers is the one that called. I don't know if they were doing anything or not, I would like to think not. But, we ended up with the boys and have had them for 1 year. Of course, when we ended up in court a few more things had happened with the mom by then.

 

[TorisMom003]

A few things that I have seen mentioned in this thread that I feel should be cleared up and not be viewed as fact since we do not know if they are fact or not.

1. We only have JIs word that the lights were left on and the front door left unlocked that night when he came home.

2. We do not know if DB blacked out or not that night as she has said that it is possible, not that it did happen.

3. DB was drinking that night (for those that insist, she said she was drunk) and had expected JI to be home around 10:30 pm, instead he works later and doesn't make it home until around 3:30 almost 4 am. DB could have expected the children's other parent to be home alot earlier than he was and therefor she saw nothing wrong with drinking some wine with a friend. This does not excuse her actions but IMO they are not prison worthy nor are they worthy of having her other child taken away.

I also would ask a question for anyone that has major problems with DBs actions that night. Has anyone ever gone out to a party or a club for say New Year's Eve while their children were at home with a sitter? What happened when arriving home? Did the sitter stay the night to take care of the children? Did the sitter go home and leave the parents, that had been drinking, to take care of their own children? Is this action more honorable or right than what DB did?

Personally I am very thankful that CPS or whatever the intials are in each state do not have the power to just remove children from a home without proof of neglect or abuse. If they were able to then many, many parents would loose their children. The boys are with their parents and will only be removed if and when CPS feels a need to do so. For the public to make demands that the children be removed in this situation, one that we do not have all of the facts, is akin to a witch hunt IMO and thank goodness that I am not in the public eye so that perfect strangers can judge me on my parenting skills and decide that I am a parent who needs to have my children taken away from me.

MOO

 

[EllaMae]

A few things that I have seen mentioned in this thread that I feel should be cleared up and not be viewed as fact since we do not know if they are fact or not.

1. We only have JIs word that the lights were left on and the front door left unlocked that night when he came home.

2. We do not know if DB blacked out or not that night as she has said that it is possible, not that it did happen.

3. DB was drinking that night (for those that insist, she said she was drunk) and had expected JI to be home around 10:30 pm, instead he works later and doesn't make it home until around 3:30 almost 4 am. DB could have expected the children's other parent to be home alot earlier than he was and therefor she saw nothing wrong with drinking some wine with a friend. This does not excuse her actions but IMO they are not prison worthy nor are they worthy of having her other child taken away.

I also would ask a question for anyone that has major problems with DBs actions that night. Has anyone ever gone out to a party or a club for say New Year's Eve while their children were at home with a sitter? What happened when arriving home? Did the sitter stay the night to take care of the children? Did the sitter go home and leave the parents, that had been drinking, to take care of their own children? Is this action more honorable or right than what DB did?

Personally I am very thankful that CPS or whatever the intials are in each state do not have the power to just remove children from a home without proof of neglect or abuse. If they were able to then many, many parents would loose their children. The boys are with their parents and will only be removed if and when CPS feels a need to do so. For the public to make demands that the children be removed in this situation, one that we do not have all of the facts, is akin to a witch hunt IMO and thank goodness that I am not in the public eye so that perfect strangers can judge me on my parenting skills and decide that I am a parent who needs to have my children taken away from me.

MOO

I agree 100%. There is a little bit of a lynch mob mentality going on based on a lot of rumors and unproven tidbits being repeated as facts.

I think this thread is very premature. The boys are in no danger, and they don't need any more upheaval in their lives than they have experienced already.

 

[EllaMae]

I would think, I would hope, that the bio dad of DB's son would be attempting to get custody. But, that's in my perfect world fantasy where all parents love and care for their children....

Since the bio Dad is deployed.....that might be a little hard to do.

And just because SB is serving his country, it does not mean he does not love his son. That's a very unfair statement to make, and it's a little insulting to those who serve in Iraq and Afghanistan, and other hot spots around the world. Military parents can love their children as much as civilian parents, even when deployed.

