CA CA - Farren Stanberry, 18, San Francisco, 24 Apr 1980

[Ciriii57]

I now believe what is in the case file, said by Farren's roommates "Farren left for work one day and never came back." more than "Farren was visiting a gay man at the National Hotel who later died of AIDS." The later is still possible, but I am now attributing this to "uncertain and unclear information." I am going with the roommates response, until I see evidence of something different. The "Visiting a gay man" sounds like a cover up for something else if that is even true.

Did you add this after, I only just saw that bit....but yes, wholeheartedly agree. I have been shying away from the gay man comment. It can't be verified and seems off.

Forgot to mention to everyone. Yesterday I emailed the San Francisco Historical Society asking for information on the location of any Marriott Corporation businesses. They're a huge organisation so I may not be answered so am also gonna see if I can find some independent historians or bloggers, possibly a Tenderloin specific one, who might have more time to help.

And to let everyone know of something else I'm doing....and you might all think I'm crazy! With some helpful input from @Satch (thank you) and inspired by Richard Colbeth "blanketing" San Francisco with missing person postcards, I have created a missing persons poster asking for anyone at all who remembers him to email with ANY info. I set up an email address called findfarrenstanberry too. (I wanted findfarren or find-farren but these were taken!)
My idea is to send personalised emails with the poster to ...well everywhere in SF I can get details for! Starting with places that existed in Farrens time and around the hotel. I'm gonna ask if they would ask anyone they know who was around in 1980 and maybe put it up in their lobby, staff room, noticeboard....You get the idea.
I realise about 99% of people will ignore it so you might all think I'm crazy but it only takes that 1%. And this is something I can do. Nobody responded to RC, but maybe now people may be willing to share who knows.
I don't have the poster saved on my phone but @Satch has a copy (wrong email address) so may share it here.

 

[Satch]

@Ciriii57,

Everything looks good! I will wait til you have the poster set up with the correct email address for tips and than, we can post it here so that the email reflector is correct.

Actually, I have been discounting the "Visiting a gay man theory" for several days. When we get more physical concrete evidence about Farren's life in San Francisco, we can choose what to do with that statement. For now, "Farren left for work one day and never came back" is what I believe.

We are adding to RC's efforts with something that he did not have in the 90's. The power of the Internet! Somebody in San Francisco has to have remembered something about Farren, and may even know exactly what happened to him!

Regardless of the outcome of this case, @Ciriii57 I am VERY emotionally connected to Farren and I know @Ciriii57 feels the same way. Regardless of the outcome, we will never, ever forget him, and he will always be someone who deserves so much more than what life gave to him!

Satch

 

[KathPlumber]

Hi Everyone,

I finally got around to looking at the "Gay Crusader" newspaper. Did anyone else have a look?, because I am afraid I didn't find anything relevant at all as to when Farren would have been there, I checked for the whole of 1980 and all I could find was the below article called "Those gay Inns" which is telling people about the worst gay hotels in San Francisco..."The National Hotel. To those of us who live here, we "know" the place, and would only reccomend it to those in dire need". This edition was published in May 1980...right when Farren would have been there! Not a glowing recommendation.

View attachment 432584

https://digitalassets.lib.berkeley.edu/sfbagals/Gay_Pride_Crusader/1980_Gay_Crusader_No98_May_28.pdf

A previous manager was named in 1977 as "Grady" and "Grand Grady" but far from any criminal activity it was reported that he was giving a meal for old people. There is also mention in 1977 that the hotel was where alot of underage sex happened and was the hang out for the Leather fetish guys. However, this was 3 years before Farren would have arrived at the hotel and so we can't really say if was like that when he stayed there. "Grady" may have been there, or maybe not. I feel like the hotel had come under new management by this point.

I am not sure if I have missed something?

Hi, i definitely didn’t mean to imply that this Grady guy was a criminal himself! Just that there were a lot of stories in the Gay Crusader that made the joint sound like there was crime and violence around. There’s also a lot of random stuff written in there and like I said, is this gossip rubbish or is this all a big Injoke for those in the know, or is it part truth or whole?

the hotel changed hands at some point in the early 80s. But I still think the material from the last 70s is relevant as scene setting.

