Australia Australia - Marion Barter, 51, missing after trip to UK, June 1997 #14

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Nnbee said:
so glad to hear they have had lots of tips from ballina locals regarding the family.
interesting to hear their perspective on the family dynamic.
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that was very interesting to hear about the family dynamics, I think DDH was/is just a convenience for RB, very sad for her and her children if this is the case, wasted her life and dragged her into this hot mess at the end of it.
 
Joni said "they" dropped the R from their last name while in Tasmania, with the assumption the view on DDH and children is true, this guy has no shame to involve his family. Seriously how do explain to your wife or children that the spelling of their last name has changed, I guess you don't explain you just tell them what to do.
 
KiwiNZ said:
Joni said "they" dropped the R from their last name while in Tasmania, with the assumption the view on DDH and children is true, this guy has no shame to involve his family. Seriously how do explain to your wife or children that the spelling of their last name has changed, I guess you don't explain you just tell them what to do.
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I imagine there'd have been so many alterations to 'facts' over the years that the poor family, assuming they are all innocent victims, would maybe have got used to being told 'where we live today', 'what daddy's name is now', 'where daddy works', and what to tell anyone looking for or asking after other / previous names? It would be just like being in a cult.

My father was not too far removed from this type of abusive control and as a child you normalise the madness and just do what you're told - things that are normal activities are fraught with anxiety, such as answering the door or picking up the landline phone, in case you say the wrong thing to the wrong person or that person is asking awkward questions.
 
www.9news.com.au

Sally's mum has been missing for 10,000 days and it doesn't get easier

www.9news.com.au www.9news.com.au

Missing Persons Week kicks off on Monday and there are calls for greater investment in resources to help.
The Missing Persons Advocacy Network (MPAN) has been working with affected families to develop world-first therapeutic cards.
The "hope narratives" cards help people struggling with emotions that can't be easily "managed with standard grief counselling practices".

The set of 145 tangible cards each display a sentiment from someone who has experienced what it's like to live with, and survive, "the unending not-knowing".

"
"We're up to over 10,000 days my mum's been missing," Leydon said.
"I've had to do a lot of the searches and a lot of the background work myself."
A $500,000 dollar reward is in place for information to help solve the disappearances of Hayez and Barter.
"It never leaves me, it was my mum," Leydon said"
*******************************************************************************************************************************

I'm not really sure I'd like to receive these cards if I had a loved one missing.
I'd much rather more resources were put into finding them.
 
TootsieFootsie said:
I'm not really sure I'd like to receive these cards if I had a loved one missing.
I'd much rather more resources were put into finding them.
Click to expand...

I actually like what they did in the USA, giving playing cards to inmates, that has missing people on the back of the cards.

The above is not for me I don't find comfort in that sort of thing , but I do know a lot of people whom are lifted by words and others experience, so hopefully it helps some people with their internal struggle


the "hope narratives" - Search Videos

www.bing.com www.bing.com
 
KiwiNZ said:
I actually like what they did in the USA, giving playing cards to inmates, that has missing people on the back of the cards.

The above is not for me I don't find comfort in that sort of thing , but I do know a lot of people whom are lifted by words and others experience, so hopefully it helps some people with their internal struggle


the "hope narratives" - Search Videos

www.bing.com www.bing.com
Click to expand...
Perhaps words and other peoples experiences help some people but for me, the hope that a loved one is out there somewhere was easier than the grief of permanent loss. Cards would not have helped me in either situation but that's just my experience and everyone is different.
 
KiwiNZ said:
Joni said "they" dropped the R from their last name while in Tasmania, with the assumption the view on DDH and children is true, this guy has no shame to involve his family. Seriously how do explain to your wife or children that the spelling of their last name has changed, I guess you don't explain you just tell them what to do.
Click to expand...
I don’t believe that the entire family did that as his son was using correct spelling when swimming at Top of The World pool in Hobart

Wayback Machine

web.archive.org
 
Forgive me if this has been discussed before, but a friend and I were just discussing Marion's final payphone call to Sally on 31 July, which she said was form Tunbridge Wells, England. I know there are theories that she may have been calling from somewhere else on her way back to Australia, not from the UK, and I believe Sally only had Marion's word that she was calling from Tunbridge Wells.

