CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #12

[Dee10]

I imagine it is in other reports attached to the court papers.

Knowing how some mothers are though she probably denied it and covered for her son. Like one of my best friends has told me for years who is a family court Judge there will be more lying and covering up in divorce/custody cases than any other type of case.

Curious, why do you think she should be lumped in with those "some mothers" and "probably denied it and covered for her son"? I am not seeing what you see.

 

[DylansMom34]

Well, I guess there won't be any more child custody hearings regarding Dylan anymore.

I still wonder if anyone had a life insurance policy or could otherwise gain financially if Dylan were to pass away.

 

[DylansMom34]

I imagine it is in other reports attached to the court papers.

Knowing how some mothers are though she probably denied it and covered for her son. Like one of my best friends has told me for years who is a family court Judge there will be more lying and covering up in divorce/custody cases than any other type of case.

Conversely, I wonder if dad was lying and making these things up when he wrote them onto the Protection Order request.

Maybe Mom's cover things to protect their young children. And, it is my bet in this particular situation, the Dad lied to protect his own backside. IMO MOO

 

[cluciano63]

Well, I guess there won't be any more child custody hearings regarding Dylan anymore.

I still wonder if anyone had a life insurance policy or could otherwise gain financially if Dylan were to pass away.

He would need to be found, or at least declared dead, for anyone to benefit, if so. And I don't think courts would be in a hurry to declare a child dead, when there is always the chance that he was kidnapped.

I think when someone is killed for money, the body is usually right there and it is the method of murder that is obscured or attempted to be obscured, anyway.

 

[jjenny]

He would need to be found, or at least declared dead, for anyone to benefit, if so. And I don't think courts would be in a hurry to declare a child dead, when there is always the chance that he was kidnapped.

I think when someone is killed for money, the body is usually right there and it is the method of murder that is obscured or attempted to be obscured, anyway.

Yea. Murder for insurance money is usually presented as some sort of an accidental death.
But still I would be interested to know if anyone had life insurance on Dylan.

 

[SmoothOperator]

Conversely, I wonder if dad was lying and making these things up when he wrote them onto the Protection Order request.

Maybe Mom's cover things to protect their young children. And, it is my bet in this particular situation, the Dad lied to protect his own backside. IMO MOO

Moo of course but what goes toward the above being true where dad is concerned is the fact that after mom filed the order of protection(right after the incidents of violence and inappropriate behavior occurred)..dad goes and files court papers making a claim THAT A WHOLE ENTIRE TWO YEARS PRIOR he suspected mom had drank and drove with the kids(now that's in clear black/white handwritten on the order filed by dad and can be seen with our own two eyes in the 9news video linked repeatedly)

hmmmmmm...now let's see does that make a whole helluva lotta sense ??....NO!..JMO,THO!

ETA: a few posts below after reviewing scorekeeper's reposting the exact info, note that I corrected my error made in this post WRT when dad filed the "2years prior drink/drive suspicion" papers about Elaine..

 

[AlexisFresca]

Conversely, I wonder if dad was lying and making these things up when he wrote them onto the Protection Order request.

Maybe Mom's cover things to protect their young children. And, it is my bet in this particular situation, the Dad lied to protect his own backside. IMO MOO

Must admit, speaking for myself, and from what has been made public so far, am finding myself inclined to believe mom more at this time than dad. Alcoholics always find reasons to blame everyone else except for themselves. Saw this first hand with several in my family. The alcoholic always played the passive victim, it was always the other person's fault that they reacted the way they did. 'Woe is me, I don't know why such and such is reacting this way or treating me this way' :sigh:
So if they can't even be honest about their role in a conflicts or for their reasons for drinking, how do we know they are capable of honesty in other areas?


Something Mark said in the one video (the one taped at the video store or whatever it was). Am paraphrasing, but I remember several times Mark said something along the lines of how Dylan planned Monday and Tuesday with friends, how he understood how important his friends were to him. He repeated the latter half of that sentence a few times in that interview.

