CA CA - Sydney “Syd” West, 19, Univ of CA student, San Francisco, 30 Sep 2020 #2

[Vacajoe]

A massive amount of water flows out through the Golden Gate from the multiple rivers that feed into the Bay Area and any search more than a few minutes after a jump is fruitless. Even when the tide is coming in, there are still currents of water flowing outward towards the ocean. The total level of water in the Bay rises during high tide, but there are still currents pushing water outward into the ocean at all hours.

 

[flowingbrooks]

I know a bit about her past home life from talking with her friends, but I’m not allowed to post any of that here.

Wish you could!

 

[ElizabethAnne]

Wow...just wow. That and the dog story.

So maybe Syd did voluntarily disappear. This would not be the only case of an adult child deciding to go no contact and their own terms.

I wish that she did voluntarily disappear. I believe from her Medium posts and reddit posts as well as the UNC Mindfulness video that she was expected to be an academic star, but I believe she knew her success was being sabotaged. I read in her reddit posts, for instance, that she was upset that she failed the high stakes AP (Advanced Placement) Calculus exam, not once, but twice. She had a very high stress load of AP classes. On reddit she said she took a total of 8 AP classes.

AP exams are given in Week 1 and Week 2 on specific dates that are announced by the College Board about a year in advance. These exams are very difficult and high stress. The scores you get on these exams, particularly those taken a junior year, can really determine if you get into the colleges that you want to get into or not.

In the back of my mind, I was wondering how Sydney could have failed the 3 AP tests she talks about failing in reddit, including the Calculus exam twice.

Then just a couple of days ago, the parents posted a vacation shot from three years ago on Find Sydney West of Sydney her junior year and apparently the weekend between Week 1 and Week 2, they took a family trip/vacation even though the intense, high stress AP Calculus exam was scheduled by the College Board to be taken early in the week on Tuesday morning during Week 2. Who knows what other exams she had to take in just a few days during Week 2? There is a caption from the mother that she is taking a break from AP studying.

I feel so sorry for her that it sounds like she was not allowed to have her time to herself to devote to studying for these AP exams. Instead it sounds like her family made her go on a trip the weekend between Week 1 and Week 2 of the exams.

Now when I think about that UNC Mindfulness video, it takes on an entirely different meaning. Obviously, taken in context with what I now know, I'm really sad. It sounds like a lot of the time she could have devoted to her studies, being that she was such a driven person, were probably taken away from her. Now it makes sense to me when she was quoted in the Carrboro High newspaper in her volleyball article that she didn't have time for practically anything including hobbies, etc.

Why could the parents not have scheduled the family trip the weekend after Week 2 when all the AP exams were completed? Why disrupt their daughter's studying by taking a trip the weekend between Week 1 and Week 2? Couldn't they have waited 7 short days to take this trip in order to maximize the chance for Sydney to succeed and do well on all her AP exams? Why increase the anxiety and stress for Sydney by having some trip scheduled right in the middle of her trying to take her AP exams? No wonder she had anxiety and depression. Faced with these type of no-win situations, I certainly would have struggled.

So if she did manage to voluntarily disappear, hopefully her time would now be her own. And she could choose to use her time to pursue whatever she wanted on her own terms.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

IMO it sounds like she didn't feel she could completely rest, but she really needed to. Maybe she literally hit a breaking point.

Just because someone is capable of a high-achieving life doesn't mean they should live that life, not if they are breaking inside.

 

[NSamuelle]

I wish that she did voluntarily disappear. I believe from her Medium posts and reddit posts as well as the UNC Mindfulness video that she was expected to be an academic star, but I believe she knew her success was being sabotaged. I read in her reddit posts, for instance, that she was upset that she failed the high stakes AP (Advanced Placement) Calculus exam, not once, but twice. She had a very high stress load of AP classes. On reddit she said she took a total of 8 AP classes.

AP exams are given in Week 1 and Week 2 on specific dates that are announced by the College Board about a year in advance. These exams are very difficult and high stress. The scores you get on these exams, particularly those taken a junior year, can really determine if you get into the colleges that you want to get into or not.

