CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #16

[Cardinal47]

Ok here is my theory of what happened that fateful night!

MR was already angry because of the delay of one day getting there. He picked Dylan up at the airport and first thing Dylan wanted to do was go to his friends home.

Then MR was really mad. A few more beers in the truck and it was on...

Of course this is MOO

 

[Cardinal47]

I'm not sure what it is you are looking for, keep in mind I was married to him over 20 years ago, times were different. It was a time when the police did not have the authority to arrest, someone had to leave the premises. I could sit here all night and tell of incidences that happened, but it would not help out. Bottom line is that I want people to know that MR is a manipulator and dang good at it. It was driving me nuts hearing people say how caring he appeared to be.

Common sense tells you that none of us know what goes on behind closed doors, the wonderful family to the neighbors is not the wonderful family that is living it.

Profile what an abusive man does, hmmmm, alienate the partner from family (check) make the partner dependant (check) lower self esteem and worth of the partner (check) over emphasize your worth, devalue others, excuse wrong behavior, blame others, deflect fault, oh the list goes on.

There is something wrong with a person that never accepts responsibility for their actions, they did this because that person did that. Gosh if I could tell you how many times it was my fault that it snowed and the drive needed shoveling.

None of this will help bring Dylan back. I just want you all to have a clearer picture of who MR is, what MR is.

Biggest thing, why is it that his children that are old enough to make a decision, to have a choice, CHOOSE not to have contact with him?

Well they know him and are old enough to make that choice. Poor Dylan was not!

 

[TxJan1971]

AZGrandma, was Mark "physically" abusive to your two boys while growing up?

I'm trying to ascertain his ability to "harm" Dylan from someone who has intimate knowledge of what he is capable of and/or his history with his other children...

 

[vasportsmom]

AZGrandma, was Mark "physically" abusive to your two boys while growing up?

I'm trying to ascertain his ability to "harm" Dylan from someone who has intimate knowledge of what he is capable of and/or his history with his other children...

This is a great question. Could you tell us about some of his stressors that preceded abuse too?


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[Dee10]

Respectfully snipped by me

Did any of you wonder why it was that he never particpated in a search until AFTER the media was involved.

That triggered something I had posted yesterday or today :waitasec: & I took a better look. Actually, the day after the FBI became officially involved he made his first public appearance & did some media that day. Search later came. I just found that interesting.

[FONT=&quot]http://durangoherald.com/article/20...ws01/Timeline-of-events-in-Dylan-Redwine-case[/FONT]

 

[Abby Normal Again]

There are a lot of people here (ok, a few people) who just want to see the standard rules apply all around- victim friendly- until there is an evidenced based indication of guilt.

I do not feel like I can really speak anymore, because who can argue with an ex-wife saying their ex is a jerk? I believe he was. I just don't think we have evidence that he is a murderer. He's managed to get this far in life without being a murderer, and abusive men tend to mellow as they get older- not the opposite.

They did a top to bottom search and seem to be moving away from him, not toward him. Jerk or not, there is no real indication he is a murderer. I won't partake in public lynchings based on judgment of character and not judgment of facts.

But what is there to even say anymore?

 

[gngr~snap]

I'm not sure what it is you are looking for, keep in mind I was married to him over 20 years ago, times were different. It was a time when the police did not have the authority to arrest, someone had to leave the premises. I could sit here all night and tell of incidences that happened, but it would not help out. Bottom line is that I want people to know that MR is a manipulator and dang good at it. It was driving me nuts hearing people say how caring he appeared to be.

Common sense tells you that none of us know what goes on behind closed doors, the wonderful family to the neighbors is not the wonderful family that is living it.

Profile what an abusive man does, hmmmm, alienate the partner from family (check) make the partner dependant (check) lower self esteem and worth of the partner (check) over emphasize your worth, devalue others, excuse wrong behavior, blame others, deflect fault, oh the list goes on.

There is something wrong with a person that never accepts responsibility for their actions, they did this because that person did that. Gosh if I could tell you how many times it was my fault that it snowed and the drive needed shoveling.

None of this will help bring Dylan back. I just want you all to have a clearer picture of who MR is, what MR is.

Biggest thing, why is it that his children that are old enough to make a decision, to have a choice, CHOOSE not to have contact with him?

BIGGER THING to me... they do not let THEIR children know him!

