2010.08.18 - Dede's ex-Boyfriend describes her

[tehcloser]

I think he was her first and only attempt at going "straight". I think it's fairly obvious that TH and DD are lovers, and perhaps that's why there are all these secrets.

 

[passionflower]

Was X BF ever married? Was this his first & onbly as to why he kept her cards etc.

 

[21merc7]

Tehcloser, you might want to delete your post, we're not aloud to talk about that.

It is okay now, Tricia okayed it.

[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5536589&postcount=1"]Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - A message about posting in Kyron's forum[/ame]

 

[Indianagirl]

I think he was her first and only attempt at going "straight". I think it's fairly obvious that TH and DD are lovers, and perhaps that's why there are all these secrets.

Well now that we're aloud to talk about it, I must say I completely agree with you! I can't think of any other reason why DDS would be willing to help. *IF* she did.

 

[21merc7]

Was X BF ever married? Was this his first & onbly as to why he kept her cards etc.

I wonder the same thing. I think he speaks of himself well, projects himself in what he is saying, but by saying it is someone else?

 

[tehcloser]

Well now that we're aloud to talk about it, I must say I completely agree with you! I can't think of any other reason why DDS would be willing to help. *IF* she did.

lol, yep Tricia gave us the ok to er..."come out of the closet" so to speak. :angel:

 

[2goldfish]

Well now that we're aloud to talk about it, I must say I completely agree with you! I can't think of any other reason why DDS would be willing to help. *IF* she did.

gosh, I hadnt even considered that. I dont read in here every day lately cause I dont want to see dirty laundries aired, I was news and I want kyron home. so I come to the forum and scan headlines and I see there's no arrests etc....no news, no news....I want to see FOUND ALIVE so badly.


anyhoo I suppose a relationship between DS and TH could indeed explain everyone acting flaky about their timelines and whereabouts...combined with TH's older son J saying in a recent article that TH was "hysterical" re: kyron missing......I am so firmly on the fence I think it's growing up my...well, n/m

 

[pugglesworth]

IF TH and DD were lovers (wouldn't surprise me either way, you can't tell just by glancing at someone) could it be that they had a liason during the "missing time" that day? And had nothing to do with Kyron's disappearance, but were just unlucky enough to have an alibi that would necessitate coming out of the closet? I know for many people these days, coming out is not as big a deal as it used to be. But for some families it still could mean getting shunned and cut off. Also, in some churches it means a shunning as well. (I don't know about the Horman's church, personally, just saying there are some churches where that is the case.) It would be a much bigger deal than confessing that she had been having an affair with a man, potentially. Hmm.

 

[debs]

I think he was her first and only attempt at going "straight". I think it's fairly obvious that TH and DD are lovers, and perhaps that's why there are all these secrets.

.....and I was thinking she was his.

In this day and age and in a place like Portland, I would find it nearly incredulous to be a closeted lesbian. I see nothing which supports DeDe being a lesbian. Terri as a married woman, perhaps. But even still, homosexuality is not a gateway lifestyle to murder, or even as child abductor. And so far, nothing has been stated which one could use to draw the conclusion they were lovers at all.

 

[pugglesworth]

I don't care how many letters of reference he was able to convince others to write for him, or how many times he was approved to serve as a child advocate. This guy is strange - his letter speaks for itself (not to mention his other *statements*).

IMO, his status as a child advocate needs to be re-examined (if for no other reason than these recent comments of his).

I couldn't care less that he passed a criminal background check years ago (or even recently). All that means is that he has never been charged or convicted of anything.

Based on his letter & other *statements* he's made, I wouldn't want him anywhere near any children I know.

MOO

Thanks isn't enough, so quoted for truth. This guy gives me the willies. Something is very off about him.

 

[ThoughtFox]

IF TH and DD were lovers (wouldn't surprise me either way, you can't tell just by glancing at someone) could it be that they had a liason during the "missing time" that day? And had nothing to do with Kyron's disappearance, but were just unlucky enough to have an alibi that would necessitate coming out of the closet? I know for many people these days, coming out is not as big a deal as it used to be. But for some families it still could mean getting shunned and cut off. Also, in some churches it means a shunning as well. (I don't know about the Horman's church, personally, just saying there are some churches where that is the case.) It would be a much bigger deal than confessing that she had been having an affair with a man, potentially. Hmm.

