I don't know what to say. I can't even ask God for words, because frankly, at the moment I have very little to say to Him. Why? Jealousy, mental illness, wanted to be famous, what?
I can't imagine. I don't want to. I have a kindergarten student. He's 5. He has a Christmas play in 4 days. His class is doing all the usual stuff: making cut out paper snowflakes, and learned every Christmas carol known to man and all the slightly dirty variations from the other kids, and tearing off the rings on the paper chain that every kindergarten class since their invention has used to mark off the days left until Christmas. He came home today. 20 other kids, at least, didn't. I can't force myself to register that.
Ashley Banfield was crying a couple minutes ago on CNN. I was fine until I flipped to HLN and saw the sign out front: Sandy Hook School: Visitors Welcome. Something has to come of this, something good and decisive. You can't get into an airport without 27 forms of ID and a full body scan, but anyone can walk into a children's school and slaughter them with no one being any the wiser until it's too late? Unacceptable.
No copycats this time. Every time there is a shooting in a school, it seems there is at least one more soon after. Please, not this time. It's bad enough now.