The first two grabs are from 1976 and the third is a front page from 1977

 

[KathPlumber]

Here’s another anecdote about Grady and life at the National hotel, from the “Thelma Dirt” section which I take to be the “blind items” extra gossip gossip. This is June 1978. I’ll leave it here - suffice to say I can’t imagine the hotel had cleaned its act up all that fast. And is that a reference to manager Carl too?

I think we’ve speculated here before that Farren might have been in San Fran as early as 1979. We don’t have proof he was anywhere else, right?
https://digitalassets.lib.berkeley.edu/sfbagals/Gay_Pride_Crusader/1978_Gay_Crusader_No59_Jun.pdf

 

[Ciriii57]

Here’s another anecdote about Grady and life at the National hotel, from the “Thelma Dirt” section which I take to be the “blind items” extra gossip gossip. This is June 1978. I’ll leave it here - suffice to say I can’t imagine the hotel had cleaned its act up all that fast. And is that a reference to manager Carl too?

I think we’ve speculated here before that Farren might have been in San Fran as early as 1979. We don’t have proof he was anywhere else, right?
https://digitalassets.lib.berkeley.edu/sfbagals/Gay_Pride_Crusader/1978_Gay_Crusader_No59_Jun.pdf

Thanks for explaining @KathPlumber I did wonder if I had missed something vital! I got so excited I read too much into your post I think haha
Yes these articles certainly give a very clear picture of what life was most probably like when Farren was there. Very interesting reading. The articles about young men going to SF from the country and being either murdered or suicidal on drugs were very telling about what might potentially happen to an out of towner!

And at least we know now that there was someone working there called OG and a Carl too at some point. Whether they worked there in 1980 I don't know. It sounds like the National was owned by someone who owned a few of these SROs around SF. The same was true of Vincent Kircher who I believe was the owner in 1980 (I only think this so don't quote me). The could always have retained the same staff.

 

[Satch]

Here’s another anecdote about Grady and life at the National hotel, from the “Thelma Dirt” section which I take to be the “blind items” extra gossip gossip. This is June 1978. I’ll leave it here - suffice to say I can’t imagine the hotel had cleaned its act up all that fast. And is that a reference to manager Carl too?

I think we’ve speculated here before that Farren might have been in San Fran as early as 1979. We don’t have proof he was anywhere else, right?
https://digitalassets.lib.berkeley.edu/sfbagals/Gay_Pride_Crusader/1978_Gay_Crusader_No59_Jun.pdf

Yes,

From a John Day Oregon law enforcement standpoint, they only have information about Farren being in San Francisco, and can verify his last phone call to family, April 26, 1980. However,he was not reported missing until June of 1980. Only Farren's family has knowledge through his phone calls after leaving John Day Oregon on or around his birthday August 26, 1979-to April 25, 1980 concerning where he was during those times. John Day LE claims to have sent Farren's missing person's files to SFPD. But they either lost his file,or never got the file.

WS policy is we are not allowed to sleuth family members of the missing and post about that, so unless we can find someone who is not family, knew Farren from August 26, 1979 to August 25, 1980, we will never know of his whereabouts during that time-frame. Even finding out where he started out his travels after boarding that Greyhound Bus would be a godsend!

Satch

 

[KathPlumber]

Did you add this after, I only just saw that bit....but yes, wholeheartedly agree. I have been shying away from the gay man comment. It can't be verified and seems off.

Forgot to mention to everyone. Yesterday I emailed the San Francisco Historical Society asking for information on the location of any Marriott Corporation businesses. They're a huge organisation so I may not be answered so am also gonna see if I can find some independent historians or bloggers, possibly a Tenderloin specific one, who might have more time to help.

And to let everyone know of something else I'm doing....and you might all think I'm crazy! With some helpful input from @Satch (thank you) and inspired by Richard Colbeth "blanketing" San Francisco with missing person postcards, I have created a missing persons poster asking for anyone at all who remembers him to email with ANY info. I set up an email address called findfarrenstanberry too. (I wanted findfarren or find-farren but these were taken!)
My idea is to send personalised emails with the poster to ...well everywhere in SF I can get details for! Starting with places that existed in Farrens time and around the hotel. I'm gonna ask if they would ask anyone they know who was around in 1980 and maybe put it up in their lobby, staff room, noticeboard....You get the idea.
I realise about 99% of people will ignore it so you might all think I'm crazy but it only takes that 1%. And this is something I can do. Nobody responded to RC, but maybe now people may be willing to share who knows.
I don't have the poster saved on my phone but @Satch has a copy (wrong email address) so may share it here.

