CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #45

[Emma Ems]

But why would, kids be googling Dylan's name anyway years from now?
ETA: I just have a hard time imagining some kid in college in 5 years deciding to look up his classmate on Google...and then reading through the 50,000+ posts on WS about the case to find out about his father....

Dylan is a public figure since his disappearance. I don't necessarily mean 5 years from now either. Let's just say he was found tomorrow. In a few months he returns to school, and some jerk that's just jealous of attention Dylan is getting or something reads up on Dylan's case, or even heard all the local gossip, remember it's not just Vallecito and Bayfield residents following but people in CO Springs and Monument, and wants to use what they have heard about this to bully Dylan. It may really be hard to think that far ahead, but that's what I am trying to convey is how this could affect him later on. The intentions, I do not believe, were to hurt Dylan, but it also doesn't seem that anyone has considered how this could cause further harm to Dylan. In this case it wouldn't be his dad doing the harming, but his brother and now his mother because they were the one who made it public knowledge. We were completely unaware of them until Cory mentioned them on DP then certain FB pages ran with them. Then Elaine come on here and discussed them.

I am sorry, I will have to come back to this later. The weather outside is frightful and I need to keep an eye on the weather.

 

[ColdHands]

I asked this before and no one responded so I'll ask it again since we are speculating on Dylan's future, hoping that he has a future. And Elaine said on the show again that she is still holding on to that hope. And CR said on Dr Phil that he thinks it is possible Mark is hiding him. Yes, they see reality too, but as long as there is that hope, Dylan's safety has to be considered. IMO

CR: I think Mark has something to do with it. I think he’s either got him hidden out or done something and disposed…I think… I strongly think that he’s involved.

Dr Phil Day 2 transcript

If Dylan is alive, is this a safe tactic to use? Is pressuring a mentally deteriorating, alcohol abusing, angry person who has your child captive the right tactic?

 

[song22]

Again I point to this, that if they are wrong then what. This kinda goes along with what I said about allowing anger to rule. You do things, or say things later that you come to regret. If at the end of the day we were to find out Mark had nothing to do with this and all of these things were said and done what then? How will they affect Dylan if and when he comes home? The peacemaker of the family...

If he and his dad were big buddies like his friends said, and he does love his father, how would all this make him feel? Do you think it would be possible that Dylan would feel like some of this were his fault. He is described as being a self-less kid, and usually people who are self-less can't help but feel responsible even when they shouldn't. I do want to stress this, I am in no way saying Dylan is responsible because I know some people will try to twist that, but that from what I get from the descriptions of his personality is that it's very possible that he may feel partly responsible for this. He may put aside his own trauma and look at others' trauma around him.

I totally understand what you mean. I have actually said this in another forum defending a family member. So I truly do get the concept of this possibility of being wrong about the accusation. But in this case two family members absolutely are convinced that MR had something to do with it. That means a lot to me.

If they are wrong and Dylan comes home alive--He's ALIVE! Anything else can be dealt with. They can go to counseling about the blame and guilt and fetish stuff. they can work it out because he's alive!

If they are wrong and Dylan was killed by a stranger. Well, I believe 100% MR should do some self-reflection and try to understand why so very many people thought he could have killed his son. HE should go to counseling and deal with himself and his many issues. He has a chance to rebuild his life and find redemption.

If they are right, though, they must do everything to shout it from the rooftops and let the world know. If you really think someone is a killer, you try to get everyone to listen. If you feel so certain and you don't do everything you can, how could you live with yourself?

Don't you see? Dylan being killed far outweighs everything else! Finding Dylan far outweighs everything else, including someone's reputation or Dylan's possible future embarrassment.

 

[cluciano63]

I asked this before and no one responded so I'll ask it again since we are speculating on Dylan's future, hoping that he has a future. And Elaine said on the show again that she is still holding on to that hope. And CR said on Dr Phil that he thinks it is possible Mark is hiding him. Yes, they see reality too, but as long as there is that hope, Dylan's safety has to be considered. IMO
Dr Phil Day 2 transcript

If Dylan is alive, is this a safe tactic to use? Is pressuring a mentally deteriorating, alcohol abusing, angry person who has your child captive the right tactic?

