3 year-old Kicked Off Plane After Tantrum

[KT Can]

...I heard the father yell at the top of HIS lungs, "It's okay, Tommy. Keep screaming. We're not at the f'ing Hilton." I'm sorry- bad behavior is excusable if you're in a diner and not out at the Ritz-Carlton??? *boggle* *brain breaks*

Incredible. :waitasec: Are you sure you weren't on the set of Talledega Nights and that wasn't Will Ferrell???

 

[Daisy]

Hi Daisy! How are ya? :blowkiss: I agree, what goes around comes around, no matter what your parents do (or don't do)! Students often threaten to sue teachers but you don't hear that on the playground. Kids who are allowed to makes spectacles of themselves will eventually feel the pain. We don't do them any good by allowing that kind of behavior - mama and daddy won't always be there.


Eve

Hi right back at ya Eve! :blowkiss: I agree 100% with what you said!

 

[Daisy]

I just saw an interview w/ the parents on Fox News. As the mother is saying how humiliating it was, the little girl is climbing up behind her on the couch. From what I saw, that little girl lacks discipline.

Pictures (in this case the TV) are worth a thousand words, huh?

 

[Daisy]

Only a matter of time before dad is bailing Tommy out of jail.

And that's the Hilton either.

 

[Dalilah]

There is an ocean of difference between spanking and abuse.

Anyway, I have a severely mentally ill teenage daughter who, when she was young would throw some really crazy tantrums. These tantrums where beyond humiliating and terrifying. They were out-and-out psychotic fits. No matter what I did, she would calm down when she was ready. I have been on the receiving end of some pretty hurtful comments and accusations from bystanders to these fits ranging from implying that I 'made her' that way to accusing me of ignoring her behavior or failing to discipline her. It is easy to assume the worst and place blame, I suppose.

So, I guess what I wanted to say is that we don't know what caused this child's trantrum and it really is none of our concern what caused it. The airline acted appropriately in preserving the flight for the remainder of the passengers. I, personally, would have removed my child from the flight without having to be asked. But, then, I have had a ton of experience in this department and would have known what to expect.

 

[FlowerChild]

We travel by plane a LOT - both domestically and internationally. Children under the age of 7 are a FREQUENT problem on these flights. We have been delayed more than once by parents with uncontrolled children or by their inability to have courtesy for others by say WAITING to deplane until the other passengers have gotten off. The children ruin entire flights for 100+ others. They talk loudly, they scream, they cry, they fidgit, they will not stay buckled or IN their seat, they kick, they spill, they throw tantums (and their toys), they hit (their parents, their siblings, the attendants), they run the aisle(s), the parents carry them thru the aisles (while they kick other passenger's heads). And more times than not, if the kids act-up when boarding the behavior continues the entire flight. And I do not believe these children all suffer from ear pain. They suffer from poor and ineffective parenting as well as their parents absolute certainty that everyone should accomodate them and their child.

The parents in many cases do nothing - acting as if THEY have the RIGHT to annoy others and getting defensive when they are asked to respect other passengers. They take FOREVER to board and deplane, despite holding up other passengers. They ask for special treatment and get angry when they do not get it. They also get very angry if another passenger asks for their child to stop annoying them by doing things like kicking, throwing things, hanging over the seat in front of them, sticking hands and feet through armrests and seat sides, crawling under the seats, wiping food and liquid on everything they touch - the list is LONG.

Parents with unruly, out of control kids should be removed from flights. In the past 5 years this problem has grown to extreme proportions - where it used to be rare, now it seem to be common and yes, even acceptable. Now the public is EXPECTED to accomodate too young and ill-behaved children no matter WHAT the circumstances. Expensive restaurants, funerals, weddings, cruises, overseas flights, movies, concerts, museums, church services .... well just about anywhere that isn't grossly inappropriate.