In the back of my mind, I was wondering how Sydney could have failed the 3 AP tests she talks about failing in reddit, including the Calculus exam twice.

Then just a couple of days ago, the parents posted a vacation shot from three years ago on Find Sydney West of Sydney her junior year and apparently the weekend between Week 1 and Week 2, they took a family trip/vacation even though the intense, high stress AP Calculus exam was scheduled by the College Board to be taken early in the week on Tuesday morning during Week 2. Who knows what other exams she had to take in just a few days during Week 2? There is a caption from the mother that she is taking a break from AP studying.

I feel so sorry for her that it sounds like she was not allowed to have her time to herself to devote to studying for these AP exams. Instead it sounds like her family made her go on a trip the weekend between Week 1 and Week 2 of the exams.

Now when I think about that UNC Mindfulness video, it takes on an entirely different meaning. Obviously, taken in context with what I now know, I'm really sad. It sounds like a lot of the time she could have devoted to her studies, being that she was such a driven person, were probably taken away from her. Now it makes sense to me when she was quoted in the Carrboro High newspaper in her volleyball article that she didn't have time for practically anything including hobbies, etc.

Why could the parents not have scheduled the family trip the weekend after Week 2 when all the AP exams were completed? Why disrupt their daughter's studying by taking a trip the weekend between Week 1 and Week 2? Couldn't they have waited 7 short days to take this trip in order to maximize the chance for Sydney to succeed and do well on all her AP exams? Why increase the anxiety and stress for Sydney by having some trip scheduled right in the middle of her trying to take her AP exams? No wonder she had anxiety and depression. Faced with these type of no-win situations, I certainly would have struggled.

So if she did manage to voluntarily disappear, hopefully her time would now be her own. And she could choose to use her time to pursue whatever she wanted on her own terms.

That post bothered me because her mother said that Sydney was “taking a break” while her little sister was learning all day. It seemed like she was almost passive-aggressively shaming Sydney for not studying like her little sister - or I may be reading into it based on the other context we know of. When I was studying for huge tests, I wouldn’t want my mom to publicize my study breaks to the world - it would just make me feel rushed and guilty.

 

[Limecat]

IMO it sounds like she didn't feel she could completely rest, but she really needed to. Maybe she literally hit a breaking point.

Just because someone is capable of a high-achieving life doesn't mean they should live that life, not if they are breaking inside.

Thank you so much for saying that. It sums up my life in a nutshell. And hearing it put that way makes me feel like less of a failure at life.

 

[JudgeJoe]

Thank you so much for saying that. It sums up my life in a nutshell. And hearing it put that way makes me feel like less of a failure at life.

I’m going off memory, so this is imo…
In 2010, students admitted to an Ivy school needed 3 AP courses on their HS transcripts. By 2017 it was 11 AP classes. ELEVEN. When my daughter was in tears nightly over one of her AP courses I told her to drop it- not worth her mental health. Her school fought me on dropping it- admission, scholarship, blah blah blah. I had to take a day off work to meet with admin & the teacher to get her out. It was ridiculous. She felt ashamed & defeated that she just couldn’t handle 1 more. Plus her friends were still in the class. So add to that embarrassment & isolation. She got over it, graduated successfully & got into her dream school. Sometimes you just gotta have a heart-to-heart with yourself, hold your head high, trust that success is best measured in happiness & head bravely in a new direction. All moo…

 

[ElizabethAnne]

That post bothered me because her mother said that Sydney was “taking a break” while her little sister was learning all day. It seemed like she was almost passive-aggressively shaming Sydney for not studying like her little sister - or I may be reading into it based on the other context we know of. When I was studying for huge tests, I wouldn’t want my mom to publicize my study breaks to the world - it would just make me feel rushed and guilty.

The post bothered me so much because of many reasons, but:

1) Broadcasting on the internet the daughter is taking AP classes and studying for the AP tests --- why is that necessary? Can't they just say they enjoyed having an outing to eat cream in the caption instead? Why are so many of these captions and videos accomplishment and achievement based?

