She's exactly right. Beautiful, smart, well spoken young woman. I wish she could move away from that awful neighborhood, and have better chances to succeed. Because she CAN succeed, just not
there, around all that violence, and among criminals.
Poor kid. She deserves way better than that.
Quick story. There is a family new to our community who moved here from a rather rough area in Chicago. The teen boy had an enormously difficult adjustment in the local public middle school, he brought the "gangster" attitude and swagger from his old neighborhood with him. And he was a very big kid-- 6' and at least 200#, so very intimidating to the smaller kids. He postured, he threatened, he bragged about his old neighborhood and what a "bad a$$" he was, he mouthed off to teachers, he threw things in class, and was a general PITA. That was September, 2 years ago. The kids saw thru his swagger right away, and really, really tried to include him, and make friends. They called him out when he was rude or disruptive, before the teachers did. He rebuffed them, over and over.
The mother and her BF are lovely people, and extremely dedicated to him, and to making a better life in their new community. She told me she had to get him away.She was literally obsessed with getting away from the violence. She wanted to save her son, and she knew she couldn't do it there.
Long story short, before the end of his first year here, he stopped with the swagger and intimidation and mouthing off. Little by little, he pulled his pants up over his butt cheeks, and kept them there. Kids said he was "quiet" for several months, and suddenly raised his hand in class a few times, and answered correctly. They were stunned. He started participating in gym class, and the boys realized he had a lot of athletic talent, and they started playing ball games during lunch.
The boy is in high school now, and played football as a freshman. He has loads of friends now, gets decent grades, and I have every expectation he will graduate and go on to live a happy and successful life, with a career and family. No, he won't get a football scholarship, or anything like the movies, and he's not brilliant intellectually-- but capable of many jobs and careers.
But all it took to make a difference, a real difference in his life trajectory, was the mother making up her mind to get OUT of the awful neighborhood and
away from the other people who were bad influences. The mother lost an older nephew to gang violence, she told me, and the man she is with now is a father figure to the teen. They came with only a car load of belongings, and within the first weeks of the school year, both adults were employed in good jobs, living in what she describes as a "2 bedroom palace! It's clean, and everything actually works!"
Thank god for this woman and her BF-- if not for them, this teen would have almost certainly been lost to the streets, in jail, or dead by now. It CAN be done. Poor minorities CAN succeed, and yes, they probably have to try harder, and make more sacrifices-- nobody ever said life was going to be fair.
