CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #16

[nikb]

I have held my breath long enough, let me introduce myself, I am MR's first ex wife. I joined this website because I saw that you all were looking up information on my children. They are innocent, they are hurting, they are real.

Go for it, check me out, email me, google me, do whatever you want. My name is Elizabeth J Roser, it changed to Redwine after we got divorced and it is now Horvath.

Let me tell you something about MR, the mods can stop me, but honestly I am absolutely sick by all of this.

We did not have the perfect marriage, young, niave, whatever. But he did act like a father to my daughter, we created two wonderful, beautiful, caring boys. He was not nice, he is a manipulator, a con artist and an abuser.

I'm done being nice, I'm done being evasive. I will allow all of you to look up our court records, look up our police reports. Mark is NOT a nice person. I'll go to court and defend that statement. There is not enough time or space for me to say what all he did to me and my children.

Have any of you wondered why two of his children refuse to talk to him, but they have a connection with Elaine? That is because she was the person that I felt would care for my children, would make sure they were taken care of. I have not spent a lot of time with her, but I can tell you this, I would trust her with my grandchildren any time, any day, any where. But I sure as heck would not Mark to even know they exist.

Did any of you wonder why it was that he never particpated in a search until AFTER the media was involved. Why his comments are directed toward Elaine knowing everything vs where is my son? The guy is nuts! He abused me, check the records, he abused our children, check the records. I have no doubt that Mark did something IMO.

I don't know all the rules on this site, I don't know if I'm out of line. I just don't know. But what I can tell you is that I have children, (yes they are adults) and grandchildren, that know this man more than any of you will ever know him. They are scared for Dylan, they hurt for Dylan and they worry about Dylan. I as a mother, cry, pray and hurt for Elaine each and every second of every day. Ask yourselves, why would WE, people that Mark has not been involved with (oh other than to sign over custody of his two children) in over 8 years care more about this than Mark.

As an FYI, Mark and I just got done with court in about 2003 or 2004 and we divorced in 1989. He finally gave up his parental rights to his children, as long as I forego the $40000 + in unpaid child support.

He is a smoot operator and knows how to work people, just be careful.

Thank you so very much for joining, posting, and going through the effort to get verified, Azgrandma. I missed all the drama that seems to have happened and I'm glad to have missed it, because I just want to welcome you and thank you.

I'm so glad to see you posting here and sharing your insight. I know that we all want Dylan HOME, more than anything. Safe, sound, and NOW would be even better.

 

[Seajay]

How do you get from crappy husband and crappy father to murderer??? That's what I want to know. How do we get there??

Is it ok for me to wait until LE arrests him and charges him with something before I jump on the "I hate Mark Redwine" bandwagon???

FTR: I never mentioned one thing about any of azgrandma's kids. Never sleuthed them, their names never came from my fingertips.

I just am not to the he murdered the kid yet. I got thrown a curve ball tonight like many people here did and I'm gonna have to think about this before I can get to that place. IMO

 

[katydid23]

We have heard from 2 ex-wives who describe him as abusive, and manipulative. He is somewhat estranged from his 3 older sons. He is kind of disconnected from his immediate family as well. [ other than one of his brothers.]

In contrast, ER has reached out to all of the children and been a very nurturing presence.

So I have a tendency to look at MR with some suspicion. Obviously I have no proof or evidence to support my position. But I do have some valid reasons for that position, and I thank AZGrandma for coming into the light and expressing herself.

 

[Confusion]

I did edit this, and hope I removed anything that shouldn't have been in it.

Well, I had an earlier post that disappeared along with the hoopla around azgrandma revealing post, but I wanted to take this opportunity to thank her for coming forward to answer some of the questions regarding MR.
I know there are a few posters here who will be upset at the prospect that MR isn't exactly what he appears to be. I'm sure there will be a lot of finger pointing at the fact that she is "just" an ex-wife. Considering it's been 23 years since they were divorced, my bet is that she isn't here with a vendetta, but the accusations will remain. I guess I just don't understand that. We are here to "sleuth" those who commit unspeakable acts on innocent victims. I understand that we protect all victims in every case and I'm supportive of this site for that very reason. But when the little "voice" starts talking to me; when the "voice" tells me "something isn't quite right with a person or something is definitely wrong with that person's explanation, I have to listen to the voice...even when the voice is pointing at someone who could otherwise be identified as one of the victims in the case.
I'm a firm believer that we all have that "voice". Some of us hear it louder than others. Some of us are old and have fine tuned that voice. The voice is our protection. We should all listen very carefully when the voice speaks. Because it may just be the one thing that saves your life someday. I actually don't like to hear the voice tell me that I suspect one of the victims...but the voice never lies to me.