2) Imagine growing up such that practically anything including outings turns into a photo op that invades the privacy for children, makes some comments about some certificate, achievement, accomplishment or failure so that their day to day existence becomes a catalog of events broadcast over the internet. I know for myself this would cause anxiety and distress. Thank goodness Facebook was not around when I was growing up. From this article--- Why I'm not a sharent - ABC Copywriting
"The real reason for sharenting is narcissism. It’s not a record of the child’s life, but the parent’s, channeled vicariously through the proxy of the child. And its primary motivation isn’t love for the child – despite the many gushing protestations – but the parent’s love for themselves."

3) Last I heard, sea turtles is not a capitalized word, but turning it into "Sea Turtles" and referencing the girl scouts means this trip was made for someone who is referred to as a youngster to get some sort of accomplishment-based badge. So Sydney's critical weekend where to do well on her AP exams meant most if not all students do the "Eat, Sleep, Study, Repeat" gig to get ready for the AP exams was hijacked for the parents to drag Sydney out of town for the little sister to pursue some sort of Sea Turtles merit badge? No wonder Sydney is exhausted. No wonder Sydney said in the Gap Year essay "Tired of trying to hold up the entire ecosystem that is me, on an infrastructure far too thin and weak."

 

[Lusitana]

It really does look like Sydney just wanted to be left alone. I don’t want to blame anyone because parenting is ALWAYS hard, but I honestly think she should’ve been supported and reassured through her gap year and the process of deciding where to go for school or if she should go to school at all.

I got admitted to college, away from home when I was 17. I hated it, lasted 2 weeks. Called my parents crying and saying I wanted to go back home. My dad drove all the way to pick me up the very next day. Took me out for lunch on the way home. No questions asked, he just said “don’t worry, it’s not worth it if you don’t feel okay there”.

I applied again the next year, I was 45 minutes away from home. The first 2 weeks or so were really hard and I did want to commute but my mom made me stay at the dorms. Turns out I ended up loving it, I went home every weekend. My mom knew I wasn’t going to be happy on the first college, so she didn’t even try to convince me to stay, but she knew I would be okay on the second college and I just needed to get adjusted.

I just wish Sydney (and every kid) had that. Why did she have to work for her father during her gap year? Why couldn’t she try other jobs like all the other kids? A restaurant, a grocery store, at a Summer camp, etc. The way I see it, they let her travel to a few places and then held it against her like “we let you do what you wanted and now you have to do this”. A gap year is supposed to help you find who you want to be, what you want to do and the things you like and feel passionate about.

After I dropped out and took the rest of the year off, I ended up changing my plan and didn’t go for the major I went for initially. I don’t think Sydney ever actually had a chance to make her own choices and messing up was just not an option.

From the looks of it, the Ivy Leagues and the big schools were just not a good fit for her. She would probably do great at a community college for two years and then transferring to another school if she really wanted to.

I really hope she didn’t jump and that she’s out there, happy, healthy and free. Doing what SHE wants, being who she really is without carrying any shame. If she did jump, it’s truly a tragedy and it could’ve been avoided. And this is why I wouldn’t say a thing if I saw her, because she has the right to remove herself from a situation she doesn’t want to be in, and to remove people that don’t contribute positively to her life, even if it’s her parents. It’s about time she starts caring about HER feelings, because it does look like all she was doing was caring about other people’s feelings and expectations for her. So, if she really is out there, good for her.

 

[JudgeJoe]

It really does look like Sydney just wanted to be left alone. I don’t want to blame anyone because parenting is ALWAYS hard, but I honestly think she should’ve been supported and reassured through her gap year and the process of deciding where to go for school or if she should go to school at all.

I got admitted to college, away from home when I was 17. I hated it, lasted 2 weeks. Called my parents crying and saying I wanted to go back home. My dad drove all the way to pick me up the very next day. Took me out for lunch on the way home. No questions asked, he just said “don’t worry, it’s not worth it if you don’t feel okay there”.

I applied again the next year, I was 45 minutes away from home. The first 2 weeks or so were really hard and I did want to commute but my mom made me stay at the dorms. Turns out I ended up loving it, I went home every weekend. My mom knew I wasn’t going to be happy on the first college, so she didn’t even try to convince me to stay, but she knew I would be okay on the second college and I just needed to get adjusted.