Maybe the newsletters associated with these services for the older generation of LGBTIQ+ community in San Francisco could be a useful place

Newsletter – Lavender Seniors

Openhouse SF

 

[Ciriii57]

Yes,

From a John Day Oregon law enforcement standpoint, they only have information about Farren being in San Francisco, and can verify his last phone call to family, April 26, 1980. However,he was not reported missing until June of 1980. Only Farren's family has knowledge through his phone calls after leaving John Day Oregon on or around his birthday August 26, 1979-to April 25, 1980 concerning where he was during those times. John Day LE claims to have sent Farren's missing person's files to SFPD. But they either lost his file,or never got the file.

WS policy is we are not allowed to sleuth family members of the missing and post about that, so unless we can find someone who is not family, knew Farren from August 26, 1979 to August 25, 1980, we will never know of his whereabouts during that time-frame. Even finding out where he started out his travels after boarding that Greyhound Bus would be a godsend!

Satch

It really is essential to find anyone who can fill in the blanks!

I have asked Sgt Rand these things actually. Whether he knows where Farren went before SF. If he knows how long he'd been in SF and also I asked if it was known whether Farren called or wrote to anyone else like friends during his travels? You would think he would right? If nothing else but to show off to his mates!

I personally do believe that Farren travelled East first as his family said. But I don't believe this was as far as the East coast. I'd love to know where that Greyhound was headed!

 

[Ciriii57]

Maybe the newsletters associated with these services for the older generation of LGBTIQ+ community in San Francisco could be a useful place

Newsletter – Lavender Seniors

Openhouse SF

That would be a PERFECT place to start! Thank you so much for your knowledgeable input!
I never even thought about places specifically for seniors!

 

[Satch]

Correct this if wrong,

But these are the dates that we know for sure:

August 26, 1961-Farren's born

August 26, 1979-Farren's 18th Birthday- Tells family he "Wants to see the world" on his birthday, or shortly thereafter.

April 26, 1980-Farren's last phone call to family. Says he is staying at the National Hotel in San Fransisco "with some other men" and liking it there. Reports losing his job. Calls his Mother, asks her to send money, she refuses. Calls his grandmother, tells her "I love you." Is never seen or heard from again.

Several weeks later (do we have an exact date on this?) The family calls the hotel to find out Farren owed hotel fees, and left without paying, leaving all of his belongings behind. (I wonder who called the National Hotel to inquire about Farren? Best guess is that it was Farren's grandmother again.)

June 16, 1980-Farren is reported missing to the John Day Oregon Police Department by his grandmother.

Had SFPD gotten a copy of Farren's missing person's reports from JDPD, and an investigation began at this time, I think we would have known so much more.

Satch

 

[Ciriii57]

Correct this if wrong,

But these are the dates that we know for sure:

August 26, 1961-Farren's born

August 26, 1979-Farren's 18th Birthday- Tells family he "Wants to see the world" on his birthday, or shortly thereafter.

April 26, 1980-Farren's last phone call to family. Says he is staying at the National Hotel in San Fransisco "with some other men" and liking it there. Reports losing his job. Calls his Mother, asks her to send money, she refuses. Calls his grandmother, tells her "I love you." Is never seen or heard from again.

Several weeks later (do we have an exact date on this?) The family calls the hotel to find out Farren owed hotel fees, and left without paying, leaving all of his belongings behind. (I wonder who called the National Hotel to inquire about Farren? Best guess is that it was Farren's grandmother again.)

June 16, 1980-Farren is reported missing to the John Day Oregon Police Department by his grandmother.

Had SFPD gotten a copy of Farren's missing person's reports from JDPD, and an investigation began at this time, I think we would have known so much more.

