Don't know if you are a parent, but I raised 3 kids and I'm hear to tell you it's a crap shoot. It's a combination of nature and nurture. Nurture can modify but not overcome a kid's basic nature, not unless the kid agrees to change.
I have one child who from a very young age decided that he didn't have to listen or do anything he didn't want to. We had him in and out of counseling since the age of 3 -- that's not a typo. By the time he was three we knew we had a very serious problem on our hands. Little did we know it would only get worse.
Here's the sad but very true reality of parenting a child. The only power a parent has over their child is the power the child allows them to have.
Once they decide not to listen there is not a whole lot you can do. You can't actually force them to go to school short of chaining them to a desk, which you can't do. You can't force them to do homework or housework for that matter. You can't force them to be honest or loving or caring.
We were hauled ad infinitum into school and threatened because he kept cutting classes. He stole our cars and wrecked them. We reported him to the police, but they refused to file charges.
Our whole family was hostage to his behavior. We were helpless and we had to house, feed and clothe him until he was 18. He always manged to never get caught crossing the line. The law said we were responsible for his actions, but we had no tools to make him listen or follow the rules.
When I watched her parents' interviews, I saw two people who had decades of trying to help their daughter and realized the futility of it. My heart went out to them.
It's really easy to sit and blame the family but the fact that her parents called the cops told me they had been trying for years to get her under control. Hence their desperation of turning their own child in.
You can't force a child to accept help. My son sat in therapy week after week for years on end refusing to participate. We tried individual, family, group sessions. We tried MFCC's, psychologists, shrinks. We tried meds (which he refused to take). We tried and tried and tried. And he just said "You can't make me" and did whatever he wanted.
I haven't seen my son in years. I love him, I worry about him, but I know full well what he is and I know that we tried to "fix" him and "failed". I been waiting for the call from the police since he was a pre-teen. It hasn't come yet and I pray it never will but if it does I won't be shocked and I know we will be blamed.
CMJA didn't happen overnight, but that doesn't mean her parents made her. It could just mean they couldn't "unmake" here.