I just wish Sydney (and every kid) had that. Why did she have to work for her father during her gap year? Why couldn’t she try other jobs like all the other kids? A restaurant, a grocery store, at a Summer camp, etc. The way I see it, they let her travel to a few places and then held it against her like “we let you do what you wanted and now you have to do this”. A gap year is supposed to help you find who you want to be, what you want to do and the things you like and feel passionate about.

After I dropped out and took the rest of the year off, I ended up changing my plan and didn’t go for the major I went for initially. I don’t think Sydney ever actually had a chance to make her own choices and messing up was just not an option.

From the looks of it, the Ivy Leagues and the big schools were just not a good fit for her. She would probably do great at a community college for two years and then transferring to another school if she really wanted to.

I really hope she didn’t jump and that she’s out there, happy, healthy and free. Doing what SHE wants, being who she really is without carrying any shame. If she did jump, it’s truly a tragedy and it could’ve been avoided. And this is why I wouldn’t say a thing if I saw her, because she has the right to remove herself from a situation she doesn’t want to be in, and to remove people that don’t contribute positively to her life, even if it’s her parents. It’s about time she starts caring about HER feelings, because it does look like all she was doing was caring about other people’s feelings and expectations for her. So, if she really is out there, good for her.

Excellent post- ita with every word.

Another thought that keeps haunting me… Syd had funding for a gap year that included international travel plus 15K for college admission consultant (or something like that iirc) but out-of-state tuition was a problem? Just doesn’t make sense. I could see Syd as a music major, performing & maybe teaching music to elementary kids- she was so good with her little sis. Guessing she felt this was not an option.

 

[NSamuelle]

Excellent post- ita with every word.

Another thought that keeps haunting me… Syd had funding for a gap year that included international travel plus 15K for college admission consultant (or something like that iirc) but out-of-state tuition was a problem? Just doesn’t make sense. I could see Syd as a music major, performing & maybe teaching music to elementary kids- she was so good with her little sis. Guessing she felt this was not an option.

When she got into Berkeley, an amazing school, she said her dad ignored her and she wanted to cry, and that he was angry at her for fuc**** up the internship at his company and angry at her for not wanting to go to school at Chapel Hill. I think he refused OOS tuition as a form of punishment. Source: her own Reddit account. On Twitter, she noted that he had once smashed her phone with a hammer, so it sounds like his anger could be intense. There were other incidents, but they were reported by friends and not on Sydney’s own accounts so I can’t reference them here.

Sydney said on Reddit that she just wanted to go to a community college and transfer. People repeated that in comments on the Until They are Found video, and her mom disputed it, saying she and Jay wanted Sydney to go to community college and Sydney was the one pushing for ivies. Then, people posted the actual quote from Sydney’s Reddit, saying the opposite, and her mom never addressed it.

 

[JudgeJoe]

When she got into Berkeley, an amazing school, she said her dad ignored her and she wanted to cry, and that he was angry at her for fuc**** up the internship at his company and angry at her for not wanting to go to school at Chapel Hill. I think he refused OOS tuition as a form of punishment. Source: her own Reddit account. On Twitter, she noted that he had once smashed her phone with a hammer, so it sounds like his anger could be intense. There were other incidents, but they were reported by friends and not on Sydney’s own accounts so I can’t reference them here.

BBM- ita about the punishment factor. And I’d add control. Punishment & control. Sooner or later, neither works. There is no gaining control of this situation- ever.

 

[BuckeyeGal]

I really relate to Sydney...her story (based on her SM and reddit) is so similiar to how I felt as a teenager: needing to be perfect, at top of class, getting into a top college, or you are a failure. In addition to being so anxious about not disappointing your parents or feeling like you are only worthy of your parents' love if you are perfect.

I may be overidentifying with her, but I know where my situation almost led me, and it is hard for me to imagine that she did not take her own life.

I often wish someone could have told me back then that you can still have a successful and happy life even if you aren't in the top 10 of your class or attending the most prestigious college.