Perhaps airlines could offer special "family flights" where the parents can ALL enjoy other people's children for 3 or 4 or more hours. I think I would pay extra to fly on flights without small children. In fact I would appreciate MORE adult only activities and places. It really offends me to pay for an expensive dinner - at 9PM or later and be subjected to an overtired baby fussing and ill-behaved children. It offends me to go to a late movie rated R and be subjected to restless, bored talking children and crying infants. I try to be understanding when children run thru stores and act like wild animals while the parents ignore their children's bad behavior or make idle threats of time-outs because I can speak to the manager and leave. I cannot leave a flight or a movie or dinner I have already paid for and complaining rarely gets anything other than an apology.

Forget giving the parents free airline tickets - they should be giving the OTHER PASSENGERS the free tickets for putting up with delays and harrassment.

And I ALWAYS compliment parents with well behaved children. I also find it culturally significant that in other countries children seem to be better behaved and overt displays of discipline are rarely seen - the "look" seems to suffice there - like it used to suffice here. In fact rarely in Europe, do such wild outbursts occur and when they do, the parent either handles it in seconds or removes the child. It is so much more pleasant to do things without children running uncontrolled thru stores, restaurants, museums, and public places (other than playgrounds or amusements). What are THEY doing different?

 

[OneLostGrl]

I agree with everyone who said that the mother sounds like she's trying to justify her daughter's behavior with the story about the ear pain. It doesn't really matter why the child was acting that way. The rest of the plane shouldn't have to wait over 15 minutes for a temper tantrum, period. The parents should either be able to control their child or get off the plane. I'm sure the parents would be complaining if the plane left the gate with the kid sitting on the floor and she got injured somehow. What did they expect, for everyone to just sit there indefinitely? I think they got much more in compensation than they deserved, and they should stop whining.

It seems like there's an epidemic of bad parenting these days. On every flight I've taken in the past decade, there is at least one child screaming or kicking someone's seat whose parents are just ignoring the behavior. Parents shouldn't expect the rest of the world to have to tolerate that for hours at a time. Once I even asked a kid to stop kicking my seat (after about 15 minutes) and the mother looked at me like I was the one behaving badly!

I had a Psychiatrist appoinment yesterday ang ended up having to wait much longer than usual. During that time a mother and her 3 children (the kids looked about 10, 8 and 6) came in and seated themselves next to me.

The mother took the oldest of the kids with her into the Dr.s office and left the others in the waiting area. Less than 5 minutes after the mother was gone the girls were running around, yelling and laughing and striking one another. I kept just lookin' at them, hoping they would take a hint.

I have NEVER corrected another persons children before but after dealing with it for 30 minutes, I finally looked up and said "Shhh!- people are trying to talk to their doctors!"

They found that even more amusing then running around like wild animals in a public place. Finally I said "Do you think your mother can't hear you? Cuz I bet she can!"

Thankfully that shut them up but when mom came out of the doctors office they ran to her and whispered.. the mother stared at me as if I'd beaten her children and informed me I had no right to correct her children. To which I responded that she had no right to leave them there with me being the only adult in the room and perhaps next time she should leave them at school or PAY someone to watch them!

She shut up and left the building.

 

[OneLostGrl]

what, is the kid retarded or something?? i'm sorry-- but at age THREE a child should be able to verbally convey that they experienced ear pain... at least point to her ear or something. what is this "we think" she experienced ear pain... i don't believe the mother one bit-- now she just wants to go on TV and get all this attention and vilify the airline because she is a crappy parent.. and she wants to try to make the world believe that her kid is a little victim who can do no wrong. sorry, lady-- AIN'T BUYIN' IT. your kid's a brat,, DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw.. i have never seen little tiny children beat on their parents with their fists until a few years ago.. apparently now this is acceptable. and i can think of one instance where the child had turned into the exorcist and was pummeling her mom, screaming "i hate you i hate you i hate you" .. and still the spineless excuse for a mother was like "ooh.. umm, oh-- could you just-- oh, come on honey,, please don't- ouch-- oh, Ok.. honey please, why don't we.. OW-- um,, OK... " bunch of damn wimps if you ask me. i want to give the parents like this a good hard WHOP upside the head and then whop their damn kid!! geeeeez.

this is why i love 'stuart' from MAD TV so much... cracks me up.. LOL

RETARDED?!?! Unreal, reb! I can't believe that just came out of an adults mouth! If your child had a tantrum is that what you would SAY to her/him? There is a name for that- emotional abuse!