CR is an emotional brother of a missing child, not a shrink. He says what he feels. ER is the mom and should be able to say whatever she feels, in my opinion.

 

[Bayou Mistress]

What would have happend?
Had MR said to Elaine (instead of Mrs Redwine) Elaine Im sorry this all has happend
lets start fresh and find our son, I promise you I had nothing at all to do with this he was just gone when I got home.
Heck at least try!

Agreed! Or if Elaine said, Mark, I don't understand. Tell me again what happened? I miss our son and I'm scared to death.

 

[song22]

I asked this before and no one responded so I'll ask it again since we are speculating on Dylan's future, hoping that he has a future. And Elaine said on the show again that she is still holding on to that hope. And CR said on Dr Phil that he thinks it is possible Mark is hiding him. Yes, they see reality too, but as long as there is that hope, Dylan's safety has to be considered. IMO
Dr Phil Day 2 transcript

If Dylan is alive, is this a safe tactic to use? Is pressuring a mentally deteriorating, alcohol abusing, angry person who has your child captive the right tactic?

You know, I really don't know. This question reminds me of how it used to be in a hostage situation LE advised people to comply, but now they say fight back. I bet you could get advice either way.

For a while, nothing was happening. MR was sitting in his cabin doing nothing and not cooperating. ER and CR put on the pressure--and I actually did hear through rumor that it was a suggestion given to them by someone else--who knows, maybe it was a former LE person who suggested putting on the pressure? That just speculation on my part. But I think it may be working to help bring JUSTICE to Dylan. I don't believe he's alive. I understand the family wanting to stay positive and cling to hope, but I think in their hearts they do know the statistics and the odds.

What is their alternative at this point? You could be right that their strategy will backfire, but I think they have probably thought it all through and are doing what they think has the best chance of working. JMO

 

[SCHMAE]

I asked this before and no one responded so I'll ask it again since we are speculating on Dylan's future, hoping that he has a future. And Elaine said on the show again that she is still holding on to that hope. And CR said on Dr Phil that he thinks it is possible Mark is hiding him. Yes, they see reality too, but as long as there is that hope, Dylan's safety has to be considered. IMO
Dr Phil Day 2 transcript

If Dylan is alive, is this a safe tactic to use? Is pressuring a mentally deteriorating, alcohol abusing, angry person who has your child captive the right tactic?

My only response to that is I don't know but not pressuring him did NOT work. Also it's possible if ER has just seen this deterioration the last little bit but not in its full glory until the last 4 months that she was not aware until very recently how sick he has become. :moo:

 

[Eileen730]

What if Dylan in his anger called him a perv?

 

[SCHMAE]

SO! I just had a thought that I'm not a bit happy about . Could MR's little stunts on the Phil show be an act in preparation for an insanity defense? I would say if one looks at that show, and now couples with his fetish stuff, a good lawyer could probably fairly easy put all that together into a nice package for that defense. Thoughts?

Remember the part of the phil show when MR throws his hands up and says ' i cant handle this' or ' this is too much' and many of us commented on how fake and theatrical and drama queen-esque it sounded?
OH BOY !

 

[Emma Ems]

I totally understand what you mean. I have actually said this in another forum defending a family member. So I truly do get the concept of this possibility of being wrong about the accusation. But in this case two family members absolutely are convinced that R had something to do with it. That means a lot to me.

If they are wrong and Dylan comes home alive--He's ALIVE! Anything else can be dealt with. They can go to counseling about the blame and guilt and fetish stuff. they can work it out because he's alive!

If they are wrong and Dylan was killed by a stranger. Well, I believe 100% MR should do some self-reflection and try to understand why so very many people thought he could have killed his son. HE should go to counseling and deal with himself and his many issues. He has a chance to rebuild his life and find redemption.

If they are right, though, they must do everything to shout it from the rooftops and let the world know. If you really think someone is a killer, you try to get everyone to listen. If you feel so certain and you don't do everything you can, how could you live with yourself?