Satch

Looks good to me. However I would just say one thing:

Regarding Farren's phonecall. Do we know for definite that he said all of this in one phonecall, was this his first and last call home from SF. Or did she already know he was staying at The National with some guys, had he previously told her about getting a job? I would call home if I had good news like that. We know he called his grandma often so I can't imagine he didn't call her when he first arrived in SF plus surely they spoke in the time it took him to get and then lose his job?
I just can't imagine his first call to his grandma was "hi grandma I'm in SF, I love it here. I'm staying at The National with some other guys. I lost my job and mum won't send me any money but I'll figure something out. Love you".
I feel she already knew where and with whom he was staying but the call to her on the 26th April stemmed from his mother refusing to send his money. He probably hoped Grandma could speak to her. Of course then he had to explain why he needed the money, he'd lost his job.
...Having said that, his roommates claimed he left for work, so why didn't he call home to say he'd found a new job when he knew his Grandma was worried about him? Were they wrong? Was his job actually a job interview, was it something he didn't want to tell them about???
All JMO. What are your thoughts? It would mean he'd been in SF before April 26th.

Regarding the call to the hotel - I can only imagine this came the day before or the day she reported him missing (16th June). I just simply cannot imagine that she found out he'd disappeared from the hotel and waited anymore then 24 hrs. I believe his Grandma made the call as she reported him missing.

 

[Satch]

Looks good to me. However I would just say one thing:

Regarding Farren's phonecall. Do we know for definite that he said all of this in one phonecall, was this his first and last call home from SF. Or did she already know he was staying at The National with some guys, had he previously told her about getting a job? I would call home if I had good news like that. We know he called his grandma often so I can't imagine he didn't call her when he first arrived in SF plus surely they spoke in the time it took him to get and then lose his job?
I just can't imagine his first call to his grandma was "hi grandma I'm in SF, I love it here. I'm staying at The National with some other guys. I lost my job and mum won't send me any money but I'll figure something out. Love you".
I feel she already knew where and with whom he was staying but the call to her on the 26th April stemmed from his mother refusing to send his money. He probably hoped Grandma could speak to her. Of course then he had to explain why he needed the money, he'd lost his job.
...Having said that, his roommates claimed he left for work, so why didn't he call home to say he'd found a new job when he knew his Grandma was worried about him? Were they wrong? Was his job actually a job interview, was it something he didn't want to tell them about???
All JMO. What are your thoughts? It would mean he'd been in SF before April 26th.

Regarding the call to the hotel - I can only imagine this came the day before or the day she reported him missing (16th June). I just simply cannot imagine that she found out he'd disappeared from the hotel and waited anymore then 24 hrs. I believe his Grandma made the call as she reported him missing.

Agree that the above makes perfect sense!

The call Farren made to his grandmother was probably to say that his Mother would not send him money, and Farren was hoping that his aunt or grandmother could talk to her. The chronology of events given on Social Media and missing person's reports was to familiarize people with Farren's case. I don't think he said all of this in one phone call. Especially if it is true as we believe that Farren was already in San Francisco for some time. It would certainly take time to build up a liking to a new place, and to form friendships and relationships. This isn't going to happen just "passing through" for most people. We hear stories of people that meet on first dates and are thinking marriage on the second. But this is so very, very, rare. I always feel that it takes a good six months to really get to know someone as a serious friend or relationship on an empathetic level.

I feel so sorry for him!

Satch

 

[Satch]

...Having said that, his roommates claimed he left for work, so why didn't he call home to say he'd found a new job when he knew his Grandma was worried about him? Were they wrong? Was his job actually a job interview, was it something he didn't want to tell them about???

My thoughts here,

Only if the new job lead to tragedy could I see this as a reason for not calling home. Well maybe yes, if it was something that Farren did not want the family to know about for personal or ethical issues. This goes back to all the uncertainty, "Visiting a gay man?" Whomever RC spoke with at the hotel was not telling the whole story.

At no time do I think Farren chose to be untruthful. He does not strike me as that type of guy at all. He was likely faced with some tough choices surrounding his environment, and was trying for was to make things work, so as not to worry his family.

Satch

 

[Satch]

Another thing I want to add,

Many people who are raised by their families in small towns here in America are often very very close to their families. They are very caring, and empathetic towards feelings and mannerisms, and kindness. Farren was a church-goer, loved adventure, and exploring, seemingly very witty, funny, and caring toward people. Maybe he wanted to see the world because he wanted to help people and make a difference in their lives. I think that Farren believed that by staying in Oregon, there wasn't much of a world to see. He still loved his family as much as ever, but did not want to lose the frienships and relationships that he had made in San Francisco. This is why he chose not to come home to Oregon after being in San Francisco.

