Found Deceased CA - Erin Valenti, 33, from Utah, en-route from Palo Alto to San Jose, 7 Oct 2019 #2

[happyday]

I haven't had a chance to get all the details but from what I know of this case, it reminds me of a situation I had. A guy who was at a dinner I attended drugged me. There was about 10 of us and I had no idea he was interested in me. I had to leave after dinner and got into my car sober. By the time I parked, I was so messed up I fell out of my car. I couldn't find my friend's apartment that I had been to many times even though I could see her patio door from my car. I lost my shoes in the parking lot, broke her towel holder with my body when I crashed into her wall, couldn't stand, lost my purse and wallet and couldn't remember almost anything after leaving the dinner besides being more messed up than I have ever been. I woke up passed out on my knees and face with my voicemail full from messages from him and about 25 missed calls. Found out a couple days later he drugged me with liquid ketamine. I never had any bad vibe from him and was shocked he did that at a friendly private dinner with close friends. This reminds me of that. I bet Jacobson knows why she was the way she was

OMG this is so scary! Did you ever find out what the guy’s intention was for drugging you? Did he plan on finding out where you were and coming to find you, but you didn’t answer? I’m also suspicious of this last meeting Erin had before she went off the rails on the way to the airport, but my question would be why? Why would he drug her and let her go off on her way to the airport? Maybe he tried to locate her but couldn’t? If not I just don’t get a motivation for doing that, but at the same time it seems like the most logical answer.
Anyway, so glad you were okay! That sounds terrifying!

 

[CSIDreamer]

I haven't had a chance to get all the details but from what I know of this case, it reminds me of a situation I had. A guy who was at a dinner I attended drugged me. There was about 10 of us and I had no idea he was interested in me. I had to leave after dinner and got into my car sober. By the time I parked, I was so messed up I fell out of my car. I couldn't find my friend's apartment that I had been to many times even though I could see her patio door from my car. I lost my shoes in the parking lot, broke her towel holder with my body when I crashed into her wall, couldn't stand, lost my purse and wallet and couldn't remember almost anything after leaving the dinner besides being more messed up than I have ever been. I woke up passed out on my knees and face with my voicemail full from messages from him and about 25 missed calls. Found out a couple days later he drugged me with liquid ketamine. I never had any bad vibe from him and was shocked he did that at a friendly private dinner with close friends. This reminds me of that. I bet Jacobson knows why she was the way she was

Thank you for sharing this. It's this type of thing that makes one wonder what really took place there. I am so glad you're okay.

 

[Steelslady]

Thanks for posting this article. I found it very interesting, and concerning as well. Let me quote the two concerning paragraphs:

"Valenti is believed to have been last seen by a former manager of hers at Summit Partners, Dean Jacobson, on Monday afternoon. He recalls Valenti as “vibrant” and “uniquely talented” in an email, though he did not want to be interviewed for this story." Emphasis is mine.

And this:

A police investigation is ongoing, though a spokesman for the San Jose police would not say more for this story, including whether the police had ruled out foul play.

So Jacobson is the last person to see Erin alive, and Jacobson did not want to be interviewed for the news story. In my opinion, it sounds suspicious. What happened in that last meeting? Also note, the police have not ruled out foul play.

Now that is a switch- LE not ruling out foul play.

 

[Steelslady]

I haven't had a chance to get all the details but from what I know of this case, it reminds me of a situation I had. A guy who was at a dinner I attended drugged me. There was about 10 of us and I had no idea he was interested in me. I had to leave after dinner and got into my car sober. By the time I parked, I was so messed up I fell out of my car. I couldn't find my friend's apartment that I had been to many times even though I could see her patio door from my car. I lost my shoes in the parking lot, broke her towel holder with my body when I crashed into her wall, couldn't stand, lost my purse and wallet and couldn't remember almost anything after leaving the dinner besides being more messed up than I have ever been. I woke up passed out on my knees and face with my voicemail full from messages from him and about 25 missed calls. Found out a couple days later he drugged me with liquid ketamine. I never had any bad vibe from him and was shocked he did that at a friendly private dinner with close friends. This reminds me of that. I bet Jacobson knows why she was the way she was

I am so sorry that you went through this- how scary! I am glad that you made it to your friends house and didn't end up with this jerk that night!