Believe me I understand that one!

 

[StJohn]

Welcome, AZGrandma. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I join fellow websleuthers in commending you for having the courage to divorce MR & protect your children's safety. No doubt they are good parents because of the example you set for them. Makes me so sad to think poor Dylan may have come to harm at the hands of his own father...

 

[catswhiskers]

AZGrandma, was Mark "physically" abusive to your two boys while growing up?

I'm trying to ascertain his ability to "harm" Dylan from someone who has intimate knowledge of what he is capable of and/or his history with his other children...

Just bouncing off your post here TxJan1971
Thanks azgrandma. Again, I wasn't after specific incidents, and do understand the kind of abuse you refer to.
I grew up in a house with a father who drank heavily most nights of the week, and was occasionally a very mean, abusive drunk. My mum was usually on the receiving end, and sometimes (maybe a few times a year) he got physical. It was just often enough for me to live in fear that something would "happen" every single night. I lived at home until after I started work as a teacher in my early 20s, and honestly went to bed every night filled with dread. Then there were other times when he was a soft hearted loving dad, who couldn't understand why my mum treated him so coldly a lot of the time. Anyway it's a saga that goes on and on ... but I understand where you are coming from.
That said, I guess I was meaning if his behaviour was threatening enough to frighten you - enough for you to believe he would physically harm his own child - as TxJan1971 asked while I was busy tapping out my own drama above.

 

[Cardinal47]

There are a lot of people here (ok, a few people) who just want to see the standard rules apply all around- victim friendly- until there is an evidenced based indication of guilt.

I do not feel like I can really speak anymore, because who can argue with an ex-wife saying their ex is a jerk? I believe he was. I just don't think we have evidence that he is a murderer. He's managed to get this far in life without being a murderer, and abusive men tend to mellow as they get older- not the opposite.

They did a top to bottom search and seem to be moving away from him, not toward him. Jerk or not, there is no real indication he is a murderer. I won't partake in public lynchings based on judgment of character and not judgment of facts.

But what is there to even say anymore?

I respectfully disagree about older men mellowing. I know one that went to anger management at age 83! Per court order. He abused his wife for over 60 years!

 

[scorekeeper]

Poor Dylan, he didn't stand a chance. Elaine fought tooth and nail and now her precious baby is no where to be found. I am so sadden by what happened at the school in CT; how do we protect our children?

Elaine tried and tried; <modsnip>; she moved away but a court of law saw it differently for some reason.

Dylan, my heart is breaking for you......

Evil, purely evil.....

JMO/MOO

 

[Abby Normal Again]

I respectfully disagree about older men mellowing. I know one that went to anger management at age 83! Per court order. He abused his wife for over 60 years!

I said most, and I realize it is only a general statement, and not an all inclusive statement. Take it for what you will, but it's generally true.

Add that to having very little precedent for NCP murders without overt actions, and very little forensic evidence that we know of and you have me not willing to charge a man in a court of public opinion until more facts come in.

That's all. I'm not telling you what to believe. It's my opinion.

ETA- I do think it's funny that many of you eliminate stranger abductions based on how rare they are, statistically speaking. Yet when someone makes mention of something being "more likely" we are told we are wrong based on exceptions to the rule- personal experiences. So do we put any faith in statistics and probability or not?

Also- I've asked for someone to name a NCP that killed their teenager and stayed behind playing innocent, not being overt and flipping their lid. We can't think of many. Actually so far we can't think of any, but there are probably a few out there. So it's a statistically unlikely scenario as well, yet people are willing to believe it's possible and an abduction isn't. It's odd how we'll pick and choose when to listen to stats & probability to me.

I guess I just can't keep up... and my head hurts trying.

