Dear Raven,

[mysteriew]

I am going to ask that other people not respond to this post.

If you know something about this murder which you have not disclosed, and you have found your way here, then kudos to you. If you keep coming here, that means what you know is disturbing you. You have some degree of intelligence if you found us. And you must have a concience.
You have found your way to a bunch of people who hate unanswered mysteries. Unanswered questions bother us. It doesn't affect any of us directly, yet we cannot let it go. As long as there are questions, there will be attention. Have you noticed there are many like us?
Many times we hear, "you don't understand". We will listen.
You are in a unique position to answer many of our questions, and help us to understand. Was someone trapped in a situation and wanted out? Was there too much pressure on someone? Did they snap and do the unthinkable? Or did someone knowingly and deliberately set out to murder this woman? Did they know she was pregnant? Was that what led up to the murder? Was any thought given to Kaiden? Are you afraid they will do it again someday? I have heard the second time is easier.
Have they talked about it to anyone? If they did, that is a heavy burden to put on someone else. Or do you just have your suspicions?
I really do want to understand. And I will listen. Sometimes it is easier to share a burden. Why do you think they shared what they did with you?
Because they needed to share the burden in order to ease their own.
It won't be forgotten you know. It will continue to hang there. And when it is finally solved, there probably won't be a chance to make people understand. Now is your chance to share and no attorneys, LE, judges or courts to distort what you want to be known. Thank you for listening.

 

[mysteriew]

I just posted an article in Crimes in the News where three brothers discovered that their father was suspected in a bank robbery. One of the brothers was a cop. They turned him in. In the article they talked about how their father raised them to be good citizen's, how sick the crime made them, and how they felt that they had to turn him in. That was the way they were raised. A statement from the father was that they did the right thing.
I think of the families of people who commit crimes. They love the person, quite often they find it difficult to believe that the person could commit the crime they are accused of. I think of Mark Hackings family, and the family of the little boy who killed a younger schoolmate (I can't think of his name right now, it was several years ago. His grandfather was a sheriff. The family turned the child in when they suspected he might be the one who killed the other child). It must be so very difficult. Yet they are people to be admired. They still loved the family member. They still wanted the best for them. But they understood that if the family member was allowed to get by with their crime, that in some ways- not good ways, it would change the one they loved. They truly loved their family member, and want the best for them. And that included making them face the problem, the crimes they committed. It must be so hard. It will tear a family apart. But so would keeping quiet. How could you forget your suspicions. How could you ignore what you thought happened. In what ways will it change the murderer. A person who has now faced taking a life, and having got by with it, and learned to live with it, what will happen to them now? Will they handle another problem like this in the future? Will they snap again? Who will it be the next time? A wife, a child, a parent? It happens every day.
I don't know who killed Janet. I tend to believe it was someone close to her, someone she knew well. The crime scene points to that. Was it her husband?
Someone knows. Someone is worrying now about the effect that this crime will have on the person who committed this murder.
Do you think that this person will go on with his life, work, maybe raise a family, be happy, and forget this ever happened? Think that he/she will go on with their life, holding the fact that they saw her face when she was dying and will go on to live a good life, because they didn't get caught? Questions like this would tear me up. I can understand the turmoil a family would go through. But I really admire the ones who love their family member enough, who truly want the best for their family member- enough to turn them in. So that they can get the help they need. So that they can begin to come to some understanding of what they did, and learn to forgive themselves.
These families show, you can love the person, you can be supportive, and you can want what is best for the person. And still turn them in. I admire them for the example they set.

 

[terminatrixator]

Wonderful Posts Mystery, it is very appreciated and I hope it is not going to fall on deaf ears.

I really don't think most close to The Raven have it in them, to actually come forward and admit it. Fear of the Murderer? I could see that. Guilt that they are associated with a murderer? There should be no guilt in being associated with one, unless you have information that could lead to an arrest. Afraid of retribution, through friends or family? Who knows?

At this time, I don't know if anyone really close to The Raven can admit to themselves he committed this crime, it would have to be a horrible thought, and quite scary for them and probably lonely too.