 

[janewall]

I haven't had a chance to get all the details but from what I know of this case, it reminds me of a situation I had. A guy who was at a dinner I attended drugged me. There was about 10 of us and I had no idea he was interested in me. I had to leave after dinner and got into my car sober. By the time I parked, I was so messed up I fell out of my car. I couldn't find my friend's apartment that I had been to many times even though I could see her patio door from my car. I lost my shoes in the parking lot, broke her towel holder with my body when I crashed into her wall, couldn't stand, lost my purse and wallet and couldn't remember almost anything after leaving the dinner besides being more messed up than I have ever been. I woke up passed out on my knees and face with my voicemail full from messages from him and about 25 missed calls. Found out a couple days later he drugged me with liquid ketamine. I never had any bad vibe from him and was shocked he did that at a friendly private dinner with close friends. This reminds me of that. I bet Jacobson knows why she was the way she was

This is terrible abuse of another human being, and should be considered a serious violent crime in every jurisdiction. I'm so relieved that you survived the experience, and I do hope that once the details of what happened to you came to light that you got some justice in the matter. People who drug others for any motive, be it a prank or to control/immobilize/disable their actions, or any other reason, are predators, nothing less, and deserve to be punished for assault and attempted murder.

MOO

 

[annemc2]

I had not unsubd. from this thread but I did not receive notifications.
I just got this

How Erin Valenti died remains a mystery as family searches for answers – Crypto Dictation

I know that my thoughts are biased because we've heard about her sounding manic/psychotic while on the phone that night. That might color how I read this very informative article.

In the last year, Valenti seemed ready for another change. What she wanted to do next, though, was unclear.She’d told Clint Betts that she wanted to buy billboards along Interstate 15 to announce a venture fund that would invest in companies led by women, with the intent of starting a conversation and not a firm. Stellhorn knew her friend to be working on a clothing line for professional women who “slay at work and sex.” And Rafferty, who saw Valenti the week before her death, said she wanted to support artists and filmmakers.Others say the entrepreneur had plans to finance a startup accelerator inside her company. Her cofounder, Khan, said the two had discussed the idea only casually.”She had a million half-cooked ideas and mini projects and prototypes floating,” said Weinstein, who believed his wife wanted to work on a travel-inspired business. She would call friends on car rides to discuss, or gather them at home to brainstorm over a bottle of wine.Her feelings of restlessness grew and, in late summer, Valenti reached out to Rafferty about wanting an executive coach.

Could she have been experiencing increasing periods of hypomania during this time? Sometimes the changes are so insidious and subtle that it's hard for people to notice. Say for example, like when your spouse gains weight and you don't really notice until they have become obese. My dad's cognitive decline was like this. Looking back, he was really losing it the year before his death but we were in too deep to really see the slow progression. I know that Erin's husband is a psychologist but this doesn't mean that possible hypomanic episodes were minimized or normalized. That's usually our natural reaction in that sort of situation.

Also according to the article, "According to her father, Joseph Valenti, she also did some shopping. Valenti’s credit-card statements show she spent several hundred dollars on vinyl records, though she didn’t own a turntable." It doesn't specify which day, but infers that this shopping trip happened earlier that weekend. Were the albums a gift for someone? Did she have them in her luggage? Maybe she wanted to use them as art or something?

The article also references a retreat that happened earlier in October in Laguna Nigel: "The last time he saw her, Rafferty said, she was bouncing from guest to guest at a sunset dinner on the hotel lawn." Was this her normal extroverted behavior, or was this escalating euphoria and grandiosity? Was she actually eating at these functions? Was she sleeping normally? Was her manner of dress/grooming/makeup typical for her that weekend?

I know this post is kind of a rehash of what's already been said and does not help to determine her cause of death but that article that @kittythehare posted really had some interesting points. Thanks for sharing and for indulging me in writing this massive comment!

 

[Auntie Cipation]

What worried me from that article was her brother, I think, saying she had traveled to California "to be inspired".

That might be entirely innocuous and referring to the coaching/conference/talks with friends, but to me it sounded like a person who might be open to the kinds of mind-bending drug experiences we keep reading are prevalent/popular in the tech world these days.

Possibly even a person who wasn't otherwise into drugs might have been talked into trying something that would "inspire" her.

I hope her dinner partners are forthright in telling LE all they know about what might have happened to Erin.