The voice I hear says something different. It says that nobody should be condemned based on suspicions, gossip, grudges and imagination. I'm not old, but I have been around a bit longer than most people here. I've seen too many people help destroy someone else's reputation through gossip and speculation, only to find out they were totally wrong. At times like that, even the most heart felt apology won't restore the life they helped to destroy. In most cases the victim would be lucky to get an, "Oops, my bad. I didn't mean to tear your world apart." I personally haven't seen anyone singing his praises here, just wanting other options to be considered unless/until LE determines that he is a suspect. Not everybody looks at people or life in general, like I do and that's fine... as long as nobody insists that I change my way of looking at them. MOO

DYLAN is our victim.

According to the rules here, the "family" should also be considered to be victims unless LE names them as suspects or POIs.

I sincerely don't believe anyone was "moving on". I, for one, was merely watching, reading and not posting. It is draining to see all the MR praises when you don't see the same thing that others do. Posting becomes an argument in futility.

I don't know if anyone was moving on, but we were finally starting to have some discussions of possibilities that didn't involve MR doing anything.

<modsnip>

 

[vasportsmom]

We have heard from 2 ex-wives who describe him as abusive, and manipulative. He is somewhat estranged from his 3 older sons. He is kind of disconnected from his immediate family as well. [ other than one of his brothers.]

In contrast, ER has reached out to all of the children and been a very nurturing presence.

So I have a tendency to look at MR with some suspicion. Obviously I have no proof or evidence to support my position. But I do have some valid reasons for that position, and I thank AZGrandma for coming into the light and expressing herself.

Agreed. Children do not usually write their parents off for no good reason. I have a mother than can often be toxic but I still maintain a relationship with her because I know she loves me & my children despite her flaws. It says a lot that off all of Mark's children, one disappeared while in his care and the rest are not stepping up to defend him.


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[katydid23]

How do you get from crappy husband and crappy father to murderer??? That's what I want to know. How do we get there??

Is it ok for me to wait until LE arrests him and charges him with something before I jump on the "I hate Mark Redwine" bandwagon???

FTR: I never mentioned one thing about any of azgrandma's kids. Never sleuthed them, their names never came from my fingertips.

I just am not to the he murdered the kid yet. I got thrown a curve ball tonight like many people here did and I'm gonna have to think about this before I can get to that place. IMO

I don't think it is an " I Hate MR" bandwagon. That is unfair, imo. I think it is more of a ' I do not trust MR' bandwagon. And imo, hearing from two ex wives, that are both suspicious of his possible involvement says a lot about him. And I do not think it is just a he said/she said kind of a situation. Because his 3 older sons have also made a decision about him---which was to disconnect from him. That speaks volumes, imo. JMO

 

[Dee10]

Azgrandmother the last known siting of Dylan appears to be Walmart, is that your understanding? There has been concerns that maybe McDonald didn't have the video, etc. I am waiting to find confirmation that Dylan made it to MR's. Is there any confirmation of that (if you can say)?

 

[OtherEyes]

azgrandma...
Thank you for joining us! I admire you for telling us who you are and your insight into MR.
I am so sorry for what you and your children are going through with all of this. Please let them know that that there are those of us that truly sympathize for what they must be going through. Thank you for answering questions and helping us to understand a little more. We all want Dylan to be found.
I can't stop thinking of him and what has happened to him. I keep dreaming of him and just want him to be found soon!

 

[PaulR]

To address an earlier point that there is nobody here to speak for MR, that is simply because nobody has choose to step forward and do so. WS admin nor the posters here are denying them that opportunity or platform.

The fact that not a single person seems to be willing to do so says as much to me as what others are saying about him.

Maybe they are busy looking for Dylan?

