Crystal S., Haleigh's mother #3

[CHICANA]

Bolded by me

I beg to differ. Any responsible adult can control their own fiscal security. You create your own state of affairs.

You can't control layoffs. If you lose your job and have to find one that pays much less that would take a major hit on finances. A friend of mine was a CPA and working at a company that had some really high-end clients.
She was making great money and had everything she wanted. Then the birth control didn't work and she had a child born with major and permanent disabilities and deformities. She quit her job to devote all her time to him. Her husband works and it's enough to get by but there's no money for savings.
I think she did the right thing, family is more important than money.
I suppose there are those who are blessed enough to never experience any financial hardships, I personally have had my ups & downs.When I was Crystal's age I was broke.

What do you do if you lose your job and can't find another ?

 

[CHICANA]

In comparision?
Lets compare here for a moment :angel:
By the way I hate to do this but we have to I guess to see the truth.
Ron has gone to work to suport his children. Has crystal?
It is BOTH parent's responsibility to provide. No excuses.
Ron seems to take his children to necasary DR. appointments and to seek ER care when needed. Did Crystal?
Ron seems to adore his children (obvious from all pictures I have seen and others comments including Crystals. Crystal has had these children before this new baby but it has been stated that when all this began she had few pics of Haleigh and Jr. on her my space page and MANY of new baby. The comment to refer to her children as BRATS is offensive to me. She is inconsistant with her actions and words in this area.
As far as who Ron has chosen to date and marry in comparison to Step brother with all that history is a little more concerning to me than this nieve 17 yo. I have to ask for a little common sence here in regards to who lost this child. It is a abduction. That means taken not lost. We can disagree on this because frankly I don't see how arguing is going to help.

Facts.
It is not a fact that Ron took them to all their doctor appts. We don't know.
The number of pictures you have doesn't indicate how much you love your children. Plus she might not have had a dig camera when Rj & Haleigh were little. We don't know.
When she said and the other brats, it sounds to me like she was including Chloe in that statement.
I've jokingly called my kids brats before but I've never hit them with a stick hard enough to bruise them.
Chad's record isn't as extensive as Ron's.
If Crystal is behind $4000, that means she paid support for a couple years and we don't know if she hasn't paid for a year straight or if she missed or was short a month here or there. Based on arrearage, she has paid.
Really it doesn't matter as much who as when Ron chose to marry.

Fact- the kids were in Ron's custody when Haleigh disappeared. I don't know what mother wouldn't worry about her other child remaining with R and M.

 

[CHICANA]

Honestly I cannot fathom how RC getting a tattoo says anything about him other than he likes tattoo's and his daughter. If CS had gotten a tat of Haleigh, or anything would you see it the same way? Just askin.

Yes I would see it the same way. It's the timing. How long was she gone then 2 weeks ? I could not sit still long enough to get a tattoo if I didn't know where my child was.

 

[stilettos]

BOLDED BY ME
As I said before we do have alot in common CHICANA. (VIOLENT abuse) MOO is your experiance with the legal system has shaded your opinion on anyone getting justice. Lying is not the truth. How can someone like someone across a court room in such a short amount of time, especialy in concern of a childs welfare? IMOO this is a bias statement on your experiance and doesn't support the facts. SORRY:truce: If crystals goal was to get custody of her children the first step would be to remain current with support payments. Work on the relationship with the other parent to encourage a healthy enviroment for the chldren. It seems to me that the true way she would of won custody was not taken. No consistancy in her attempts to do the right thing for the benifit of her children. I only point this out because we are here today examining the previous actions of these individuals to determine there ability to care for these children.

Lying about anything to obtain custody of your children is out and out wrong. However, if Crystal believes that abuse is happening in the home, I would advocate using any and every means possible to reveal the conditions the child is under. Her attorney is advising her and if she is worth her salt, she wouldn't advise her to go to the media unless she has something to back it up. Just from what I see on the outside I am with the attorney. I wouldn't let my children watch on TV the things that go on in that family. If Crystal's enviornment is no better after investigation, i wouldn't advocate placement there either. To say that anyone who has experience with the court system cannot be objective is in error in my opinion. Many people can and do use their own experiences to help others navigate the real conditions in the Family Court system. Having experience in family court and being objective about it is possible.