I also don't see anyone close to him coming forward and admit to themselves or others what he really is a liar, a thief, an adulterer, a horrible father, a sociopath, and in my opinion, a cold-blooded murderer.

 

[mysteriew]

Did you all see this post I put in Cold cases?
http://websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?p=889297#post889297

He thought he got away with it. Time went by and he thought he was in the clear. Busted! Wonder how it made his family feel? Wonder if he has had kids, and if they are now ashamed of their father?
http://websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?p=889297#post889297

Forensics is much better now than it was 23 yrs ago. I bet it won't take that long this time. Wonder if the arrest will come on Thanksgiving Day? Right in the middle of Turkey dinner?

 

[Jenifred]

I bet it won't take that long this time. Wonder if the arrest will come on Thanksgiving Day? Right in the middle of Turkey dinner?

That would rock!! Can you just see it? Turkey and dressing flying as the PD rushes in and nabs Raven. Ah, I'm sure reality wouldn't be that dramatic.

 

[terminatrixator]

That would definitely be something to be Thankful for, however, I really think there is more that needs to be investigated on this case.

I don't believe that all testing is completed yet, by checking with the backlog on this case. I would also assume LE would probably still need to set up another interview with The Raven, to clear up a few things after the testing came in.

I don't think this case is going to take 23 years however, I think this case still has a few unanswered questions, and it may take a while longer, because of the lack of weapon, the circumstantial evidence on the case, and the other things going on right now in Durham, the trial etc.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

That would rock!! Can you just see it? Turkey and dressing flying as the PD rushes in and nabs Raven. Ah, I'm sure reality wouldn't be that dramatic.

I just hope and pray that Kaiden doesn't have to witness the arrest. I truly hope with everything in me that LE will consider that if and when they decide to arrest Raven. If it's in the presence of that child, he could be traumatized for life. As much as many of us dislike Raven, Kaiden sees him as Daddy. This whole damned thing is so sad. So pointless. Everyone comes out a loser.

 

[Moxie]

I wish it would be over Thanksgiving dinner! But we have no way of knowing and since LE isn't talking, we aren't going to know. Remember how we hoped it would be on his birthday?

However, we can always dream of it happening on Christmas day!!

Maybe in church?!?!? The bike shop?!?!

There are any number of exciting possibilities.

 

[Moxie]

I just hope and pray that Kaiden doesn't have to witness the arrest. I truly hope with everything in me that LE will consider that if and when they decide to arrest Raven. If it's in the presence of that child, he could be traumatized for life. As much as many of us dislike Raven, Kaiden sees him as Daddy. This whole damned thing is so sad. So pointless. Everyone comes out a loser.

JG,

I am humbled by your post. Here I am being all punchy and you raise the most important point.

The safety of Kaiden. I don't know that LE is even going to arrest Raven, but I would imagine that they would not want to do anything to affect that poor little boy, unless, of course, Raven gives them no choice, ie, using Kaiden as a tool to avoid a confrontational arrest.

I believe Raven has already taken that sweet child's mother - at this point, Raven has done the worst thing that could ever happen to Kaiden.


Moxie

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

JG,

I am humbled by your post. Here I am being all punchy and you raise the most important point.

Oh, no Moxie - it's quite okay to be punchy. It's just that the thought of Raven being arrested in front of Kaiden has practically been haunting me for a long time. And as the holidays approach, I think of how thankful I am for my kids, and how thankful they probably are for me (most of the time, even if they won't admit it!), and that reminds me of that poor little boy who will never know about the love of a mother. It's really been on my mind today, thinking about how Kaiden will be conscious of this Thanksgiving; playing with cousins, toddling around the house, probably getting into everything, and eating turkey with his little baby fingers. And today it's bothering me more than ever that Janet won't be there to experience those moments.

I believe Raven has already taken that sweet child's mother - at this point, Raven has done the worst thing that could ever happen to Kaiden.