I find it hard to believe that they would drop everything to go have a liason in the middle of DeDe's work schedule while the baby was with them.

Unless they met out in the woods - and I hope they brought some poison oak cream!

And for it to happen at the same time as Kyron's disappearance would be just too weird. Why keep that a secret if it gives them an alibi?

 

[Etilema]

IF TH and DD were lovers (wouldn't surprise me either way, you can't tell just by glancing at someone) could it be that they had a liason during the "missing time" that day? And had nothing to do with Kyron's disappearance, but were just unlucky enough to have an alibi that would necessitate coming out of the closet? I know for many people these days, coming out is not as big a deal as it used to be. But for some families it still could mean getting shunned and cut off. Also, in some churches it means a shunning as well. (I don't know about the Horman's church, personally, just saying there are some churches where that is the case.) It would be a much bigger deal than confessing that she had been having an affair with a man, potentially. Hmm.

I don't think it would be that they are simply trying to cover up a rendez-vous or a relationship. It is more that the emotional entanglement could lead to DDS being so loyal and TH having a strong influence over her.

It is even possible that DDS had romantic feelings for TH, who then manipulated those feelings (as she has been said to have a pattern of doing with men), even if she, herself, was not even "bi-curious".

After all, MC made a big deal out of the fact that he had never actually had sex with TH, in spite of the sexting. Maybe that kind of involvement, with the hope of more, is sufficient to keep the someone engaged.

All total speculation and opinion on my part, thinking "out loud".

 

[nosysw]

I find it hard to believe that they would drop everything to go have a liason in the middle of DeDe's work schedule while the baby was with them.

Unless they met out in the woods - and I hope they brought some poison oak cream!

And for it to happen at the same time as Kyron's disappearance would be just too weird. Why keep that a secret if it gives them an alibi?

I'm not so sure, ThoughtFox...If they were to have an affair, most likely their laisons would have to during the day, when they had the opportunity and most likely, sad to say, the baby would have been around...I have known of people who cheat with their pre-verbal children in tow (not to say they are doing something right in front of them but 90 minute road trips help babies take long naps if you know what I mean)...And if it was an ongoing thing, it may have happened often during Kyron's school days and this unfortunate day he just happened to disappear. I've said before I wondered if Kyron might have witnessed something they didn't want known...

In any event, although I don't doubt that they're involved- DDS may have been soothing for TM who was having marriage troubles- she could be bisexual- I wouldn't say it's clear that they are involved...could go either way.

Don't buy that this is an alibi though because no matter how afraid she was to come out I'm convinced she would have done so before allowing herself to become the prime suspect in her step son's disappearance. She may have tried to avoid it but I think by now, she'd be running to the media to explain why she couldn't publicize her true alibi but is now being forced to.

 

[ami]

Re: romantic relationship between Terri and Dede...

I think JW suspected they were involved, maybe just on a level he wasn't willing to admit to himself. He does not seem very open minded.

Because of this, his naive assertion that Dede had never had another boyfriend and would never have another after him could be "clueless" on many levels. Either she's mainly romantically interested in men and of course has had and will have relationships in her lifetime besides JW - or she's mainly romantically attracted to women and so her words might have been literally true, but not in the way JW was willing to admit to himself.

About Terri, I can see a situation in which she may have used her sexuality to get things she wanted from people, male or female. I don't think she was in love with Dede as a romantic partner or anything. I can instead see her using someone else's attraction to her to gain their help.

 

[Etilema]

In the "earlier" video interview (the one where he is one the bike), I think he comes across better for a variety of reasons.

-The sunglasses.
-Good editing, so none of his speculations are allowed to ramble on. (He is several times cut off while about to continue his thought.)
-Limited use of him actually talking, instead having the reporter doing voice-over paraphrase.

JMO

 

[tehcloser]

.....and I was thinking she was his.

In this day and age and in a place like Portland, I would find it nearly incredulous to be a closeted lesbian. I see nothing which supports DeDe being a lesbian. Terri as a married woman, perhaps. But even still, homosexuality is not a gateway lifestyle to murder, or even as child abductor. And so far, nothing has been stated which one could use to draw the conclusion they were lovers at all.

BBM...Who in hades said homosexuality was a gateway to murder? :waitasec: All I said was I think they are lovers and that may be why it SEEMS they are being so secretive. My goodness, I don't even like my post being equated with such, next thing you know someone will be saying well teh said lesbians are murderers...:crazy:

 

[Indianagirl]

Re: romantic relationship between Terri and Dede...