 

[CHICANA]

Lying about anything to obtain custody of your children is out and out wrong. However, if Crystal believes that abuse is happening in the home, I would advocate using any and every means possible to reveal the conditions the child is under. Her attorney is advising her and if she is worth her salt, she wouldn't advise her to go to the media unless she has something to back it up. Just from what I see on the outside I am with the attorney. I wouldn't let my children watch on TV the things that go on in that family. If Crystal's enviornment is no better after investigation, i wouldn't advocate placement there either. To say that anyone who has experience with the court system cannot be objective is in error in my opinion. Many people can and do use their own experiences to help others navigate the real conditions in the Family Court system. Having experience in family court and being objective about it is possible.

I agree with almost everything. If Crystal has not abused her children and Ron has, I think she should have custody. I'm not for taking a child from their biological family absent risk of physical abuse. Not everbody has the perfect family, but in most cases, even if your mom is a b#!# you know she loves you more than anybody and is likely the only one who would give her life for yours.
You shouldn't have to be a perfect parent to keep your kids.

 

[texasmommy39]

<respectfully bolded>

There's no doubt that Crystal owes child support and from records we know the amount. That part is all laid out clearly for us. And I'm not taking up for Crystal on that matter. But I have to disagree that Ron has taken care of all of his responsibilities as a parent. There is a good possibility he has not:

[B]"Croslin said she met Cummings about six months ago when she was baby-sitting for a woman who had a child with Cummings.[/B]Croslin said she was concerned the baby boy was not being cared for properly.
"[B]I told him you need to get your son before something bad happens to him[/B]," she said. Croslin said the two started talking. She was 16 at the time"

I see no indication that Ron has even filed for paternity of this child. That would be the first step in caring for this baby boy. What has happened to this child and does Ronald care?

http://www.jacksonville.com/news/metro/crime/2009-02-16/story/search_for_haleigh_scales_back

These statements indicate to me along with obvious actions of Ron is that Misty was not afraid to tell Ron of her concerns as a babysitter (inside knowledge) of the care given to his son by this mother. His actions of not seeking paternity tells me he is not spiteful and do we not need to speculate the mothers motives for not pursuing child support to establish said paternity. Misty's ability to show concern for this child that is his probably gave him a little piece of mind to consider her to babysit the children that were in his custody. If we had the opportunity to meet these three women with out all of our informed opinions what would your first impressions be? Looks, mannerisms, tone of voice, would be good indicators of personality. I will leave this there. FOOD FOR THOUGHT. IMOO

 

[Donjeta]

No, CA didn't get a tattoo but she did many other things that one wouldn't expect a heartsick mother of a missing child to do.

Just imagine roles reversed. A 25-year old single mother has gotten custody of her children after refusing to return them to the custodial parent. She lives in a mobile home, works nights to support her children, barely sees them awake. She has a 16-17 year old boyfriend taking care of the children 24/7. She has a history of drug arrests and there are rumours that the boyfriend is keeping some interesting company. One of her children disappears, while the toyboy is supposed to be babysitting them. He may or may not have been there and is unable to explain the events of the night in consistent detail. LE calls him the key. She is devastated but never so devastated that a new tattoo wouldn't be great. There are allegations of child abuse but she brushes them off. She supplies some answers for him and appears to go along with his changing stories. A few weeks into the investigation, when he's been to 3 LDTs and been questioned for hours and hours without result she marries him, allegedly because the missing child would have wanted him as her father. She and the new Mr. appear on Today Show. When asked to explain why he's had trouble answering questions there's a long uncomfortable pause and he finally answers "I don't know." LE says he hasn't been cleared as a suspect.

