I have been wondering a few things about CS & 16 -
1. Why did he not know about her until she was 5 y/o? Did mom have concerns about his ability to be a good dad?
2. HOW did he find out about her when she was 5 y/o?
3. Why did he want custody? Was it to punish her mom? Was it to avoid paying child support and possibly force mom to pay HIM child support? Was it an excuse to be a SAHD?
4. Why was he granted custody? Did mom willingly let him have custody - possibly thinking it would be good for them to establish a father-daughter relationship? Did mom have to give in because she didn’t have money for a legal battle with CS who was being supported by ES? Did mom have health (physical or mental) or substance abuse issues? (This is ONLY a thought and I, in no way, want to even remotely suggest mom had any issues. Her daughter clearly lived/loves her and the courts later sided with mom and allowed her to regain custody.)
On a side note, I can speak from experience ONE reason why a mother may want to keep a child from their father. I got pregnant while still in HS & my BF (baby’s dad) was a good kid but had a very dysfunctional & dangerous mother who frequently popped in and out of his life. I chose to cut all ties with him and NOT tell him I was pregnant because of my fear of what my child’s life would be like with this woman even remotely in his life. When my son was 5 y/o (ironically the same age 16 was when her dad found out about her) my ex-BF suddenly tried to come back into my life. It became a very dangerous situation and at that time in my state you could only get a restraining order if you were or had been married or if you had a child together. Since I hadn’t put him on the Birth Certificate, I couldn’t get a restraining order. I was so glad that I hadn’t named him on the Birth Certificate because that would have given him “rights” and being able to get a restraining order (which could easily be violated) and/or being awarded child support was not worth the danger my son would have been in. Looking back I am amazed at how smart I was for being only 16 y/o.