How Sally describes the call does support the theory that Marion was not calling from a UK payphone. She says Marion had to redial a few times because the money kept running out. That is a red flag to us UK sleuths because with a UK payphone, whether you were using a pre-paid card or cash, the call would not just cut off when the money or credit ran out, forcing you to redial. You had a warning signal: if more money or a fresh pre-paid card was needed there was a series of "rapid pips" that both parties could hear. You had maybe 10 seconds to fumble for change or a new card, and only after that would it cut off if you didn't take action. I found a recording of the "rapid pips" here and I have passed them on to Joni:

https://www.pond5.com/sound-effects/item/8634028-bt-dial-payphone-pips

The "rapid pips" are very familiar and nostalgic to anyone who remembers the UK before mobile phones eclipsed payphones. They were very intrusive to the conversation. We all used to ring our friends and family at home or overseas from payphones and the pips would drive us nuts.

Separately, Marion's remark to Sally that she was in Tunbridge Wells "having tea and scones with some little old ladies" has always seemed a little bogus to me, like she was making it up. Apart from sounding made up, the call was made in the early morning UK time, and you wouldn't have tea and scones at that time. I know it sounds ridiculous, but they are just not breakfast food. "Little old ladies" and Australian tourists like Marion who wanted to act all British and dainty would have them in the afternoon at a tea shop or hotel lobby, not at dawn.

While I don't want to paint Marion as a deceptive person, it seems to be generally accepted that it was she who returned to Australia barely a day after this call. If it was her, she lied by omission to Sally about this imminent trip home to Australia *that same day*. Perhaps as the landing card says, it really was meant to be a quick one week trip home to sort out something that had arisen during the trip to Europe, and Marion preferred not to disclose it to Sally. After all, we do know that Marion had seen fit to not be open in general about aspects of her new relationship and her planned trip. That, plus the half-truths on the outgoing passenger card, do possibly suggest the influence of someone to whom deception is just their daily life.
 
sah10406 said:
Forgive me if this has been discussed before, but a friend and I were just discussing Marion's final payphone call to Sally on 31 July, which she said was form Tunbridge Wells, England. I know there are theories that she may have been calling from somewhere else on her way back to Australia, not from the UK, and I believe Sally only had Marion's word that she was calling from Tunbridge Wells.

How Sally describes the call does support the theory that Marion was not calling from a UK payphone. She says Marion had to redial a few times because the money kept running out. That is a red flag to us UK sleuths because with a UK payphone, whether you were using a pre-paid card or cash, the call would not just cut off when the money or credit ran out, forcing you to redial. You had a warning signal: if more money or a fresh pre-paid card was needed there was a series of "rapid pips" that both parties could hear. You had maybe 10 seconds to fumble for change or a new card, and only after that would it cut off if you didn't take action. I found a recording of the "rapid pips" here and I have passed them on to Joni:

https://www.pond5.com/sound-effects/item/8634028-bt-dial-payphone-pips

The "rapid pips" are very familiar and nostalgic to anyone who remembers the UK before mobile phones eclipsed payphones. They were very intrusive to the conversation. We all used to ring our friends and family at home or overseas from payphones and the pips would drive us nuts.

Separately, Marion's remark to Sally that she was in Tunbridge Wells "having tea and scones with some little old ladies" has always seemed a little bogus to me, like she was making it up. Apart from sounding made up, the call was made in the early morning UK time, and you wouldn't have tea and scones at that time. I know it sounds ridiculous, but they are just not breakfast food. "Little old ladies" and Australian tourists like Marion who wanted to act all British and dainty would have them in the afternoon at a tea shop or hotel lobby, not at dawn.