Sticks and stones will break my bones but names can never hurt me has been found to be untrue. Emotional abuse, in my opinion is just as bad, if not, worse than physical abuse!

I have a foster son who is extremely damaged due to a life of emotional abuse.

We are all supposed to be adults here, one would think we'd know how to think before we speak!

 

[Jeana (DP)]

I agree. Please let's keep the name calling off of the forum.

 

[Smurf]

We were camping once and packing up to leave. The owner lady drove over and told me that my kids had been very well behaved and thanked me. She said kids usually destroyed the bathrooms etc. etc. My kids better not ever destroy a public bathroom anywhere.

I have caught the teen I was discussing earlier throwing her trash from a fast food place on the ground in the parking lot without so much as a backward glance.

I don't want my kids to slob up the world so other people have to deal with their mess. That is something I want them to be conscious of. Those children you are all speaking of that are allowed to do all those things on a plane or restaurant are the ones who slob up the world and vandalize things, then steal and all that comes after that. Don't people see the vicious cycle?

 

[Dalilah]

I would like to point out that retarded is not a bad word. It is a condition. I suppose offense could be construed from the tone of the post, however, the way I read it, it seemed to be a legit question.

 

[IrishMist]

I'm confused. Is "retarded" a name, or a condition?

When I was young, we had a retarded neighbor, and I have a friend who's brother is retarded. Not trying to be rude or offensive... just trying to clarify.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

I would like to point out that retarded is not a bad word. It is a condition. I suppose offense could be construed from the tone of the post, however, the way I read it, it seemed to be a legit question.

"Mentally retarded" is "both a term no longer regularly used in the disability community (we now use developmental or intellectual disability), and also phrased in a way that is not appropriate. In the disability community, we use 'people first' language; for example, we refer to 'people with developmental disabilities' rather than 'the disabled.'"

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/rawfisher/2006/06/retarded_disabled_people_with.html

 

[jilly]

You know they make medication for that. Numbing ear drops - they are great. My 5 month old and 5 year old both used them back and forth to Mexico last December. Also, having the kid chew gum would have helped too. That could have been helped.
I guess hindsight is 20/20 for this couple huh?

I know. It irritates the heck out of me when I see small children with ear problems having to suffer. So unnecessary. Even years ago when my kids were small I gave them a shot of dimetapp before taking off. Never had a problem and they're both fine today.

 

[IrishMist]

"Mentally retarded" is "both a term no longer regularly used in the disability community (we now use developmental or intellectual disability), and also phrased in a way that is not appropriate. In the disability community, we use 'people first' language; for example, we refer to 'people with developmental disabilities' rather than 'the disabled.'"

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/rawfisher/2006/06/retarded_disabled_people_with.html

I didn't know that. I wonder if my friend does.

 

[Daisy]

I miss the good ol' days of "children should be seen and not heard". I shudder to think what kind of people some of these children who have been passively parented will grow up to be. I'm not saying ALL of today's kids are going to be Satan In Disguise but straws show which way the wind blows.

 

[JanetElaine]

We travel by plane a LOT - both domestically and internationally. Children under the age of 7 are a FREQUENT problem on these flights. ...........
Perhaps airlines could offer special "family flights" where the parents can ALL enjoy other people's children for 3 or 4 or more hours.

O heck no! Please spare me! LOL

We fly about 3 times a year (adding up to a total of 12 different planes) internationally (part domestic) and have done so since our daughter was 2. She's a third-grader now. Although we have never experienced any delays due to small children, we did suffer through youngsters kicking the backs of our seats, peeking between the seats and keeping staring or trying to grab things off of our trays etc.. It was a precious moment when our then 5 year old whispered in my ear "mom, can't their parents do something about them?!?".

