2011.02.07 Shawn Adkins speaks out: 10pm Central KTAB

[katydid23]

from transcript
SA 03) Um...I just been mainly, you know, just staying quiet. You know, staying out of the limelight, cuz a lot of negative things are being said about me.

The limelight? WTH does this mean?

Definition of Limelight
Limelight

That part of the stage upon which the limelight as cast, usually where the most important action is progressing or where the leading player or players are placed and upon which the attention of the spectators is therefore concentrated. Hence, consspicuous position before the public; as, politicians who are never happy except in the limelight.


Hey, he actually chose the right word this time.

 

[SmoothOperator]

My head hurts just thinking of all the possibilities of this case!!
Honestly, I need a nap.
It has snowed about 4inches here so far, as I'm sure SmoothOperator knows (hey there SO!).
And I know what the weather is like down around CC.
Hailey, I gotta take a break and reboot my brain but I pray that you aren't cold tonight.
I think I have to go have a good cry now
I remember being Hailey's age with my whole life ahead of me....such a wonderful time turning into a young lady.....where oh where are you tonight dear?

Hiya SNOWINMEMPHIS:seeya:
And boy did it ever "SNOWINMEMPHIS" today..lol..like ya said 4ins so far..supposed to get a couple more before midnite..but don't see it happening..ok..sorry..I'll take my punishment now

for going way off topic..

Back on topic...
With the talk of the beta blockers...Hhhmmm..I'd never even thought of those aiding in passing a poly...I know that you're told not to take certain meds for a certain amount of time prior to LDT being administered..But f have always heard that was just going on a person's word{and we know these folks word doesn't mean a thing}..but I've never heard of them drug testing prior to taking a poly to see if a person is under the influence of any meds that might alter the outcome of the LDT.. I'm definitely going to have to do a little researching in this area now that you guys have piqued my curiosity..

Years ago while in college I was diagnosed with the extremely common MVP{Mitro Valve Prolapse}..esp.common in women..they initially put me on a couple of different meds and played with doages and such for about a year..and since then(12-13yrs ago)I have taken absolutely NOTHING FOR THE MVP..Thank God I have never needed to..nor have I suffered any problems with it{every once in a while I'll have the little "flip-flop:..fluttering of my heart}other than that occasional flutter its been great..no probs..

But while playing around with those different meds and dosages I felt like hell..a real slug..drained..and no energy..Can't recall the names of the beta blockers I was on..but I do know that Inderal made me like a slug..But as far as it keeping me from feeling fear in a situation that normally I would be fearful in.. I definitely don't recall that being a side effect..Tho it very well may be that the dosages that I was weren't high enough for it to affect me in such a way..

As I said mainly sluggish to the MAXX..and that's the very reason that I demanded finally that I be off of them..I hated the way I felt...

Am gonna go do a little searching around about LDTs and the effects meds such as Beta blockers..as well as combining the Beta blockers with heavy sedatives such as Klonopin..Xanax..etc.. If those meds would/could possibly alter a LDT in a significant manner that would make a difference{i.e possibly NOT indicating deception..even tho the person is indeed BEING DECEPTIVE}

eta~SNOWINMEMPHIS..I also read your post about the traumatic wreck that you and your ex were involved in..and what you went through is TRULY THE UNIMAGINABLE..but it sounds as tho you were almost fully running on shock combined with fierce amounts of adrenaline..But you do think that it was the beta blockers that you were taking at that time that kept you in such a calm demeanor amid the trauma of a fatal car wreck?
See..that's just mind blowing to me..and all I can think is possibly I was on very weak/low dosages of beta blockers..

 

[yllek]

"Awesome six months", "fantastic six months", "wonderful mother"...

Maybe it's just me, but most people I know don't describe themselves and their relationships with such grandiose adjectives unless they are trying to prove something to themselves or other people (usually something that isn't true).

What changed (if anything) in the last 6 months and how does it involve Hailey? Was Hailey involved in something or acting differently in the house during this time which was awesome for the wonderful couple but not so fantastic for Hailey? It really angers me how they minimize Hailey's presence - "we was all fine", "Hailey could borrow 10 bucks from him", "Hailey would throw grasshoppers on him for 5 bucks" (paraphrased) - all superficial and vapid. Hailey has no substance in their accounts of life at home. Hard not to get furious as more is learned about what/who she had to navigate every day.