I think JW suspected they were involved, maybe just on a level he wasn't willing to admit to himself. He does not seem very open minded.

Because of this, his naive assertion that Dede had never had another boyfriend and would never have another after him could be "clueless" on many levels. Either she's mainly romantically interested in men and of course has had and will have relationships in her lifetime besides JW - or she's mainly romantically attracted to women and so her words might have been literally true, but not in the way JW was willing to admit to himself.

About Terri, I can see a situation in which she may have used her sexuality to get things she wanted from people, male or female. I don't think she was in love with Dede as a romantic partner or anything. I can instead see her using someone else's attraction to her to gain their help.

This is exactly my point of view. I think Terri pretended to be romantically interested in DDS to use her for whatever purposes she could and DDS fell for it. JMO. Nothing else makes sense to me, if DDS is involved.

This reminds me a lot of the Celeste Beard case. She pretended to be a lesbian and manipulated her secret girlfriend (who had mental issues) into killing her wealthy husband by saying he abused her. BTW, I'm not implying DDS has mental issues.

For those interested, here is info on Celeste Beard case:
http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/family/celeste_beard/1_index.html

Also, I don't think JW had a clue that DDS could be a lesbian, if she is.

 

[Bethlamb16]

Two things, I think he came forward because DY and KH begged the public to come forward with anything they have. For that, I think he did the right thing. Going public with interviews, etc. appears to be a very poor choice on his part, however, many people want their 15 mintues of fame and don't think about the consequences.

The second thing is assuming TH and DS are involved romantically (either way) wouldn't surprise me and as some are suggesting that this is truly what they were doing when Kyron disappeared and they came out and said that they were having an affair at the time there is no way based on public opinion that anyone would believe this alibi even if true as most people would then be convinced that they took Kyron since they admitted they were together. I don't think they could win for losing. I am still on the fence but this case really has some strange players.

 

[pdx]

OK, I don't usually make posts wildly speculating about personalities..

First.. thumbs up to my fellow 'dingdongs' with the quick weddings and lasting marriages.. you all give me inspiration! Yes, there are definitely days when I call myself a dingdong over it, but I fortunately married a saint.

Back to Dede. For some reason, I have very strong opinions about her publicly posted journey of self exploration.
I can totally see DD becoming infatuated with TH or something TH was involved in, not out of romantic or sexual attraction, but because DD gets "into" things and is like a terrier with a bone. She's been trying on lots of different activities, perhaps as a way of trying on a new persona. I see the relationship between the activities (knitting, sustainability, DIY, organic food production, vermicomposting etc). All of these activities are at a high point of interest here in Portland. NB: I've been involved in the sustainability/alternative community here for over 25 years. It's stuff I watch, in terms of trends. Oh, and I keep worms too.

So I just want to chuck it out there.. I don't think they're secret lovers.. as someone else (debs!) pointed out, there's little reason to keep that a secret around here. I think DD was a fat girl, with issues, who applied tremendous self discipline and lost 100+ pounds, got "into" that community and had pined for romantic love. With her new successes (marathon, eating etc). Tried it on with JW but found it to be a cold wet blanket of her own. I wish I had captured her blog posts because I believe there was another man post JW based on things she wrote.

Whatever these 2 (DD + TH) got up to, it was some new obsession, that could be researched online and had a community or set way of doing things that they could follow. I really didn't care for DD when we first 'met' her, but now I feel a bit softer about her. I'm forming the impression that if she was involved in disappearing K, it's because she thought it was a virtuous act, like the other virtuous activities she'd been involved with for the past several years.

And there's my worthless post, speculating about the personality of someone I've never met.

 

[pdx]

Oh, I had one more thing to add, maybe someone else has picked up on this.

I was re-reading DD's tweets, going back to when she met JW and something jumped out.
She put on an affectation of using British English for a while. She's dropped it now, but it stands out to me because my husband is English and we are both 'bilingual' now (hey, it's more different than you'd think). The discussion group I spend the most time on is mostly British people and so the reason I noticed it in DD is because I'm self-aware of when I'm doing it with my American friends.
The words stand out & I sound like a pompous azz. lol

edit: going with my previous post, it's just one of those 'things' she latched onto.