If you were her ex, would you let her keep the custody of the rest of your children or would you fight?

 

[Donjeta]

His actions of not seeking paternity tells me he is not spiteful

Does it work in reverse? He sought paternity and custody of Haleigh and JR. Does that then tell us that he used to be spiteful then?

 

[Annie]

Check this out if you haven't today. It has been completed and has beautiful pictures of Haleigh and Crystal.

http://www.haleighbug.com/

 

[texasmommy39]

Lying about anything to obtain custody of your children is out and out wrong. However, if Crystal believes that abuse is happening in the home, I would advocate using any and every means possible to reveal the conditions the child is under. Her attorney is advising her and if she is worth her salt, she wouldn't advise her to go to the media unless she has something to back it up. Just from what I see on the outside I am with the attorney. I wouldn't let my children watch on TV the things that go on in that family. If Crystal's enviornment is no better after investigation, i wouldn't advocate placement there either. To say that anyone who has experience with the court system cannot be objective is in error in my opinion. Many people can and do use their own experiences to help others navigate the real conditions in the Family Court system. Having experience in family court and being objective about it is possible.

I only have problems with these two things.
1. Using any and every means possible under these circumstances was not legally necessary. It has hurt more than offered answers in my opinion. Maybe that was the intent. What person would want the whole wide world to be judge and jury if it was not legally going to give you custody of your children?
2.Using ones own experiences to guide others should be done on a professional level but one can share one's experiences to enlighten the individual of the potential oversights on these issues in the Family Court System. I feel to state that it is on a whole it is corrupt is a disservice to the system that does work for many.

 

[texasmommy39]

Does it work in reverse? He sought paternity and custody of Haleigh and JR. Does that then tell us that he used to be spiteful then?

It indicates Ron felt at the time he needed to get custody of Haleigh and Jr..
Crystal admits doing cocaine while pregnant, this is not a try during pregnancy kind of drug it is a habitual habit at this point and is sometimes in need of intervention. Jr. was 6mo. when Ron took Jr. and Haleigh. What do you really think the reason was Ron took the children? My knowledge leads me to believe those that don't want to quite doing drugs while pregnant are in need of someone else caring for the child after delivery. In Florida the Laws could suggest his motive for his actions the day he picked up the children and there after. I also have to wonder how aware was MG to Crystals use and was she living in her home at the time? do we know why Ron left her? do we know when? I find this not to hard to understand. I didn't say agree with. But I firmly feel that Ron has demonstrated repeatedly his ability to address ASAP his concerns in regards to the children. Saying that I find no fault under the possible circumstances.

 

[stilettos]

I only have problems with these two things.
1. Using any and every means possible under these circumstances was not legally necessary. It has hurt more than offered answers in my opinion. Maybe that was the intent. What person would want the whole wide world to be judge and jury if it was not legally going to give you custody of your children?
2.Using ones own experiences to guide others should be done on a professional level but one can share one's experiences to enlighten the individual of the potential oversights on these issues in the Family Court System. I feel to state that it is on a whole it is corrupt is a disservice to the system that does work for many.

I am not saying that the system is corrupt. The system protected me and helped to save my life. There is good and bad in the system. Those with experience can assist others in what to expect and what not to do. I work for the system in Court cases regarding children. I use and share my experiences often to assist in those cases it is applicable. I am encouraged to do so by my employer.

In any abuse concern, my advice is to raise the alarm any way you can until you see results. That would be for valid concerns with cause. Yes, there are false accusers. The experts are aware of this and experienced in dealing with it.

I think that we agree on many more issues than not.

 

[stilettos]

I agree with almost everything. If Crystal has not abused her children and Ron has, I think she should have custody. I'm not for taking a child from their biological family absent risk of physical abuse. Not everbody has the perfect family, but in most cases, even if your mom is a b#!# you know she loves you more than anybody and is likely the only one who would give her life for yours.
You shouldn't have to be a perfect parent to keep your kids.