I really wish that someone could have told Sydney that as well.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

Excellent post- ita with every word.

Another thought that keeps haunting me… Syd had funding for a gap year that included international travel plus 15K for college admission consultant (or something like that iirc) but out-of-state tuition was a problem? Just doesn’t make sense. I could see Syd as a music major, performing & maybe teaching music to elementary kids- she was so good with her little sis. Guessing she felt this was not an option.

In the reddit comments, Sydney said her major if she got into the school she wanted most to get into was Product Design at Stanford which is a degree given by the Mechanical Engineering department Home and Curriculum
She said she applied to the 3 Ivy League schools as a Bio major, but I am wondering whether she did that as a placeholder because not once did I read anything talking about any enthusiasm regarding that major. Not sure about the UCs.

On reddit regarding UC Berkeley she said: "cal- I grew up in Bay Area, more familiar. never really saw myself at Berkeley tho. NO AID BRUH"

Not sure why, but for some reason she turned down admission in the honors programs at UC Santa Cruz and UNC Wilmington to go to UC Berkeley. Only UC Berkeley and UMass Amherst offered her spots on the rowing team, so given her parents both were on the rowing team in college, I believe she decided to go to UC Berkeley only on the basis of the walk-on spot on the rowing team, but I don't know why she turned down a scholarship that UMass offered for $16K a year. I would guess that based on pressure to be at a prestigious university on the rowing team, this is why she made the choice to decide on Berkeley in the first place. Given her high school did not even have a rowing team either in North Carolina and California, I would guess she made this ultimate college choice based on the rowing team walk-on offer even though she was completely inexperienced in this sport.

If you watch the video on the parents view of Sydney's goals on Find Sydney West on the video on Sydney's goals called "Sydney: Goals and Dreams" they tell quite a different story. They say Sydney wanted to be a physician (never mentions that in reddit that I can find, btw), a model (never mentions that in reddit that I can find, btw) or a professional volleyball player (mentions recruited as a college player by coach at Grinnell College in Iowa, but was not ultimately offered admission).

There is no mention of rowing on the video, but Sydney is holding a "I am Berkeley Bound" sign in the video. In reddit, Sydney repeatedly emphasized wanting to get into an NCAA D1 (Division 1) school. The mother at one point captioned a post on Find Sydney West that she was looking forward to traveling to Berkeley one day to see Sydney competing in regattas ("Once you chose Cal I knew that time came- despite Covid, eventually there’d be parent weekends, rowing regattas, and other fun events in Berkeley"). Other comments on Find Sydney West from others in Chapel Hill indicate she spent much of the summer practicing on a rowing machine prior to going to Berkeley in August. Based on the fact that Sydney declined all the schools that did not offer her a walk-on rowing spot, I believe it is likely the rowing offer was probably the key reason + the UC Berkeley prestige factor that she made this choice.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

BBM- ita about the punishment factor. And I’d add control. Punishment & control. Sooner or later, neither works. There is no gaining control of this situation- ever.

I don't think Sydney was very excited about going to UC Berkeley in the first place. She said on reddit that she never really saw herself there as a student. The exact quote was: "cal- I grew up in Bay Area, more familiar. never really saw myself at Berkeley tho. NO AID BRUH"
It is a high intensity environment where for some majors and some colleges (e.g., Haas), you have to fight your way into a major or college by surviving a series of draining "weed-out" courses that really is no fun at all. UC Berkeley is not in a great area as well.

I'm not sure what her intended major there was at UC Berkeley (if someone knows, can you post it? I might have overlooked it).

If Sydney was into marine biology/science, UNC Wilmington with the warm beaches and ocean temperatures in the 80's + the honors college might have been a better choice closer to home. Or UCSD with its Scripps Institution of Oceanography might have been better. La Jolla is a much better area than Berkeley. Neither offered her a position on any athletic team so I think she ruled them out unfortunately or for some reason, the option to go there was ruled out for her. I don't think we will ever know why her top 2 choices of Cal or UMass ended up both having something to do with rowing and whether it was due to her own choice to take up a sport she had no experience with or whether it was based on trying to meet parental expectations or had some deal with the parents.

