Arizona girl, 2, left in car by father on 109-degree day and is found dead

[Tortoise]

Transcript, cutting out reporter input -



Dad: No! (sounds like it could be part of a conversation he’s already having with his wife when the call connects, from differentiation in tone) … 911, 911, please!

Dad: My baby was in the car. She’s not responsive. Oh my God, oh my God!

911: And this was out in the driveway?

Dad: Yes!

911: Is she still breathing?

Dad: No she’s not breathing right now.

911: Okay we need to start CPR right now.

Dad: Yes we are, we’re starting CPR, yes.

911: I need to hear CPR, (Mom in background cries aloud) I need them to count it out for me, one two three, four…

Dad: One two three fo… my wife’s a doctor, my wife’s a doctor, she’s home. (Mom in background says something)

Mom: You left the (sounds like ‘starter’?) on?

Dad: It was but it turns off! I’ve been checking.

911: Is she breathing yet?

Dad: (to Mom) Is she breathing?

Mom: No.

Dad: No. Oh my God, baby! Baby!!

Mom: (counting compression) …3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

---



"My baby was in the car"

NOT

"I left my baby in the car"

He is more interested in self-preservation than truth. During an emergency to try to save Parker's life he is consciously thinking how to adapt his language first.

MOO

edited to add - the "I've been checking" is at odds with him supposedly checking the house for her when his wife arrived home. We know he wasn't checking the car, but I would say that checking the house was a charade and this statement is to manipulate the 911 call handler.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

Regarding the idea he would have been a more attentive, involved father if they'd had a boy, what about all of the attentive involved fathers out there who have daughters? And enjoy playing with and teaching them, and helping them grow up with love?

Honestly, he didn't want to be a stay-at-home-parent (or much of one at all, IMO), and didn't want to admit he's an alcoholic. He needed to choose rehab, intense therapy, and finding new goals for himself. He needed to want to change, but there's something very wrong. Another child, a son, wouldn't change him.

 

[Charlot123]

Regarding the idea he would have been a more attentive, involved father if they'd had a boy, what about all of the attentive involved fathers out there who have daughters? And enjoy playing with and teaching them, and helping them grow up with love?

Honestly, he didn't want to be a stay-at-home-parent (or much of one at all, IMO), and didn't want to admit he's an alcoholic. He needed to choose rehab, intense therapy, and finding new goals for himself. He needed to want to change, but there's something very wrong. Another child, a son, wouldn't change him.

He would have absolutely refused to go to rehab, IMHO. First, he’d deny having alcohol problems. To be willing to stop the habit, one has to have a motive to change something in life. When he looks around with sober eyes, what changes? He is still a deadbeat dad, a 36-year old who failed college, sitting at home watching kids. He’d spend more time at his PS5, that’s all. Plus, remember his response when E accused him of drunk driving with a child in the car? “You hate me.” People like him would blame everyone for their perceived misfortunes.

 

[callmehenry]

Transcript, cutting out reporter input -



Dad: No! (sounds like it could be part of a conversation he’s already having with his wife when the call connects, from differentiation in tone) … 911, 911, please!

Dad: My baby was in the car. She’s not responsive. Oh my God, oh my God!

911: And this was out in the driveway?

Dad: Yes!

911: Is she still breathing?

Dad: No she’s not breathing right now.

911: Okay we need to start CPR right now.

Dad: Yes we are, we’re starting CPR, yes.

911: I need to hear CPR, (Mom in background cries aloud) I need them to count it out for me, one two three, four…

Dad: One two three fo… my wife’s a doctor, my wife’s a doctor, she’s home. (Mom in background says something)

Mom: You left the (sounds like ‘starter’?) on?

Dad: It was but it turns off! I’ve been checking.

911: Is she breathing yet?

Dad: (to Mom) Is she breathing?

Mom: No.

Dad: No. Oh my God, baby! Baby!!

Mom: (counting compression) …3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

---



"My baby was in the car"

NOT

"I left my baby in the car"

He is more interested in self-preservation than truth. During an emergency to try to save Parker's life he is consciously thinking how to adapt his language first.

MOO

edited to add - the "I've been checking" is at odds with him supposedly checking the house for her when his wife arrived home. We know he wasn't checking the car, but I would say that checking the house was a charade and this statement is to manipulate the 911 call handler.

I did think that checking the house was a ruse on his part. He knew full well where she was when the wife came home but he had to go through the motions

 

[aimeea]

MOO, I can't stop wondering how far back CS was shoplifting cases of beer--the whole pattern of going into the bathroom with it feels like such a calculated ruse. How many times has this guy drove drunk, and with the kids in the back no less? I know we'll never get the real details of his relationship with ES, but I wouldn't be surprised if their relationship troubles were a real slow-burn gaslit situation where she didn't realize until too late what a mess she was in with him and by then, she'd put all her eggs in one basket with no way to back out. I don't think she made good decisions by any means with this guy, but I can maybe empathize with how things got where they are.

