Casey & Family Psychological Profile #10

[logicalgirl]

snipped bm ~
If you think about their communications though, the sisters do talk quite a bit about what kid of theirs is doing what, which kid is coming or going, which kid did/does nothing, etc. What I mean is their lives still seem to revolve a lot around their grown children. I'm not sure if that's right or wrong (no judgments) but their activities and discussions are mostly about their children/grandchildren. And, of course, the kitty stories.

That said, I'm glad they have each other (wish I had a sister) and they seem very close and curteous of one another and seem to handle their own affairs very well. It has to be torture for Shirley to watch this play out and for so long.

Hey, you can have mine. Ever heard the saying be careful what you wish for - lol. Hint: how is your self esteem?

 

[logicalgirl]

CA was controlling from day one. She told GA he had to quit what HE had chosen as his life's career. My husband use to say, "Once a cop, always a cop even if you are no longer on the job." CA took away from him the one thing he really wanted to do. Clearly she was in control at that early time in their lives and has never let go of the reins. She controls him now with his misstatements.

CA is right. If she were to admit that KC did something this terrible she'd be blaming herself because they are cut from the same cloth....CA made sure of that. To even think about bearing some of the responsiblity for the death of your beloved granddaughter must be unbearable for her to even think about. jmo

Yes, I'll admit she's pretty bossy - no doubt there. But IMO- that statement "cut from the same cloth" IMO is a joke. If they were, Caylee would still be alive.

Big deal, they are blood related, but ICA is a psychopath and has always been out of CA's control - even if she hasn't been able to face that or admit it. To me it's a translation as the same thing George said - I don't want to believe a daughter of mine could do such a terrible thing (well, not a direct quote, but you get my intention). CA just cannot face that someone from her family would do something so horrendous - her mind cannot grasp it, yet of course at some level it has and of course she knows.

And sure I think she feels a huge amount of guilt, because I believe she never thought ICA would actually hurt Caylee - pawn her off on other people, or take her to situations unsuitable for a child, but kill her? Never, I don't believe she can consciously accept it completely. And so we see the bizarre support she offers ICA to the grief she shows us from time to time. Who knows, maybe her psyche is too fragile to "see" how she has contributed to Caylee's death. IDK

 

[nums24]

Yes, I'll admit she's pretty bossy - no doubt there. But IMO- that statement "cut from the same cloth" IMO is a joke. If they were, Caylee would still be alive.

Big deal, they are blood related, but ICA is a psychopath and has always been out of CA's control - even if she hasn't been able to face that or admit it. To me it's a translation as the same thing George said - I don't want to believe a daughter of mine could do such a terrible thing (well, not a direct quote, but you get my intention). CA just cannot face that someone from her family would do something so horrendous - her mind cannot grasp it, yet of course at some level it has and of course she knows.

And sure I think she feels a huge amount of guilt, because I believe she never thought ICA would actually hurt Caylee - pawn her off on other people, or take her to situations unsuitable for a child, but kill her? Never, I don't believe she can consciously accept it completely. And so we see the bizarre support she offers ICA to the grief she shows us from time to time. Who knows, maybe her psyche is too fragile to "see" how she has contributed to Caylee's death. IDK

IMO, Caylee's death illustrates just how long Cindy has been in denial and to what extreme.

Rest In Peace Sweet Caylee, justice is coming!

 

[logicalgirl]

IMO, Caylee's death illustrates just how long Cindy has been in denial and to what extreme.

Rest In Peace Sweet Caylee, justice is coming!

Yes, of course and thank you for finishing what I was stumbling along trying to say.

 

[logicalgirl]

I'm only going to say one more thing on this subject (honest - at least this week anyhow) about the Anthony family dynamic - or at least my thoughts on it.

Back in the day when I was dealing with an alcoholic - I went to alanon (sp - fried brain) and did a tremendous amount of reading to try to understand the level of craziness an alcohol brings to a family unit.

And one of the things they pointed out is there is always one person in the family who really acts out and interacts with the alcoholic. The crazier the behavior of the alcoholic, the crazier this person becomes in their behavior. But if you remove the alcoholic from the family, there is significant damage of course to the remaining family, but the person who was acting out, suddenly becomes "normal" in their behavior.

