CA CA - Ember Graham, 7 mos, Happy Valley, 2 July 2015 - #2

[T4Tide]

I agree. I'm still at the anger phase of emotions about this case. I think the guy always lived in a universe surrounded by low-functioning, dysfunctional people. Because nowhere, no how was it a good idea to allow him to take an infant into such unsanitary squalor. Those conditions warranted an immediate removal of the child if CPS had been contacted. I just don't have a lot of sympathy for his enablers at this point.

JMO

By your and my standards, I agree. But people who grow up in squalor , who are raised by parents that grew up in squalor, have absolutely no idea what's it like to live in a home that meets our standards. I had to learn that the hard way in my nursing career. One time, a mother brought an infant car seat to discharge a newborn in our care, and when she sat it on the floor in our unit, roaches ran out of it everywhere. We kept new car seats on hand for those who couldn't purchase one, so we gave her one, along with some clothing, blankets, and supplies. I'd taken care of that baby and grown to love him, but I had to let him go and live the kind of life his mother was going to give him. We had babies leave to homes without electricity or running water. It's heartbreaking. I wish more than anything that every baby could come to a home like mine....with mopped floors, baby-proofed outlets, a supply of every baby gadget out there, and organic soap to wash their sweet head with, but that's not reality. It also doesn't mean that they aren't loved. Love is free. Some people just don't know any better.

However, most everyone knows better than to injure or cause death to their own child, and for that there is no excuse.

 

[SCHMAE]

Let's hope he left a new trail back to the baby, wherever she may be . Maybe he went back in hopes of cleaning up any evidence left behind in the last couple of days that LE can track . lease:

 

[Eileen730]

Bless this family. While I believe that MG was guilty of some sort of atrocities against his sweet, defenseless daughter, we now have a group of hurting people who have now not only lost Ember, but the son, husband, brother, friend, etc. that they didn't suspect would do such.

While his actions are vile, his mother once held, rocked, and sang to him, just like I do my own babies, envisioning a much different future for her son. There is relief, but we are left with a wake of broken, confused, and anguished hearts, and for that I truly empathetic.

May God be present, merciful, and comforting to them all.

Ya know it didn't have to end this way if they had just kept him in Jail.
I think every one of us here thought he would run I know I did.
This is very sad all around.
I hope they find this little angel.

 

[trigger]

Such a sad day but at least his family and his other child and their family can return to their homes and not be in any fear anymore.

Now the goal is to bring Ember home now that it's safe to do so.

 

[MsMarple]

I had an emergency and had to run out and now I'm back to this news and wondering how will baby Ember be found now ?

I don't think he was ever going to talk anyway. He was either overly confident in his hiding abilities or else Ember really is well hidden. I hope it's the former.

 

[courtneyb]

I agree. I'm still at the anger phase of emotions about this case. I think the guy always lived in a universe surrounded by low-functioning, dysfunctional people. Because nowhere, no how was it a good idea to allow him to take an infant into such unsanitary squalor. Those conditions warranted an immediate removal of the child if CPS had been contacted. I just don't have a lot of sympathy for his enablers at this point.

JMO

Me either. I have a hard time swallowing the fact that his family who supported him so staunchly since Ember went missing are the same people who allowed this baby to live or stay in what I consider squalor. Where were they this whole time when that was going on? Come on... that baby, especially with her medical condition, needed access to running water, electricity, a safe, comfortable home and air conditioning... Basic human needs!

 

[nikb]

I had an emergency and had to run out and now I'm back to this news and wondering how will baby Ember be found now ?

IMO... probably the same way she would've been found before (if she's found - ouch that hurt to type). By searchers. Maybe he left some sort of evidence behind unintentionally that will help, or we can hope against hope that maybe he confessed at least something to someone. I don't think he was going to tell, so I'm not convinced taking him alive would have even helped.

 

[Cubby]

bbm

Yes, either his brain was fried from drugs or he never had much of one to start with... a very low- functioning person all around.

It's the drugs. My experience with heavy pot users is they become lazy and stupid. Addiction is a sad, progressive disease which destroys without prejudice and I have no doubt MG was an addict due to his actions and inaction.

My heart is heavy for all involved. I wanted MG to spend his life in prison, not end like this.

 

[T4Tide]

Very scary! He slept right outside of their bedroom? I don't think I'd be able to sleep peacefully again for a lonnnnnng time. I'm glad he didn't physically harm them.

I do have a dumb question - why did he force them to start the car instead of just taking the keys? Between the homeowner recognizing him immediately and the fact that he had a gun pointed at the man, I bet getting into the car was absolutely terrifying.

Because it would cause him to have to temporarily take his eyes and the gun off of them. Making them start it ensured that they had given him the right key and the vehicle was in working order....all without him having to lose control or be distracted. MOO

 

[Purplepixii]

Suicide by cop?

I'm going with suicide by cop - it's a coward's way out and a route I thought he'd probably take if cornered. I guess on the "upside" the world is now free of one time-wasting-drug-taking-no-good-oxygen-thief. I just want to know where poor, innocent Ember is now.

 

[sunflowerchick]

By your and my standards, I agree. But people who grow up in squalor , who are raised by parents that grew up in squalor, have absolutely no idea what's it like to live in a home that meets our standards. I had to learn that the hard way in my nursing career. One time, a mother brought an infant car seat to discharge a newborn in our care, and when she sat it on the floor in our unit, roaches ran out of it everywhere. We kept new car seats on hand for those who couldn't purchase one, so we gave her one, along with some clothing, blankets, and supplies. I'd taken care of that baby and grown to love him, but I had to let him go and live the kind of life his mother was going to give him. We had babies leave to homes without electricity or running water. It's heartbreaking. I wish more than anything that every baby could come to a home like mine....with mopped floors, baby-proofed outlets, a supply of every baby gadget out there, and organic soap to wash their sweet head with, but that's not reality. It also doesn't mean that they aren't loved. Love is free. Some people just don't know any better.