Shawn's ability to think, much less say, he wants a "normal" life back and this "thing" is gonna blow over shows me he is ice cold. Anyone who loves a missing child with all of their heart knows that no matter what the outcome, it never blows over and normal is completely redefined. He doesn't feel that way, imo. He really does see this as a "mess" that he's starting to push out of the way, with a lot of help from his friend(s). And, I think his sentiments are encouraged and shared by his girlfriend...

I hope Hailey ran like the wind to find a place where she could continue to grow (or even just hide). Nobody seems to have grown much past a 13 year old mentality in the bunch that were in charge of her care...But, I fear that adults in her home contributed to stopping her growth permanently; just wasn't convenient for them to be challenged...

Sorry to be such a downer; very sad and worried for Hailey today. Still hoping she's alive, but Biilie's and Shawn's recent interviews (even Clint's latest behavior, to a lesser degree) make me wonder if Hailey's already being written off by some of those closest to her. That doesn't bode well for the outcome, imo... Reality is setting in (but hope is still putting up a fight)...
rayer:

 

[SNOWINMEMPHIS]

Hiya SNOWINMEMPHIS:seeya:
And boy did it ever "SNOWINMEMPHIS" today..lol..like ya said 4ins so far..supposed to get a couple more before midnite..but don't see it happening..ok..sorry..I'll take my punishment now

for going way off topic..

Back on topic...
With the talk of the beta blockers...Hhhmmm..I'd never even thought of those aiding in passing a poly...I know that you're told not to take certain meds for a certain amount of time prior to LDT being administered..But f have always heard that was just going on a person's word{and we know these folks word doesn't mean a thing}..but I've never heard of them drug testing prior to taking a poly to see if a person is under the influence of any meds that might alter the outcome of the LDT.. I'm definitely going to have to do a little researching in this area now that you guys have piqued my curiosity..

Years ago while in college I was diagnosed with the extremely common MVP{Mitro Valve Prolapse}..esp.common in women..they initially put me on a couple of different meds and played with doages and such for about a year..and since then(12-13yrs ago)I have taken absolutely NOTHING FOR THE MVP..Thank God I have never needed to..nor have I suffered any problems with it{every once in a while I'll have the little "flip-flop:..fluttering of my heart}other than that occasional flutter its been great..no probs..

But while playing around with those different meds and dosages I felt like hell..a real slug..drained..and no energy..Can't recall the names of the beta blockers I was on..but I do know that Inderal made me like a slug..But as far as it keeping me from feeling fear in a situation that normally I would be fearful in.. I definitely don't recall that being a side effect..Tho it very well may be that the dosages that I was weren't high enough for it to affect me in such a way..

As I said mainly sluggish to the MAXX..and that's the very reason that I demanded finally that I be off of them..I hated the way I felt...

Am gonna go do a little searching around about LDTs and the effects meds such as Beta blockers..as well as combining the Beta blockers with heavy sedatives such as Klonopin..Xanax..etc.. If those meds would/could possibly alter a LDT in a significant manner that would make a difference{i.e possibly NOT indicating deception..even tho the person is indeed BEING DECEPTIVE}

eta~SNOWINMEMPHIS..I also read your post about the traumatic wreck that you and your ex were involved in..and what you went through is TRULY THE UNIMAGINABLE..but it sounds as tho you were almost fully running on shock combined with fierce amounts of adrenaline..But you do think that it was the beta blockers that you were taking at that time that kept you in such a calm demeanor amid the trauma of a fatal car wreck?
See..that's just mind blowing to me..and all I can think is possibly I was on very weak/low dosages of beta blockers..

Hi neighbor!
See I had panic disorder and MVP.
The panic disorder was getting worse due to the MVP.
They kept me on atenolol for years, and yes it did make me low-energy at first.
The thing with me was that it took away all my fears.
And that is exactly what happened the night of that wreck.
If you never had panic disorder, then it probably wouldn't have made you fearless.
Be safe and don't go out if you don't have to my friend:seeya:
ETA: I think ConcernedMother said she had only been on her beta for about a month now and she still feels the fear/panic but doesn't have the physical symptoms and can work through her panic attacks now because of the betas.

 

[MD MOMMY]

Wouldn't it be something if Hailey set up BD and SA? And this is all to teach her family a lesson? I can dream, right?

 

[katydid23]

"Awesome six months", "fantastic six months", "wonderful mother"...

Maybe it's just me, but most people I know don't describe themselves and their relationships with such grandiose adjectives unless they are trying to prove something to themselves or other people (usually something that isn't true).

