@Snoopster, I agree that affairs are common, custody battles are common and that people can act terribly during divorce.
But, what isn't common are what I believe are termed 'high conflict divorce proceedings' such as was seen in Dulos v. Dulos and I don't think the affair/divorce/custody can be separated from what happened to JF as it was the main event in the lives of FD, JF and MT and her daughter. I simply cannot think of one part of the lives of the 3 involved in the Dulos marriage that wasn't touched by the divorce proceeding.
CT has seen its share of such high conflict divorces over the years but iirc the Dulos v Dulos case was in the Top 10 in this category based on length of case time and motions filed and certainly cost. This category of divorce is rare and the toxicity of these cases often results in unfortunate unintended consequences such as perhaps what happened to JF imo and the spillover psychological effects on the children (victims all including Nicole Begue who was used by both FD and MT to communicate improperly with the Dulos children).
So, but I don't see how to separate the toxicity of the divorce from the murder of JF as the divorce/custody battle was the main event in the sad three ring circus that was FD life at the time (Divorce/Custody, failing business, MT affair and MT daughter living at 4JX)?
FD (and MT) were enraged about the continuing proceedings and the costs associated with the process were beyond what he was able to pay (MT wasn't financially situated to help much other than with incidentals such as food and gas imo). The irony of the situation with MT was that IMO she was simply a tool used by FD to seek revenge against JF for asking for the divorce (yes, I believe she asked for the divorce and then left) and GF for supporting her daughter to financially crush him as they had the wealth to do and which he didn't have the wealth to fight imo. MT was disposable (as seen with quick start of Anna Curry relationship) and someone no doubt who enjoyed the same things (skiing, sex and travel) and was just a side kick as she brought nothing socially to his life and certainly didn't bring money either imo.
My guess is that if FD hadn't murdered JF that his next motion in Family Court would have been for attorneys fees (he'd tried this before but was denied iirc) and support as FORE had no revenue at the time of JF death and high ongoing costs to maintain the properties during a time when the market was soft and FD stubbornly wouldn't sell any of the houses to reduce operating expenses for FORE either. My guess was that MT was paying to keep the lights on and heat on at 4JX and food on the table via her support arrangement for her daughter as FD cash was all taken up with legal bills and keeping FORE houses maintained and taxes paid. It was a financial powder keg imo for FD AND MT and imo it simply exploded and was helped along the way by MT prodding too.
It is very important to realise that at the time of her death that there was no near term resolution of the divorce or custody IN SIGHT even though it had been going on for 2 years! FD knew this, MT knew this and yet we see FD allegedly telling MT that 'she would soon be the mother of 6 children' and that he was 'winning' in Family Court per Defence Counsel. I can safely say that there is no factual basis to understand why FD would make either of these statements other than delusion. FD quite simply lied about the status of the Family Court situation is the only way I can understand what might have happened. Why MT, Troconis Crew and Defence Counsel are choosing to repeat the FD lies is something simply doesn't make sense to me as there is no basis in fact for anything they are saying.
The cost of the divorce/custody had financial crushed FD to the point where he could no longer afford attorneys and was representing himself in Family Court which resulted in chaos as he understood none of the process and couldn't handle the paperwork. JF at one point had legal bills (atty, GAL,Supervision) etc. exceeding $69,000 A MONTH for the divorce alone. This was ON TOP of paying for all expenses relative to maintaining the children as FD did not pay any support for his children for the duration of the divorce/custody proceedings and had discontinued medical insurance for JF and the children so she covered that as well.
SO, the entire financial burden of maintaining the family fell onto JF and required GF financial assistance as FD was effectively a 'dead beat dad'. Meanwhile FD and MT and her daughter were effectively squatting at 4JX which was a house owned by JF and which her father had arranged the mortgage (secured by liquid investments owned by him) and for which FD was responsible for paying interest only each month. FD stopped paying the interest on the mortgage and taxes so this was then all covered by JF and GF to keep the house out of foreclosure for a year or so. If you add up schooling for 5 children in private schools, rental housing in NC, medical insurance, maintenance of children and house etc. and then layer in all the divorce costs which JF was also paying (lawyers, GAL, professionals, Supervision etc.) it was a lot of money and FD was enraged about it as even if it wasn't his money, he and MT felt somehow entitled to it in a way that I simply do not understand. JF did all this herself with assistance from GF. I would term this an unusual situation as how many women (and a DV victim as well) are financially able to manage such a situation financially? I would argue very very few and this is another reason this tragic case is unusual imo.
I also don't see how the affair can be separated from the horrific murder of JF by FD/MT/KM. Just can't do it. As you say, affairs are not new news! But, based on what we saw in this sad case, it wasn't just that FD had an affair with MT and asked for a divorce and walked away? Nope. This isn't what happened. FD instead wanted to keep MT and her daughter and have them move into 4JX with JF and the 5 Dulos children. FD never asked for the divorce even though that was put out in social media by the Troconis Crew and fwiw I believe the JF timeline on the affair and request for divorce to be factually accurate. So, we have another 'unique' aspect of this divorce. FD wanted to move his mistress into the family home and PS he wanted to bring his mistresses daughter along too! Not too typical imo either and certainly something to generate anger and hostility on all sides imo too!
But, the other aspect of why Dulos v Dulos wasn't typical was that not only did FD use MT and her daughter as a psychological tool to torment JF in the divorce and custody proceedings but FD used MT and her daughter as tools to psychologically play games with the Dulos children, especially the two oldest. I believe that all this was done with the full knowledge and support of MT as she was well aware of the Court orders, yet chose to disregard them. MT also knowingly participated in having her daughter contact the Dulos children and FD when such contact was not permitted by the Court. So, we effectively saw FD weaponise MT against JF to torment her via using what she cared about the most which were her 5 children. IDK, this is unusual and its certainly also evil imo. MT clearly didn't mean anything to FD either as he dumped her quickly and moved on to Anna Curry.
So, we have a situation with a high conflict divorce but on top of that severe financial stress on all sides along with extreme psychological manipulation from FD of the 5 Dulos children and JF. I don't put this issue into the 'typical' divorce situation and my speculation is that FD and MT were diabolical in that they effectively weaponised the children (mainly oldest 2 imo) against JF because they knew it was the children that JF cared most about.
So now, you have JF single parent with primary custody trying to keep it all together, certainly paying for everything and then you have FD where every day is 'opposite day' in terms of complying with Family Court orders and his mistress who supports him and prods him hard to resolve things so their lives can get back to normal using children to torture and torment JF - I don't think this is a typical divorce custody situation at all. MT never makes mention of squatting at 4Jx for 2 years or discusses how FD planned to support their lives post divorce. Nope. MT also makes no mention of working for FORE (disclaims knowledge in LE Interviews) but was found in the civil case to have been paid $120,000 a year by FORE. To be noted is that I believe less than $1,000 was distributed the Dulos children after the Probate situation with his estate had been resolved.
MOO