 

[realanastasia]

ITA, AnneMc2! This passage was kind of the clincher for me—"According to her father, Joseph Valenti, she also did some shopping. Valenti’s credit-card statements show she spent several hundred dollars on vinyl records, though she didn’t own a turntable.” I suspect that these records would have been recovered when she was located and, had they obviously been intended for a close friend or family member, the family surely would’ve written these purchases off as just normal—if a bit extravagant!—preparation for a gift-giving occasion (birthday, anniversary, etc.) and wouldn’t have said anything about it to this reporter. Going on shopping sprees and/or buying items for which the purchaser has no ostensible need/desire/use is, IIRC, a textbook example of hypomanic behavior. Sounds like she had a history of racing thoughts, grandiose ideas, and a lack of ability (or desire) to focus on one thing for too long, These traits seem to have been considered unremarkable/not troubling by friends and family, which IMO might have been due to her reputation as a free-spirited “visionary.” From my perspective, though, they just make me think she had been struggling with untreated mental health issues (like bipolar disorder) for longer than anyone close to her realized.

The preceding is strictly IMO/MOO!

 

[claudianunes]

When she went missing and the information that we got was "she doesn't have mental health issues, she's not depressed, she's not suicidal", but then, as soon as people started to find her social media accounts and I finally took a look at it, I knew that at least the "she's not depressed" statement was probably not true. Some stuff that she used to write on her Instagram show someone going through some issues. I think her family just didn't notice that she was having a rough time.

 

[happyday]

When she went missing and the information that we got was "she doesn't have mental health issues, she's not depressed, she's not suicidal", but then, as soon as people started to find her social media accounts and I finally took a look at it, I knew that at least the "she's not depressed" statement was probably not true. Some stuff that she used to write on her Instagram show someone going through some issues. I think her family just didn't notice that she was having a rough time.

I agree with you and the other posters that she did seem to possibly be struggling with some mental health issues, including mania, and maybe her friends and family wrote it off as her being “eccentric.” But then something else had to have killed her and I would definitely be looking at the last meeting/dinner she had. Although it’s also possible she picked up some sort of drug from one of the other conferences/meetups she attended throughout the weekend. I know bipolar/mania episodes can cause really risky behavior so she could have recklessly taken way more of something and it was fatal. I am so interested in the tox results—hopefully it will tell something!

 

[Kittybunny]

I know that my thoughts are biased because we've heard about her sounding manic/psychotic while on the phone that night. That might color how I read this very informative article.

In the last year, Valenti seemed ready for another change. What she wanted to do next, though, was unclear.She’d told Clint Betts that she wanted to buy billboards along Interstate 15 to announce a venture fund that would invest in companies led by women, with the intent of starting a conversation and not a firm. Stellhorn knew her friend to be working on a clothing line for professional women who “slay at work and sex.” And Rafferty, who saw Valenti the week before her death, said she wanted to support artists and filmmakers.Others say the entrepreneur had plans to finance a startup accelerator inside her company. Her cofounder, Khan, said the two had discussed the idea only casually.”She had a million half-cooked ideas and mini projects and prototypes floating,” said Weinstein, who believed his wife wanted to work on a travel-inspired business. She would call friends on car rides to discuss, or gather them at home to brainstorm over a bottle of wine.Her feelings of restlessness grew and, in late summer, Valenti reached out to Rafferty about wanting an executive coach.

Could she have been experiencing increasing periods of hypomania during this time? Sometimes the changes are so insidious and subtle that it's hard for people to notice. Say for example, like when your spouse gains weight and you don't really notice until they have become obese. My dad's cognitive decline was like this. Looking back, he was really losing it the year before his death but we were in too deep to really see the slow progression. I know that Erin's husband is a psychologist but this doesn't mean that possible hypomanic episodes were minimized or normalized. That's usually our natural reaction in that sort of situation.

Also according to the article, "According to her father, Joseph Valenti, she also did some shopping. Valenti’s credit-card statements show she spent several hundred dollars on vinyl records, though she didn’t own a turntable." It doesn't specify which day, but infers that this shopping trip happened earlier that weekend. Were the albums a gift for someone? Did she have them in her luggage? Maybe she wanted to use them as art or something?

The article also references a retreat that happened earlier in October in Laguna Nigel: "The last time he saw her, Rafferty said, she was bouncing from guest to guest at a sunset dinner on the hotel lawn." Was this her normal extroverted behavior, or was this escalating euphoria and grandiosity? Was she actually eating at these functions? Was she sleeping normally? Was her manner of dress/grooming/makeup typical for her that weekend?

I know this post is kind of a rehash of what's already been said and does not help to determine her cause of death but that article that @kittythehare posted really had some interesting points. Thanks for sharing and for indulging me in writing this massive comment!