However, from the TikTok video posted mid July 2020, she sang Row Row Row Your Boat and the lines of lyrics of Merrily Merrily Merrily, Life is But a Dream and replaced those words with I'm Dying Deep Down, I'm Not as Happy as I Seem.

 

[Curious_in_NC]

I don't think Sydney was very excited about going to UC Berkeley in the first place. She said on reddit that she never really saw herself there as a student. The exact quote was: "cal- I grew up in Bay Area, more familiar. never really saw myself at Berkeley tho. NO AID BRUH"
It is a high intensity environment where for some majors and some colleges (e.g., Haas), you have to fight your way into a major or college by surviving a series of draining "weed-out" courses that really is no fun at all. UC Berkeley is not in a great area as well.

I'm not sure what her intended major there was at UC Berkeley (if someone knows, can you post it? I might have overlooked it).

If Sydney was into marine biology/science, UNC Wilmington with the warm beaches and ocean temperatures in the 80's + the honors college might have been a better choice closer to home. Or UCSD with its Scripps Institution of Oceanography might have been better. La Jolla is a much better area than Berkeley. Neither offered her a position on any athletic team so I think she ruled them out unfortunately or for some reason, the option to go there was ruled out for her. I don't think we will ever know why her top 2 choices of Cal or UMass ended up both having something to do with rowing and whether it was due to her own choice to take up a sport she had no experience with or whether it was based on trying to meet parental expectations or had some deal with the parents.

However, from the TikTok video posted mid July 2020, she sang Row Row Row Your Boat and the lines of lyrics of Merrily Merrily Merrily, Life is But a Dream and replaced those words with I'm Dying Deep Down, I'm Not as Happy as I Seem.

Not sure if this was a factor, but UNCW has a recent history of threatening to cut their non revenue sports like swimming, diving, and cross country. So maybe it didn't seem like a very sound choice for athletics. They currently have a women's volleyball program but none in rowing.

Also, was it UCSD or UCSC where she also turned down the honors program offer?

 

[ElizabethAnne]

Not sure if this was a factor, but UNCW has a recent history of threatening to cut their non revenue sports like swimming, diving, and cross country. So maybe it didn't seem like a very sound choice for athletics. They currently have a women's volleyball program but none in rowing.

Also, was it UCSD or UCSC where she also turned down the honors program offer?

Sydney in reddit said multiple times she did not like North Carolina, but it wasn't clear if her comments were directed to UNC or the actual state. For example, in one place though she said "I do not like North Carolina lmao" in reddit, it isn't clear whether she meant UNC-Chapel Hill, the UNC set of all colleges, the state or all facets that come with living in North Carolina (in other words she did not like anything about North Carolina or living in North Carolina whatsoever). Other times she delved into other reasons for not liking North Carolina. She said she felt lonely and socially isolated in the Oct. 2019 Gap Year Blues essay, and in reddit, said she cried and tried over and over to quit the internship she was doing.

The Honors Programs listed were UNC-Wilmington and UC Santa Cruz, but according to reddit, Sydney was a big fan of UC San Diego. This is located in La Jolla. She liked the way they have the seven college system where each college is not separated by discipline but each has a completely different philosophy and GE requirements. More info is here about how UCSD Colleges breaks the university into smaller units. It may be one of the only universities or one of a handful of universities in the U.S. that does this. Through the college system, it sounds like she felt it could make the college experience more personal and fulfilling and referred to it as "super cool."

Not sure at all if she had any intrinsic interest in crew/rowing at all or whether that was a choice that was made for her by others. She seemed excited by the prospect of UCSD and did not mention crew/rowing at all. She referred to San Diego as a city with amazing opportunities, as well as said positive things about the social scene.

She said in part to someone asking about being a biology major at NYU vs UCSD: "SD is a hub of biotech, and there are AMAZING opportunities there, much more than NY. boston, sf bay, and sd are top hubs for biotech. As for the seven college system, it breaks down the big school in ways that seem super cool and personal. As for the social scene, it’s what you make of it. Also, pretty sure there is Greek life."

