CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #12

[Abby Normal Again]

All I can deduce from all the allegations is that the entire family, minus Dylan, is LIKELY a family with drinking and violent issues. How many are true and how many are false we will never know. I know this though, I don't know of any sober , pacifist people who 've been accused of drinking and violence ! Do you ? So probably there is at least some truth to ' most' of the allegations from all parties involved. A bad situation.
I also wonder if most of those allegations stemmed from one or two totally wild party nights, like a new years eve party kind of thing and maybe the rest of the time , things were placid? I hear you all groaning and rolling your eyes. I'm just saying it's possible that no one is an all day long drinker and fighter..... some nights might have gotten out of hand all these stories are from that.



YES , I heard your eyes rolling

No, I do suspect this is the worst of the worst. Otherwise there would be a lot more reports, or they wouldn't have thought to report these, you know? They'd be just another day. There's a reason only a couple reports made it to the courts. Unless there are lots more that are sealed, of course. (?)

 

[scorekeeper]

Not really sure I understand this part; rage would be just as bad if not alcohol-related, no?

Yes, rage is bad but if you add alcohol and possible blackouts....I think that makes it a much more volitale situation...but I guess that is JMO :blushing:

 

[tamild]

Seriously though...who has sex in their front yard? Where their sons (and heaven knows who else) can see?

I know, right? :what:

Looking at the dates and stuff, I am *guessing* that this was a 4th of July party at ER's place?

 

[Linda7NJ]

To answer the "what would you ask the family or LE you could ask them a question", mine would be 'what does dad's cell phone record look like?' To support Mark's story, it would have to be on when Dylan is not by his side and it would have to match where he said he traveled.

If it was on all the time and shows his every move (and he didn't stop in a woods somewhere, or drive by the lake), that could explain why LE is not calling him a suspect.

I'd also like to see the what the conversation with the friend and past friends has entailed. Track record from the night before seems to be that Dylan contacts his friends when plans change. Yet that morning he doesn't, even though he's stood them up, and then potentially starts walking to go visit other friends in another city without contacting them either. I'd like to know if this is Dylan's usual pattern of communication with friends, and he often changes plans at the last minute without talking to anyone.

My husband used to drive truck, my son got his first cell phone when he was about 8 years old. It was a Nextel with the two way radio so he and his dad could talk all the time.

I'm wondering how often dad texted, called or tried to communicate with his son over the last three years.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[scorekeeper]

Thank you for this, scorekeeper.. I admit and apologize for my above error of what year dad filed the "I suspect mom drank and drove with kids TWO YEARS PRIOR" papers... however I do stand by my opinion that the papers filed by Mark about his suspicion of mom TWO WHOLE YEARS PRIOR, drank and drove with kids is extremely difficult to take as truth..simply due to the fact that it is beyond nonsensical to wait TWO WHOLE ENTIRE CALENDAR YEARS to report such a negligent and abusive claim against his wife/estranged wife..

Jmo, tho..and again thanks, scorekeeper for reposting this particular information bringing to my attention my error posted upthread.

Smooth,

Didn't post it because of anything you posted (LOL, didn't even realize you said something different because I usually agree with your post!). From your post, I thought I would bring it over for those that may not have seen it last night, that's the only reason. :blushing:

 

[Marilynilpa]

And Dad has some other charges from 1988 and 1992, Theft and Menacing. FWIW

And it is now 2012. Isn't it possible things have changed for MR? I know I'm not the same person I was 10 or 15 years ago.

 

[AlexisFresca]

OT - is there reason I keep having to log in every so often? Very frustrating :|

 

[Seajay]

Seriously though...who has sex in their front yard? Where their sons (and heaven knows who else) can see?

Makes me wonder about the woman who would do that.

 

[katydid23]

And it is now 2012. Isn't it possible things have changed for MR? I know I'm not the same person I was 10 or 15 years ago.

