I didn't know exactly what post to reply to so I'll just post this separately. I know we're trying to stay more on stories in the news and not so much personal ones, but I just had to share this. I too have a friend whose step-son is very frightening. It's what prompted my earlier response to the original "what would you do?" question, which was "run like he** and feel guilty."
When I first read about ARS this boy came to mind immediately. I knew him even before I knew his stepmom, and I remember when he was born and his bio-Mom would be breastfeeding him he'd be fine, then freak out and bite her hard. When he got old enough to laugh he thought it was hysterical when he bit her hard enough to make her cry. He'd laugh and laugh, then try to eat again. There is some speculation this boy's bio-Mom was on drugs during some or all of her pregnancy (drugs are also part of why bio-Dad left). Maybe he never had a chance, if his brain was messed up before he was even born?
My friend, boy's stepmom since he was young, has worked very hard through the schools to get him help, counselors, tried to get him into activities and such, and she's still trying, but they've found nothing that helps. He gets asked to leave sports teams pretty quickly after the other kids become afraid.
Her husband/his bio-Dad FINALLY acknowledged something was wrong when the kid started walking around mumbling "die, die, die" under his breath. I think that started around age 8, which was only a couple of years after he started talking. Most of the time he keeps to himself but if something catches his attention it's beyond scary. On a short trip with them (which was our last unless the stepson isn't there) he got fixated on one of my dogs. I barely slept, and we came home early. The boy kept glaring at the dog muttering "evil, die." He only physically came after the dog once, with a rock and a stick, and even though I put the dog behind me I had no doubt he'd go through me to get to the dog if he had to. I'm almost positive the boy had waited til he thought it was just me and the dog, that no one was watching him - he was very surprised when my husband stopped him. My husband had been nervous about him too and watching closely, thank goodness.
I don't know ARS. I don't know how he grew up, or was treated, or anything like that, but the kid I mentioned above is the first one I've ever met that convinced me sometimes there is darn near nothing you can do. It breaks my heart, and I consider the boy I described as some type of victim too, but it also breaks my heart wondering if some innocent person is going to end up being a victim of his in the future. What do you do? Lock him up "just in case"? I feel for ARS' Mom and family members. IMO they probably knew something wasn't right and maybe even tried to get help, but ran out of options before he locked in on what he ended up doing (allegedly).
All MOO and personal experience.