I agree, with the proviso that a home study is done and drug testing of all parties in the home. If there is no continued drug use and the home is a safe and nourishing place, yes the child should be with the parent most fit. Sometimes though, the lesser of two evils is still evil.

 

[texasmommy39]

I am not saying that the system is corrupt. The system protected me and helped to save my life. There is good and bad in the system. Those with experience can assist others in what to expect and what not to do. I work for the system in Court cases regarding children. I use and share my experiences often to assist in those cases it is applicable. I am encouraged to do so by my employer.

In any abuse concern, my advice is to raise the alarm any way you can until you see results. That would be for valid concerns with cause. Yes, there are false accusers. The experts are aware of this and experienced in dealing with it.

I think that we agree on many more issues than not.

Just want you to know I value your professional opinions. That is why I am here. I have to admit I have done thing to extreme measures to get my children's dead beat father's arse to pay child support I plead the 5Th.

 

[MrBosox78]

You can't control layoffs. If you lose your job and have to find one that pays much less that would take a major hit on finances. A friend of mine was a CPA and working at a company that had some really high-end clients.
She was making great money and had everything she wanted. Then the birth control didn't work and she had a child born with major and permanent disabilities and deformities. She quit her job to devote all her time to him. Her husband works and it's enough to get by but there's no money for savings.
I think she did the right thing, family is more important than money.
I suppose there are those who are blessed enough to never experience any financial hardships, I personally have had my ups & downs.When I was Crystal's age I was broke.

What do you do if you lose your job and can't find another ?

I'll start by answering your last question, since it was technically in the first sentence as well. I did lose my job 6 years ago. I was a corporate supervisor and made a pretty decent living. I was laid off for 4 months.

I supported my wife and two kids in those 4 months with money I had saved just in case there was an emergency. I didn't accrue any extra debt; I paid my mortgage, utilities, bought groceries and if I was required to pay child support I would have paid that as well. And to top it all off I was only 24 at the time.

Yes, some of us are more fortunate than others, but everyone has predicaments when it comes to finances. I don't care who you are.

Crystal has no excuse for being behind, whether it be a year or 4 years. Get a job at Burger King.

Same goes for every dead-beat dad out there....where mom has to get food stamps or force the kids to eat ramen noodles every meal of the day. (Nothing against ramen noodles!!!)

 

[Donjeta]

It makes me think......
But what are the chances really that misty would forget what shirt Haleigh had on? I have asked before do we know if Haleigh being three feet tall could turn on the light in the kitchen (I pulled out a measuring tape and she would not be able to reach my light switch) and walk over (in dark?) and remove her shirt and put it in the laundry. (5yo, after 10:30) Why would Misty lie about what shirt Haleigh had on? Why would misty then tell investigators about it when she was asked to get Haleigh's school clothes if she was lying from the beginning or didn't remember?

Well, she's five, she can climb on a chair or something if she can't reach something she wants.

 

[stilettos]

just want you to know i value your professional opinions. That is why i am here. I have to admit i have done thing to extreme measures to get my children's dead beat father's arse to pay child support:d i plead the 5th.

 

[BetsyB]

Any responsible adult can control their own fiscal security. You create your own state of affairs.

I'll go along with the notion that there's not a responsible adult in this whole case.

But let's say your layoff outlasted your COBRA benefits. (Jobs are being slashed and positions are vanishing.) And then soon after you were (joyfully!) re-employed, someone in your family suffered a medical crisis that created significant bills and ongoing followup expense. Are you sure you can control your fiscal security?

I don't think every adult can control his/her security. CS may have done a poor job handling hers---but even that, we don't quite know, because we don't know when/how/how often she missed payments. Were they during times when she and Ron had a verbal agreement ("OK, you buy the school clothes, and we'll call it even this month" ) and he then rescinded? Were they during times when she was unable to work due to advanced pregnancy?

We just don't know. When you're living as close to the bone as these people, then it's really easy to spiral out of control financially.

 

[Tom'sGirl]

New thread, and stay on topic
http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=82060