I think you're 100% right. If Raven did this, and the only way to arrest him is in front of Kaiden, then that's what's going to need to be done. I just hope that Raven, for maybe the first time in his life, will do the right thing and make sure that it doesn't come to that. Either way, it makes me so sad to think that Kaiden's already lost his Mommy and he may lose his "Daddy" as well, and possibly in front of his own eyes. Not that Raven doesn't deserve to go to jail; just that that poor little baby didn't deserve any of this.

I'm so sorry for being a downer. Please continue to lighten this up with humor. Some days we really need that. Today is one of them for me. I really do appreciate the levity.

 

[terminatrixator]

You could always download that Turkey song to The Raven if you need a little humor JG.

My thoughts and prayers are going out to Kaiden this Thanksgiving, and all those that are hurting.

 

[Moxie]

Hi JG,


I'll do my best to add some humor - it is such a sad thing to think of Kaiden without his Mommy. Maybe humor is just my way of dealing with it.

Regardless, if Raven was not involved in Janet's murder, then I know LE wouldn't even be thinking of arresting him, so it's a moot point.

However... if Raven was involved, in any way, in Janet's death, then I believe LE will get him. And Raven will have to live with that. Constantly wondering if today is the day.

And if he runs, well then we know he's guilty, and that will destroy any chance of him being found innocent at a trial.

Moxie

 

[mysteriew]

Must be hard to be trapped like that. Knowing they will be coming to arrest you. And knowing that if you run, you might as well announce your guilt to all of your family and friends.
I would be feeling pretty awful. Feeling the guilt, the paranoia, then flashes of anger, do you also feel grief? Maybe some flashes of hope, feeling that no one will ever know- that you will get by with it, and then the fear that you won't.
Keep yourself busy so you don't have to think about it. Cram as much activity into your days as possible, as much living as possible- you never know when it will end.

 

[cappuccina]

I said many, many months ago that the best thing for this sweet innocent little boy would have been for him to be adopted by an (anonymous) loving family. Clearly, he should not be with his father. While I know his mother's relatives are apparently decent folks, as long as Daddy is loose things could be very tense (and worse) if custody were to be tranferred to them, IMO....becase Daddy's perhaps a tad psychotic and narcissistic with a teensy, weensy anger management problem...

If he were adopted in a closed adoption he would also not be burdened with the terrible events surrounding his mother's death....that his father has most likely killed his mother...Again, I ask you to look at Sam Sheppard's son who grew up terribly depressed and burdened by his family situation. While he is a very good person, this has colored every aspect of his life...

 

[Jenifred]

Must be hard to be trapped like that. Knowing they will be coming to arrest you. And knowing that if you run, you might as well announce your guilt to all of your family and friends.

You know, from all that I've read here about Raven's family, I don't think that him running would prove anything to the Abaroas. They would believe that they are helping an innocent man keep away from an unnecessary trial. They are all a little looney, if you get what I'm saying.

 

[Moxie]

You know, from all that I've read here about Raven's family, I don't think that him running would prove anything to the Abaroas. They would believe that they are helping an innocent man keep away from an unnecessary trial. They are all a little looney, if you get what I'm saying.

Right, but it would prove a heck of a lot to the rest of the world, including LE, judges, his bishops and the jury pool.

 

[terminatrixator]

To The Raven,

Here's hoping you have a Thanksgiving filled with regret, guilt, and hopefully the Spirit of the Holiday, will give you something, you have never had before, that is a conscience.

I hope you can find it, in that thing ticking in your chest, that's called a heart, to spend some time with your child, and at least attempt to show him some love, I know you have it in you to fake it, but maybe today you can try for real.

I know that will be a stretch for you because you see him as an object or a possession, but hopefully for Thanksgiving, you can show something that closely resembles love to a child that should be spending today with his Mother and her family.

 

[Jenifred]

I wonder if a raven tastes like chicken? I bet a raven would fry pretty good.

 

[mysteriew]

Whew, you made it safely through Thanksgiving dinner. Did you think of her? Any thoughts of past Thanksgivings when she would have been busy with preparations?
How far along would she have been now? Have you ever wondered if it was a boy or a girl? Who the baby would have looked like?

 

[NK57]

Dear Raven,

Did you give thanks today that you were not arrested today?