ThinkThinkThink
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I understand that, but it was odd that it was pretty much all the time (especially by his mother) that she said "he was" instead of "he is". I dunno....I just found it strange and I have seen to mentioned before as well, but this time was so much more than usual.
Yes, I did notice this. It actually bothered me, especially in regard to the mother (whose thoughts I will often weigh more heavily, in terms of "instinct"/insight).
Here are a few reasons I came up with for why she, in particular, may have been using the past tense (FWIW):
1) She did express that she knew how difficult it would be for Derek to return, if he had just left on his own...so I thought that maybe she has doubt that he would be able to come back home and face up to all this.
2) It seems she (and the rest of her kids) live in a different state, and I thought that fact may affect the verb tense she uses...like when she says "he was loved," she is picturing him back in the state he was from with her memories, not in California.
3) To protect herself from future pain, perhaps she is just struggling within herself to remain hopeful...this aspect would be at the deepest subconscious level.
But I hear ya...I noticed it every single time someone used the past tense...