I haven't personally been through a nasty divorce, but have a close friend that is currently. My friends case has been going on four years and counting. Yes, judges make orders based on the word of one party.
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I don't know what happened in this family or this case.
I do know nasty divorce. If I thought this was a category WS would verify you as an "expert" in, I'd apply for sure.
In the General Discussion section there are threads about how to deal with divorce if you are a battered mom or a protective parent. The links in those threads should help anyone understand that family court is not like criminal court. You don't need proof to get a judge to rule. If you actually have proof, a judge is free to totally ignore it.
My ex husband has made a second career about filing false things about me after our divorce, just to mess with me. He makes the most hurtful and humiliating allegations he can think of against me or anyone he knows I care about. And each time, I still have to scrape together money for an attorney, explain to my boss while I need time off, and deal with my son's anger and anxiety about it. He never wins, but I don't think winning is his goal. Getting even with me is.
My ex especially likes to pick happy times in my life to do this. When I got married, he filed for custody. When he heard I was pregnant, it got worse. He called one Sunday and said he was stuck in Pennsylvania (not that he told me he was going out of state or anything), and he couldn't get his car fixed until morning so he would just bring my son to school as soon as he could on Monday. Instead, he was in town and heading down to the courthouse on Monday to file a protection order against me for malnourishing and neglecting my son. With no evidence, his order was granted and I was treated like a criminal, basically. I couldn't call my son, couldn't call his school or step foot on their property. Meanwhile he kept my son out of school and my son spent two weeks completely isolated with is abuser until the hearing was granted. My worry for my son made me so physically sick I was terrified I was going to lose the baby I was carrying. It was the worst thing I've ever been through. My lawyer was worth every penny though. He subpoenaed my son's principal, EVERY teacher he had, his pediatrician, our pastor, family friends, all who without hesitation were ready to testify that my son was the picture of health and well taken care of. When my ex saw them at the courthouse he withdrew his motion and so the judge told him he had to return my son to me. My son still has anxiety from that experience.
Only when a concerned teacher made a report to CPS about his dad did things start to change for us. That whole experience I think actually put some fear in my ex. (His other kids are now home schooled so that he doesn't have to worry about concerned teachers anymore
) Also, now my son is older so that helps. He can speak up more. He sees a therapist and that helps too. He still has to go for visitation, and it's still very hard for him, but his dad is a little more cautious now.
The climate is changing. The APA refusing to put PAS in the DSM-V was a huge win for child advocates. VAWA grants are making a big difference with programs to educate court personnel about the dynamics of DV. Cases like the Jerry Sandusky case and the Powell children have caused people to wake up some. But it's a very sloooow change, and right now, family court is often a place with no oversight, not enough training, and sometimes, not much justice.