While I don't want to paint Marion as a deceptive person, it seems to be generally accepted that it was she who returned to Australia barely a day after this call. If it was her, she lied by omission to Sally about this imminent trip home to Australia *that same day*. Perhaps as the landing card says, it really was meant to be a quick one week trip home to sort out something that had arisen during the trip to Europe, and Marion preferred not to disclose it to Sally. After all, we do know that Marion had seen fit to not be open in general about aspects of her new relationship and her planned trip. That, plus the half-truths on the outgoing passenger card, do possibly suggest the influence of someone to whom deception is just their daily life.
Click to expand...
Excellent deduction @sah10406. It all makes perfect sense that the call was not made from a phone booth outside a tea shop in Tunbridge Wells. The time of day, the time of a flight, the tell-tale pips - all the little clues add up to get closer to the truth.
 
sah10406 said:
Forgive me if this has been discussed before, but a friend and I were just discussing Marion's final payphone call to Sally on 31 July, which she said was form Tunbridge Wells, England. I know there are theories that she may have been calling from somewhere else on her way back to Australia, not from the UK, and I believe Sally only had Marion's word that she was calling from Tunbridge Wells.

How Sally describes the call does support the theory that Marion was not calling from a UK payphone. She says Marion had to redial a few times because the money kept running out. That is a red flag to us UK sleuths because with a UK payphone, whether you were using a pre-paid card or cash, the call would not just cut off when the money or credit ran out, forcing you to redial. You had a warning signal: if more money or a fresh pre-paid card was needed there was a series of "rapid pips" that both parties could hear. You had maybe 10 seconds to fumble for change or a new card, and only after that would it cut off if you didn't take action. I found a recording of the "rapid pips" here and I have passed them on to Joni:

https://www.pond5.com/sound-effects/item/8634028-bt-dial-payphone-pips

The "rapid pips" are very familiar and nostalgic to anyone who remembers the UK before mobile phones eclipsed payphones. They were very intrusive to the conversation. We all used to ring our friends and family at home or overseas from payphones and the pips would drive us nuts.

Separately, Marion's remark to Sally that she was in Tunbridge Wells "having tea and scones with some little old ladies" has always seemed a little bogus to me, like she was making it up. Apart from sounding made up, the call was made in the early morning UK time, and you wouldn't have tea and scones at that time. I know it sounds ridiculous, but they are just not breakfast food. "Little old ladies" and Australian tourists like Marion who wanted to act all British and dainty would have them in the afternoon at a tea shop or hotel lobby, not at dawn.

While I don't want to paint Marion as a deceptive person, it seems to be generally accepted that it was she who returned to Australia barely a day after this call. If it was her, she lied by omission to Sally about this imminent trip home to Australia *that same day*. Perhaps as the landing card says, it really was meant to be a quick one week trip home to sort out something that had arisen during the trip to Europe, and Marion preferred not to disclose it to Sally. After all, we do know that Marion had seen fit to not be open in general about aspects of her new relationship and her planned trip. That, plus the half-truths on the outgoing passenger card, do possibly suggest the influence of someone to whom deception is just their daily life.
Click to expand...
Great info! I wonder about pay phones in Hong Kong?
 
sah10406 said:
Forgive me if this has been discussed before, but a friend and I were just discussing Marion's final payphone call to Sally on 31 July, which she said was form Tunbridge Wells, England. I know there are theories that she may have been calling from somewhere else on her way back to Australia, not from the UK, and I believe Sally only had Marion's word that she was calling from Tunbridge Wells.

How Sally describes the call does support the theory that Marion was not calling from a UK payphone. She says Marion had to redial a few times because the money kept running out. That is a red flag to us UK sleuths because with a UK payphone, whether you were using a pre-paid card or cash, the call would not just cut off when the money or credit ran out, forcing you to redial. You had a warning signal: if more money or a fresh pre-paid card was needed there was a series of "rapid pips" that both parties could hear. You had maybe 10 seconds to fumble for change or a new card, and only after that would it cut off if you didn't take action. I found a recording of the "rapid pips" here and I have passed them on to Joni:

https://www.pond5.com/sound-effects/item/8634028-bt-dial-payphone-pips

The "rapid pips" are very familiar and nostalgic to anyone who remembers the UK before mobile phones eclipsed payphones. They were very intrusive to the conversation. We all used to ring our friends and family at home or overseas from payphones and the pips would drive us nuts.

