I wouldn't call myself a brave survivor tbh and I haven't been through anything that even compares to what these poor babes have suffered, but I do have some experience I think. When my sister and I in our late 40s had a few weeks, when due to tragic circumstances, when we together every day and most nights, we did a lot of talking. Because of the situation that was happening then we were trying to understand how someone could act a certain way, ended talking about when we were kids which we quite rarely did, it was too deep sometimes to go into. Anyway we discovered after looking a few things up that mum was very much NPD, not that I'd ever tell her to her face! lol I actually found it really traumatising looking things up and remembering things I thought I'd forgot. So many traits were perfectly described, the scapegoat and golden child, the apparent lack of love for own children but looking like the perfect mum with all her well behaved kids, the gas lighting, the hoarding and the total selfishness that demands everything be about them - nothing else matters. Mum is/was also very beautiful and young looking at any age, always getting male attention and admiration. And still there's the guilt for every time you feel hatred or bad feelings, it's a constant head **** sometimes to be honest. We actually live our own happy content lives as adults, family parties a couples times a year were quite stressful for me due to this constant confusion regarding my feelings to mum. So it was only when my sis and I starting talking that we really realised what we'd lived with as kids, then we found out what it all meant and put a name to it. Although it has given us some answers It's still upsetting and more so when you read something as sad as this. So in answer to your question, it made me feel better that we had discovered why but also really sad to think about it, which I try not to too much.