 

[Seajay]

I have a grandkid who wrote me off because her father has filled her with lies about me. Absolute lies. I've loved her, supported her when he wouldn't give them any thing, food, clothing or a place to live. I took her on vacations and always made special time with her. He gets out of prison and tells her a bunch of stuff that isn't true, and voila`, I'm now persona non grata in her life. So to me, that means nothing. All that could mean is there is someone putting a bug in their ear. Not saying so in this case, but I know for a fact it happens because it happened to me.

 

[PaulR]

In contrast, ER has reached out to all of the children and been a very nurturing presence.

Don't forget lying on Nancy Grace on whether MR took the lie detector or not.

 

[demetra]

We have heard from 2 ex-wives who describe him as abusive, and manipulative. He is somewhat estranged from his 3 older sons. He is kind of disconnected from his immediate family as well. [ other than one of his brothers.]

In contrast, ER has reached out to all of the children and been a very nurturing presence.

So I have a tendency to look at MR with some suspicion. Obviously I have no proof or evidence to support my position. But I do have some valid reasons for that position, and I thank AZGrandma for coming into the light and expressing herself.

If MR is estranged from his 3 older sons and ex-wives we have heard that,but where was it said that he was disconnected from his immediate family? We haven't heard about anyone other than a brother but that doesn't mean his family is not supportive of him and that he is disconnected from them?

 

[FruitTingles]

Well I have been away most of today due to damn painful contractions. And it's also painful to check in here and see what seems to me is a lot of bickering


We may have a verified insider now who was married to MR, but I'm still up here on my fence and I will not accuse MR of anything until I have actual solid proof that he has had something to do with Dylan's disappearance. That is JMO! :twocents:


Also: Hi azgrandma, thanks for joining and giving us your side of the story. :seeya:

 

[vasportsmom]

Don't forget lying on Nancy Grace on whether MR took the lie detector or not.

I'm not agreeing that ER lied on Nancy Grace but that point of disagreement aside, what does her appearance on the show have to do with her being nurturing? We have seen nothing to suggest that isn't a wonderful mother & source of support to her children (steps included).


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[azgrandma]

Gosh dang it, I'm having so many pc troubles. If anyone can tell me how to get to recent and current threads, I would appreciate it.
I didn't see all the comments but I do want to be open to everyone.

I put myself out there tonight, I have everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain. It doesn't change my day one bit if you believe me or not, but ask yourself, why would I give you permission to look me up, to dig up the good/bad/ugly on myself, why would I give your my names if I had something to hide?

My whole entire point is to let you know that MR is not the calm, cool, collected person he shows you on tv. Look at his comments, thought out, rehearsed, condensending.

I have a couple of focuses here, find Dylan and this my primary focus. I spend hours upon hours reading everything I can hoping and waiting for something that might help us bring him home. My second focus is my children, they are innocent and they have children, they don't need to worry about people searching them on top of what they are currently going through. Thankfully the moderators requested that be stopped.

Earlier someone asked about him giving up the parental rights. That was a decision made by me, my husband at the time and my children. Mark accepted it. At that time my kids were going through some pretty intense counseling because of MR and dealings with him. It was an option I knew he would take so we offered it. I will add that to this day his attorney has not filed the paperwork with the courts to complete the process, the only part that was completed was the CSobligation was no longer there. My kids were never able to be adopted by the father that they know & love.

Abuse, yes it was there, more on me than on the kids. You have to keep in mind that an abused woman sees life in a light that others can't imagine, noone wants you, noone loves you, you are worthless, etc. etc. There is alienation from your family, so many different things work into the lifestyle, slowly and before you know it, it's a part of life and you don't realize it's wrong. I will say that when I left it was 100% for the safety and well being of my children, I wasn't strong but they made me strong.

Bash away if you would like. As I mentioned, I have nothing to gain. I have a wonderful and happy life. MR is my past and gladly kept there, it is this situation, Dylan missing, that has brought him to my present and I would give anything on Gods green earth to not have that.

Perhaps with some insight into who MR is/was then you can focus on important things like where Dylan is and how to bring him home. With blinders on, you only see down one road, now you have more roads to look at.