EXACTLY.

What changed (if anything) in the last 6 months and how does it involve Hailey? Was Hailey involved in something or acting differently in the house during this time which was awesome for the wonderful couple but not so fantastic for Hailey? It really angers me how they minimize Hailey's presence - "we was all fine", "Hailey could borrow 10 bucks from him", "Hailey would throw grasshoppers on him for 5 bucks" (paraphrased) - all superficial and vapid. Hailey has no substance in their accounts of life at home. Hard not to get furious as more is learned about what/who she had to navigate every day.

I am not sure what, if anything changed with Hailey, but she probably gave up on trying to convince her Mom how much Shawn scared her. Billie has always said it was 'only because he was replacing her Dad' that she was upset. But Billie could not have been listening because that was not the only issue at all. According to some friends and family, Shawn made her uncomfortable and she hated him and was afraid. So her mom discounted her fears and concerns and PAID HER to interact with him. Billie and Shawn both reiterated how much he and H 'liked to joke around' with each other. After looking at the various family web sites and videos I am going to assume that Shawn liked to scare people too.

Shawn's ability to think, much less say, he wants a "normal" life back and this "thing" is gonna blow over shows me he is ice cold. Anyone who loves a missing child with all of their heart knows that no matter what the outcome, it never blows over and normal is completely redefined. He doesn't feel that way, imo. He really does see this as a "mess" that he's starting to push out of the way, with a lot of help from his friend(s). And, I think his sentiments are encouraged and shared by his girlfriend...

Seriously. How the true Shawn peeks out through his carefully chosen words.
Even after all the planning, and thinking about what best to say, the real narcissistic, cold hearted creep leaks through. ' I am tired of staying inside, just want to go out and live my life, after this mess blows over, after this DIES DOWN enough , I mean...'

 

[txsvicki]

He sure doesn't seem very concerned that Haylie could have been grabbed off the street by some maniac, and is "absolutely" certain that she will come home. Still trying to insinuate that she ran off with that statement to Haylie. How disrespectful and dehumanizing to a little 13 year old girl. As if she is old enough to plot running away without a jacket, shoes, or anything.

 

[grandmaj]

Elevate your posts please. We have had to remove some things including name variations and other snarky remarks. Thanks.

 

[SmoothOperator]

