have you seen the discovery? have you listened to her police interviews?
this is no way takes any responsibility away from men, CW in particular. To be able to do what he did is fully within his own pathology and no ordinary man would be conned into killing his family regardless of female or sexual influence. BUT, he may not have made the choice to kill them when he did if he had not had the (sexual) motivation. I also believe there may have been pressure to get rid of the wife and kids by NK in order for CW to be with her.
NK knew CW was married to SW, proven in emails from early June 2018, allegedly prior to sexual contact. She stated to CW in an early email in June 2018 that she wanted "a beautiful life like what he had made with his wife and cute little kids". I mean, you can't spell it out any more clearly that she wanted what SW had and was apparently willing to do whatever necessary to manipulate things to her liking.
She googled SW as early as Sept 2017 and spent hours googling her after that. She googled wedding dresses for 2 hours the week before the murders took place. CW went to dinner with NK the night before the murders. NK and CW talked on the phone and Facetimed for HOURS on the night of the murders (Monday-Tuesday night). NK made comments that he was a "package deal". That the kids were in the way. That he wouldn't introduce her to the kids (which I think made her livid). In the hours after the murders and he had to wash them. CW sent NK a text the morning after the murders stating his family are gone (just as she wished). NK googled "can cops trace text messages" and "how much money did Amber Frey get/was she worth and did people hate her".
NK deleted all her phone info about CW. She lied to police all along the way about what she knew and how long the affair went on for.
This is all from the discovery docs and her interviews, all online. This is not normal behavior. CW is fully guilty and no healthy, normal man can do that to his family under any circumstances. He is a psychopath. AND, NK has her own special form of personality aberrances that may have encouraged him and even made him feel validated and accepted in his own fantasies of wiping out his family. Without this combination of pathologies, SW and the kids may not have been killed, at least at this time or in this way.
in the hours after the murders CW told NK that his girls' sheets smelled bad and he had to wash them