Why Would Terri Implore DeDe To Help Her?

[txsvicki]

Sometimes when women hide a friendship with another woman it's because the man doesn't like her or tries to forbid them getting together. It would be interesting to know if DeDe ever butted in, advised Terri to leave him, or told Kaine off for his behavior towards Terri for some reason.

 

[pufnstuf]

Wow. This is from Wikipedia, the first paragraph of their description of the plot for Thelma and Louise:

Thelma Dickinson (Geena Davis) is a passive, goofy housewife, married to a controlling husband, Darryl (Christopher McDonald). Louise Sawyer (Susan Sarandon) is a single waitress who appears strong, organized and stern, with some unnamed trauma in her past. The film follows the women as they head out in Louise's teal 1966 Thunderbird convertible for a two-day vacation of fishing in the mountains that nosedives into a nightmarish situation before they even reach their destination, but which sees them change from victims of circumstance into outlaw heroines of the road.

I blinked, and read this again. You could switch out some names here and I swear, it sounds an awful lot like Terri and Dede. Very creepy! ...

Except that Geena and Susan are hotttt.

 

[Aedrys]

I know, but that's weird to me. I don't know....maybe it's because my husband and I are so close and they didn't have that kind of a relationship.

I mean, it's like if he said "what did you do today?" and she just said "ran to the store, cleaned the house, made dinner" and he was like "cool", then whatever, that was their dynamic. But I can't imagine that because that's not how my marriage is.....which I know not every marriage is like mine.

How do you have a birthday party and invite people that you don't know?
How does your husband throw you a birthday party and invite people he didn't even know existed? How do you address those invitations? How can you say "oh invite DeDe", "who's DeDe?", "oh she's that lady who does the gardening for so-and-so", "how did you meet her?", "she shops at the same place I do", "are you friends", "no but she has the same color hair as me", "oh OK, I'll invite her".
How does that work???
It's just odd.

I think Dede is the one that threw that birthday party for her. I think an article about her mentioned that, but I don't know which one, sorry. I'm not even sure Kaine was invited to it. At least the way the article was worded, Kaine was never mentioned when they talked about Terri's 40th birthday party. I think their marriage was very strained, and I think that TH was having this whole life that she wasn't sharing with Kaine.

So no, their relationship is not like yours with your husband or mine with my husband. They were basically living in the same house but living separate lives, I think. Or at least Terri had a separate life during the day that she hid from Kaine. Sadly, I think he just let her have that life and didn't question it. He really should have. Men can be SO oblivious and stupid when they shouldn't be. I'm sure he kicks himself everyday for not caring more about what Terri did during the day or what she really did when she spent time with baby K and Kyron when he wasn't there.

 

[Jade2010]

I don't believe for a second Dede was involved with Kyron's disappearance. I believe the only thing she is guilty of is supporting a friend she believes to be innocent.

We are talking about two women (not meth users, or drug addicts needing a fix, etc) who people believe got together to kidnap or murder a child? TWO women who seem to live productive lives? Not a chance.

 

[Leila]

I was wondering if anyone has a link or knows if there is photos of Terri's truck parked at the gym or if there is confirmation that the baby was in the gym daycare? Im asking about the parking lot pics because Im thinking it may be possible that DD dropped TH off at the gym and then left with K for a handoff....this would help solidify THs alibi and it fits with the times DD was unreachable...its nothing more than speculation and a thought,...was hoping someone had a link or knew if the truck was in the gym parking lot at the slated times

Interesting point! I wonder if the gym TH went to has surveillance cameras on their parking lot? I wonder too of LE has interviewed people who were at the gym during the same time TH was there? With a sign-in required at the gym, it would be easy for LE to contact people who used the gym during that time frame and ask if they remember seeing a white truck in the parking lot when they arrived.

 

[Calliope]

Wow. This is from Wikipedia, the first paragraph of their description of the plot for Thelma and Louise:

Thelma Dickinson (Geena Davis) is a passive, goofy housewife, married to a controlling husband, Darryl (Christopher McDonald). Louise Sawyer (Susan Sarandon) is a single waitress who appears strong, organized and stern, with some unnamed trauma in her past. The film follows the women as they head out in Louise's teal 1966 Thunderbird convertible for a two-day vacation of fishing in the mountains that nosedives into a nightmarish situation before they even reach their destination, but which sees them change from victims of circumstance into outlaw heroines of the road.