So, putting myself in Mark's situation briefly. I share custody with the ex but don't see my child much. Then the ex moves away and I get ticked for whatever reasons. I see my child in September (though no details made public about how much Dylan did or didn't see his friends during that visit).

Then get granted a court ordered visitation for November - Thanksgiving, at that, a holiday. My child wants to see their friends the very same night they fly in. In all honesty, would I really be happy about the fact that, first night in - my child wants to spend it with friends and not me?

Even in families that are close and get along, I can't see a parent being that understanding and trying to emphasize how important their friends are. Most parents want that first night with their child.

I'm just saying, for all the fighting and dysfunction in that family, was Mark really 'okay' about Dylan seeing his friends - even the first two days of his visit home with dad?

 

[AlexisFresca]

Well, I guess there won't be any more child custody hearings regarding Dylan anymore.

I still wonder if anyone had a life insurance policy or could otherwise gain financially if Dylan were to pass away.

jmoo, My feeling is this was more of an infliction of personal hurt, not for a financial gain.

 

[scorekeeper]

I imagine it is in other reports attached to the court papers.

Knowing how some mothers are though she probably denied it and covered for her son. Like one of my best friends has told me for years who is a family court Judge there will be more lying and covering up in divorce/custody cases than any other type of case.

I don't think that it only happens in family court. Hmmmm FCA trial ring any bells...

Yes, some mothers will cover for their children to keep them out of a possible harmful situation....I know I would 1000 for my kids

 

[DylansMom34]

I just hope that for whomever is responsible for harming Dylan that person never has a moment of peace or feeling that this isn't going to catch up with them. It turns my stomach that someone hurt this child and especially that it was very likely someone who is supposed to protect and raise Dylan to adulthood. AGGRAVATING!

 

[scorekeeper]

from my post yesterday/last night.....:banghead::banghead:

the report said - written by Mark - 7/4/08

While at his ______ house I was attacked and beaten then left for hours until I woke up and Corey admitted he was the one who beat me. A woman in the house several months ago Corey became violent with his ____ and tried to throw down a flight of stairs. ___ had numerous bruises and has admitted to me she can't control him and is afraid of him.

**I do not know what women/girl they are talking about - Mark did NOT say it was Elaine

the report written by Elaine on 7/4/08

Mark was having sex with a friend of ours in our yard under my window. Corey saw everything. Corey confronted mark. Mark got extremely beligerant as he was very drunk and grabbed me and took a swing at his son,
"D" reacted and hit Mark. He becomes extremely mean when drinking. Lets our 9 year old drive an ATV w/out him. The sheriff's office has spoken to him about this.

in 2005 mark wrote

2 years ago when living in Denver area she was bad about drinking and driving with kids. I removed the children from school because I was afraid she would pick them up drunk or after drinking.

reporter says - judge issued temp order for her to not be around kids while drinking or driving them ****I think for the next 2 years

This is what I transcribed...I may not be totally right but you get the picture and sorry if this has already been posted.

***transcribed from 9 new video of 12/6

 

[DylansMom34]

I'd be interested in learning more about MR's: 1988 Menacing case from El Paso County and the 1992 Theft case from El Paso County.

 

[Lori_TX]

Must admit, speaking for myself, and from what has been made public so far, am finding myself inclined to believe mom more at this time than dad. Alcoholics always find reasons to blame everyone else except for themselves. Saw this first hand with several in my family. The alcoholic always played the passive victim, it was always the other person's fault that they reacted the way they did. 'Woe is me, I don't know why such and such is reacting this way or treating me this way' :sigh:
So if they can't even be honest about their role in a conflicts or for their reasons for drinking, how do we know they are capable of honesty in other areas?