KTAB interview part 2- aired 2/9 @12:00
Adins' Rocky Relationship with Billie
TT: What has life been like for you? What have you been up to?
SA 03) Um...I just been mainly, you know, just staying quiet. You know, staying out of the limelight, cuz a lot of negative things are being said about me. I'm just trying my hardest not to let it get to me, although it does sometimes. And you know,I'm just, the number one thing, I'm just still trying to keep hope that we'll bring Hailey home one day.
TT 25) So this far into you are still hopeful that she's going to be brought back?
SA 29) Absolutely
TT 30) And tell me just a little bit about what it's been like for you, this past almost 2 months now.
SA 35) It's been a little chaotic, you know, people have drove by this residence and screamed obscenities to me and it's been really hard. I don't know, I'm just, I don't know, tired of, you know, staying behind closed doors, you know and I'm just ready to get back out there and live my life normally again
TT 59) Is that why you decided to do this interview today?
SA (1:00) Yes
TT (1:01) What is the main thing you want people to know?
SA (1:04) One thing that I want them to know is that I have nothing to do with Hailey's disappearance. I love Hailey with all my heart and she means a lot to me. Even though I've known her for only 2 1/2 years, I would never do nothing to her and like I said, I just hope for her safe return.
TT (1:23) Now it is kind of the stereotype situation here, this is common in disappearance, you know, a lot of times it is, in a lot of cases it is the boyfriend that gets the blame and in a lot of cases it is actually the boyfriend that has something to do with it. Do you think that it's just a stereotype that's going on or do you think there's actual reasons?
SA (1:43) I feel like it's a stereotype. My main thought on it is that it's a witch hunt. Cuz I've been watching a lot of news shows. They've been so focused on me and they just, I feel like they just push Hailey to the side because they've been so focused on me. And a lot of people have feel that way too. And yeah, that's how I feel about that.
TT (2:06) Why do you think you're being looked at as a suspect?
SA (2:08) Mainly because I was the last one to see her and because of my polygraph results. Those are the 2 main things I can think of.
TT (2:20) Let's talk a little bit about the polygraph. Now you have openly said and Billie said, that both of you guys failed those
SA (2:26) Um hmm
TT (2:26) Do you think that that means anything and why haven't you taken another one?
SA (2:29) I haven't taken another one cuz they haven't asked me to take another one and my lawyers have been pretty,you know, persistent on me, just, you know, staying quiet for now until everything dies down. And then, like I said, I just felt like, you know, I think that things have died down enough to where I can put my word out there
TT (2:51) Alot of her friends have told us that she was actually afraid of you, that she felt uncomfortable with you in the house. I mean, tell me why are they saying that?
SA (2:59) I have no clue why they would say that cuz me and Hailey, I mean,her mom and her brother can also say that me and Hailey got along fine. We always joked around with each other. Sure, at first, when me and her mother started dating, we, she really didn't like me cuz she felt like I was taking her dad's place and I told her one day, Hailey, I'm just here to be your friend not your dad. Nothing more. And ever since we had that talk we got along just fine.
Me and Billie had a rocky relationship, but , you know, we'd always work things out and I don't know if Hailey or Dxxxx witnessed it, that might have, but like I said, me and Billie have had a rocky relationship but, over the past 6 months me and Billie had a fantastic relationship.
TT (3:48) So the frustration ,you know, from your fights with Billie, from that, that was never taken out on Hailey or anything?
SA (3:53) Never
TT (3:54) Any words or anything ever said to her?
SA (3:56) Never
TT (3:58) So now let's kind of talk..well first of all talk about Hailey...you said there was never anything taken out on her, but yet back to the affidavit, you admitted that there was a threat made to Billie and to Hailey.
SA (4:09) No. In those affidavits, I read those. That was incorrect. I never made any threats toward Hailey, it was just towards Billie.
TT (4:18) So you're saying the affidavits are incorrect?
SA (4:20) Absolutely
TT (4:21) There is a lot in those affidavits, so you're saying the threatening, the threats...even Billie admitted, well in the affidavits, that the threats were made. You're saying that that's not true at all?
SA (4:32) Uh no, just me threatening Billie, that was true. I never threatened...I never said I threatened Hailey as well.
TT (4:40) Tell me a little bit about those 911 calls that were released
SA (4:43) Those were made, probably like a year and a half ago. Me and Billie were split up but, you know, still had feelings for each other but a lot of things were just not working out. Things got bad sometimes , and that was one of those times that got bad.
TT (5:04) Now in the 911 call, one of them that was released, Billie said that you were going to go to her house and that she wanted an officer there because she didn't trust you to be in her house when Dxxxx was there, so if she's not trusting, there has to be a reason. Why wouldn't she want you there when she's not there?
SA (5:19) Dxxxx wasn't there. She didn't want me going over there to get my stuff without her there. I was just wanting to pick up some of my belongings , so that's why she didn't want me over there. She was afraid I would take something that I wasn't supposed to. So...
TT ( 5:38) What else can you tell me about those 911 calls? You said that Billie was gonna kill herself, tell me just a little more about those.
SA (5:44) Yeah, Billie and I were having problems. That was that same day I do believe and we were just having problems and , you know, I just felt like Billie was gonna harm herself. And I just felt obligated to call the police and let them know. Maybe do a welfare check cuz I was worried about her.
TT (6:06) Is that a common thing in the house?
SA (6:08) No. That was jut the worst of the worst right there. Billie, uh,she wasn't living at her house at the time. You know, we were just going through a lot of hardships.
TT (6:21) I know interviewing people out here, a lot of them won't even talk to me because they're afraid of what you're going to do to them. Why are people so afraid of you right now?
(Laughter is heard in the background, someone says "Oh God" and you hear a door slam)
SA (6:29)Um...I guess cuz of what they've heard on Nancy Grace...ummm. that they heard in the affidavits, but those are people that I don't even know and people that know me know that I would never do anything to them or to anybody. So nobody has nothing to worry about. I don't hold no grudges toward anybody.Despite what's being said about me. I know that sooner or later this is gonna blow over and life will go on. I'd just like to say something to Hailey. If she's out here watching. Hailey, I hope you come home safe really soon. You've been gone for way too long . We just really all miss you and we love you

Above B&UBM..
Sorry if this has been discussed am just now really being able to catch up with the last part of Shawn's "coming out of the dark' interviews..but hadn't seen this mentioned..