One would think so. But he was arrested for 'menacing' in the 90's, and then AGAIN in 2003. How many people do you know that have EVER been arrested for the charge of MENACING? But he apparently did not learn his lesson, because he was arrested for the same thing again. And over a stupid broken toy truck????

I am not sure that he has really learned his lesson and changed all that much. JMO

 

[Lori_TX]

Except our only indication that he is an alcoholic is the word if an ex-wife in a bitter court/custody battle. After what Julia Metalwala said about Solomon, I am never in a hurry to believe an ex wife (eta: or husband!) without outside proof. Imo calling him an alcoholic falls under the category of armchair diagnosis.

I already outlined reasons to believe he may not be an alcoholic (CDL related, my past posts) and that could be wrong too. I am just not sure we have adequate evidence to diagnose him? jmo

FWIW I wasn't calling anyone an alcoholic. I was just discussing aspects that i can relate to on some level because of my own personal experience. There are several things that stand out to me, having grown up with an alcoholic father. But I am definitely not diagnosing anyone. I think as we all sit here mulling over the same points, it's natural to discuss behaviors or situations that stand out to us on a personal level. IMO

Also FWIW - my father has been an alcoholic longer than I've been alive, has zero DUIs on his record, and has a CDL. I think he's been very lucky so far, because I know that as long as he's awake, he's drinking.

 

[AlexisFresca]

True. In the first several days they targeted the lake area, partially because dad gave them an important clue about Dylan's fishing pole being missing. But now they seem to be backtracking, by looking in the ditches that Dad's car passed on the way home from Walmart/Mcdonalds. I find it very revealing
that they are starting there and not continuing the search in Bayfield instead.

Yep - the opposite direction of the route home from the airport. The fishing pole really bothers me. Still think its a red herring and a plant.

 

[Ransom]

But it is not just a 'he said/she said' in the case of dad having sex outside in view of the family home. Because there were 'witnesses'---his sons.

Also, in the case where dad was arrested for menacing/assault/child abuse etc, it was a NEIGHBOR that called the cops, not mom. So it is not just a 'he said/she said situation. There were witnesses to Dad's volatility and temper tantrums.

BBM: These charges against ER/CR and against MR were DISMISSED in 2008. They were divorced in 2007 ...

http://www.durangoherald.com/article/20121203/NEWS01/121209881/0/SEARCH/Police-reveal-no-new-leads

Mark Redwine filed a restraining order against his son, Cory, and Elaine Redwine in July 2008. Elaine Redwine filed a restraining order against her ex-husband on the same date. Dylan was listed as a protected person in both orders. Both of the orders were dismissed in December 2008.

 

[katydid23]

Makes me wonder about the woman who would do that.

A very drunk one, most likely.

 

[Dee10]

And it is now 2012. Isn't it possible things have changed for MR? I know I'm not the same person I was 10 or 15 years ago.

Yes it is possible things have changed for MR for the better or escalated for the worst. His background, his temper, etc. are red flags and certainly is being rightfully investigated I am sure. I am also sure they have looked at ER & Corey too, but I don't see any red flags there. JMO

 

[AlexisFresca]

FWIW I wasn't calling anyone an alcoholic. I was just discussing aspects that i can relate to on some level because of my own personal experience. There are several things that stand out to me, having grown up with an alcoholic father. But I am definitely not diagnosing anyone. I think as we all sit here mulling over the same points, it's natural to discuss behaviors or situations that stand out to us on a personal level. IMO

Also FWIW - my father has been an alcoholic longer than I've been alive, has zero DUIs on his record, and has a CDL. I think he's been very lucky so far, because I know that as long as he's awake, he's drinking.

Thank you for sharing this; this has been a topic of strong debate in recent threads of whether it is or isn't possible.