Of course they aren't - but the extreme behaviour disappears. I wonder if this is what was going on in the Anthony's. ICA controlled the family with her moods and tempers and CA became more controlling, etc.

Two more things, I apologize for using the word crazy but I don't mean it in a mental health sense and it is the word AA uses. Also, I'm aware my views aren't necessarily shared by the majority at WS, so I'll quit hogging the floor now.:blushing:

 

[nums24]

Yes, of course and thank you for finishing what I was stumbling along trying to say.

I didn't think you were stumbling, you made perfect sense! You silly girl!

 

[Woe.be.gone]

CA was controlling from day one. She told GA he had to quit what HE had chosen as his life's career. My husband use to say, "Once a cop, always a cop even if you are no longer on the job." CA took away from him the one thing he really wanted to do. Clearly she was in control at that early time in their lives and has never let go of the reins. She controls him now with his misstatements.

CA is right. If she were to admit that KC did something this terrible she'd be blaming herself because they are cut from the same cloth....CA made sure of that. To even think about bearing some of the responsiblity for the death of your beloved granddaughter must be unbearable for her to even think about. jmo

BBM ~ I can't relate to the fact that GA let CA decide for him to let his career go to pot. The men in my family wouldn't let someone else TELL them what career route to choose.

GA could have listened to her and then assured her he understood her concerns but this is who he is and what he is planning to do for his career. :waitasec: It's not like he sprung it on her after they were married either. I don't understand how one can blame CA for GA's decisions. Yes Cindy pushed him to quit the force from what I understand but why did he cave under her pressure if he loved being a cop so much? It was wrong of her to not support who he was but it was also wrong for him to let her take that part of him away from him (if we even know the whole story). I really can't relate to that because it sounds like a cop out (pun intended). :crazy:

 

[nums24]

BBM ~ I can't relate to the fact that GA let CA decide for him to let his career go to pot. The men in my family wouldn't let someone else TELL them what career route to choose.

GA could have listened to her and then assured her he understood her concerns but this is who he is and what he is planning to do for his career. :waitasec: It's not like he sprung it on her after they were married either. I don't understand how one can blame CA for GA's decisions. Yes Cindy pushed him to quit the force from what I understand but why did he cave under her pressure if he loved being a cop so much? It was wrong of her to not support who he was but it was also wrong for him to let her take that part of him away from him (if we even know the whole story). I really can't relate to that because it sounds like a cop out (pun intended). :crazy:

Do you think CA feared something bad happening to GA? On discovery page 23083, near the bottom in Yuri's notes, he has written that GA lost his partner when ICA was young, possibly died at work. Maybe that's why she wanted him to quit.

TO BE CLEAR - I'm in no way defending CA! I'm just sharing another possibility, my nephew and friend's hubby are LEO in the burbs here. I know how worried they are so much of the time.

 

[OneLostGrl]

I'll take a stab at this one. CA grew up with three brothers. As the only girl, she probably was considered 'special' by her mom and dad. That in itself is not a bad thing and maybe she was even somewhat of a good girl (good grades, wanted to go to college to become a nurse, etc.) but she was allowed to rule a little too much and her princess needs were catered too. Her brother Rick alluded to the fact that Cindy had always been like that ie, 'bossy'. But LE could not lead him to say she was a liar. We witness CA lying now but in her mind she's protecting her turf. She is overly proud and to put it crudely she has the false sense that her doesn't stink.

Enter George, Mr. Passive/Aggressive. CA probably picked him because he enjoyed her bossiness at first (heck, he didn't want to make decisions) but, after a while, he resented her and all of the decisions she made. Now Cindy is no longer being worshipped and adored by anyone - enter real life. Because she had completed her goal of earning her nursing degree, she had more power than GA in that she held the purse strings. This is not a bad thing in itself except for when GA wouldn't/didn't do his share, which emasculated him further, and then he began doing underhanded stuff, Cindy became overly concerned about being in control. This time CA was chasing the idea of having ANY control because she realized her once adoring husband was crapping all over her and later her daughter followed in his footsteps and, it seems, she tried to fight back by being more controlling. Cindy couldn't/can't let go of her dreams and the idea she has of how her family should be and she cannot accept that her family didn't turn out the way it should have imo. Therefore she looks to be, as she is, delusional.