 

[ElizabethAnne]

I really relate to Sydney...her story (based on her SM and reddit) is so similiar to how I felt as a teenager: needing to be perfect, at top of class, getting into a top college, or you are a failure. In addition to being so anxious about not disappointing your parents or feeling like you are only worthy of your parents' love if you are perfect.

I may be overidentifying with her, but I know where my situation almost led me, and it is hard for me to imagine that she did not take her own life.

I often wish someone could have told me back then that you can still have a successful and happy life even if you aren't in the top 10 of your class or attending the most prestigious college.

I really wish that someone could have told Sydney that as well.

I relate to it as well.

Also, in today's environment at least in California, getting in is just the first hurdle for what they call "impacted majors." For example, at UC Santa Cruz, if you want to be a Computer Science major you must be admitted as a Proposed Computer Science major then you must satisfy a number of prerequisite classes until you are formally allowed in as a Computer Science declared major. If you were *not* admitted as a a Proposed Computer Science major in the first place, you are never allowed to transfer into that major. So if you go to UC Santa Cruz, the ability to ever be in their Computer Science program is limited to those that apply and are admitted as Proposed. If you wish to switch majors to Computer Science if you were admitted as another major or undeclared, you are out of luck. It isn't allowed. Even if you get top grades in some Computer Science courses, the highest in the class, you can't become a Computer Science major by switching majors. It says: "Admission to this major is selective. The Computer Science major at UCSC is impacted, and in order to pursue this major students must have been admitted to UCSC as a proposed Computer Science Major. Students not admitted as Computer Science will not be able to pursue this major." Getting started in Computer Science - Frosh

Stress levels are even high for majors like Business Administration. For UC Berkeley, if you want to get a B.S. in Business Administration, you can't be admitted to that major as a freshman. Undergraduate Program | Berkeley Haas Instead you must spend two years in limbo, then during your sophomore year, apply to the Haas business school to see if you get in. If you get in, that is great, but they are a very "highly competitive program" for some unknown reason. If you do get into Haas, the actual business classes don't start until your Junior year. So what do you do if you have spent two full years at Berkeley and don't get into the Haas business school but really want a B.S. in Business Administration? Well, you have to drop out and go somewhere else and start the process all over again. Or you have to settle on a different major---maybe a 2nd, 3rd or 4th choice.

Very stressful.

From the Gap Year essay, it sounds like Sydney really struggled with the isolation and loneliness of living in North Carolina with her parents. And it sounds as like she did not have too much contact with peers that had gone off to college directly following their senior year to understand the hurdles and challenges freshman may face starting out once they arrive on campus.

And in many of these universities, getting your foot in the door is the first step. There is no such thing as a "dream college" where upon arrival you are on your way to pursue your "dream major." This is not really emphasized in the glossy brochures the colleges put out when they are trying to attract applicants. As a prospective student, young people have to forensically dig into college websites to figure out all of the restrictions and policies and the fine print. The higher the prestige of the university, the harder it is to compete to be selected for impacted majors and survive the "weed out" process.

Once in the university, first there are placement tests (which aren't really talked about in the glossy brochures either), then there is the stress to compete to actually get in a major you want that is real admission to the major and not a conditional or proposed major, and survive the "weed out" classes in order to study what you want to study. There are many hurdles along the way. And of course, in large universities like Berkeley, there are wait lists for classes which may mean students have to enroll in summers to get the classes they need to eventually graduate. And many possible failure points along the way that can really tear down the confidence and aspirations of even the most capable students.

 

[Protectwomenandgirls]

Here is a link to the official commercial that is airing nationwide for Sydney.
It provides a few more details on her case.
I am confused by the plea for her to "come home"
IMO it makes it seem like she is choosing to stay out of contact with her family, but maybe I'm just misinterpreting the message

 

[JudgeJoe]

Here is a link to the official commercial that is airing nationwide for Sydney.
It provides a few more details on her case.
I am confused by the plea for her to "come home"
IMO it makes it seem like she is choosing to stay out of contact with her family, but maybe I'm just misinterpreting the message

You’re not confused- the undertones are clear. Imho