With the above in mind, there is no way that I can see him abandoning his family voluntarily. He was much too close to them to do that.

His Uncle Richard described him as naive, and I think that caused his disappearance. I don't think he saw the foreboding problems of San Francisco's darker underground world, and if he did, it was too late for him to rescue himself from a dangerous and probably life-threatening situation, that took a turn for the worse by either an intimidation or threat by a perpetrator that probably lead to death. Or perhaps an accident that lead to death.

Satch

 

[summergirl1]

After reading those newspaper clippings, I do think it is a remote possibility that Farren died accidentally due to drugs ( not that there's any evidence about him and that) or something sexual, or even drinking and then his death got covered up by people scared to report his death and involve authorities. But it's more likely that he was murdered.

 

[BelMarduk]

After reading those newspaper clippings, I do think it is a remote possibility that Farren died accidentally due to drugs ( not that there's any evidence about him and that) or something sexual, or even drinking and then his death got covered up by people scared to report his death and involve authorities. But it's more likely that he was murdered.

I think that if he had died from a drug overdose, somebody would have found the body or reported it. Maybe he was with unscrupulous people who didn't want to bring attention to their own drug use/dealing but I think the body would have turned up eventually.

 

[Ciriii57]

But it's more likely that he was murdered.

I think the body would have turned up eventually.

Thats the crux of this whole thing...no body!
If he'd died in an accident, in a hospital, drug overdose etc then either LE would have contacted his family at the time or he would be recorded as a UID.
Also, if he had met harm in a violent crime such as a robbery, rape, homophobic attack then it is very unlikely that the perpetrators would hide his body so well.
I would think the type of person to hide a body would be either someone who murdered him by accident for some reason, someone who soecifically targetted him for murder or perhaps a serial killer.
Farren's family believe he is "buried somewhere in Californoia" and I am inclined to agree.

(I know suicide from the bridge could potentially explain a lack of body-but I don't buy that he killed himself JMO)

 

[Ciriii57]

Today I have been contacting Bay Area Publications (newspapers, online, free press and newsletters) in the hope that they will either run a story to raise awareness of Farren (and maybe other missing people) and hopefully someone who will see it may have known him. Or I have asked if they are not interested in persuing this then would they please at least place the missing persons poster somewhere or show it around! Maybe cheeky but hey...nothing to lose!
So far contacted: Bay Area Reporter, SFGate, Lavender Seniors, Openhouse, San Francsico Bay Times, San Francisco Chronicle, East Bay Times and Almanac. I have MANY more to go. But I am especially hopeful that the newspapers that had previously had an ad placed by RC might want to follow it up all these years later...I think it's a story that could pull on people's heartstrings.

<modsnip: not an approved source>

ETA-Forgot to add. There is a "Tenderloin Museum" right near where Farren was staying..I emailed them for info too!

 

[chaddylex]

I have been following Farren's case probably since someone started his thread here in 2009. I looked to see the first time I commented on this thread and it was back in 2013. Farren's case has always interested me, not sure because I have a gay family member and the worry is always in the back of mind,or what exactly has drawn me to his case.

I just to thank all of you for brainstorming and trying to figure out what happened to Farren. I wish a living family member would see this thread or even an old friend, someone that cared for Farren to see that these "strangers" aren't giving up on finding him.

 

[Satch]

Guys! This is AWESOME!

Here is a list of Top 10 Senior Bars in San Francisco from Yelp! @Ciriii57 in the body of the email, you could ask them to put up Farren's poster in their business! The people would all have been Farren's age at the time he was last in SF, if they lived there as well!

TOP 10 BEST Old Man Gay Bar in San Francisco, CA - Updated 2024 - Yelp

Top 10 Best Old Man Gay Bar in San Francisco, CA - August 2024 - Yelp - Twin Peaks Tavern, 440 Castro, Powerhouse, Beaux, Last Call Bar, Hole In the Wall Saloon, Moby Dick, SF Eagle, Aunt Charlie's Lounge, The Cinch

www.yelp.com

Satch