(Bolding is by me)
You are a hero too, CaMomx4 - for escaping, and for making the decision to break the cycle of abuse with your children. Your kids will know a happy, normal childhood thanks to you.
I bolded part of your post because that is something that can't be emphasized enough: child abuse goes on in "respectable" professional families, "people like us," and it's overlooked for that same reason. People who are working class, darker skinned, visibly poor, etc. are often suspected of abuse when there is none; likewise, families with money and whose parent(s) have professional careers are given the benefit of the doubt, and it's the
children in these families who are assumed to be troublemakers, not grateful for what they have, and so on.
DT was an engineer; LT a
homemaker, so outsiders and even authorities might have just seen Ozzie and Harriet albeit with more kids. College-educated, professional, suburban, "nice" etc. etc. families are absolutely given the benefit of the doubt. So I wouldn't be surprised if much of the lackadaisical response of outsiders and authorities and even family members until now was tied up with that. If the Turpins were poor, and even more if they were poor and not white, there would have been a lot more scrutiny, I am sure.
There is a book about abuse in upscale families - it is mostly about spouse abuse but I think it is applicable to child abuse:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/343202.Not_To_People_Like_Us called
Not To People Like Us by Susan Weitzman; I think it has a lot to apply to situations like this.