Don't you see? Dylan being killed far outweighs everything else! Finding Dylan far outweighs everything else, including someone's reputation or Dylan's possible future embarrassment.

Can't really keep up with the weather with the dish being out, so.

This is how I feel. I don't personally know Elaine or Mark. They can both tell me about their divorce and what the did or didn't fight about or how their kid felt, etc. The thing is I have to consider this, that neither of them are accurate about this. I will tell you this, the same way I consider with ER, I also consider this, if CR was on MR side of the fence right now I would have two conclusions: One that either she is a terrible mother or two that there could be some form of parental alienation going on that we may know nothing of. Which is the same way I am looking at it now but with Mark. I like to air on the side of caution when it comes to "family" disputes. In reality thus far we have only heard one side of the story in regards to this, I felt that a lot of times when Mark tried to answer stuff on DP that he wasn't even given the floor to answer, that people were telling him what everything was from their own questions. Outside of that MR refuses to bash his wife or talk about her or their past problems. I feel we have only half a picture here.

 

[cluciano63]

Agreed! Or if Elaine said, Mark, I don't understand. Tell me again what happened? I miss our son and I'm scared to death.

There was no "again" for him to tell her, he had not even spoken to her prior to the show.

 

[cluciano63]

SO! I just had a thought that I'm not a bit happy about . Could MR's little stunts on the Phil show be an act in preparation for an insanity defense? I would say if one looks at that show, and now couples with his fetish stuff, a good lawyer could probably fairly easy put all that together into a nice package for that defense. Thoughts?

Remember the part of the phil show when MR throws his hands up and says ' i cant handle this' or ' this is too much' and many of us commented on how fake and theatrical and drama queen-esque it sounded?
OH BOY !

I honestly cannot see there ever being a trial, or a case made. This is one of those cases that seems likely to go the way of too many others, when a parent cannot be eliminated or prosecuted. I do not see MR or anyone else ever confessing. I think we are in the mode now that we will be in a year from now. JMO

 

[Eileen730]

Again I point to this, that if they are wrong then what. This kinda goes along with what I said about allowing anger to rule. You do things, or say things later that you come to regret. If at the end of the day we were to find out Mark had nothing to do with this and all of these things were said and done what then? How will they affect Dylan if and when he comes home? The peacemaker of the family...

If he and his dad were big buddies like his friends said, and he does love his father, how would all this make him feel? Do you think it would be possible that Dylan would feel like some of this were his fault. He is described as being a self-less kid, and usually people who are self-less can't help but feel responsible even when they shouldn't. I do want to stress this, I am in no way saying Dylan is responsible because I know some people will try to twist that, but that from what I get from the descriptions of his personality is that it's very possible that he may feel partly responsible for this. He may put aside his own trauma and look at others' trauma around him.

Well the love of your life is missing your son and your ex husband wont talk to you nor be honest with LE so I think Anger is justified. Hes lucky Im not his ex wife. I think Elaine has been pretty darn good about it way better then I would handle it!

He has done NOTHING to find his son!
Nada Zip!

His personality has nothing t do with it!
He saw some very gross horrible pics of his father.
Do you think he still respects this man? No way!
Id love to know when the last time he spoke to him since september!
If he did at all?

 

[Emma Ems]

There was no "again" for him to tell her, he had not even spoken to her prior to the show.

Both of them had the opportunity to do that on DP show. Either could have taken that step, but neither did.

 

[song22]

Can't really keep up with the weather with the dish being out, so.

This is how I feel. I don't personally know Elaine or Mark. They can both tell me about their divorce and what the did or didn't fight about or how their kid felt, etc. The thing is I have to consider this, that neither of them are accurate about this. I will tell you this, the same way I consider with ER, I also consider this, if CR was on MR side of the fence right now I would have two conclusions: One that either she is a terrible mother or two that there could be some form of parental alienation going on that we may know nothing of. Which is the same way I am looking at it now but with Mark. I like to air on the side of caution when it comes to "family" disputes. In reality thus far we have only heard one side of the story in regards to this, I felt that a lot of times when Mark tried to answer stuff on DP that he wasn't even given the floor to answer, that people were telling him what everything was from their own questions. Outside of that MR refuses to bash his wife or talk about her or their past problems. I feel we have only half a picture here.