 

[NC Analyzer]

Well, I had an earlier post that disappeared along with the hoopla around azgrandma revealing post, but I wanted to take this opportunity to thank her for coming forward to answer some of the questions regarding MR.
I know there are a few posters here who will be upset at the prospect that MR isn't exactly what he appears to be. I'm sure there will be a lot of finger pointing at the fact that she is "just" an ex-wife. Considering it's been 23 years since they were divorced, my bet is that she isn't here with a vendetta, but the accusations will remain. I guess I just don't understand that. We are here to "sleuth" those who commit unspeakable acts on innocent victims. I understand that we protect all victims in every case and I'm supportive of this site for that very reason. But when the little "voice" starts talking to me; when the "voice" tells me "something isn't quite right with a person or something is definitely wrong with that person's explanation, I have to listen to the voice...even when the voice is pointing at someone who could otherwise be identified as one of the victims in the case.
I'm a firm believer that we all have that "voice". Some of us hear it louder than others. Some of us are old and have fine tuned that voice. The voice is our protection. We should all listen very carefully when the voice speaks. Because it may just be the one thing that saves your life someday. I actually don't like to hear the voice tell me that I suspect one of the victims...but the voice never lies to me.

 

[scorekeeper]

<modsnip>

Welcome and thank you for sharing your story. I am proud of you for sharing and I know, personally, how much courage it took. You have raised amazing kids.

Can you speak to whether MR has a drug and/or alcohol problem?

TIA

 

[tiredblondy]

There are a lot of people here (ok, a few people) who just want to see the standard rules apply all around- victim friendly- until there is an evidenced based indication of guilt.

I do not feel like I can really speak anymore, because who can argue with an ex-wife saying their ex is a jerk? I believe he was. I just don't think we have evidence that he is a murderer. He's managed to get this far in life without being a murderer, and abusive men tend to mellow as they get older- not the opposite.

They did a top to bottom search and seem to be moving away from him, not toward him. Jerk or not, there is no real indication he is a murderer. I won't partake in public lynchings based on judgment of character and not judgment of facts.

But what is there to even say anymore?

Excellent post Abbey. I agree and am still very content sitting on my :fence:

I cannot do this tonight. I will not change my mind about MR until and abduction is ruled out and I will not ask personal questions about him.

My relationship with my ex was completely different than his relationship with the woman he married after me. I'm not going there. There is no one here to speak for MR. Kinda one-sided to me, no offense to anyone intended.This is only my opinion.

My heart is broken tonight.I used to work in the school system. I've been through lock downs. I've knelt with children, protecting them by putting myself between them and the door. Just practicing brings a fear that it hard to explain.

20 babies are not coming home tonight or ever.
Their little bodies are still in that school.
Their parents will never hug or kiss them again ever!
They will never touch their beautiful little faces or hear their voices or laughter again.
They will never get to tuck them in, read them a bedtime story, hold them in their arms ever..

An evil I cannot imagine was unleashed on pure innocence today! Satan is alive and well in the world today.

I just can't be here now. I have to pray for those families,the survivors, LE,Emergency people, the forensic people and for this nation. God help us all!

 

[tiredblondy]

One more thing...I have know several men who have changed through the years. Personal experience

 

[Salem]

Locking up for a minutes while I get some ground rules established/re-established here. You guys are going off the rails and the train is headed for a major wreck.

Take a minute to breathe please.

Thanks,

Salem

 

[Salem]

WARNING:

Okay -

1. Do NOT make accusations

2. Do NOT bash or trash MR.

3. We have a verified poster that knows MR and Dylan's family. She may give us insight into the case and MR. But just like everyone else, she understands that the rules apply to her also.

4. Don't BICKER and fight. ALERT posts that cross the line. The mods have been online all day today, we are tired. We cannot read every post and some get by us if you don't alert them. AND if you chose to respond to a post that is against TOS, you will suffer the consequences. There is no "defending." Just alert and let the mods take care of it.

Salem

 

[Salem]

Okay - I'm gonna open this back up, but I just removed about a page worth of posts. Knock it off.

Let azgrandma speak her piece. Ask questions if you like and she can answer if she wants. NO SNARK, no back and forth bickering, no discussion of moderation. All of that is against TOS. If it continues, I'll help the poster step back for a bit, if you know what I mean.

The facts of this case indicate that MR may be involved. They are NOT solid facts and there are fact that indicate he may NOT be involved and they aren't solid facts either.

And, one more time for anyone who missed it - DO NOT ACCUSE, TRASH OR BASH MR.

If you have questions, concerns or issues, pm a mod and we will help.

Salem

 

[vasportsmom]

To address an earlier point that there is nobody here to speak for MR, that is simply because nobody has choose to step forward and do so. WS admin nor the posters here are denying them that opportunity or platform.

The fact that not a single person seems to be willing to do so says as much to me as what others are saying about him.


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