She's always been a very wellbehaved traveller - the only time she caused 'trouble' was when she got sick on her first flight. She threw up all over me and her and obviously we had to fuss around to get everything cleaned up etc., and I'm sure some people were annoyed with the isle being more or less blocked temporarily. (For some reason thank goodness it didn't smell, and she turned out not to be air sick -which we thought- but just plain ol' sick).

We never 'drugged' her, and she has always had her own carry-on filled with books, coloring books, cd-player and other small toys and games. I always brought (actually still do) her own child-sized sleeping bag (bah humbug at the flimsy airline blankets) which she snuggles up in as soon as we're allowed to move after take-off.

I have gotten weird stares from fellow passengers when I roll up the sleeping bag at the end of the flight - some have actually told me they hadn't realized they were sitting near a child. In fact, when she was 3, the people sitting directly in front of us turned around in surprise when getting ready to deplane and said they never even knew she was there. Now I don't need my child to be invisible, but for being on a plane - that was a huge compliment.

Trust me, when she sees kids in the waiting area of the plane she always whispers she hopes they're not anywhere near us.... LOL!

I also find it culturally significant that in other countries children seem to be better behaved and overt displays of discipline are rarely seen - the "look" seems to suffice there - like it used to suffice here. In fact rarely in Europe, do such wild outbursts occur and when they do, the parent either handles it in seconds or removes the child. It is so much more pleasant to do things without children running uncontrolled thru stores, restaurants, museums, and public places (other than playgrounds or amusements). What are THEY doing different?

You know, what is strange is that I see it the other way around... exactly what you are saying about "in Europe", I would say about "in the US". After having moved from Europe to the US it was a relief to find that parents actually raise their children here. Of course I found exeptions to that, but in general I find children in the US a lot better behaved than European ones, and that goes all the way from the little ones to the teens.

 

[Gmommy]

It was a precious moment when our then 5 year old whispered in my ear "mom, can't their parents do something about them?!?".

I love that!

Next time you are stuck in front of a kicking, bratty kid ask their parent loudly if they will trade seats with you so that their child can kick mommy or daddy's chair...works like a charm

 

[pedinurse]

Thank you for being the voice of reason! I wasnt going to post on this thread due to me being the only one to NOT feel this justified violence. Thank you for saying so. Even if it wasnt ear pain dear lord how would you feel as an adult if everytime you became mad you were beat? Blood flow is not even available to the reasoning part of the brain till the age of around 3 and not fully developed till 8 years old. How can they be reasonable? The reason why they behave SO well when they are spanked is because they are frightened. Discipline and anger from the parent are two different things.

How is hitting a child going to teach them anything about not hitting except you can only get away with it if you are bigger??

I personally dont take my child on flights because its very hard on a child of that age to be cooped up in a seat for hours.

Mygirlsadie- Im sure this was meant jokingly but dimetapp should not be taken lightly. My nephew was in the hospital not long ago, he is 1, and he was completely stuffed up. The hospital will not give them it because of so many side effects from it legally anymore.

Tissue that doesn't receive blood flow dies. So that statement is not quite true.

What is more true is that it is not emotionally or developmentally possible / appropriate to expect a small child to reason. Children / adults / people go through many stages of development, and each stage must be completed before going onto the next. Reasoning does come at a higher level than is usually expected from a 3 year old. But a three year old should be able to follow simple directions and be responsive to redirection / comfort techniques from a caregiver or person "in charge".

 

[southcitymom]

I miss the good ol' days of "children should be seen and not heard". I shudder to think what kind of people some of these children who have been passively parented will grow up to be. I'm not saying ALL of today's kids are going to be Satan In Disguise but straws show which way the wind blows.

Every generation thinks the following generations are going to be the ruin of us all. The complaints about ill-behaved children being made in this thread were the same complaints being made years ago when we (the current day complainers) were those ill-behaved children.

Maybe it's human nature to think this way as we age. It makes me chuckle. Our children will be bemoaning the exact same things about their children and granchildren long after we're out of here.