In the part Bolded and Underlined..so this was February 2010 when he made the death threats along with the all day long 911 calls btwn the two of them.. He states above that this was the worst of the worst of times for Billie and that she was not even living in her home{1804 Chestnut}..

So could someone shed some light exactly on where Billie was living at this time..why?..For how long? and where we her two children living at this time?..TIA to anyone who knows..

Just wanted to quickly add that if you go back to the actual 911 calls from February 2010{and I know that SA is referencing the same day and even the same 911 call that I am..}In the initail 911 call that Billie makes from her work to 911 asking for an officer to "keep and eye out" over at "her house" {1804 Chestnut} because her Ex-boyfriend that is MHMR says he is going to her home while he knows that she is not there to retrieve a "tshirt"..that he knows she doesn't lock doors or windows..and she doesn't want him there in "her home" without her being there..as an afterthought she adds that her son DD would also "be home" and she didn't want ex-bf{SA} to start anything with DD...

So does that make sense to anyone what exactly these two are talking about THIS TIME..He clearly states that this was the worst of times for Billie..so bad that she was not even living at 'her home' at that time..but then the 911 call from Billie states he is going to "her home" while she is not there..and that she doesn't trust him not to take stuff that isn't his such as TVs..Xbox..etc..and it is stated 1804 Chestnut in the 911 call when speaking of "her home" and wanting an officer to "keep an eye on it"..

So confused:crazy:

 

[crimejunkie]

Here are some things that bother me (I have MANY, but I'll spare you all from an even longer list of them, as I know this is LONG enough!):

1. BOTH of them mentioning the "last 6 months" specifically. As a part of my job in social work, I do LONG comprehensive interviews (parenting assessments and home-studies) with clients. During these, I ask lots of questions about relationships. A lot of times, these relationship have had a bad patch (who hasn't?) and the common response I get is, "things have been better *for a while*, for *several months*, for *some time now*, etc... If one says "6-months" the other may say " a few months" or " a long time", etc. I have noticed too that the male half of the relationships seem to keep less track of dates and time-frames too. Women tend to be able to tell you the day and time of when the couple met, what was said, what they were wearing, etc...lol, while the guy may not be so detailed. I guess if SA said, "things have been good since the summer" and BD said it's been good for the last "6-months" I'd feel better about it. I know this is just semantics, but it still bugs me and makes me think they are feeding off each other's media statements or parroting each other.

2. I've been in a bad relationship, am a d.v. survivor and have worked with many d.v. victims. Things don't just get magically better. You don't go from having your life (and others close to you) threatened to "awesome!" Even those who do couples counseling and eventually work it out, struggle for a long time to work out these issues. I just don't buy it.

3. The statements: "I know that sooner or later this is gonna blow over and life will go on" and BD's statement about "clearing up this mess" and SD's other statement about "wanting to get on with life (or back to normal)" (paraphrasing on the previous two statements). If my child was missing and most of the parents I have seen in cases of missing children, this wouldn't be a "mess," it would be/is a "nightmare" and there would be no "normal" after my child vanished nor would there be any "blowing over." I would never go back to "normal." My life would never be "normal" and things wouldn't "blow over." I wouldn't let them. I know evidentially parents of missing children have to learn how to keep living, how to build a different life (one without their precious child), but NEVER have I seen a (genuine) parent of a missing child or even someone who cares deeply for a child they were close with (like SA claims) be ready after a month an a half ready to get back to normal, move on, clear up the mess, and discuss wanting the whole situation to just blow over! This just blows my mind with both of them! I don't get it. It reminds me of Scott Peterson trying to sell his house and selling Laci's car. How can it be business as usual when someone you love is missing?!!! The only way that I see this being the case is if you *know* they aren't coming back and/or you are tired of pretending that they might be when you know differently.

I would be surprised if SA *didn't* move back in with BD very soon! I think this whole P.R. thing with SA is all about image, so they can be back together without sneaking around and/or without BD looking bad. I think BD believes that her media stint helped "rule her out" as a suspect (I have an opinion on LE's alterer motive with that, but I'll refrain from that rant right now) and they are hoping that this will work for SA too, so they can "get back to normal." I mean think about this....what is a "normal" life for SA: 1. Living with BD 2. Having a relationship 3. Enjoying his hobbies 4. Using drugs (imo opinion based on the affidavits) 5. Working (he'll probably need this to blow over to get a job in that town right now). Isn't this what he is wanting to get back too? He wants normalcy a month and a half after someone close to him has been "snatched" (according to one of BD's theories). How is life normal after someone you love is abducted??????? Ugh....sorry....don't mean to ramble, but I am so frustrated by this. Ok, that's my theory. I'll stop now!

 

[katydid23]

SmoothO,
NICE catch. I didn't catch that little tidbit about Billie 'not living at home' last Valentine's Day. Wonder what is up there.

CrimeJunkie,
Great Post. I agree with all of your points. I am sure they were comparing notes and creating 'talking points.' They also both say " Hailey and Shawn Got along great and loved to joke around together" ='joking around together' seems to be their talking point there.

And since you mentioned living through and working with survivors of DV you might have gotten the same feeling I did about their insistence in describing the 'joking around'
theme.

In my experience, abusers LOVE to joke around, and tease, and make fun of, and degrade others, especially their victims. Men often tickle and wrestle with and horse around with their younger victims, especially in public and around other family, as a way of controlling them and messing with them.

And ITA about parents of missing or lost children NEVER expecting anything close to normalcy in 6 weeks time. He acts as if everything is cool now and they can just get back to 'normal.'

 

[crimejunkie]

SmoothO,
NICE catch. I didn't catch that little tidbit about Billie 'not living at home' last Valentine's Day. Wonder what is up there.

CrimeJunkie,
Great Post. I agree with all of your points. I am sure they were comparing notes and creating 'talking points.' They also both say " Hailey and Shawn Got along great and loved to joke around together" ='joking around together' seems to be their talking point there.

And since you mentioned living through and working with survivors of DV you might have gotten the same feeling I did about their insistence in describing the 'joking around'
theme.

In my experience, abusers LOVE to joke around, and tease, and make fun of, and degrade others, especially their victims. Men often tickle and wrestle with and horse around with their younger victims, especially in public and around other family, as a way of controlling them and messing with them.

And ITA about parents of missing or lost children NEVER expecting anything close to normalcy in 6 weeks time. He acts as if everything is cool now and they can just get back to 'normal.'

ITA and think you totally hit the nail on the head on about that joking around thing. My abuser did it ((Mine used to do it to his son all the time too and it always made me so uncomfortable) and so did many of the victim's abusers I've worked with. Not to mention, it is on just about every list of emotional abuse that I've seen, because it is such a common tacit they like to use, but one that you may not always recognize upfront as being abusive. You know, it's easy to write off and turn around on the victim...."what are you upset about...I was just joking!" or "You can't take a joke....you are so sensitive!" etc... I did get that immediately too, but didn't catch on to it until BD was talking about their relationship on the radio show and described it as "they liked to play practical jokes on each other." That's when it hit me and I said aloud, "I bet he put on that mask and scared Hailey as a "practical Joke" too." You are right....always the joking thing....why isn't there more to their relationship than just practical jokes? There is no other activities mentioned, no video games, movies, sports, etc....the joking is what really stood out in BD's mind when asked this question.

I also caught onto BD "paying" HD 5 bucks for throwing the bug on SA. If this was something HD enjoyed, you wouldn't have to pay her to do it. To me, that says she didn't want to to it and it was BD's IDEA who then paid HD to make it happen. I even wondered if that was BD's way to try to get HD to "get along" with SA...for example....she may encourage her to do this "funny" thing to SA to lighten the mood between them and when HD doesn't want to she offers to pay her. Then she presents it to SA as...."see, she likes you now, she played a practical joke on you," etc.... I don't know that paying thing bothered me!

Good points Katy! Thanks for bringing that up. I had forgotten about that in all of the frustration of the other stuff and I do think it's really important in understand the relationship dynamics between all three of them.

 

[my_tee_mouse]

My head hurts just thinking of all the possibilities of this case!!
Honestly, I need a nap.
It has snowed about 4inches here so far, as I'm sure SmoothOperator knows (hey there SO!).
And I know what the weather is like down around CC.
Hailey, I gotta take a break and reboot my brain but I pray that you aren't cold tonight.
I think I have to go have a good cry now
I remember being Hailey's age with my whole life ahead of me....such a wonderful time turning into a young lady.....where oh where are you tonight dear?

We got 18", and some places up my way got 30"! And the current temp: -16 degrees!!!!!

I think Mr. SA fancies himself a celebrity right now, right down to his tacky cheap shades. The more time passes, the more cocky he'll get. And the more people will loosen up and talk (and we're seeing that happen). About three weeks ago I decided LE would play this as a waiting game...the ole "give 'em enough rope and they'll hang themselves." I see the rope coils unfurling. Hopefully the noose won't be too far behind.

