I may be giving them way too much benefit of the doubt but I just don't feel safe concluding they /wanted/ or expected to hurt Cece with the peanuts. I see it as a more older generation stubbornly dismissing all the “newfangled allergies”. I'm willing to admit Cindy may have been way more sinister about it but honestly when I read the history between them and Shanann I can see how compared to their seemingly quiet and mellow son (and yes he had something going on under the surface I'm not saying he was just a quiet mellow guy) Shanann could have seemed a bit intense and particular.
I've wondered what the cross contamination at the engagement party actually entailed. I honestly can see how from their viewpoint she was blowing up on them and calling them evil when they weren't intending malice (though maybe they were and I'm way off?).
I do agree though, damn, they barely got to see their grandkids even if they absolutely think it's foolish and she was out there with her food demands just do what you can to make peace. It's not how I would have done things. I just think it's tragic for /everyone/ and don't feel good about ripping apart one set of grieving grandparents. Though I may very well be giving them too much credit because the whole case is mind boggling to me.