 

[katydid23]

BBM: These charges against ER/CR and against MR were DISMISSED in 2008. They were divorced in 2007 ...

http://www.durangoherald.com/article/20121203/NEWS01/121209881/0/SEARCH/Police-reveal-no-new-leads

Mark Redwine filed a restraining order against his son, Cory, and Elaine Redwine in July 2008. Elaine Redwine filed a restraining order against her ex-husband on the same date. Dylan was listed as a protected person in both orders. Both of the orders were dismissed in December 2008.

I don't care if the charges were dismissed or not. He still admittedly had public sex, right OUTSIDE his family home, with his sons inside, able to see him. That is what I find disturbing. I don't really care if the charges stuck or not or if they were divorced or married. He was still acting like a drunken fool and hurt and humiliated his sons very much. I think it shows his volatility and his very poor decision making skills. JMO

 

[Ransom]

Leaving here shortly with a group from Santa Fe, Los Alamos, Tesuque, etc. to head to Vallecito. We are all accomplished hikers/mountain bikers with our own equipment/food/water in tow. The weather is going to turn on/about late Saturday/Sunday with first snow coming.

I'll take all your thoughts and prayers with me. Peace.

 

[ttcRider]

Yep - the opposite direction of the route home from the airport. The fishing pole really bothers me. Still think its a red herring and a plant.

Isnt the opposite direction from airport heading towards where Dylan's friends live?

 

[Confusion]

I completely agree. And you are SO right about alcoholics blaming everyone else for every single thing. It's never their fault. About 6 months ago, I reached a point where I needed to stop all communication with my dad. I'd been down that road with him countless times, and there is always a tipping point where the relationship begins to affect every aspect of my life and I have to take a break from it. I told him point blank that i would no longer be answering his calls, that i could not deal with his drunkeness and all that comes with it. Anyway, the point it is - to this day he still calls my brother and my mom asking why I'm so flaky! He whines about how he can't understand how the daughter he raised can be so selfish and turn her back on her own father. Seriously. And due to the dysfunction that I grew up in, I seriously have to remind myself constantly that I'm not the one that did anything! I feel guilty for shutting him out, and he perpetuates those feelings with my entire dysfunctional family. It's crazy and sad and infuriating all at once.

Anyway, sorry for the O/T. I really just wanted to say thanks for your post about this! It definitely rings true for me, and for many others I've met along the way in Al-Anon.

BBM

That may be true in general, but not ALL alcoholics. I know some who tend to blame themselves for everything, especially being too weak to stay sober permanently. In fact, I have one brother who still drinks and refuses to go to family functions because he thinks of himself as the "black sheep" of the family. I've tried telling him that we're all black sheep in this family, but it hasn't helped.

Minus any use of alcohol, he does appear to have a temper/anger issues. But it could be totally between the two parents but some of the previous court documents point to a dysfunctional relationship that possibly involved the children....

Oh, I really do pray that alcohol is not a factor....

do we know that he has his CDL? Can't you work for a trucking company and not drive a truck? Dispatcher, supervisor?

She didn't say he worked at a trucking company, she said she knew he had been driving truck, but didn't know if he still was. I haven't seen any indication that he ever lost/quit that job.

Mark alleged on a protection order affidavit that Elaine was drinking with the kids in the car. That is NOT THE SAME as Elaine facing charges for DUI. The news report did not indicate ANY criminal charges for Elaine whatsoever and I don't think the reporter said anyone in that family had been charged with alcohol related crimes. She did say Cory had some minor alcohol and drug charges, but nothing specific was said.

There was, however, the other incident where Mark's criminal charges were brought up but I don't think those events were the ones that caused the protection orders that each side filed against each other in the 2005 through 2008 time frame. Although I may be mistaken, I'm getting mixed up and just anxious for Dylan to be located!

BBM

Isn't Cory a part of the family? :waitasec:

 

[beach]

Mod Request:

Can someone give me a link to the info on tomorrow's search for Dylan Redwine?

I would like to put the info in the notices so locals will have the info handy and can participate.

TIA!

:tyou: