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He is a depraved killer. There is something seriously out of whack.
I hope they examine everything about him.
Personally, I don't think every case is exactly the same. I don't see AG like I see Adam Lanza. We forget that parents see their children through rose colored glasses....AKA the Love Filter. Honestly, if AG had not committed this crime, I wouldn't think suspicious about him at all. His SM looks like many a kid out there. Milder, even. I remember being absolutely shocked at Sierra Lamar's SM, and she was the innocent victim. AG, without the crime, seems like a pretty decent kid. Artistic, musically talented, camp counselor, crushing on a girl at school, healthy teenage boy. Like many have said here....all those photo captions are song quotes and kids do that a lot. I doubt his mother even looked at his IG, but if she did, she would see it completely different than the way we see it post murder. Spooky piano piece on murder day? She'd probably say..."I'm glad those piano lessons paid off." Ice cream video? She might think, "Awww...my little guy sure does love when I buy those." Some have mentioned that the yoyo-ing was weird. She may think, "I'm glad Uncle Dave spent the time teaching AJ to yoyo." (Just a hypothesis.....there's no Dave.)I am curious and would really appreciate input here. What are WS members thoughts regarding parental blame for this? I know we have talked about nature vs nurture, but I would like raw opinions void any politically correct opinions. If a child is actively engaged with their parents, is the child able to deceive them, or are the parents refusing to acknowledge the problem?
As I have stated before, I have personal experience of a monster in my family. I know I may be jaded but my opinion is the parents of this particular monster ignored every warning that MIGHT have stopped their son and never chose to get any help because of embarrassment. I hope you guys can indulge me here because every time a case like this comes up, I find myself wondering whether I am too judgmental of the family or not enough.
I hear you and I know it's a temptation to always blame the parents, but I think it is often much more complex than that. Unless there is clear evidence (like buying guns for your disturbed son as in Sandy Hook or turning a deaf ear to a teacher's concerns, for example), I don't feel comfortable blaming parents. And even when there are obvious mental health issues with a kid, it can be extremely difficult to get proper help.
I do believe that it is possible for kids to deceive their parents, even when there is good communication, and active involvement. In my experience as a teen and as the mother of one (30 years ago) teens do successfully shut their caring parents out of certain parts of their lives. It doesn't have to be anything serious, but, of course, it can be. Most good parents give their teens some privacy. And teens can be very good at stonewalling when parents try to communicate.
Sometimes, the red flags are so obvious that it seems as if a parent has either been truly ignorant and clueless or has deliberately let things slide for whatever reason. We have no way of knowing whether Adrian was able to reassure his Mom that he was just posting and saying stuff, and didn't really feel the way his Instagram portrayed him or the way he talked to his friend about suicide. She appears to be a very hard-working, busy and social extrovert. Put that together with cultural and language differences, and I can see that she may not have been able to fully discern problems. She may have just chalked up subtle signs to teen angst and an awkward personality. The whole community seems to have thought highly of her son.
For now, I really feel horrible for her, and it seems that Maddy's Mom does too. JMO
Her mother's wonderfully compassionate and full of grace attitude just makes me think of what a wonderful young lady and woman Madyson would likely become. It's just too sad.
I know many a really great patent whose kid just went haywire. Influences that affect behavior can come from many outside avenues, as well, no matter how much a parent loves, instructs, disciplines, and advises.I cannot tell you how many times I heard that a kid is horrible from the parents.
The parents never thought to look at their own selves. What were they doing? Drinking, doing drugs, having boyfriends or girlfriends over and over again, for instance.
When a child is in trouble, the whole family should go in for counseling. Mandatory.
I cannot tell you how many times I heard that a kid is horrible from the parents.
The parents never thought to look at their own selves. What were they doing? Drinking, doing drugs, having boyfriends or girlfriends over and over again, for instance.
When a child is in trouble, the whole family should go in for counseling. Mandatory.
I appreciate your reply! I can see how it might be difficult to discern between tween angst and a child that is capable of harming another, weaker person. Because of the history of the family I come from, I was hyper vigilant of my children; which I thank God turned out very well. (All of my children were born before "the monster in my family" acted, but because of history, I was attentive). So, I guess if there are no other warning signs outside of socially awkward boy, I can definitely see how it can be overlooked. With that said, I do hope the mother and anyone else who knows AG is open and honest about any previous behavior ie: harming animals, stalking etc.
BBM
I do think we often (and rightly) look through the lens our family history. My Dad was an alcoholic, so I watched myself for those tendencies and cautioned our daughter about her possible heredity (on her paternal grandfather's side too). None of us inherited it, thank goodness. But I understand being hyper vigilant.
It's certainly possible that his Mom and others who knew and observed him will remember and report odd actions in retrospect that meant little at the time. I sometimes have a "funny feeling" about someone (even children) and I can't quite put my finger on the reason. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, so I store the feeling away in the back of my mind and don't go looking for evidence to prove it. Usually I forget all about it. But almost invariably, even years later, the person will do something quite wrong (and rather surprising) that confirms that my gut feeling was right. I'm usually surprised until I start looking at the "evidence" I ignored over the years in my effort to be kind. I think that will happen in this case. JMO
I am curious and would really appreciate input here. What are WS members thoughts regarding parental blame for this? I know we have talked about nature vs nurture, but I would like raw opinions void any politically correct opinions. If a child is actively engaged with their parents, is the child able to deceive them, or are the parents refusing to acknowledge the problem?
As I have stated before, I have personal experience of a monster in my family. I know I may be jaded but my opinion is the parents of this particular monster ignored every warning that MIGHT have stopped their son and never chose to get any help because of embarrassment. I hope you guys can indulge me here because every time a case like this comes up, I find myself wondering whether I am too judgmental of the family or not enough.
Mothers of Santa Cruz defendant, victim share their pain
http://www.sfgate.com/crime/article/Mothers-of-Santa-Cruz-suspect-victim-share-their-6420581.php
Jordan heard crying near the memorial for her daughter at the Tannery Art Center courtyard. There, in front of dozens of bouquets, loving cards, stuffed animals and candles, she saw Reggie Factor, Gonzalezs mother, on her knees, inconsolable. Factor wailed, cried to God and screamed that her son was a bad boy, a terrible boy, Jordan said. Why hadnt anyone told her? How could she not have known?