How does that sound?

Sounds pretty darn good to me, Woe! :clap:

 

[Woe.be.gone]

Do you think CA feared something bad happening to GA? On discovery page 23083, near the bottom in Yuri's notes, he has written that GA lost his partner when ICA was young, possibly died at work. Maybe that's why she wanted him to quit.

TO BE CLEAR - I'm in no way defending CA! I'm just sharing another possibility, my nephew and friend's hubby are LEO in the burbs here. I know how worried they are so much of the time.

All wives of LE, firemen, soldiers, etc. do fear for them of course. You get used to it but it crosses your mind from time-to-time. My husband used to jump out of airplanes all the time and each time I'd pray that he'd be okay but he wasn't going to quit in the middle of his Army career because I was fearful. It doesn't matter though because these men choose what they do, and their wives support them. I guess we can't have these professions then because it's dangerous. CA's even trying to control God, fate, whatever. I don't care the reason, my whole point is that people who really want to do something won't allow somebody else to talk them out of it. That's why I wonder if GA really loved his job that much if he let CA convince him to quit.

 

[Woe.be.gone]

Hey, you can have mine. Ever heard the saying be careful what you wish for - lol. Hint: how is your self esteem?

Ha! To answer your question, it depends what day it is! :crazy:

p.s. I should have said a loving sister or a compatible sister like SP and her sister seem to be.

 

[Woe.be.gone]

Yes, Woe, it is. Now imagine living with this person for the rest of your life. Now that is real scary.

But that's the whole point of our psych talks - wondering why they do, why they would stay together. It's a dance. I don't think one person is totally to blame but whatever it is they're supposed to be learning they don't seem to be evolving much. They can't face their own music imo.

 

[OneLostGrl]

I'm only going to say one more thing on this subject (honest - at least this week anyhow) about the Anthony family dynamic - or at least my thoughts on it.

Back in the day when I was dealing with an alcoholic - I went to alanon (sp - fried brain) and did a tremendous amount of reading to try to understand the level of craziness an alcohol brings to a family unit.

And one of the things they pointed out is there is always one person in the family who really acts out and interacts with the alcoholic. The crazier the behavior of the alcoholic, the crazier this person becomes in their behavior. But if you remove the alcoholic from the family, there is significant damage of course to the remaining family, but the person who was acting out, suddenly becomes "normal" in their behavior.

Of course they aren't - but the extreme behaviour disappears. I wonder if this is what was going on in the Anthony's. ICA controlled the family with her moods and tempers and CA became more controlling, etc.

Two more things, I apologize for using the word crazy but I don't mean it in a mental health sense and it is the word AA uses. Also, I'm aware my views aren't necessarily shared by the majority at WS, so I'll quit hogging the floor now.:blushing:

Or they find someone else to "take care of". Codependency is Codependency and unless dealt with- with the consistent hard work we spoke of earlier- the patterns of behavior will follow the people for the rest of their lives. With the addict (or otherwise "sick" person) gone from their lives it may appear their behaviors have improved but it's only because they don't have anyone to "fix" anymore.. in other words, it's temporary ... until the next fix comes along.

My mother couldn't be in any kind of healthy relationship no matter how much she claimed to want to be. She made reasonably well people sick.. she made people needy and dependant (though I believe it was mostly subconscious). The technical name for one of the games that is played is called "Projective identification" ([ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Projective_identification"]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Projective_identification[/ame]) they decide what it is they want to believe about the person and then make it real by the way they treat and relate to them- so naturally the other person reacts to how they are treated and like magic they become just what the person said they were. Women like this are pro's at finding people who are easily re-shapable. There are thousands of "George's" out there who need "Cindy's".