Just how long will people be willing to foot BD's bills? Just how long before her job goes bye-bye? And who is going to hire SA? Things are going to get mighty tough for the two of them, especially once he moves back in. There is always going to be a shadow hanging over their heads. They are marked people. Someone's going to turn on the other. It will be interesting to watch it play out.

 

[Truthwillsetufree]

Here are some things that bother me (I have MANY, but I'll spare you all from an even longer list of them, as I know this is LONG enough!):

1. BOTH of them mentioning the "last 6 months" specifically. As a part of my job in social work, I do LONG comprehensive interviews (parenting assessments and home-studies) with clients. During these, I ask lots of questions about relationships. A lot of times, these relationship have had a bad patch (who hasn't?) and the common response I get is, "things have been better *for a while*, for *several months*, for *some time now*, etc... If one says "6-months" the other may say " a few months" or " a long time", etc. I have noticed too that the male half of the relationships seem to keep less track of dates and time-frames too. Women tend to be able to tell you the day and time of when the couple met, what was said, what they were wearing, etc...lol, while the guy may not be so detailed. I guess if SA said, "things have been good since the summer" and BD said it's been good for the last "6-months" I'd feel better about it. I know this is just semantics, but it still bugs me and makes me think they are feeding off each other's media statements or parroting each other.

2. I've been in a bad relationship, am a d.v. survivor and have worked with many d.v. victims. Things don't just get magically better. You don't go from having your life (and others close to you) threatened to "awesome!" Even those who do couples counseling and eventually work it out, struggle for a long time to work out these issues. I just don't buy it.

3. The statements: "I know that sooner or later this is gonna blow over and life will go on" and BD's statement about "clearing up this mess" and SD's other statement about "wanting to get on with life (or back to normal)" (paraphrasing on the previous two statements). If my child was missing and most of the parents I have seen in cases of missing children, this wouldn't be a "mess," it would be/is a "nightmare" and there would be no "normal" after my child vanished nor would there be any "blowing over." I would never go back to "normal." My life would never be "normal" and things wouldn't "blow over." I wouldn't let them. I know evidentially parents of missing children have to learn how to keep living, how to build a different life (one without their precious child), but NEVER have I seen a (genuine) parent of a missing child or even someone who cares deeply for a child they were close with (like SA claims) be ready after a month an a half ready to get back to normal, move on, clear up the mess, and discuss wanting the whole situation to just blow over! This just blows my mind with both of them! I don't get it. It reminds me of Scott Peterson trying to sell his house and selling Laci's car. How can it be business as usual when someone you love is missing?!!! The only way that I see this being the case is if you *know* they aren't coming back and/or you are tired of pretending that they might be when you know differently.

I would be surprised if SA *didn't* move back in with BD very soon! I think this whole P.R. thing with SA is all about image, so they can be back together without sneaking around and/or without BD looking bad. I think BD believes that her media stint helped "rule her out" as a suspect (I have an opinion on LE's alterer motive with that, but I'll refrain from that rant right now) and they are hoping that this will work for SA too, so they can "get back to normal." I mean think about this....what is a "normal" life for SA: 1. Living with BD 2. Having a relationship 3. Enjoying his hobbies 4. Using drugs (imo opinion based on the affidavits) 5. Working (he'll probably need this to blow over to get a job in that town right now). Isn't this what he is wanting to get back too? He wants normalcy a month and a half after someone close to him has been "snatched" (according to one of BD's theories). How is life normal after someone you love is abducted??????? Ugh....sorry....don't mean to ramble, but I am so frustrated by this. Ok, that's my theory. I'll stop now!

BBM- Great post especially the part I bolded and it pushed me to having this thought....My kids are grown, have left the house and have lives of their own but I still have to talk to them everyday or at least every other day. I would be out of my mind worried if I did not. If my children were missing, life would not go on, nor would the mess blow over, nothing would be normal until they were home safe and sound.