I completely agree. And you are SO right about alcoholics blaming everyone else for every single thing. It's never their fault. About 6 months ago, I reached a point where I needed to stop all communication with my dad. I'd been down that road with him countless times, and there is always a tipping point where the relationship begins to affect every aspect of my life and I have to take a break from it. I told him point blank that i would no longer be answering his calls, that i could not deal with his drunkeness and all that comes with it. Anyway, the point it is - to this day he still calls my brother and my mom asking why I'm so flaky! He whines about how he can't understand how the daughter he raised can be so selfish and turn her back on her own father. Seriously. And due to the dysfunction that I grew up in, I seriously have to remind myself constantly that I'm not the one that did anything! I feel guilty for shutting him out, and he perpetuates those feelings with my entire dysfunctional family. It's crazy and sad and infuriating all at once.

Anyway, sorry for the O/T. I really just wanted to say thanks for your post about this! It definitely rings true for me, and for many others I've met along the way in Al-Anon.

 

[scorekeeper]

I completely agree. And you are SO right about alcoholics blaming everyone else for every single thing. It's never their fault. About 6 months ago, I reached a point where I needed to stop all communication with my dad. I'd been down that road with him countless times, and there is always a tipping point where the relationship begins to affect every aspect of my life and I have to take a break from it. I told him point blank that i would no longer be answering his calls, that i could not deal with his drunkeness and all that comes with it. Anyway, the point it is - to this day he still calls my brother and my mom asking why I'm so flaky! He whines about how he can't understand how the daughter he raised can be so selfish and turn her back on her own father. Seriously. And due to the dysfunction that I grew up in, I seriously have to remind myself constantly that I'm not the one that did anything! I feel guilty for shutting him out, and he perpetuates those feelings with my entire dysfunctional family. It's crazy and sad and infuriating all at once.

Anyway, sorry for the O/T. I really just wanted to say thanks for your post about this! It definitely rings true for me, and for many others I've met along the way in Al-Anon.

Right there with you!! ((((hugs))))

And Dylan did NOTHING to deserve what happened to him....lease:

 

[Abby Normal Again]

Except our only indication that he is an alcoholic is the word if an ex-wife in a bitter court/custody battle. After what Julia Metalwala said about Solomon, I am never in a hurry to believe an ex wife (eta: or husband!) without outside proof. Imo calling him an alcoholic falls under the category of armchair diagnosis.

I already outlined reasons to believe he may not be an alcoholic (CDL related, my past posts) and that could be wrong too. I am just not sure we have adequate evidence to diagnose him? jmo

 

[LotusPawprint]

Using the map that VEGA created, I slowly inched along the route from Durango airport to Walmart to McDonalds and back to Vallecito on Satellite mode.

Other than the obvious that the terrain is going to be brutal and endless for the searchers tomorrow.... unless they're able to narrow down the search to a specific portion of the route.

I can't remember what the most definitive answer was about surveillance cameras at McDonalds -- (discussed on thread 11)-- is it up to the individual franchise to have cameras? Do we think LE has footage of dad and Dylan or not? Are they just choosing to not release it? Either way, there's a Wells Fargo across the street from the McD's, though I can't tell which side is the front of the bank- they may have cameras facing the Mc'Ds.

Does this sound reasonable-- I'd think with the information MR has given LE about what happened to Dylan's cell on Sunday night (his version, at least) LE would get a hold of the same model of cell Dylan has, same carrier and retrace the route Dad and Dylan (supposedly) took from the airport back to dad's. They can check for themselves what the cell reception is like and where it would go in and out. The FBI's capabilities here can do wonders I believe, in trying to recreate Dylan's phone, if you will -- in wearing down the battery so they're using a phone as similiar to Dylan's as possible.

Since dad has been "cooperative" with LE from the beginning and since the last known cell activity was at 8pm-ish on Sunday night, theoretically LE should be able to get to wherever Dylan's last known whereabouts were at 8pm. (ETA: That's a big "IF" and big "theoretically", dependent upon dad's honesty + the cell records)

Or have we established that in this general area there aren't enough cell towers to ping off of location A, or location B? I know it's been mentioned in MSM articles that dad has a cell (he tried texting Dylan, he's tried texting Cory and ER, they tried texting him) so it would make sense that he brought his cell that Sunday to pick Dylan up from the airport. I can't imagine picking someone up at an airport without a cell (disaster!) but I don't go to little airports like what I think Durango must be like (Hello, Logan and JFK!).