 

[Dotta]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1820106179017646441

 

[ChatteringBirds]

He is still a deadbeat dad, a 36-year old who failed college, sitting at home watching kids.

Let's please not perpetuate the idea that people need to finish college or do something besides take care of kids, etc. to deserve as much respect as anyone else, per say.

I did think that checking the house was a ruse on his part. He knew full well where she was when the wife came home but he had to go through the motions

Is there anything on the 911 call that indicates that to you? (I try to stay away from watching Youtube.)

I wouldn't be surprised if their relationship troubles were a real slow-burn gaslit situation where she didn't realize until too late what a mess she was in with him and by then, she'd put all her eggs in one basket with no way to back out

I do think she could have "backed-out" of the bad marriage by bringing in outside child-care, seeking good legal advice, and separating. I can appreciate how much she would not have wanted to share custody, though.

 

[charminglane]

I have had friends who had a parent that would leave them in the car, back in the day, to pop into the bar "just for one."
I wonder if he did that too in the past?

 

[BrownRice]

MOO, I can't stop wondering how far back CS was shoplifting cases of beer--the whole pattern of going into the bathroom with it feels like such a calculated ruse. How many times has this guy drove drunk, and with the kids in the back no less? I know we'll never get the real details of his relationship with ES, but I wouldn't be surprised if their relationship troubles were a real slow-burn gaslit situation where she didn't realize until too late what a mess she was in with him and by then, she'd put all her eggs in one basket with no way to back out. I don't think she made good decisions by any means with this guy, but I can maybe empathize with how things got where they are.

Well if my spouse was driving drunk with my kids and or driving 136 mph that would be the wake up call for me. Take the car away. Groceries can be delivered. Have your mom or another relative or friend come over for the kids. He would hate all those ideas but he shouldn’t have had a say.

 

[Herat]

I have had friends who had a parent that would leave them in the car, back in the day, to pop into the bar "just for one."
I wonder if he did that too in the past?

The two older girls would certainly have been able to tell their mother that he had been leaving them inside the car while he was in the grocery store, the gas station, a bar, or anywhere else. They were not with him, but at some other place that morning.

The chance to sneak off with only Parker in the car who can't tattle on what he has been doing may have been one of the reasons why he chose to go to the gas station and drink that particular morning. I wonder if the mother was trying to get the two older children away from his behaviours but little Parker was too young for whatever the other two were attending.

 

[Arkay]

Well if my spouse was driving drunk with my kids and or driving 136 mph that would be the wake up call for me. Take the car away. Groceries can be delivered. Have your mom or another relative or friend come over for the kids. He would hate all those ideas but he shouldn’t have had a say.

Totally agree.

As a grandma who watched my grandchildren, I’ll just clarify that I couldn’t do that full-time until I retired, and there are many families whose friends or relatives do not live close by or are not able or willing to watch the children.

That’s a moot point, though, because fortuitously the mother is a doctor and presumably makes enough money to hire a sitter, or a nanny, or put the toddler in day care.

Or they (mainly she) could have made a decision….do we go on fabulous vacations, or do we invest that money into keeping our daughters ALIVE?

She already had to know that he was a terrible father to his firstborn. I imagine she could tell herself that that was due to issues with the mother of that daughter, but c’mon…you have verified information that your husband is taking wild chances with the safety of your own children….what is the dilemma? Yes, you want to preserve your marriage for your own reasons, I get that, but he was long on the path to disaster.

What a shame that Parker had to pay the price.

Again, WHY IS THAT MURDERER STILL IN THE HOME? How can she bear even looking at him?

JMO

 

[Herat]

Has there been any notion that ES or CS had any religious links? Were they in any group that put pressure on the family staying together?

 

[aimeea]

Well if my spouse was driving drunk with my kids and or driving 136 mph that would be the wake up call for me. Take the car away. Groceries can be delivered. Have your mom or another relative or friend come over for the kids. He would hate all those ideas but he shouldn’t have had a say.

Yeah I just wonder how insulated they were from family. Abusive relationships, the abusive one has a way of breaking you off from your friends and family. She may have been in really dire circumstances, even with her well-paying job in place. Not excusing her behavior at all, but I just think this is the worst possible outcome of a really common relationship pattern.

 

[mickey2942]

Well if my spouse was driving drunk with my kids and or driving 136 mph that would be the wake up call for me. Take the car away. Groceries can be delivered. Have your mom or another relative or friend come over for the kids. He would hate all those ideas but he shouldn’t have had a say.

At that point, I would have filed divorce documents. Having drama like that at home just isn't worth it.

 

[callmehenry]

I have had friends who had a parent that would leave them in the car, back in the day, to pop into the bar "just for one."
I wonder if he did that too in the past?

I had a mother who did that

 

[IDK]

I feel horrible for Parker, her sisters and mother. If CS is an alcoholic ( as evidenced by lying about and hiding his drinking) there is a whole series of family dynamics that goes along with this disorder. It sounds like the mom had not yet sought help and was trying to manage the situation on her own. He was blatantly lying to her, IMO.