 

[Truthwillsetufree]

ITA and think you totally hit the nail on the head on about that joking around thing. My abuser did it ((Mine used to do it to his son all the time too and it always made me so uncomfortable) and so did many of the victim's abusers I've worked with. Not to mention, it is on just about every list of emotional abuse that I've seen, because it is such a common tacit they like to use, but one that you may not always recognize upfront as being abusive. You know, it's easy to write off and turn around on the victim...."what are you upset about...I was just joking!" or "You can't take a joke....you are so sensitive!" etc... I did get that immediately too, but didn't catch on to it until BD was talking about their relationship on the radio show and described it as "they liked to play practical jokes on each other." That's when it hit me and I said aloud, "I bet he put on that mask and scared Hailey as a "practical Joke" too." You are right....always the joking thing....why isn't there more to their relationship than just practical jokes? There is no other activities mentioned, no video games, movies, sports, etc....the joking is what really stood out in BD's mind when asked this question.

I also caught onto BD "paying" HD 5 bucks for throwing the bug on SA. If this was something HD enjoyed, you wouldn't have to pay her to do it. To me, that says she didn't want to to it and it was BD's IDEA who then paid HD to make it happen. I even wondered if that was BD's way to try to get HD to "get along" with SA...for example....she may encourage her to do this "funny" thing to SA to lighten the mood between them and when HD doesn't want to she offers to pay her. Then she presents it to SA as...."see, she likes you now, she played a practical joke on you," etc.... I don't know that paying thing bothered me!

Good points Katy! Thanks for bringing that up. I had forgotten about that in all of the frustration of the other stuff and I do think it's really important in understand the relationship dynamics between all three of them.

BBM- Tickling!!! I hate it when older people tickle little kids. "Why is he crying, I was only tickling him"? I hate tickling...it's not funny!

 

[Jo in Calif]

The kidding around thing, that's the only kind of interacting, that Billie and Shawn could come up with, after 2&1/2 years, of Hailey being in his life.
Where are the things that Hailey did with her dad and N?
Did they not ever go anywhere together, as a family?
Do anything together, as a family?
If in that length of time, the only thing that Shawn ever did to interact with Hailey, was play practical jokes, on each other, no wonder Hailey didn't want to stay there.
I realize that everyday can't be Disneyland, but there are little things that they could do as a family, to make kids want to be home.
Shawn and Billie, IMO, seemed to be so concerned about making their relationship, "awesome," in the last 6 months, they forgot there were 2 children involved. Were they not trying to make an awesome family life for them also?

 

[hollyblue]

"I'm just ready to get out there and live my life again."

I need a 'hair standing on end' smiley.

 

[hollyblue]

"And then, like I said, I just felt like, you know, I think that things have died down enough to where I can put my word out there."


I think this about sums it up.

And this:

SA (6:29)Um...I guess cuz of what they've heard on Nancy Grace...ummm. that they heard in the affidavits, but those are people that I don't even know and people that know me know that I would never do anything to them or to anybody. So nobody has nothing to worry about. I don't hold no grudges toward anybody.Despite what's being said about me. I know that sooner or later this is gonna blow over and life will go on. I'd just like to say something to Hailey. If she's out here watching. Hailey, I hope you come home safe really soon. You've been gone for way too long . We just really all miss you and we love you

 

[dog.gone.cute]

The kidding around thing, that's the only kind of interacting, that Billie and Shawn could come up with, after 2&1/2 years, of Hailey being in his life.
Where are the things that Hailey did with her dad and N?
Did they not ever go anywhere together, as a family?
Do anything together, as a family?
If in that length of time, the only thing that Shawn ever did to interact with Hailey, was play practical jokes, on each other, no wonder Hailey didn't want to stay there.
I realize that everyday can't be Disneyland, but there are little things that they could do as a family, to make kids want to be home.
Shawn and Billie, IMO, seemed to be so concerned about making their relationship, "awesome," in the last 6 months, they forgot there were 2 children involved. Were they not trying to make an awesome family life for them also?

I totally agree -- these are some Excellent points !

You are correct --what DID they do together as a family ?

I don't recall hearing anything like "Hailey loved for us to take her to the movie and the park" ... or "Hailey loved for us to take her out for pizza" ... know what I mean ?

What is truly said is that we know that Hailey was not a priority in the life of this dysfunctional family. :sick:

As to the "play practical jokes" -- what a joke !

Prayers for Hailey, and those who truly love her !

Hope

 

[TexasGiGi]

The grasshopper thing, BD had to pay HD to "tease" SA by throwing grasshoppers on him because he was afraid of them. I wonder how many times he "teased" her back with whatever it was she was afraid of. It's so sad to think that way, but I think he did. Maybe she was afraid when he wore his masks. We know she was afraid when he stood outside her door at night. Maybe he sometimes wore his masks when he did that. That would be horrifying!