Separately, Marion's remark to Sally that she was in Tunbridge Wells "having tea and scones with some little old ladies" has always seemed a little bogus to me, like she was making it up. Apart from sounding made up, the call was made in the early morning UK time, and you wouldn't have tea and scones at that time. I know it sounds ridiculous, but they are just not breakfast food. "Little old ladies" and Australian tourists like Marion who wanted to act all British and dainty would have them in the afternoon at a tea shop or hotel lobby, not at dawn.

While I don't want to paint Marion as a deceptive person, it seems to be generally accepted that it was she who returned to Australia barely a day after this call. If it was her, she lied by omission to Sally about this imminent trip home to Australia *that same day*. Perhaps as the landing card says, it really was meant to be a quick one week trip home to sort out something that had arisen during the trip to Europe, and Marion preferred not to disclose it to Sally. After all, we do know that Marion had seen fit to not be open in general about aspects of her new relationship and her planned trip. That, plus the half-truths on the outgoing passenger card, do possibly suggest the influence of someone to whom deception is just their daily life.
Click to expand...
Theses are such excellent points!
 
sah10406 said:
Forgive me if this has been discussed before, but a friend and I were just discussing Marion's final payphone call to Sally on 31 July, which she said was form Tunbridge Wells, England. I know there are theories that she may have been calling from somewhere else on her way back to Australia, not from the UK, and I believe Sally only had Marion's word that she was calling from Tunbridge Wells.

How Sally describes the call does support the theory that Marion was not calling from a UK payphone. She says Marion had to redial a few times because the money kept running out. That is a red flag to us UK sleuths because with a UK payphone, whether you were using a pre-paid card or cash, the call would not just cut off when the money or credit ran out, forcing you to redial. You had a warning signal: if more money or a fresh pre-paid card was needed there was a series of "rapid pips" that both parties could hear. You had maybe 10 seconds to fumble for change or a new card, and only after that would it cut off if you didn't take action. I found a recording of the "rapid pips" here and I have passed them on to Joni:

https://www.pond5.com/sound-effects/item/8634028-bt-dial-payphone-pips

The "rapid pips" are very familiar and nostalgic to anyone who remembers the UK before mobile phones eclipsed payphones. They were very intrusive to the conversation. We all used to ring our friends and family at home or overseas from payphones and the pips would drive us nuts.

Separately, Marion's remark to Sally that she was in Tunbridge Wells "having tea and scones with some little old ladies" has always seemed a little bogus to me, like she was making it up. Apart from sounding made up, the call was made in the early morning UK time, and you wouldn't have tea and scones at that time. I know it sounds ridiculous, but they are just not breakfast food. "Little old ladies" and Australian tourists like Marion who wanted to act all British and dainty would have them in the afternoon at a tea shop or hotel lobby, not at dawn.

While I don't want to paint Marion as a deceptive person, it seems to be generally accepted that it was she who returned to Australia barely a day after this call. If it was her, she lied by omission to Sally about this imminent trip home to Australia *that same day*. Perhaps as the landing card says, it really was meant to be a quick one week trip home to sort out something that had arisen during the trip to Europe, and Marion preferred not to disclose it to Sally. After all, we do know that Marion had seen fit to not be open in general about aspects of her new relationship and her planned trip. That, plus the half-truths on the outgoing passenger card, do possibly suggest the influence of someone to whom deception is just their daily life.
Click to expand...
Ive been thinking about this and wonder if Perhaps in Marion’s mind she and RB were coming home for a week to sort out some financial matters, and so she took the opportunity to do a fun surprise visit to Sally and Owen, so she made up that story to Sally purely as a decoy. I did that to my parents one time when I said I wasn’t coming home for Xmas, but did, to surprise them. I got a friend to post a pre written post card to them so it would have the post mark on it, and when I spoke to them on the phone I pretended to be overseas, and then gave them an amazing Christmas surprise. I can imagine a plan like that could appeal to Marion
 
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