 

[PaulR]

I'm not agreeing that ER lied on Nancy Grace but that point of disagreement aside, what does her appearance on the show have to do with her being nurturing? We have seen nothing to suggest that isn't a wonderful mother & source of support to her children (steps included).

When your child is missing, it is very important to be truthful and not lie, certainly not to the press and the public who wants to help find Dylan.

As far as I know, ER hasn't apologized for her remarks and IMHO she should.

 

[OtherEyes]

Well I have been away most of today due to damn painful contractions. And it's also painful to check in here and see what seems to me is a lot of bickering


We may have a verified insider now who was married to MR, but I'm still up here on my fence and I will not accuse MR of anything until I have actual solid proof that he has had something to do with Dylan's disappearance. That is JMO! :twocents:


Also: Hi azgrandma, thanks for joining and giving us your side of the story. :seeya:

Hi FruitTingles!:seeya:
O/T
I think your "Little Miss" wants to be someone's Christmas present! My DD tried to come early every Friday for one month prior to her due date! Contractions definitely not fun but oh what a payoff in the end! Hang in there!:heart:

 

[aust amateur slueth]

azgrandma, thank you for joining and for sharing your history, I know that can't have been an easy thing to decide to do. I imagine that this is causing you a lot of heartache and fear. I had already wondered if you were who I now know you are, the azgrandma id and something about your posts made me think so. I had also seen your comments on facebook and knew that you and your children were connected with Elaine, that fact alone said a lot to me.

I have so many questions, but I'll save them for now because I think its already been a fairly emotional and overwhelming day for you.

Bless you for caring for Dylan enough to stand up and speak out

 

[vasportsmom]

When your child is missing, it is very important to be truthful and not lie, certainly not to the press and the public who wants to help find Dylan.

As far as I know, ER hasn't apologized for her remarks and IMHO she should.

There is a very distinct difference between lying and making unfortunate but true comments. I've always felt that ER would have been better advised to keep those early accusations out of the media but what's done is done and she has been more restrained since that time.


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[dlc]

Gosh dang it, I'm having so many pc troubles. If anyone can tell me how to get to recent and current threads, I would appreciate it.
I didn't see all the comments but I do want to be open to everyone.

I put myself out there tonight, I have everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain. It doesn't change my day one bit if you believe me or not, but ask yourself, why would I give you permission to look me up, to dig up the good/bad/ugly on myself, why would I give your my names if I had something to hide?

My whole entire point is to let you know that MR is not the calm, cool, collected person he shows you on tv. Look at his comments, thought out, rehearsed, condensending.

I have a couple of focuses here, find Dylan and this my primary focus. I spend hours upon hours reading everything I can hoping and waiting for something that might help us bring him home. My second focus is my children, they are innocent and they have children, they don't need to worry about people searching them on top of what they are currently going through. Thankfully the moderators requested that be stopped.

Earlier someone asked about him giving up the parental rights. That was a decision made by me, my husband at the time and my children. Mark accepted it. At that time my kids were going through some pretty intense counseling because of MR and dealings with him. It was an option I knew he would take so we offered it. I will add that to this day his attorney has not filed the paperwork with the courts to complete the process, the only part that was completed was the CSobligation was no longer there. My kids were never able to be adopted by the father that they know & love.

Abuse, yes it was there, more on me than on the kids. You have to keep in mind that an abused woman sees life in a light that others can't imagine, noone wants you, noone loves you, you are worthless, etc. etc. There is alienation from your family, so many different things work into the lifestyle, slowly and before you know it, it's a part of life and you don't realize it's wrong. I will say that when I left it was 100% for the safety and well being of my children, I wasn't strong but they made me strong.

Bash away if you would like. As I mentioned, I have nothing to gain. I have a wonderful and happy life. MR is my past and gladly kept there, it is this situation, Dylan missing, that has brought him to my present and I would give anything on Gods green earth to not have that.

Perhaps with some insight into who MR is/was then you can focus on important things like where Dylan is and how to bring him home. With blinders on, you only see down one road, now you have more roads to look at.

Dear Azgrandma,

I had a whole post written up, and was just about to hit send, when the thread got closed and I lost it.

So for now, I'll just say thank you for doing the right thing. I only hope I would have your courage if I were in your shoes.

Blessings to you and your family.