I blinked, and read this again. You could switch out some names here and I swear, it sounds an awful lot like Terri and Dede. Very creepy!

Really? How so? Serious question.

btw, you should rent the movie. it's excellent

 

[Leila]

I agree, because DDS is not forth coming on info makes me believe she is totally involved!!

I agree! Initially it appears that DD was not cooperative with LE. She retained an attorney, and although LE says she's now cooperating, they feel she's withholding information.

There has to be a reason why someone would not fully cooperate with LE in a criminal investigation of a missing child. This alone suggests involvement.

But going back to the question in the opening post, I have no idea why someone would become involved in something so serious and so criminal as helping in the disappearance of a child. It defies reason!

 

[daisy.faithfull]

I still sense AA or some sort of 12-step friendship all over this thing.

Interesting thought. I'm curious, what makes you think that?

 

[Kat010]

clip...I also feel like because Dede's father is LE, she may have helped TH with getting around forensics and crime scene stuff. .. .

A quick note: Spicher's father is some sort of special outdoor/wildlife type officer. Sorry, can't recall the name of his job right now. I've been going nuts looking for the URL of the department newsletter where he is mentioned.

He basically works at or around lakes.

He's not a detective. He wouldn't necessarily have a lot of forensics training. There are not only different types of officers, there are differeent specialties.

And, knowledge that officers have, especially in technical areas, aren't transferred to family by osmosis. It's kind like saying that you have an infected tooth and my father's a dentist, so you're going to ask me to help treat it.

Nice overview from up here on the fence, though. Frustrating, but a long-range view. :twocents:

 

[AbbieNormal]

I feel a Thelma and Louise vibe with those two. And I know how that movie ended. I'm wondering if at some point we'll see a double suicide or something.

I also feel like because Dede's father is LE, she may have helped TH with getting around forensics and crime scene stuff. Apparently she didn't do a good enough job of that, though. I do think Dede might be key in where Kyron's remains are, not that she put him there, but that she told TH how and where to dispose of Kyron's body.

I can't understand why she'd help hurt a child. What does come to mind is ego, though. I have heard of people doing a crime just because they think they can get away with it. It's possible with her dad as LE, Dede thought if she could outsmart him, she could outsmart LE as a whole. Who knows, maybe daddy has been covering for her her whole life. Maybe there are other things she's done that we don't know about because her LE father was able to get it off of her record or sealed. You'd think with her father in LE, she would know to not commit crimes because she'll get caught. Yet her attitude thus far has been the complete opposite of that. Maybe she thinks daddy will help her clean up this mess too? Hmmm, very parallel to Casey Anthony.

Or maybe, like in the Elizabeth Olten case, they did it just to see what it feels like to kill someone. THat is just plain evil right there, but sometimes there's no rational or reasonable explanation for why people do things like murder other people.

All of this JMO.

ITA w/ Aedrys, but want to add maybe DeDe was not just Terris friend, maybe DeDe wanted to be closer to Terri because she wanted a life like Terri- able to get into shape with enough working out, children, husband, the red mustang, a home of her own etc., DeDe is single and has none of what Terri HAD. Maybe DeDe wantd Terris life, and was easily talked into aything by Terri. Maybe Terris personality was such that she could talk people around her into just about anything.:waitasec:
abbie

 

[AbbieNormal]

I still sense AA or some sort of 12-step friendship all over this thing.

What do you mean? Do you think they both were alcoholics and went to AA meetings together? Or they had thier own little 12 step program in mind?

 

[AbbieNormal]

Sometimes when women hide a friendship with another woman it's because the man doesn't like her or tries to forbid them getting together. It would be interesting to know if DeDe ever butted in, advised Terri to leave him, or told Kaine off for his behavior towards Terri for some reason.

I had a friend a few years ago that I was just so thrlled about. The two of us just clicked. She trained and owned several horses. Her husband had a killer job working for a major hotel chain and was gone so much I never met him. They had 1 child and had carte blanche to go for free to any of that hotels resorts whenever they wanted. My husband met her and told me later I should steer clear of her. I was like, why? I like her. We have fun together. Anyway she ended up stealing from us, not important what but she did, and he told her to leave and never come back. I cried for a couple of days, I really felt like I had lost something important in my life even with the knowledge that she stole from us.
Some female relationships are a little off, some are really big-time off. Theirs could have been one of the big-time off types. JMO.

abbie

 

[stmarysmead]

I don't believe for a second Dede was involved with Kyron's disappearance. I believe the only thing she is guilty of is supporting a friend she believes to be innocent.

We are talking about two women (not meth users, or drug addicts needing a fix, etc) who people believe got together to kidnap or murder a child? TWO women who seem to live productive lives? Not a chance.

I think this is a genuine stumbling block. Although I am not on the fence, the logistics of how you recruit someone to hurt a child is something amazingly difficult to imagine.

I have no problem with fitting Terri into this scenario. Here's why:

Given the leaks to date, IMO it would take a person with a high capacity of recklessness to do "the approaching." If the murder for hire is credible, Terri is not only reckless, she is "experienced" at broaching the subject with another of doing murder for her. By the time she recruited DeDe, she had already had a similar conversation about Kaine with the landscaper.

The sexting and the previous marital affairs further underscore her recklessness. This is why I have no trouble seeing Terri in this scenario. She is a risk-taker at the least.

So the question really is why did Terri feel she could ask the Landscaper AND Dede to "help?" Is she uber-reckless and approaches anybody? Or is there something in her relationship with both that gave her reason to believe she would be successful or.... at the least, safe in asking?

It will be interesting when we hear the full story from the Landscaper. Did she provide a rationale, a justification? Did she feel the justification for killing Kaine was powerful enough AGAIN...to recruit him or keep her safe in asking?

Otherwise she would have to THINK that the Landscaper was callous enough to NEED NO JUSTIFICATION. Teri would have to believe that he only cared about the cash....or only cared about HER.

And cared enough to kill.

But what about DeDe?

Back to DeDe, if she's involved, once again... it's either for love, money or "righteousness." but "righteousness" gets terribly harder to claim when the Life to be taken is that of a child.

And, DeDe wouldn't have the deep level of emotional hatred that Terri would have had to have to think along these lines...to plan for a child's death.

So I rule out DeDe participating for "righteousness."

That leaves money. (Can't see that)

Or love....even a friendship so deeply necessary to keep...that even killing is on the table.

IMO, after the Landscaper ... seems like Terri "recruited" better this time. She may have actually chosen DeDe and worked on creating a closeness that would enhance the "recruiting success." That may be why DeDe and Kaine were not acquainted. She wanted no distraction from the scenarios she was feeding DeDe. Her "recruit" was only to "see' these people in the way she WANTED them seen.

Wouldn't THAT make murder easier?

Terri didn't want to actually DO the deed before...wanted the Landscaper to do it....and now my hunch is that we will find that Terri only handed off Kyron. My hunch is DeDe actually did the deed. That is what keeps DeDe quiet.

I think this is going to be a lot like the Pamela Smart case....the pretty teacher, besotted with the power of her own personality and sexuality, who manipulated needy teenagers into murder.

 

[Chili Fries]

ITA w/ Aedrys, but want to add maybe DeDe was not just Terris friend, maybe DeDe wanted to be closer to Terri because she wanted a life like Terri- able to get into shape with enough working out, children, husband, the red mustang, a home of her own etc., DeDe is single and has none of what Terri HAD. Maybe DeDe wantd Terris life, and was easily talked into aything by Terri. Maybe Terris personality was such that she could talk people around her into just about anything.:waitasec:
abbie

Good points. I've known people who I thought could become the worshipped dictator of a small country if given the chance. Some people are very persuasive.

I wonder how long ago DeDe broke up with her former boyfriend. Supporting and reinforcing feelings of being done wrong by their men probably played a big part in their bonding. It's possible DeDe was looking for a close connection with someone anyway, being that she was single and lived alone.

If they were up to something awful together then I think it was the combination of their personalities and emotional states that bound them together.

 

[Harlequin]

I agree! Initially it appears that DD was not cooperative with LE. She retained an attorney, and although LE says she's now cooperating, they feel she's withholding information.

There has to be a reason why someone would not fully cooperate with LE in a criminal investigation of a missing child. This alone suggests involvement.

I am new here thus this is my first post. I hope I did it correctly. I apologize in advance if I did not!


From what I understand, TH and DS were friends since highschool. IMO, DS went through all of TH's trials and tribulations in her life, 3 marriages, two kids. I believe there was more like a "sisterly" relationship between the two, with DS possibly coming to TH's "aid" each time she had some "drama" in her life, which she seemed to have a lot of. I can completely see a scenario where DS helped TH "out of her dilema" (Kyron). The fact that it took being called before the GJ for DS to divulge a portion of what she knows about TH's whereabouts the day Kyron went missing and that she didn't come forward on her own from day one, speaks volumes to me. Also, the fact that LE feels she's NOT telling all she knows is a red flag. I do believe DS would do anything for TH in the name of "friendship"... her smirk while walking out of the GJ hearing was so inappropriate, like a cat who swallowed the mouse!

I live 15 minutes away from Portland and Sauvie's Island....I have jet-skied and "camped out" for the day many a time on the small beach-like areas on Sauvie's Island. Lots of driftwood, trees and not a soul around, even during the summer months....I can only imagine just how desolate this portion of the island is during the month of March!

Thank you for letting me post and please, if I have done it incorrectly, I apologize in advance and welcome any advice on how to post correctly!

I pray for Kyron!

 

[kathryann]

I had a friend whose life (or so she portrayed it) was so exciting that I loved listening to her stories, my life seemed so boring compared to hers. She had tons of friends and everyone adored her and her personality. She was a pro at manipulating men, and honestly they just did whatever she wanted, I think women did too. She was always portraying herself as the damsel in distress. I could really see how a more vulnerable person could have gotten caught up in her life and her secrets. It seems people men/women wanted to help and protect her. The last time I talked to her she was involved with someone elses husband and had people actually feeling sorry for her that this guy wasn't leaving his wife. I ended my friendship with her at that point when it occurred to me that she was not a very nice person at all. Actions speak louder. Maybe this is what happened in this situation. I think that maybe Terri is a very manipulative person. JMOO.

 

[BeanE]

I don't think it takes imploring to get someone to be your accomplice in 'disappearing' a child. I have in mind Venus Stewart's case, where her husband asked a young guy to help him in her abduction and murder by acting as an impersonator for her husband so he would have an alibi. The testimony of the impersonator was chilling. He was very matter of fact and entirely devoid of emotion when relating the details of the abduction and murder, with Venus' husband calling him on the phone, giving him a blow by blow.

When describing how her husband asked him to participate, well, he had also described them going to Wendy's for burgers, and to Busch Gardens, and there just was no difference in his tone or more importantly, his language. It just was no big deal. It's hard, listening to it, to wrap one's head around the fact that it is murder being discussed and described.

I think to get someone to be your accomplice, it simply takes a recognition that something is amiss in the personality of the potential accomplice. Something 'twisted' maybe, or simply not there - a lack of caring for others. I don't know.

The relationship between Venus' husband and this young man seemed to be a strange one. There seemed to be some unusual emotional need, each for the other, and I am not implying any sort of sexual undertones to it. It was, to all reports, just a friendship. But there seemed to be an unusual dependency or need. I can't quite put my finger on it.

This unusual dependency or need, I think is may be the key thing that would have existed between Terri and an accomplice, if she was involved in Kyron's disappearance, and did have an accomplice.

 

[Calliope]

Welcome Harlequin

 

[Harlequin]

Welcome Harlequin

Thank you very much. :dance:

 

[cypress]

Is DS retaining counsel equivalent to her not cooperating? I have a problem with her rights being used against her. DS is the daughter of LE, and by the time she retained counsel, she and Terri knew the focus of this investigation was on Terri. We don't know what tone LE took with DS that may have put her on the defensive. If she believes Terri is innocent, she may truly have been fearful that anything she said, no matter how minute or mundane, may have been used against her.

We know she's spent hours and hours with LE, so I'm curious about how, exactly, she's been uncooperative. Is this another case of she's not confessing, so she's not cooperative?

It just makes me cringe when it is inferred that the act of retaining counsel during a high profile investigation is somehow indicative of guilt.