Not that it matters but I enjoy your posts and your views and I'm glad that you are willing to share them with us... don't stop! My views aren't shared by many either (haha here's this mentally ill drug addict felon talking like she knows what she's talking about! she should prolly shut up already :crazy mainly the fact that I don't think Casey is a psychopath but it doesn't stop me from flapping my gums! lol We don't all always have to agree- it's the meeting of the minds that I enjoy!

 

[OneLostGrl]

snipped bm ~
If you think about their communications though, the sisters do talk quite a bit about what kid of theirs is doing what, which kid is coming or going, which kid did/does nothing, etc. What I mean is their lives still seem to revolve a lot around their grown children. I'm not sure if that's right or wrong (no judgments) but their activities and discussions are mostly about their children/grandchildren. And, of course, the kitty stories.

That said, I'm glad they have each other (wish I had a sister) and they seem very close and curteous of one another and seem to handle their own affairs very well. It has to be torture for Shirley to watch this play out and for so long.

haa.. want mine!?!

 

[Woe.be.gone]

Can I have her on a trial basis? Wait, she'd probably have to be my daughter!

 

[OneLostGrl]

A long time ago my mom put on her refrigerater "Let Go and Let God". But then you really have to own it and do it (let go). We cannot control other people. We can ask for what we need and hope it is given to us but we cannot tell other people what they must do, what we think they should do or especially what they are going to do. It doesn't work like that. But we can tell other people what they are not going to be allowed to do to us which is challenging when you want to be the center of the universe for whatever reason (thinking it's love, getting affirmation from the outside, ego/thinking you know what's right for everyone else, praise and feeling needed, among other reasons).

I'm noticing this behavior in play now more than ever since learning about it through this case and am beginning to be able to identify when others are exerting their control over others, are angry when they don't get the cooperation they 'ordered' in a hidden way, expect others' to make them happy, etc. Awareness is a scary thing!

Amen, Woe. We must learn how to take care of ourselves and then do it. and let others do the same for themselves.

 

[OneLostGrl]

But that's the whole point of our psych talks - wondering why they do, why they would stay together. It's a dance. I don't think one person is totally to blame but whatever it is they're supposed to be learning they don't seem to be evolving much. They can't face their own music imo.

ITA.

Having to deal with each others keeps them from having to deal with their own . Life is easier to handle when it's not YOU who's got the issues but everyone around you. If you surround yourself with people full of issues it keep you from seeing your own.

And now I'm off to watch dateline and hear about the Winklers issues!

 

[The World According]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ajibgshx94[/ame]
"You cannot overlook the Karmic aspect to this, here they were out on some big media tour, and a meter reader finds the body. Somebody needs to take a look at what is really going on here", Mark Nejame said.
"I would be beating my client up from morning until night to be truthful", Mr. Nejame responded to the question of if you were Jose Baez right now what would you be doing.

He seemed to have the family profile figured out and then some.
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ndga-NzEIs[/ame]
Can you imagine, they got the news before the boarded the plane to return after this Larry King interview, that the remains were found. Would anything in the world have stopped you from rushing to the scene to find out any little detail you could? Could you imagine going to a luxury hotel, on a media outlet's dime instead for a nice dinner, while it is neighbors and strangers out in the rain, crying in shock, trying to get information on this major development?
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbNCHyDa83Y[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uG-bUi5QFl4[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go564cjeat8[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgC0jodXXbs[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0zrHUJDevY[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eS6jlWogQR0[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0pN0pALg5E[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU1SAl5V-TU[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9Myif1EmSA[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ6u9-pai-Y[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRO6V0-BvFg[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaYl6mhOZTk[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUG0i2VMSUk[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDH3kk1qjw0[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3O6IQMO4pk[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWfvYaSB1i0[/ame]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsvTZHTwAOA[/ame]

 

[logicalgirl]

haa.. want mine!?!

Hey! Not Fair!!! I offered mine first!!!!!:dance:

 

[logicalgirl]

ITA.

Having to deal with each others keeps them from having to deal with their own . Life is easier to handle when it's not YOU who's got the issues but everyone around you. If you surround yourself with people full of issues it keep you from seeing your own.

And now I'm off to watch dateline and hear about the Winklers issues!

Whoa! AMEN of the day!!!!!