I have a friend who adopted two boys when they were young toddlers. She was told that they may never speak, walk, go to school etc. She resigned herself to this life, but she also threw her boys into all the therapies that may or may not make a difference. They flourished.
However, the oldest does have a marked intellectual ability, and to us - her good friends, she would question his abilities out in the real world, even as far as saying "he can't do it" on their bad days. But she never denies him the opportunity to try. He is currently living in his own apartment. Will it last? Its only been a month, maybe not. She won't be the one that stops him. He's had a relationship, and when he has a job, he has a great work ethic - he's been waiting to get into a developmentally appropriate program for work that has a wait list.
Her younger one will have little abnormal problems out in the world. Obviously, they are both able to talk, walk, and be educated.
It worries me that these parents had zero sum view of the childrens capabilities. No give, no opportunity, just ownership.
