Alleged abuse photos

[DogMom2JoeAndWillie]

Okay, I'm obviously not communicating clearly...so I'll try to make my point as easy to understand and difficult to misinterpret as possible this time:
1. ALL ABUSE SHOULD BE REPORTED AND INVESTIGATED, but reporting it sooner than later is preferable.
2. The TIMING seems suspicious, and so do many other things about this case.
3. Of course, the kids should be able to live in a safe home and the situation should be checked out.
As for anything in my post that sounded presumptuous or whatever else you want to call it....everything in this board has been an interpretation or analysis of the alleged abuse photos...so of course I'm making my own assumptions and developing my own opinions. I haven't taken a position on whether or not I think the pictures show abuse, but I am taking a position on the fact that it should have been reported IMMEDIATELY if it was suspected. Had it been reported immediately, they might not have been in this situation to begin with. Hopefully it will all end up okay...Haleigh will come home and the two children will be able to live in healthy homes free from abuse, drugs, violence, etc.

Sorry this is OT, but does anyone know why the mother doesn't have custody in the first place?? The only thing I recall hearing is RC telling NC that CS didn't show up for court.

 

[kiki the parrot]

With all due respect, if we went by this post, then Crystal is not smart enough to take care of any children.

Some people keep saying she didn't know what to do or how to do it. A mother will do whatever it takes to keep her children safe. If Crystal couldn't do it, then she shouldn't have the children IMO.

PS I am not calling Crystal stupid. I'm saying that many people are making her seem that way.

W all due respect, clearly intelligence and education is not the issue or the children would never have been entrusted to Misty. It seems naive to suggest there is always equal treatment w/in the courts or by the justice system. Most here are referring to the challenge Crystal (and many like her) faced in navigating a legal system w disparities in income, resources, and inadequate representation. The solution is NEVER to simply ignore reports of abuse--from multiple sources--to either return one child or continue entrusting the other remaining child to the care or custody from which one child has already disappeared and w someone about whom there are many questions.

Okay, I'm obviously not communicating clearly...so I'll try to make my point as easy to understand and difficult to misinterpret as possible this time:
1. ALL ABUSE SHOULD BE REPORTED AND INVESTIGATED, but reporting it sooner than later is preferable.
2. The TIMING seems suspicious, and so do many other things about this case.
3. Of course, the kids should be able to live in a safe home and the situation should be checked out.
As for anything in my post that sounded presumptuous or whatever else you want to call it....everything in this board has been an interpretation or analysis of the alleged abuse photos...so of course I'm making my own assumptions and developing my own opinions. I haven't taken a position on whether or not I think the pictures show abuse, but I am taking a position on the fact that it should have been reported IMMEDIATELY if it was suspected. Had it been reported immediately, they might not have been in this situation to begin with. Hopefully it will all end up okay...Haleigh will come home and the two children will be able to live in healthy homes free from abuse, drugs, violence, etc.

Sorry this is OT, but does anyone know why the mother doesn't have custody in the first place?? The only thing I recall hearing is RC telling NC that CS didn't show up for court.

No you've made yourself clear--and those issues have been addressed. JMO

arrot:

 

[Tichad3]

W all due respect, clearly intelligence and education is not the issue or the children would never have been entrusted to Misty. It seems naive to suggest there is always equal treatment w/in the courts or by the justice system. Most here are referring to the challenge she faced in navigating a legal system w disparities in income, resources and inadequate representation. The solution is NEVER to simply ignore reports of abuse from multiple sources, to either return one child or continuing to leave the other remaining chld in the care or custody from which one child disappeared and someone about whom there are many questions.


Snipped by me:

Crystal HAD adequate representation. You have stated over and over again that she did not. Where are you getting this from?

The disparities in income could have been overcome if she had gotten a job. No one stopped her from doing so. That is her OWN fault.

And what other resources are you referring to?

Also, who are the "multiple" people claiming abuse? Crystal, her family members, and an ex girlfriend of Ron's are the only ones I know about. And a judge will listen to them at his or her own discretion as they are clearly biased witnesses.

 

[debs]

Snipped by me:

Crystal HAD adequate representation. You have stated over and over again that she did not. Where are you getting this from?

The disparities in income could have been overcome if she had gotten a job. No one stopped her from doing so. That is her OWN fault.