So, the opinion of family could be explained by alienation. But then there is also the matter of the photographs, which MR has not denied. They have to be explained as just a harmless fetish, or maybe that MR is a freak but not a murderer. So, then you have him failing a LDT and not taking another, but that's explained by him being nervous about the fetish or being bullied by his angry family. So then you have his changing stories and his rambling way of talking and his many deflections. But then it's explained by him being just kind of bumbling and rambling and uneducated. So then you have a history of domestic abuse with his ex-wife, but that's excused as not really DV or irrelevant to the case or just a case of he said-she said, even thought we have a verified insider who confirms it and court records. And then you have three incidents of him not returning the children, but that's just excused as exaggeration. The list just goes on and on.

The very first thing I saw in regards to this case was the uncut video interview with MR. I knew NOTHING about the case at all. I heard MR constantly making disparaging comments about his wife and immediately thought, I think he killed his son. That's why I started following this thread.

You is in general. JMO. etc.

 

[Eileen730]

There was no "again" for him to tell her, he had not even spoken to her prior to the show.

they had not spoken in 3 years!

 

[Bayou Mistress]

SO! I just had a thought that I'm not a bit happy about . Could MR's little stunts on the Phil show be an act in preparation for an insanity defense? I would say if one looks at that show, and now couples with his fetish stuff, a good lawyer could probably fairly easy put all that together into a nice package for that defense. Thoughts?

Remember the part of the phil show when MR throws his hands up and says ' i cant handle this' or ' this is too much' and many of us commented on how fake and theatrical and drama queen-esque it sounded?
OH BOY !

I don't think that would work. I never once thought he appeared insane or anything like it. I've said it before, but fetishes are not diagnosed as a mental illness unless it's interfering with life or harms another. (Harm is not someone's knowledge of the fetish from a diagnostic point of view).

 

[Redhead72]

I honestly cannot see there ever being a trial, or a case made. This is one of those cases that seems likely to go the way of too many others, when a parent cannot be eliminated or prosecuted. I do not see MR or anyone else ever confessing. I think we are in the mode now that we will be in a year from now. JMO

I really hope and pray that is not the case... We (in general) still have some very good chances still upcoming that may give LE the answers they seek. Most importantly, the lake search. IMO, that is what everyone has been waiting for all winter - perhaps even including MR...

 

[Emma Ems]

Well the love of your life is missing your son and your ex husband wont talk to you nor be honest with LE so I think Anger is justified. Hes lucky Im not his ex wife. I think Elaine has been pretty darn good about it way better then I would handle it!

He has done NOTHING to find his son!
Nada Zip!

His personality has nothing t do with it!
He saw some very gross horrible pics of his father.
Do you think he still respects this man? No way!
Id love to know when the last time he spoke to him since september!
If he did at all?

LE has stated he has been cooperative. If he has not been cooperative would they say he has been? Also, how do we know what he is doing? We know he isn't doing anything with Elaine to help find Dylan but not that he isn't doing anything on his own.

Also, how much of this anger has prevented Mark from being out in the public eye helping in the search for Dylan? Many people have said that Mark isn't doing anything, but I have seen interviews, I have seen where he has talked to reporters, maybe not for an exclusive interview but to answer their questions.

And a reminder too is she is not the only parent missing a child. Mark may very well be missing his child very much too. I won't presume to know what either of them are really feeling deep down. I will at least consider and give the benefit of the doubt they are both missing Dylan very much and they both want him home.

I am a mother, but I would never presume to believe that a mother's love is ever deeper than a father's love or vice versa. Both mothers and fathers love their children.

 

[Eileen730]

I would agree with you . However I would say he did more damage with his stumbling, bumbling, hangover instead of POLY act on Dr Phil that would be equally damaging to home life, love life and career..... or at least as much.
Poor dude can't buy a break ..............from himself

True that but I was talking motive!
Why someone would to want silence someone from telling what they knew .