It should have been their love for Caylee that made them NOT cater to Casey's whims. True love for Caylee would have been for her mother to BE her mother and for them to have encouraged this and supported it. True love does not attempt to smother another persons love or "one-up" it. Casey was Caylee's mother, and they should have insisted that she BE that instead of doing what they had done in every other situation in which Casey found herself, which was to take care of it for her.
As for them "looking over" her atrocities for their love of Caylee? That is not love. That is weakness and dependency, but not love. Love does not look over and allow negligent, immoral and or unethical behavior as its source. If they loved her so much, then they should have let her go like the old saying goes. In letting go they may have been able to save her. In clinging and looking over all the wrong, in the end, they did nothing to protect her and look where she ended up-dead. I am not saying it was their "fault". I am saying that they enabled her all those years in all of her other behaviors and continue to enable her to this very day and cover and lie for her. Caylee is gone, and yet, the enabling of Casey beats on. If it was about their love for Caylee then it would have ended when they knew Caylee was gone. This is not the case. It still has not ended and I doubt that it ever will. When one "looks over" crime and allows it to grow larger and more serious in order to have ones own will fulfilled, one is not engaging in "love" one is engaging in dependency.
Also regarding the "therapy" that Cindy went for, her mother tells us in this new doc dump that she went, was told to toss Casey and knew that she could not possibly do this and never went back again. That is not therapy. Therapy would have been to have done the deed and tossed her out on her ear.
This was your reply to my post, and I absolutely agree that normal parents/ grandparents would have done this. ALL of this, plus probably more to stop the madness.
Remember how people who knew her have said over and over that Casey didn't really stand out in HS, wasn't really extremely good or very bad?.. Wasn't in any " crowd" of either good or bad? Kind of the invisible type. Cindy was said to be " over-protective" and " hovering". I see it very well.
This type of young female IS dominated by her mother at home. The mother attempts to control and live vicariously through the female child.
Jealousy of the maturing young woman is a prominent feature of a mother with poor ego boundaries like I believe Cindy had and has, and
hyper-criticism is also a prominent feature of the dynamics of the mother, which may be disguised as " overly helpful" or " extremely watchful", or even " babying". The mother is conveying to her daughter that the child/ teen/ adult lacks qualities needed to " be safe", to make sound decisions, to stand on her own two feet.
The daughter's reactions are usually
avoidance, self- doubt, and inner resentment. Together, the jealousy, the criticism, the lack of privacy and boundaries are extremely toxic in a young girl's development of a
sense of self- worth and also of the critical development of her
own judgment skills. In the extreme, the intrusion of the mother into the psyche of her daughter can cause a serious mental illness to develop in the maturing teenager. Usually, we would expect to see
depression, dependency issues, and
extremely low self- esteem. We would also expect to see features which are clearly evident:
lack of respect for the boundaries of others and
jealousy of her own child. I doubt there were proper ego boundaries on Cindy's part from Casey's early childhood onwards.
I have never seen even one single photo of Casey with Cindy when she was a child, but would love to see a photo album of the two of them. I think it would be extremely revealing. Casey didn't learn good parenting because it wasn't displayed in her home. She apparently was able to play nice at school, and IF she was " bad" at home, we don't know anything about sociopathic behavior during her childhood or HS teen years. Also, it seems to me that until Caylee was born, the most that could be said about Cindy
publicly was that Cindy was a professional nurse with a responsible position ( she was a supervisor at a home health care agency), and probably, from what Casey became, was in a a push- pull / conflict/ smothering type of pattern with Casey, as descried above.
This IS a sick family. They have never established " rank". There was always a push/ pull between at least Cindy and Casey, and probably with George thrown in too. I don't know enough about Lee to know how he was treated or how he coped.
Cindy assumed a position of absolute
control out of
fear.
People who feel the need to control situations in the household and in other people's lives do so out of personal fear. Cindy does not trust anyone in her life to any degree.
I do NOT know the source of Cindy's initial fear and control with Casey when she was growing up. But, I do believe Casey was parented with conflicting elements of over-control and over-indulgence. This is extremely confusing to a child and teen. I think Casey found a false and fleeting sense of self- identity and self-esteem through interactions with males who flattered her and paid attention to her after she physically matured and changed. I think she used her female friends ( friend being a very shallow term for Casey) but probably has sought a secure relationship with a man because her relationship with her mother was so volatile and inconsistent for most, if not all, of her life.
I would expect an adult aged Casey to distrust all females to a great extent and to manipulate people for her own want and needs. A child manipulates its world for its own wants and needs. Casey is stuck in an immature state of emotional growth, one that operates on the pleasure principle, but makes quite a lot of painful missteps and falls. The child who is parented with great conflicting messages is stuck in an " I want, I need" mentality with no empathy for the world around her, or any other person.
I believe Casey changed the entire family dynamics when she got pregnant with Caylee at a young age with great gaps in her own emotional maturity, as you have read in my posts about the control Casey held over her family through threats about taking Caylee away from them.
Casey observed Cindy all her life, resented her, and also learned what control gave a person. Caylee was the only " thing' Casey ever "possessed" to give her any control. Caylee was who Casey's parents loved most. When she saw that her mother's greatest weakness was Caylee, Casey manipulated her parents through the tug of war over Caylee. The resentment against them remained, their resentments of her remained, and she resented their love for her child because it took love away from her, in her eyes. Casey needed her parents love, but she didn't love them.
Casey saw Caylee as a part of her own self. Caylee was never a separate person to Casey. She always " belonged" to Casey like a possession would.
When Casey decided to exert her own form of control, it was totally off kilter. Both the acts of a child who was raised by wolves turned loose in Disneyland, and the acts of a child raised in Disneyland turned loose in a world full of wolves. Casey never learned or was able to distinguish the importance of truth over lies, and her truths were lies, and her basis for evil. Again, sociopathy in an anti-social personality.