 

[deoneta]

I can't speak to CPS being overwhelmed with a huge workload, of dealing with situations much more dire than a parent drinking to excess, the lack of suitable foster homes or the snares of red tape an investigation or removal might entail. I don't have that information although I suspect that if MO is like most states, all of that might factor in. I do know that nobody liked to party more than my husband and me. When I was ready to have a baby, all that stopped. We were both terrified that our little girl would get sick, need to be rushed to the hospital, a fire could break out, a break in could occur, and we wanted to be alert to any signs of illness, prepared to drive her to the ER or react quickly and intelligently to any accident or emergency. Our daughter is twenty now and we still feel the same. What if she ends up with someone who's too impaired to drive or gets pressured to do something she doesn't want to do and has no way home, or has car trouble and is stranded on the side of the road somewhere? Maybe we are obsessive, and I guess am guilty of being judgemental, but I think getting black out drunk when you are the sole caretaker of three small children is irresponsible and neglectful no matter how common it may be or how long the odds are that an emergency situation will arise. All MOO.

 

[Cheewawa007]

A few things that I have seen mentioned in this thread that I feel should be cleared up and not be viewed as fact since we do not know if they are fact or not.

1. We only have JIs word that the lights were left on and the front door left unlocked that night when he came home.

2. We do not know if DB blacked out or not that night as she has said that it is possible, not that it did happen.

3. DB was drinking that night (for those that insist, she said she was drunk) and had expected JI to be home around 10:30 pm, instead he works later and doesn't make it home until around 3:30 almost 4 am. DB could have expected the children's other parent to be home alot earlier than he was and therefor she saw nothing wrong with drinking some wine with a friend. This does not excuse her actions but IMO they are not prison worthy nor are they worthy of having her other child taken away.

I also would ask a question for anyone that has major problems with DBs actions that night. Has anyone ever gone out to a party or a club for say New Year's Eve while their children were at home with a sitter? What happened when arriving home? Did the sitter stay the night to take care of the children? Did the sitter go home and leave the parents, that had been drinking, to take care of their own children? Is this action more honorable or right than what DB did?

Personally I am very thankful that CPS or whatever the intials are in each state do not have the power to just remove children from a home without proof of neglect or abuse. If they were able to then many, many parents would loose their children. The boys are with their parents and will only be removed if and when CPS feels a need to do so. For the public to make demands that the children be removed in this situation, one that we do not have all of the facts, is akin to a witch hunt IMO and thank goodness that I am not in the public eye so that perfect strangers can judge me on my parenting skills and decide that I am a parent who needs to have my children taken away from me.

MOO

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!:rocker::rocker:

 

[belleyes]

This subject is very near and dear to my heart. I speak MOO as a previous caseworker (contracted by CPS to provide in-home services), and now as a foster/adoptive mom. The following is from MY experience in MY state. Every state is different and even county to county is different but some regs. are universal....

1. CPS does not have the same burden of proof as the criminal system. (what might not be a criminal act does not mean it is not a child abuse/neglect case. Cases that are also criminal are referred to as "aggrivated circumstances"--not good for parents in family court)

2. They do have to have a court order to remove children. They cannot just walk in and remove without due cause. In an emergency the court order is temporary (72hrs IIRC) until a judge sees the case and hears the evidence. LE can take custody until a court order is obtained if needed CPS cannot. CPS will tell you to call LE if a child is in immediate risk and then LE will take custody and call CPS

3. An investigation ALWAYS takes place no matter how CPS got involved with the family.(ex: LE, report from school, or private citizen)

4. When a report is made to CPS the report is ranked according to the severity of abuse/neglect, and the vulnerability of the victim. (ie: a baby being shaken vs a teenager being shaken with the same force: baby ranks higher)

5. Certain time frames are then applied to determine when a C.W. MUST see the child named in the accusation (anywhere from immediately for major bodily harm to 60days--or not at all if the report is inaccurate or lacks enough info to investigate)

6. Many, Many times a case can be opened without a child being removed. CPS helps and monitors the family. (example of services: parenting classes, D&A eval, Family Therapy, Food Bank referrals, job training, bus passes to get to appt. etc)

7. Removal is the last resort not first. When removal is required the family is asked to give names of anyone they feel would be able to care for the child so they do not have to enter foster care. CPS then contacts that individual/s and does criminal/child abuse clearances on anyone living in the perspective house. If cleared the child goes with that family member (more to it but you get the idea). If the accused refuses to name any family members (this happens out of spite) or the family is too dysfunctional themselves then the child is places in foster care.