I totally agree! That article was so informative, and those passages you highlighted really also raised all the hypermanic flags for me, euphoria, reckless spending, a million ideas, impulsiveness. Like you said, it's not her direct cause of death, but a clue, and potentially a big one to risky behaviors.

 

[MimosaMornings]

I wonder about the 2pm checkout - figured she would have been up early and meeting friends/coworkers and needed to gas up rental car, return car, airport check in, security, etc.
I usually got a late check out if I had an early morning 7am conference call or had a bit of a hangover.

 

[Mzt]

OMG this is so scary! Did you ever find out what the guy’s intention was for drugging you? Did he plan on finding out where you were and coming to find you, but you didn’t answer? I’m also suspicious of this last meeting Erin had before she went off the rails on the way to the airport, but my question would be why? Why would he drug her and let her go off on her way to the airport? Maybe he tried to locate her but couldn’t? If not I just don’t get a motivation for doing that, but at the same time it seems like the most logical answer.
Anyway, so glad you were okay! That sounds terrifying!

I think he wanted to lower my inhibitions so he could make a move. He thought we were all hanging out after the dinner and going to a comedy club. They were but I had made plans with friends so I left as soon as I was done eating and slammed back my diet coke i had left on the counter where I had been cooking and cleaning. He also was cooking and cleaning up so he had plenty of opportunities. I have always been super careful of watching my drink in public but never expected a friend to do that. He never admitted it was him but he brought it up to my roommate that he found an empty vial that contained liquid ketamine tossed on the floor and he thought someone else had drugged me. It was clearly him. He bugged my roommates the entire time to go find me, the voicemails became increasingly concerned about my wellbeing and he even had the balls to stop by the next day to see if I was ok. There wasnt one other person at the dinner scared for me. They knew I drove away sober and didn't think anything of it. Meanwhile he's losing it all night and made my friends uncomfortable by how fixated on me he was because he has never been like that towards me. I don't think he expected me to react that strongly. I think in his twisted mind he thought if he could loosen me up I would be interested in him. In reality he could have killed me. I still get anxiety thinking about driving in that state.

The reason I was leaning towards this kind of a situation is that maybe someone gave her a little something to loosen her up, knowing she's married and time is limited and she reacted completely unexpected. A small amount to one person can cause a psychotic break in another. I hope this wasn't the case.

 

[Podengo]

Collecting vinyl is a hobby and quite popular right now. Most collectors have a turntable but not all. I don't find it weird that she bought them without a player. Moo

 

[Mzt]

This is terrible abuse of another human being, and should be considered a serious violent crime in every jurisdiction. I'm so relieved that you survived the experience, and I do hope that once the details of what happened to you came to light that you got some justice in the matter. People who drug others for any motive, be it a prank or to control/immobilize/disable their actions, or any other reason, are predators, nothing less, and deserve to be punished for assault and attempted murder.

MOO

I absolutely agree with you but no justice was served. I didn't realize what had happened for a few days. I could barely move and my head was super foggy. My roommate assumed I had gone out and gotten beyond drunk when I left and was suffering an extreme hangover even though I said I didnt. By the next day, my other roommate thought something was up and mentioned it to the creep that he thought I was drugged and that's when the story of a random empty ketamine vial was found. My roommate instantly knew he did it. I actually did call and talk to a police officer and they said with no proof, no toxicology report and no hospital visit that it's my word against his. It was an eye opening experience at how confusing drugging is and how everyone just assumes you did it to yourself. I was scared he'd do it to someone else because he absolutely is a predator and put his selfish needs above my health and safety. If he could do that to a friend.... I can't imagine what else he's done.

 

[happyday]

Wow. Just wow. He seriously could have killed you. Or others on the road while you were driving like that.

One thing that struck me about your story is how you reacted on the drug. I don’t know much about ketamine, but I tend to think of “date rape drugs” just knocking someone unconscious. But you were DOING things! Driving and talking and getting lost etc. I don’t know how long you were in that state until you did become unconscious, and the 6 hours or so Erin was on the phone seems like an awfully long time. But like you said, people react differently to drugs, and who knows even what drug it was if she was indeed drugged.

Your experience makes it even more likely in my mind that she was drugged or at least took something herself.