However, most everyone knows better than to injury or cause death to their own child, and for that there is no excuse.

Yes, this! Thank you!

 

[nikb]

Because it would cause him to have to temporarily take his eyes and the gun off of them. Making them start it ensured that they had given him the right key and the vehicle was in working order....all without him having to lose control or be distracted. MOO

Ah thank you. That does actually make sense. Seems surprising considering how dumb some of the other things he did have been, but it does make sense.

 

[Cubby]

Very scary! He slept right outside of their bedroom? I don't think I'd be able to sleep peacefully again for a lonnnnnng time. I'm glad he didn't physically harm them.

I do have a dumb question - why did he force them to start the car instead of just taking the keys? Between the homeowner recognizing him immediately and the fact that he had a gun pointed at the man, I bet getting into the car was absolutely terrifying.

Did he force them to start the car? I'm going to guess the owner started the car himself so he could make sure the OnStar was on. Less chance of MG noticing the car had onstar with the owner starting it.... it didn't give MG a chance to notice it and have a turn in events. If my guess is correct, good thinking on the owners part.

 

[MyBelle]

By your and my standards, I agree. But people who grow up in squalor , who are raised by parents that grew up in squalor, have absolutely no idea what's it like to live in a home that meets our standards. I had to learn that the hard way in my nursing career. One time, a mother brought an infant car seat to discharge a newborn in our care, and when she sat it on the floor in our unit, roaches ran out of it everywhere. We kept new car seats on hand for those who couldn't purchase one, so we gave her one, along with some clothing, blankets, and supplies. I'd taken care of that baby and grown to love him, but I had to let him go and live the kind of life his mother was going to give him. We had babies leave to homes without electricity or running water. It's heartbreaking. I wish more than anything that every baby could come to a home like mine....with mopped floors, baby-proofed outlets, a supply of every baby gadget out there, and organic soap to wash their sweet head with, but that's not reality. It also doesn't mean that they aren't loved. Love is free. Some people just don't know any better.

However, most everyone knows better than to injury or cause death to their own child, and for that there is no excuse.

Your compassion is commendable but MG's mother is former LE and for that reason alone I doubt MG grew up in squalor. I also doubt baby Ember and her mother were living in squalor for six months prior to her fateful decision to leave the child with him for the night. Their families had the responsibility to step in and didn't.

JMO

 

[nikb]

Did he force them to start the car? I'm going to guess the owner started the car himself so he could make sure the OnStar was on. Less chance of MG noticing the car had onstar with the owner starting it.... it didn't give MG a chance to notice it and have a turn in events. If my guess is correct, good thinking on the owners part.

This news story is saying MG forced them: http://www.krcrtv.com/news/local/po...le-possibly-stolen-by-matthew-graham/34130680

The homeowners told KRCR News Channel 7 Graham held them at gunpoint and forced them to start their car.

But I know 'facts' are going to be sketchy with the early reporting.

 

[MyBelle]

Me either. I have a hard time swallowing the fact that his family who supported him so staunchly since Ember went missing are the same people who allowed this baby to live or stay in what I consider squallor. Where were they this whole time when that was going on? Come on... that baby, especially with her medical condition, needed access to running water, electricity, a safe, comfortable home and air conditioning... Basic human needs!

ITA. A serious intervention was needed and never happened.

JMO

 

[Cubby]

Me either. I have a hard time swallowing the fact that his family who supported him so staunchly since Ember went missing are the same people who allowed this baby to live or stay in what I consider squallor. Where were they this whole time when that was going on? Come on... that baby, especially with her medical condition, needed access to running water, electricity, a safe, comfortable home and air conditioning... Basic human needs!

Respectfully, there is a whole back story to this situation and I am not going to assume all the adults sat back with full knowledge of the situation and did nothing. I can think of too many possibilities for that to happen, and no addict is an open book to their family and friends.

 

[T4Tide]

Did he force them to start the car? I'm going to guess the owner started the car himself so he could make sure the OnStar was on. Less chance of MG noticing the car had onstar with the owner starting it.... it didn't give MG a chance to notice it and have a turn in events. If my guess is correct, good thinking on the owners part.

I'm more willing to bet that a 2007 vehicle didn't even have OnStar "connected," as in them paying a monthly fee. You don't actually turn OnStar on. It probably just had OnStar capabilities, in which the company was able to activate upon the request of law enforcement, even without an active account. (Good in this and accidental situations; scary in a Big Brother sense.)

 

[SCHMAE]

My heart goes out to Ember's mother. I don't know what lies ahead for her but I'm sure it's going to be more unpleasant than it is today. I'm sorry, honey.

 

[Cubby]

This news story is saying MG forced them: http://www.krcrtv.com/news/local/po...le-possibly-stolen-by-matthew-graham/34130680

The homeowners told KRCR News Channel 7 Graham held them at gunpoint and forced them to start their car.

But I know 'facts' are going to be sketchy with the early reporting.

Thank you. I missed that...... more dumb luck then I guess for MG that the car had gps. I'm just so sad now the chances of find Ember went to almost nil when MG died.

We can only hope he was stupid and hasty in where he hid her and she is found.