8. After placement the parent is given a detailed plan of what is expected of them.(aka a "plan") Every 6 months a judge reviews the progress of the parent and the need for the child to stay in care.

I hope this helps clarify a little.
CASEWORKERS: I'm a little rusty with the CW side, so please correct me if I am wrong, (regs and laws change so often)

 

[Ora Macc]

Since the mom stated she was drunk the night Lisa disappeared and the mom admitted she may be could have passed out or blacked out, doesn't that send the message to LE that the mom isn't the one who should be caring for the other children?

 

[Straitfan]

As a person in the middle of a CPS case with temporary custody of my grandbaby, I can say I was in for a very rude awaken as what is required to remove a child and how easily they are returned...It is NOTHING like I nor most "think" it should be... CPS is just a government office, with guidelines, ie is there a bed, food....nothing else... I could go on forever about what I have learned... it is very sad... CPS would not take children if she was drunk everyday in her home..Now if she was "caught" driving drunk with kids, maybe... Normal people do not see it like CPS does, a child has to be practically dead for any action to be taken.

 

[Ora Macc]

As a person in the middle of a CPS case with temporary custody of my grandbaby, I can say I was in for a very rude awaken as what is required to remove a child and how easily they are returned...It is NOTHING like I nor most "think" it should be... CPS is just a government office, with guidelines, ie is there a bed, food....nothing else... I could go on forever about what I have learned... it is very sad... CPS would not take children if she was drunk everyday in her home..Now if she was "caught" driving drunk with kids, maybe... Normal people do not see it like CPS does, a child has to be practically dead for any action to be taken.

I had no idea CPS was like that Straitfan. Wishing you the best of luck with your grandbaby.

 

[Ora Macc]

posted by torismom,

therefor she saw nothing wrong with drinking some wine with a friend. This does not excuse her actions but IMO they are not prison worthy nor are they worthy of having her other child taken away.

Knocking back a box or around 5 to 10 glasses of wine IMO is far from drinking some wine with friends.
I can't defend a mother who broadcast she was drunk when her innocent baby disappeared off the face of the earth.

 

[jjenny]

The woman who claims she left her child in the car when it run out of gas-CPS took her second child and put that child in foster car. But here is DB who admits to drinking, her baby gone missing, and yet she is keeping both kids, one of whom is not even hers (but JI's). I frankly don't get it.

 

[angelmom]

The woman who claims she left her child in the car when it run out of gas-CPS took her second child and put that child in foster car. But here is DB who admits to drinking, her baby gone missing, and yet she is keeping both kids, one of whom is not even hers (but JI's). I frankly don't get it.

I am certainly not excusing Debbie, because I'm right there with the folks who don't like to drink much anyway, especially when I'm responsible for my kids, but I think drinking 5 glasses of wine over several hours with dinner in between is a FAR CRY from leaving a toddler in an unlocked car on the side of the road and walking away.

I would be on the floor with that much wine, but I know people who can easily put away a bottle (about 4 glasses) by themselves without being falling down drunk.

Even people who are caught with their kids in the car while they are driving drunk don't always have their kids taken away. As for her keeping both kids, it's not like she has them by herself - I believe they are together. Probably with lots of family, lawyers, etc. around.

 

[Jacie Estes]

The woman who claims she left her child in the car when it run out of gas-CPS took her second child and put that child in foster car. But here is DB who admits to drinking, her baby gone missing, and yet she is keeping both kids, one of whom is not even hers (but JI's). I frankly don't get it.

BBM
That woman has refused to take a polygraph; DB has taken one. LE said she failed but even John Walsh said that emotions of a missing child will skew the test.


"She has so far declined to take a polygraph examination; neither she nor her lawyer returned calls or emails seeking comment Monday and Tuesday."

Read more: http://www.theolympian.com/2011/11/...had-seen-wash.html?storylink=fb#ixzz1dDFYnVge

John Walsh on polygraph:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/45074429#45074429


CPS must feel that there is no reason for the boys to be removed.