 

[10ofRods]

I had not unsubd. from this thread but I did not receive notifications.
I just got this

How Erin Valenti died remains a mystery as family searches for answers – Crypto Dictation

Thank you for that. Up until now, I thought that Erin was actually from SLC, but apparently her parents live in the East? So, they would not have had a lot of day-to-day face-to-face contact with her, recently. If her moods were becoming unregulated, they would have had only phone calls by which to judge.

It's easy to miss hypomania, that's for sure. One thing that strikes me is how incredibly social she was. Lots of energy for meeting others/networking.

Some of the triggers for a more full blown bout of mania would include lack of sleep, exciting new stimuli, travel. IOW, disruption to regular routines. Some bipolars, as they go through treatment, realize this and get remarkably concerned about maintaining whatever routine they think is working for them.

It's possible that Erin had had trouble sleeping in the past and had some sort of sleep medicine with her, but it's still really hard to explain how she could fall asleep and just not wake up. The toxicology report should be available soon, I'd think.

 

[Mzt]

Wow. Just wow. He seriously could have killed you. Or others on the road while you were driving like that.

One thing that struck me about your story is how you reacted on the drug. I don’t know much about ketamine, but I tend to think of “date rape drugs” just knocking someone unconscious. But you were DOING things! Driving and talking and getting lost etc. I don’t know how long you were in that state until you did become unconscious, and the 6 hours or so Erin was on the phone seems like an awfully long time. But like you said, people react differently to drugs, and who knows even what drug it was if she was indeed drugged.

Your experience makes it even more likely in my mind that she was drugged or at least took something herself.

The scariest part about it was I was out functioning and nobody noticed something was clearly wrong. When I got to my friend's, they brushed my behavior off on me lying about drinking or smoking pot at the dinner and didn't believe me that I didn't. I was so confused that I didn't push it and we didnt have a lot of time because we were headed to a party. I was able to go in and socialize until I started talking weird and was guided to the area with people that were recreationally taking drugs. I remember starting to be unable to hold my head up and struggling to coordinate my movements so bad that I made the drug users uncomfortable and they found a friend to come help me. At that point my friend's decided I needed to go so we went back to my friend's and that's when I fell back and broke the towel holder. They brought me home around 1:30 or 2 in the morning and that's when I passed out on my knees crawling into bed and woke up face planted. I used to think the same about you falling asleep quickly when you are drugged and so did my friends. I was a mess that progressively kept getting worse and I talked the entire time. Some of it was sane but as the night wore on, none of it was. As messed up as I was, there was a part of me trying to maintain order and appear normal. I remember dumping out any alcoholic drinks anyone gave me and trying to pretend I was drinking by holding the empty can. I was pouring a drink down the bathroom sink when I fell back. Another thing that I wouldn't have expected was that I locked the door behind me when I came home and did other little things in my routine.

Her being in her car with her doors locked would have been what I would have done if I wasn't brought home. It's extremely confusing when you don't knowingly ingest drugs and if you are a bit of an odd one to begin with, people brush your behavior off. I too am a person with a million projects started and never finished and have lots of interests that dont make sense to some and I dont suffer from mental illness.

 

[cvaldez1975]

I absolutely agree with you but no justice was served. I didn't realize what had happened for a few days. I could barely move and my head was super foggy. My roommate assumed I had gone out and gotten beyond drunk when I left and was suffering an extreme hangover even though I said I didnt. By the next day, my other roommate thought something was up and mentioned it to the creep that he thought I was drugged and that's when the story of a random empty ketamine vial was found. My roommate instantly knew he did it. I actually did call and talk to a police officer and they said with no proof, no toxicology report and no hospital visit that it's my word against his. It was an eye opening experience at how confusing drugging is and how everyone just assumes you did it to yourself. I was scared he'd do it to someone else because he absolutely is a predator and put his selfish needs above my health and safety. If he could do that to a friend.... I can't imagine what else he's done.

i had this done to me by a female friend who was secretly angry at me and wanted to make a fool of me. i was foggy for days too. i had a few drinks and was mystified why i got like that and hung over for so long. i wouldn't have figured it out if a male acquaintance that i ran into that night, called me a few days later to see how i was and told me that those girls weren't my friends....

 

[crhedBngr]

i had this done to me by a female friend who was secretly angry at me and wanted to make a fool of me. i was foggy for days too. i had a few drinks and was mystified why i got like that and hung over for so long. i wouldn't have figured it out if a male acquaintance that i ran into that night, called me a few days later to see how i was and told me that those girls weren't my friends....

Ugh, I'm sorry this happened to you. Thank goodness for the guy who called, and told you about it!