Al Anon has a lot of good information on the subject.

“Denial​

Are you frustrated by the blatant denial of a loved one with an alcohol use disorder, who won't admit that their behavior is causing problems, damaging and destroying others? Have you learned that it isn't your job to convince that person they are in denial, turning that over to a power greater than yourself?”

Al-Anon Topics for Beginners

These are some of the topics that seem to be of most interest to those who are new to Al-Anon Family Groups and want to learn more about the program.

www.verywellmind.com

Editing to add:

“Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of someone who has a drinking problem. It is distinct from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), which is an organization that helps individuals recover from a drinking problem.


Al-Anon serves as an outlet and support system for its members. The goal is not necessarily to help the person with the drinking problem, but rather to teach the family and friends of that person how to cope, stay safe, and accept the things that can't be changed. Attendees are encouraged to share experiences, ideas, and hope.”

 

[rsteen]

I know she is upset, but this is very disturbing:
So the absolute worst case scenario for our family is if Chris were to be away from us.

I would contend that the very worst case scenario for her family is if Chris is allowed to stay in the same home with them without 24/7 supervision by LE.

Whether he is depressed, alcohol-addicted, remorseful or unremorseful, HE is the problem and HE needs to be removed.

Yes... hasn't the worst-case scenario already happened?? Why would you want him around your surviving children after that?

 

[Herat]

Yeah I just wonder how insulated they were from family. Abusive relationships, the abusive one has a way of breaking you off from your friends and family. She may have been in really dire circumstances, even with her well-paying job in place. Not excusing her behavior at all, but I just think this is the worst possible outcome of a really common relationship pattern.

Anesthesiologists often have to be on-call, either in the hospital or from home for emergencies, surgeries, deliveries. Having a 7-5 kind of schedule is not usual for a younger anesthesiologist, as they don't tend to get the nicer assignments.

If she was on-call from home, there would be even more stress for her knowing she would have to leave the children with him at various times that she couldn't control. There is also a lot of waiting time when at the hospital, so she would have a lot of time to worry about her own family and to be checking on them, even while involved in a long day full of cases.

I can almost feel her stress. This job is their source of income that keeps the family in the pretty photos, the nice vacations, the pretty exterior to a life of worry and stress. As you mention, aimeea, it doesn't appear that there are nearby family relatives that she can call on, or who she wants to let in on the problem.

Look at how she describes the home life in her initial LE statement:

I work many hours so they're all that he sees.
Then she tries to mollify the situation and shield him from his actions: This was a big mistake and I think that this doesn't represent him and I just want the girls to see their father so that I don't have to tell them tonight that they're going to endure another loss.

Then, knowing the addictive and reckless behavious he has taken with their children, she again denies to the court his liability:
If anything, Chris wants to stay here, he's always been cooperative through this entire process and we'll ensure that we have continued cooperation and if there's anything additional that is needed from the courts to ensure our safety, I'm happy to help with those certainties that are needed.

Of course Chris wants to stay there. She isn't going to really punish him. She is paying for a lawyer. She isn't going to expose to the world what kind of a man he is. And, he may have been cooperative "through this entire process (meaning the death investigation, I presume) but he certainly HAS NOT BEEN COOPERATIVE in complying with his ethical and legal obligations to safeguard his own children.

I'm sorry, but she has a long way to go to wake up and kick him out. She's very much acting like the victim of domestic abuse, always excusing the perp.

 

[Herat]

Yes... hasn't the worst-case scenario already happened?? Why would you want him around your surviving children after that?

I think there is another worst-case scenario, and as many have alluded to, in may involve violence, suicide, or family annihilation.

 

[Arkay]

Look at how she describes the home life in her initial LE statement:

I work many hours so they're all that he sees.
Then she tries to mollify the situation and shield him from his actions: This was a big mistake and I think that this doesn't represent him and I just want the girls to see their father so that I don't have to tell them tonight that they're going to endure another

I agree with you, @Herat, and I think it’s tragic that even now she can’t see or acknowledge the truth.

His actions prior to this tragedy show me, IMO, that this absolutely DOES REPRESENT HIM.

He apparently has at least a decade long history of leaving his children to fend for themselves alone in the car, if his teenaged daughter is to be believed.

He apparently also has a history of driving at reckless speed, with his kid(s) in the car, and of being an alcoholic and a shoplifter. He’s seemingly abandoned all four of his daughters in different ways, and like the iceberg hitting Titanic, this could have been avoided but the crash was heading their way.

The mom, knowing his recklessness, could have hired a nanny or a babysitter or availed herself of daycare.

You know that old saying about the frog who trusted the scorpion to carry him across the water. Then the scorpion stung him and as the frog was dying said, “you promised not to sting me” and the scorpion replied “ you knew what I was when I put you on my back.”

Maybe a poor analogy but that’s how I see this.

Jmo