Aedrys
If justice doesn't get you, karma will.
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2010
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Casey and Casey alone is responsible for the murder of her daughter, Caylee. From a legal perspective, Casey is solely responsible for the death of Caylee.
George and Cindy, as Casey's parents, are responsible for raising a child to adulthood who lies, steals, and is totally irresponsible.
As parents, it's our duty to instill in our children the qualities that make a good person as an adult.......the concept of right and wrong, honesty, responsibility, integrity, respect, law-abiding, making good decisions, etc. Children need discipline - punishment for wrong-doing and rewards for good behavior. They need structure and guidance from both parents. They need goals. Both parents need to work at raising children as a team.
Although we don't know much about Casey as a young child and teen, we do know that she didn't complete high school, she worked in a Kodak kiosk for about two years. She became pregnant, and at 7 months into her pregnancy, Cindy was denying the pregnancy to family members when it was only too obvious she was pregnant. Two months later, Caylee was born. We know that Casey lied to everyone about having a job, having a nanny, and lied to her parents often about where she was and what she was doing. Some of her lies were very elaborate. At the same time, Casey was stealing from friends and family. We know that Cindy and George made excuses for Casey's lies and thefts.
Casey's behavior did not happen overnight. It's more than likely that there were behavior problems with Casey, even as a young child. There is no indication that George and Cindy ever attempted to curb Casey's behavior as a normal parent would do. To the contrary, we have Cindy stating that it's not a crime to lie, and calling lies "mistruths" as if this is somehow a softer, gentler, term for lying. We know that Cindy never did anything about Casey's thefts. George never took the initiative to do anything.
If Casey is truly a sociopath, then nothing is going to change her. A sociopath is a personality disorder and cannot be "cured." But, I've read that a sociopath's behavior can be modified with discipline and structure.
George and Cindy failed miserably in raising Casey. Just from what we've seen in the past almost two and a half years, I strongly doubt George and Cindy made any attempts to give Casey the discipline and structure she needed to become a responsible adult.
If Casey is truly a sociopath (and I think she is) would it make a difference if she had the discipline and structure as a child and teen? That's something we'll never know. But, it's obvious that because Cindy and George never challenged the adult Casey's lies and didn't make her take responsibility for her thefts, Casey was comfortable with telling more lies and continued stealing.
Had Cindy and George reported her thefts and allowed Casey to go through the experience of being arrested, charged, spending a few months in jail, and having to pay fines and restitution, that might have brought Casey's thefts to a halt. If Cindy was serious about obtaining custody of Caylee, that would have been the grounds for obtaining custody right there.........the child's mother is in jail for theft.
I believe there's one other dynamic at work here too. I don't think Cindy wanted Casey to succeed. If Casey became a responsible adult, had a good job and was earning enough to support herself and Caylee, she would eventually be able to move into an apartment and become independent of her parents. I think Cindy's goal was to keep Casey dependent on her.
So, while Casey is solely responsible for the murder of Caylee, her parents bear responsibility for raising Casey to believe that lying and stealing are acceptable. George and Cindy are responsible for their lack of parenting.
BBM. Excellent post. You definitely said it better than I could. I did want to comment on the bolded passage, though. I don't think it's that Cindy didn't want Casey to succeed, I think she truly believed that Casey couldn't succeed without Cindy's help. My mom was sort of this way with me. There were a lot of things she wanted for me, but I don't know that she actually believed those things were attainable for me. When I moved to Oklahoma, it ripped her heart out. I don't think she thought I would make it all so far away from home with her close by to help out. Thankfully, I've proved her wrong time and again, and I think she's finally happy with the daughter she has, not the daughter she wishes I could be.
I think Cindy was much the same way, except she still hopes Casey can be the daughter she wants Casey to be. She has not given up on that yet. I do think she resigned herself to the fact that Casey was not going to be an upstanding member of society, and that she would always have to help or bail her out. This doesn't mean that she didn't want those same things for Casey. She just believed Casey would never attain them without Cindy's help, tinged with hope that maybe somehow with a miracle Casey would change and finally be the daughter Cindy wanted her to be.
Then Caylee came along, and Cindy believed this was the miracle that would change everything for Casey. Cindy tried desperately to fool herself into believing now that Casey had a child, she would be responsible and raise that child herself. But again, Casey proved Cindy wrong. However, Cindy continued in her denial, wanting to only see Casey the way Cindy wanted to see her, ignoring everything Casey did wrong in the vain hope that Casey would finally be the mother and citizen Cindy wanted her to be. I think the counselor finally helped to break Cindy out of that spell, and Cindy finally realized that Casey wasn't who she wanted and was desperate for Casey to be. Otherwise, Cindy would have to admit her failings as a parent, and she's never been able to do that.
I think the fight was Cindy's last desperate attempt to get Casey on the straight and narrow. Casey had to be the person Cindy wanted and needed her to be. The only problem is, that was the first time Cindy was serious in Casey's entire life. It was far too little, way too late. Casey instead chose get rid of her perceived problem with her mom, which was Caylee.
I do think that Cindy needs to be needed, as does my mom, but I also think she believed Casey was always going to be her problem to deal with too. I think she thought it would be easier to control Casey if Casey lived at home. It'd be a lot harder to clean up Casey's messes if Casey didn't live with her. I do think she had a lot of wants for Casey too. Casey is her twin, her mini Cindy. She just couldn't and still can't let go of that. But at the same time, the twin she wants is a daughter she'll never have. She only had her dreams to keep those hopes alive, and she's clung to those dreams and hopes for too long.
I think she knows who Casey is. Maybe she never thought Casey would be a murderer, but she knows that her daughter is a liar and thief. She just chose to indulge into a fantasy of what she wanted her daughter to be for too long. And poor Caylee paid the price for Cindy's wants. I think that is where the guilt for Cindy comes in. She knows what she let Casey get away with, and wishes she could go back and change things, desperately wanting that. But again, it's something she knows she can't have. I think that's why she supports Casey so much. She blames herself for how Casey turned out, and if Casey were to be put to death, then she would really have lost Casey forever.
I do think she's desperately hoping that maybe prison will change Casey for the better, though. I think that's why she's been halfhearted about really proving Casey innocent. She knows Casey has to suffer a real consequence for once. I think for the first time she thinks Casey can get help outside of Cindy. She'll never admit that to the public, but believe me, there is no way she wants Casey back at home, doing the same things she did before. She wants a responsible, reformed Casey back at home.
Surely now that Casey's spent over two years behind bars, she's finally going to be the daughter Cindy has always wanted and needed. They can put this whole ugly thing behind them and live the life Cindy has always wanted to live. Unfortunately, Casey hasn't changed one bit. I think deep inside, Cindy knows this, or she would really be campaigning hard for Casey's freedom. Deep inside, she's glad Casey is not her problem anymore. I do think she still has the smallest flicker of hope that she's wrong, though. And that is what keeps her going everyday and showing up at the hearings to get a glimpse of Casey. She truly believes this is a new chapter in Casey's life, and convinces herself of that everytime she sees Casey in court.
Otherwise, she has truly failed, Casey is truly lost and will never change, and honestly, I don't think Cindy would have any more reason to live. She has put everything into Casey, all her wants and dreams. She refuses to let go of that because to let go of it, to know that Casey is going to be put to death, is something I believe would kill Cindy.
This all goes to show that kids should be loved for who they are, not who their parents want them to be. Unfortunately, Cindy is still caught up in who she wants Casey to be. Casey hates her because she'll never love the real Casey, and Casey will never be what her mom wants her to be.