And what other resources are you referring to?

Also, who are the "multiple" people claiming abuse? Crystal, her family members, and an ex girlfriend of Ron's are the only ones I know about. And a judge will listen to them at his or her own discretion as they are clearly biased witnesses.

I'm just continually amazed that it isn't clear to people that allegations HAVE to be, and SHOULD be investigated. That Crystal has taken the steps to have these allegations CLEARED UP should speak volumes toward her caring what happens to her child still in the care of the subject of those allegations. If there is nothing there, then the allegations are done. She is not filing an emergency injunction for custody. She is saying "People are telling me my kids were abused and would someone PLEASE look into this for me!!!??"

Jr sure seems worth having someone look into it all. Does that mean Crystal is forgetting Haleigh? That's unfair. Haleigh is "missing/endangered" and neither of her parents can do much to change that for her. All the weepy pleading tears on TV won't bring Haleigh home, no matter how much value that seems to have for people. Whoever has Haleigh is not unaware that her parents and family want her back, that LE wants her back, that strangers on WS want her back. The person who took Haleigh knows full well what others want. The person who took Haleigh just doesn't give a rat's a$$.

But Jr is there, and Jr is still subject to the allegations that he, along with his sister, were abused. He's worth the effort for someone to look into it and put the rumors to rest, or to take steps to protect him, and there's just no other way to do either but to investigate appropriately.

 

[Breaking Heart]

I am all for reporting suspected abuse. However, I have a big issue with this alleged abuse being brought up during the search for a missing girl. It, IMO, completely sways the focus on finding Haleigh. Personally, the photos I saw do not suggest abuse to me. I have a 5yr old boy who always has bruises, cuts and scratches. If someone took a photo of his body, any part of his body, I would be suspected of abuse, which is certainly not the case. In regards to discipline, I try all non-physical methods first...if none work, my son does get a spanking...sometimes it is the ONLY thing that works. For those who don't believe in spanking...I'd give you 1 day with my STRONG WILLED child...and you'd understand the need for it....trust me! For those of you who have never needed to spank your child...you're very lucky! I hope and pray that the investigation and search for Haleigh has not taken a turn that was not needed because of these abuse allegations. The only focus at the moment should be to find Haleigh. My understanding is that Crystal did report suspected abuse to DCF, and DCF did investigate and found the allegations to be false. Although DCF is known to miss abuse at times or not properly investigate, I highly doubt that the teachers and doctors and ER physicians missed it as well.

Also, in regards to Misty watching the children. Yes, she is young, but I don't understand why some find it so outrageous that she was left to care for the children. She's not 5, she's 17. She's old enough to have her own children...many younger than her do have their own. Hell, I know women in their 40's who are less mature than Misty appears to be...and somehow they managed to raise their children safely. JMO

 

[kiki the parrot]

I'm just continually amazed that it isn't clear to people that allegations HAVE to be, and SHOULD be investigated. That Crystal has taken the steps to have these allegations CLEARED UP should speak volumes toward her caring what happens to her child still in the care of the subject of those allegations. If there is nothing there, then the allegations are done. She is not filing an emergency injunction for custody. She is saying "People are telling me my kids were abused and would someone PLEASE look into this for me!!!??"

Jr sure seems worth having someone look into it all. Does that mean Crystal is forgetting Haleigh? That's unfair. Haleigh is "missing/endangered" and neither of her parents can do much to change that for her. All the weepy pleading tears on TV won't bring Haleigh home, no matter how much value that seems to have for people. Whoever has Haleigh is not unaware that her parents and family want her back, that LE wants her back, that strangers on WS want her back. The person who took Haleigh knows full well what others want. The person who took Haleigh just doesn't give a rat's a$$.

But Jr is there, and Jr is still subject to the allegations that he, along with his sister, were abused. He's worth the effort for someone to look into it and put the rumors to rest, or to take steps to protect him, and there's just no other way to do either but to investigate appropriately.

Really debs--honestly nothing surprises me anymore and while I think we're both wasting our breath thank u for explaining, w far more patience than I ever could at this point, the reasons it is imperative which are so obvious, yet continue to be ignored. Protecting the image of dad, it seems, bears more weight in the minds of some than either ensuring Junior's safety--OR finding Haleigh. arrot:

 

[debs]

I am all for reporting suspected abuse. However, I have a big issue with this alleged abuse being brought up during the search for a missing girl. It, IMO, completely sways the focus on finding Haleigh. Personally, the photos I saw do not suggest abuse to me. I have a 5yr old boy who always has bruises, cuts and scratches. If someone took a photo of his body, any part of his body, I would be suspected of abuse, which is certainly not the case. In regards to discipline, I try all non-physical methods first...if none work, my son does get a spanking...sometimes it is the ONLY thing that works. For those who don't believe in spanking...I'd give you 1 day with my STRONG WILLED child...and you'd understand the need for it....trust me! For those of you who have never needed to spank your child...you're very lucky! I hope and pray that the investigation and search for Haleigh has not taken a turn that was not needed because of these abuse allegations. The only focus at the moment should be to find Haleigh. My understanding is that Crystal did report suspected abuse to DCF, and DCF did investigate and found the allegations to be false. Although DCF is known to miss abuse at times or not properly investigate, I highly doubt that the teachers and doctors and ER physicians missed it as well.

Also, in regards to Misty watching the children. Yes, she is young, but I don't understand why some find it so outrageous that she was left to care for the children. She's not 5, she's 17. She's old enough to have her own children...many younger than her do have their own. Hell, I know women in their 40's who are less mature than Misty appears to be...and somehow they managed to raise their children safely. JMO

And now DCF has charges being brought by OTHER people, through Crystal and her attorney. Shouldn't THOSE charges, which were only brought to Crystal's attention when she came to town after her daughter was taken, be investigated just as thoroughly as the others? Is there a quota one should be able to state has been met and therefore no other investigations should be done? If the charges are unfounded or cannot be confirmed, it will certainly put to rest the rumors, or if they are found to be truthful, will help get Jr into a safer environment. But they should in all instances, be investigated appropriately.

 

[Tichad3]

No where in my post did I say that the allegations should not be looked at. You guys are making that up all on your own.

You may continue to post "down" to me and put rolling eyes up, but that does not change the facts.

I am asking people to PLEASE stop being rude to me. I've asked several times now. I have done nothing to warrant this kind of thing.

 

[Tom'sGirl]

No where in my post did I say that the allegations should not be looked at. You guys are making that up all on your own.

You may continue to post "down" to me and put rolling eyes up, but that does not change the facts.

I am asking people to PLEASE stop being rude to me. I've asked several times now. I have done nothing to warrant this kind of thing.

If you feel a post needs to be reviewed as being rude toward you please hit the ALERT

and it will be reviewed. I did edit one that you may be referring to.

 

[fortytwo]

No where in my post did I say that the allegations should not be looked at. You guys are making that up all on your own.

You may continue to post "down" to me and put rolling eyes up, but that does not change the facts.

I am asking people to PLEASE stop being rude to me. I've asked several times now. I have done nothing to warrant this kind of thing.

Tichad3,

There are those who prefer innuendo and ideology over investigation and analysis. You are not among them and you don't need to feel intimidated by those who are.

Continue as you have with reasoned consideration of what data we can trust

 

[SeriouslySearching]

No where in my post did I say that the allegations should not be looked at. You guys are making that up all on your own.

You may continue to post "down" to me and put rolling eyes up, but that does not change the facts.

I am asking people to PLEASE stop being rude to me. I've asked several times now. I have done nothing to warrant this kind of thing.

Funny...abuse comes in so many forms...doesn't it?

Why don't you wait...say six months or a year...then when it is convenient for you to report the abuse because a friend of yours needs the charges to screw her ex...you step forward to say it could have happened, but at the time you didn't see it as abuse so you didn't report it. You overlooked it because it wasn't important at the time, but now that your friend/cousin/man's other ex needs it to further her agenda...you think it must have happened. Does this sound about right as far as what is going on with Crystal at the moment?! Sure does to me!

There was NO abuse. We already have seen the lies for ourselves on national television! I can't wait until they go talk to the ER docs, the Principal, the teachers, and everyone else in a professional capacity that stated Haleigh was not abused and the charges are unfounded!! (The photos have already been explained and they do not show any abuse, but an accident which happened at school!) THEN...I want to see ONLY supervised visitation be given to Crystal and her family (if they even allow Maria to see Rj again).

Did you also notice the worst of the abuse being reported is with Haleigh? The one no longer available to verify it one way or the other? How very convenient. Use the missing child as the target...because she can't testify. Disgusting!

 

[fortytwo]

Funny...abuse comes in so many forms...doesn't it?

Why don't you wait...say six months or a year...then when it is convenient for you to report the abuse because a friend of yours needs the charges to screw her ex...you step forward to say it could have happened, but at the time you didn't see it as abuse so you didn't report it. You overlooked it because it wasn't important at the time, but now that your friend needs it to further her agenda...you think it must have happened. Does this sound about right as far as what is going on with Crystal at the moment?! Sure does to me!

There was NO abuse. We already have seen the lies for ourselves on national television! I can't wait until they go talk to the ER docs, the Principal, the teachers, and everyone else in a professional capacity that stated Haleigh was not abused and the charges are unfounded!! THEN...I want to see ONLY supervised visitation be given to Crystal and her family (if they even allow Maria to see Rj again).

(bold above by me)

In the event that this should prove to be the case (and the way things are progressing it seems increasing likely that it shall) I can only hope that the behavior of Geraldo and this conveniently generous white knight lawyer from the city will discover that their statements crossed the line into actionable slander.

 

[CHICANA]

any of you younger ws'ers ever hear your parents talk about how granpa and granma made 'em go pick a switch? The switch was then what you got a spanking with.

People tend to treat their kids like they were treated. I wonder if Ron was disclipining jr the same way he was discliplined; ie with a switch? I am not saying RC was hit with a switch as a kid because I have no idea if that is the case, just asking myself if when Hayleigh told CS that Jr. was hit with a stick by Daddy that maybe she meant swatted with a switch/ stick? And please no body start the argument that you don't believe in spankings. That is not what my statement is about. It is about the bruises on Jr. made by a stick.

I was a victim of corporal punishment. LOL
I think she meant a switch.
I think RJ is too young to be hit.
I'm not going to start with the spanking argument. I'm torn because sometimes I think society wouldn't be so screwed up if kids had tougher consequences, I don't see anything wrong with being afraid if you misbehave. On the other hand, I don't like to spank my kids.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

My father not only got the "switch" by his sweet mother (she really was...God rest her soul), he and his brother had to go cut their own! The punishment was few and far between for either one of them, but when warranted...it was standard.

I honestly do not believe the marks left on Rj are from the "switch" tho. Kids get bruises playing and they live in the country. The same thing could happen walking to the pond and getting smacked accidently with branches from a tree!

Btw~ We still allow corporal punishment in our schools here. We are talking thick paddles!! The only rule change is that parents have to sign a waiver at the beginning of the year and it is to be carried out by the same sex. (female student/female teacher)

 

[snookie]

W all due respect, clearly intelligence and education is not the issue or the children would never have been entrusted to Misty. It seems naive to suggest there is always equal treatment w/in the courts or by the justice system. Most here are referring to the challenge Crystal (and many like her) faced in navigating a legal system w disparities in income, resources, and inadequate representation. The solution is NEVER to simply ignore reports of abuse--from multiple sources--to either return one child or continue entrusting the other remaining child to the care or custody from which one child has already disappeared and w someone about whom there are many questions.

(my bold)

Couldn't agree more. :clap:



If he ends up keeping custody, hopefully Ron will be wise enough to NOT let Misty watch Junior.

Might also be a good idea to make sure Misty doesn't get pregnant. If she isn't already.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

Mental abuse is as bad, if not worse, than physical abuse to a child. I hope the people involved in this investigation see it for what it is coming from Crystal and her family.

 

[Dr. Know?]

I hope the investigation (DCF or CPS) does not go on forever. Like a week maybe at the most. Haleigh needs to be found. JR needs to be protected the most because he just might be smart enough to identify who or what happened. The witnesses that have seen the abuse would be the most important for them to decide. Their credibility is very important. But anyone with info would provide all info someway, I would hope. Where is Haleigh? Wish we knew...

 

[DogMom2JoeAndWillie]

Really debs--honestly nothing surprises me anymore and while I think we're both wasting our breath thank u for explaining, w far more patience than I ever could at this point, the reasons it is imperative which are so obvious, yet continue to be ignored. Protecting the image of dad, it seems, bears more weight in the minds of some than either ensuring Junior's safety--OR finding Haleigh. arrot:

The dad seems to be doing enough to tarnish his own image. Honestly, nothing that his ex says is going to make me think any less of him because my opinion isn't that great to begin with. It doesn't matter to me WHAT she accuses him of, at this point it all seems to distract from finding the missing daughter. Just because a poster chooses to say that the focus should be on finding the daughter, it DOES NOT mean that they don't think RJ should be protected from a dangerous situation or that the abuse allegations shouldn't be investigated. Jumping from one poster's statement to our own conclusion about that statement seems to be causing us to misunderstand one another.
From what I've read in all our posts, everyone agrees that abuse allegations should be taken seriously, reported, and investigated. We all agree that RJ should be protected from any abuse. We all agree that Haleigh needs to be found and brought back to a home that is safe from abuse, drugs, etc.
I think the point that is disagreed upon is HOW (public vs. private), WHEN (as soon as it was suspected vs. several months later), and even to WHOM (witnesses reporting to CS vs. reporting directly to authorities) these accusations should have been made. Some posters feel that this is just a shady attempt to get publicity, that it distracts from the search for Haleigh, and that she (and the other witnesses) should have reported it when they first suspected the abuse. Others feel that the mother acted exactly as she should have in order to protect her children and that her intentions are only to ensure the safety of RJ and Haleigh (when and if she comes home).
I guess the only person who knows her true intentions is CS, and I doubt we will ever know which of us analyzed her actions correctly because she will probably never tell us. Therefore, it's not really worth argument and hurt feelings.
Lets remember we are all here for the same purpose and that getting our panties/boxers/briefs (whatever you prefer) in a twist isn't going to help us work together. :grouphug: I will agree to disagree and I apoligise if any of my posts were offensive to anyone. The only person I'm worried about hurting is the person responsible for Haleigh being missing, not any of you guys! :blowkiss:

 

[fortytwo]

The dad seems to be doing enough to tarnish his own image. Honestly, nothing that his ex says is going to make me think any less of him because my opinion isn't that great to begin with. It doesn't matter to me WHAT she accuses him of, at this point it all seems to distract from finding the missing daughter. Just because a poster chooses to say that the focus should be on finding the daughter, it DOES NOT mean that they don't think RJ should be protected from a dangerous situation or that the abuse allegations shouldn't be investigated. Jumping from one poster's statement to our own conclusion about that statement seems to be causing us to misunderstand one another.
From what I've read in all our posts, everyone agrees that abuse allegations should be taken seriously, reported, and investigated. We all agree that RJ should be protected from any abuse. We all agree that Haleigh needs to be found and brought back to a home that is safe from abuse, drugs, etc.
I think the point that is disagreed upon is HOW (public vs. private), WHEN (as soon as it was suspected vs. several months later), and even to WHOM (witnesses reporting to CS vs. reporting directly to authorities) these accusations should have been made. Some posters feel that this is just a shady attempt to get publicity, that it distracts from the search for Haleigh, and that she (and the other witnesses) should have reported it when they first suspected the abuse. Others feel that the mother acted exactly as she should have in order to protect her children and that her intentions are only to ensure the safety of RJ and Haleigh (when and if she comes home).
I guess the only person who knows her true intentions is CS, and I doubt we will ever know which of us analyzed her actions correctly because she will probably never tell us. Therefore, it's not really worth argument and hurt feelings.
Lets remember we are all here for the same purpose and that getting our panties/boxers/briefs (whatever you prefer) in a twist isn't going to help us work together. :grouphug: I will agree to disagree and I apoligise if any of my posts were offensive to anyone. The only person I'm worried about hurting is the person responsible for Haleigh being missing, not any of you guys! :blowkiss:

Excellent summation.

I will certainly take it to heart, and encourage others to, as well.

 

[titanfan62702]

I didn't see anything in the pictures that alarms me and frankly wish they had not been made available publicly.

Regardless of what did or did not happen in the past with his father, he's as safe from any abuse now as any child. With all the focus on the family, any bruise, scratch, is going to be suspect.

I am more concerned that he is in a safe place from anything related to his sissy's disappearance. If anything happened with either of the grandchildren, my first thought would be to protect his brother, and my house would not be the place. Too many players know where I live, and this is a larger town. Some of the dynamics of that family resembles mine (parents split, dad recently married, need a score card to keep track of which parent is getting back at the other).