I'm stating what's been stated before but it's so darn frustrating!! If they both had cell phones, where were they at 8pm? Was dad's still moving at 8?

How can there be nothing to go on?
There has to be more than we know. Right?
No?
Maybe?

 

[scorekeeper]

Except our only indication that he is an alcoholic is the word if an ex-wife in a bitter court/custody battle. After what Julia Metalwala said about Solomon, I am never in a hurry to believe an ex wife without outside proof. Imo is falls under the category of armchair diagnosis.

I already outlined reasons to believe he may not be an alcoholic (CDL related, my past posts) and that could be wrong too. I am just not sure we have adequate evidence to diagnose him? jmo

Minus any use of alcohol, he does appear to have a temper/anger issues. But it could be totally between the two parents but some of the previous court documents point to a dysfunctional relationship that possibly involved the children....

Oh, I really do pray that alcohol is not a factor....

do we know that he has his CDL? Can't you work for a trucking company and not drive a truck? Dispatcher, supervisor?

 

[cluciano63]

Minus any use of alcohol, he does appear to have a temper/anger issues. But it could be totally between the two parents but some of the previous court documents point to a dysfunctional relationship that possibly involved the children....

Oh, I really do pray that alcohol is not a factor....

do we know that he has his CDL? Can't you work for a trucking company and not drive a truck? Dispatcher, supervisor?

Not really sure I understand this part; rage would be just as bad if not alcohol-related, no?

 

[dogsearch]

I thought someone posted was previously charged with drunk driving, and alcohol was mentioned in the incident in 2008. I think it's also likely that the "child neglect" charge was related to alcohol (I think Dylan was maybe 5ish?).

Does Elaine say that Mark is an alcoholic or accuse him of that? I must have missed that.

I worked at an alcohol and other drugs assessment center for a while. Multiple arrests that involved alcohol might seem innocent when spread this far apart, but when viewed in terms of an assessment it's seen as a very high indicator of an alcohol problem.

But either way it doesn't mean Mark was drinking that night. I think if he was, he'd have a much harder time cleaning up after an unplanned crime.

 

[AlexisFresca]

I completely agree. And you are SO right about alcoholics blaming everyone else for every single thing. It's never their fault. About 6 months ago, I reached a point where I needed to stop all communication with my dad. I'd been down that road with him countless times, and there is always a tipping point where the relationship begins to affect every aspect of my life and I have to take a break from it. I told him point blank that i would no longer be answering his calls, that i could not deal with his drunkeness and all that comes with it. Anyway, the point it is - to this day he still calls my brother and my mom asking why I'm so flaky! He whines about how he can't understand how the daughter he raised can be so selfish and turn her back on her own father. Seriously. And due to the dysfunction that I grew up in, I seriously have to remind myself constantly that I'm not the one that did anything! I feel guilty for shutting him out, and he perpetuates those feelings with my entire dysfunctional family. It's crazy and sad and infuriating all at once.

Anyway, sorry for the O/T. I really just wanted to say thanks for your post about this! It definitely rings true for me, and for many others I've met along the way in Al-Anon.

Lori, so sorry about your situation. My oldest sister has nothing to do with my dad for reasons I can't get into here. Many years ago I stupidly had dinner with the man who calls himself my father and his new wife. This was after a family funeral.
At the restaurant he lamented how he doesn't understand my older sister's attitude/actions towards his at the funeral and feelings towards him, then his new wife chimed in as well how she couldn't understand it either, 'after all these years'.
I knew 'why' (more than he realizes), but rather than reveal why I knew he was lying, it was better to keep it to myself. He would have further denied it and then gone on to deny I saw what I did.
Sometimes you just have to leave it be, walk away and not fight, yanno? Until the person is ready to be honest with themselves and respect you enough to validate and apologize for what they did, nothing will change.